Anyone else drinking almost 2 bottles of wine a night?

[Peaky777]

i’m drinking nearly two bottles of wine most nights. Sometimes I go weeks without drinking but when I’m on it, I’m on it. I drink nearly two bottles in about 4 hours. I know this isn’t right. I don’t really get a hangover but I do feel ‘jaded’ and I stumble over my words. I’m scared I’m going to lose everything. My husband works in another country so he doesn’t know. My children are older so spend time away from the house with their partners but we’re all so close. Nobody knows. My daughter even said the other day that she’s glad I’m not ‘one of those lonely mums who drinks on her own’…I’m exactly this person! So, I want to ask, has anyone drank this much but managed to stop or cut back without using AA? I just can’t bear the idea of this. I know I should consider it but I can’t . Any help or advice is appreciated.

I totally understand the embarrassment of telling the GP. But surely that would be less embarrassing than your boss talking to you about how you stink of alcohol in the morning, or when you get caught driving over the limit because you're still drunk from the night before?

The GP is there to help you, not judge you, and they've seen it all before!

I lost a close friend last week due to liver failure. He was an alcoholic. Sober for years, excessive drinking again for 18 months, dead. My advise, stop the drink, any which way is necessary. If that means going to AA or your GP, then do it.

*shrink the drink ... not the drunk 🙄.

Anyway I have no idea how I stumbled across the group but it's been nothing short of amazing how helpful / motivating and supportive it has been. I have also met some lovely new people in person on there which has really helped.

I just can’t get over the embarrassment and shame! I wish it was that effing easy! Your last sentence is what scares me from ever fully admitting what’s going on

It's not easy, but it is your choice and it is not impossible. It's utterly boring and everyday for your GP to help you. They will not be shocked. You can't see outside of yourself right now, but you have to try if you want to get healthy

Naltrexone.
Look at the Sinclair Method. It's stopped my partners drinking.

I hate to be blunt but I used to. Both are now dead.

I've alot of alcoholics in my extended family and I don't mean to lecture you but it's not sustainable but you know that.

In my experience, there's a very short gap between realising you have a problem and having time to address it and between the situation really escalating. Realising you have a problem is your warning sign - please don't ignore it. I've seen both sides so there's a good chance with help you can turn this around. Don't let it go any longer without addressing it.

If you are worried about local GP, use one somewhere else or book an online doctor. There's a way to get the help you need.

Can you even try reducing it initially - a strong sparingly drink you like for every second glass even?

AA is also online now so you can attend sessions where no one will recognise you, if you have a concern about local privacy.

There's also a drug you can take - forget the name of it, which will help you. As far as I know you have to turn up every morning to get it but I don't have all the details but it's worth making enquiries.

Please do seek assistance. Some many people will want you health and happy & in their lives long term.

I think the shame and embarrassment is what keeps a lot of people from seeking help. But that shame is caused by the alcohol, it keeps you locked in a cycle. When you stop (and stop you will because you can do this), one day you will lift your head up and you will feel pride in yourself. It’s all there and it’s all possible but it sounds like you really need support. I’m not sure if I’ve seen it mentioned but I understand AA do online meetings and you don’t even have to turn your camera on if everything else is too much for a first step.

As for sitting around watching Netflix, it’s whatever gets you through. I literally spent the first month sitting in a bath tub. Bit by bit you will find something that gives you satisfaction and maybe companionship.

I'm sorry you're going through this. My brother is a so-called 'high functioning' alcoholic who drinks about the same as you every night, holds down a responsible job, and also has a teenage daughter. I suspect I will lose him in the next 5-10 years and my niece will become fatherless. Unlike you, he seems to have no insight into what he's doing and doesn't think it's a problem. So you're already a million miles ahead of him.

Think of all the people who love you and would be absolutely devastated to lose you. And then try and muster up as much courage as you possibly can and hand that note over to the doctor. Don't think beyond this first step just yet, just try and be brave enough to do it. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Could you write it down the way you have here and then give it to your GP to start the conversation with her/him? I have done this with my GP (it wasn;t about alcohol but it made things so much easier for the consultation to have a list of bullet points and a written description of the things I was feeling). If you have a good GP who listens and is respectful then they should appreciate that you have taken this important step. Good luck, I am sure you can make changes that will help you

Hi. I haven't read all the messages yet.
I am similar to you, I drink a bottle a night and have done for a couple of years and I want to stop.
I have 3 DDs, my youngest is 10, have recently changed jobs which I am finding stressful and a massive change.
I also need to stop this habit. I have just started hot yoga, tonight I did relax and restore and I felt amazing, should have got into bed but wanted to watch a bit of tv so had a couple of gins.
I am going to try and book more classes to stop my habit....
Am happy to chat if you want x

Get the pain sorted out. The appointment is only 10 mins so you can bear that. Great advice to write it down.

Avoid activities that revolve around pubs. Take up pilates using you tube or something. Then a lovely bath, nightwear and bed with a good book.

Brush your teeth when you get home. Be busy- make a massive to do list. Find friends that don't drink.
We don't anymore. Just didn't - drink elderflower champagne instead. You can still have fun. One day at a time.

My friend managed to cut right down initially by buying bottles of non alcoholic gin, nice tonic, lemon etc and bottles of nosecco- it gave her a routine and made it feel like she was relaxing' gradually her body adjusted till she found she was quite happy with just a couple of actual drinks 2 nights a week - as she was on her own she stopped buying wine because the temptation was to finish a bottle whereas as a couple it tends to be shared. In all honesty she wasn't at the level she felt she couldn't ever drink at all , but she certainly needed to cut back as had got up to maybe 4 bottles a week

I used to drink a lot. I would have said probably a bottle and a half 4-5 nights a week and I would struggle to not drink on the other days. I was really worried I was an alcoholic who would never be able to stop but I just had a really unhappy life and over time fixing my life I kind of just cut down gradually, then when the time came to have children I found it tricky to stop but that incentive was enough.

Could a gp refer you to some counselling to maybe talk about your wider life / unhappiness that is leading to this much drinking? I don't know if that feels less scary to you but just an idea.

Also, ignore the judgemental comments, that's just someone lashing out to make themselves feel better.

I really do hope you find some help, I am a teacher too and I felt like I was living a double life at one point, it was very lonely x

This was me six months ago so still early days. I went to the GP to enquire about HRT and they ended up listening to my heart and finding a murmur and that scared me sober. I know how hard it is, OP. Is there anyone you can confide in to take with you to see the GP? For support? 💐 Best wishes x

Why do people post stuff that starts off quite useful (ish) then becomes vicious? Ffs.

You're anaesthetising yourself from something. I really would go to the GP and/or AA but I'd also consider 1:1 counselling/therapy. You need to work out what you are avoiding by drinking. What have you got in your life beyond work and drinking?

@Peaky777 the people in your life who love you would be devastated if your health seriously declined because of embarrassment.

alcohol has you in its grip. Go and speak to your doctor before things get worse…doesn’t just impact your loved ones, it causes many cancers.

Why are you doing it? Are you numbing feelings or drinking helps you to relax and switch off?

I'm resurrecting an old user name to reply OP. I bit the bullet a year ago and told my GP after a health scare. They were great and referred me to a Community Outreach programme who were absolutely useless. The guy was frequently late despite me telling him I was having to dip out of work which made me really anxious. He got my name wrong half the time and had no idea what we had discussed in our previous meeting, frequently getting details wrong. I got to our last session, nothing had changed and I felt so let down. I joined an online AA group but didn't even make it through the first meeting. I haven't done anything since but live with the shame every day. I don't know where else to turn.

I started taking Mounjaro for weight loss several months ago and noticed that I didn't want to drink afterwards. I haven't drunk at all in seven months when I was having about half a bottle of wine a night for years. I knew I had to stop but I didn't realise that the weight loss injection would be the thing to stop me drinking. I literally never think about it now.

Things I did;-

joined a website called “bright eyes”, seems to be on its last legs, but find similar
went to a few aa meetings (not for me and snuck out of my area form them)
read EVERYTHING I could lay my hands on about problem drinking, Jason vales book was the best for me
joined a support group at a community alcohol and drug centre (fucking eye opener)
had one on one counselling
did a session of neuro linguistic reprogramming (spent an hour buying the insides of my cheeks trying not to laugh
saw a psychiatrist
saw my gp
knitted
walked
white knuckled
told everyone I had a problem ( they all knew Anyhows)
went on naltrexone - GAMECHANGER

There's a good podcast called 'over the influence' and 'one for the road'. Also Andy Ramage has one.

Good luck at the Dr.

Had some experience in this, by both drying myself out (sober 24 years) and counselling others. From what you've written it's very plain that you're actually over one of the most difficult steps - by acknowledging there is a problem and showing a very real and palpable desire to change. I can tell you the real problem drinkers are the ones who don't even get this far.

See your doc. Search for support either in person or online. You've got this. The support on this thread is great.

Just one small point. I'd avoid AA and 12 step guff because that's rather cultish and sucks you in to the idea that we're helpless against our addictions. Nothing could be further from the truth.

All the best

I was listening to the “Hello Someday” podcast and they were talking about the detox/retox cycle. Essentially it takes 21 days to detox from alcohol so if you only abstain for 2 weeks….you’re never really giving yourself a chance to feel “better”. I’m 13 days into Dry January (my 5th one) and I normally start to feel fantastic by around Day 18 or 19.

The fact you spend those sober weeks going to bed early and not being productive is your clue that your body is trying to detox from all the poison.

For the rest of the year, I easily have 1 or 2 glasses a night so I do dry January to reset and the plan is always to only drink 2 nights per week….this then creeps up throughout the year. I’m more determined this time though as every year I look forward to January as it’s normally the month that I feel at my best.