Dry January and beyond

[BulldogMumma]

I couldn't find a dry January thread so thought I'd make one.
I've posted on the alcohol threads before but never see it through. This year I'm determined to do dry January and even beyond.
My drinking has really crept up lately and I know I need to address it. I lost my mum this year due to alcohol and I don't want to go the same way. I've been using alcohol as a crutch since losing my mum but now's the time I stop relying on the wine and take back control.
Anyone else who wants to join me are more than welcome, would be good to have some buddies along the way x

I agree its a really tough one as we tell ourselves we’ve worked hard so we should be able to enjoy a cocktail on the beach in your case it’s your honeymoon so it’s a very special occasion. congratulations have you had your wedding yet? Would you consider an AF wedding I’ve heard so many people say on podcast that they got so drunk at their wedding and they really regretted it. That would probably be me 😂
I really want to get to 100 days and then see how I can navigate it from there I’m hoping the cravings will dramatically decrease by then but looking at the science side it can take some time to break old habits and make new ones!

@TimeForNosecco Yes, we got married just before Christmas. Definitely wasn't an AF do but we knew our guests wouldn't drink much and it was a small do so there was a lot of soft drinks and tea/coffee available. I was tipsy by the end, but not to the point of doing anything regrettable!

I like the 100 days idea, that might be my next goal after January!

Good morning on day 11!
Also can I add my thanks to those sharing personal experiences of loved ones lost through alcohol - so sorry for your losses.
Good luck to all today - onward with the journey!

Also, on the theme of weddings, one of my biggest motivators to stop/ hardly drink, is the fact that my son is getting married in the summer, and I am so scared I will embarrass myself and my sons and husband through drunken behaviour, and forever regret what should be an amazing day.

Aw how lovely congratulations to you, where are you thinking about going for your honeymoon?
I went to Thailand at Christmas as fell in love with the place planning my next trip!!
I just feel 100 days is a good amount of time to really appreciate being sober for one and then see how I feel in myself i managed 75 days last year I felt amazing healthy etc but I hate to say it I was getting really bored!! And I know it’s just a ridiculous reason to drink!! I think I wanted to feel something different than my day to day baseline of nothing!! When I say nothing I felt calm and happy but maybe a bit numb also, hard to explain.
good luck with it and enjoy your honeymoon planning

I understand what you mean when you say that, that’s one of my biggest fears also knowing that I could over do it on a really important occasion it doesn’t happen every time I drink but I’ve definitely done things I’m not proud of because I’ve been drunk.
The fact that you know this in the back of your mind I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t let yourself go over board!
Well done to you and good luck 🙌🏻

@TimeForNosecco we looked at Thailand but couldn't make the timing work, so considering Mauritius or similar.

If anyone gets the Dry January emails, today's has got a bit in it about someone who gave up completely and now has a drink occasionally - was good to read how it can work.

I'm jumping back on the wagon, if that's ok. I got to 10 days from the 29th Dec then had a blip which turned into a 3 day blip. Felt good at 10 days and now feel sluggish and tired.

I'm going to friends for dinner tonight but I am driving so I won't drink. I also had a cold and the cough is still lingering and as wine has been making it worse it's a good incentive not to ditch the car later and uber it as I don't want to be coughing all through dinner.

Sainsburys are delivering this morning with wine but I'll turn it away - I find if I don't have any in the house I won't drink it. I have also downloaded Allen Carr's quit drinking book so I'll read that around 4pm when the thoughts start creeping in.

Positive this morning. I'm 4.5lb down this week! I have been healthy eating but for me, with wine comes crisps. Be interested to see how much my weight continues to (hopefully) come off over the next month. I'm going to continue this until Easter I've decided & then reevaluate
We have a family hol at Easter so I might have a couple then

Reading the unexpected joy of being sober. Very good strategy's in there.

I woke up this morning feeling really angry, like rage. Another shit night of sleep! Whyyyyyyy?! I think it was between 2 and 3 when I finally dropped off. So in 12 days I’ve had 2 good nights. Whyyyyyyy
The only thing I can put it down to was the chocolate but I can’t give that up as well, I just can’t…. Help me!

Similar and goes to show how much alcohol has been affecting our bodies, also shows how important it is to make these changes, i believe it takes around 3 or 4 weeks for sleep to improve significantly.

A magnesium supplement can help with sleep,or Valerian herbal tablets.
I am sleeping really well now having bought one of these grounding sheets that are all over SM. I was very very sceptical I have to say but it does work..both with sleep and fibromyalgia.

Hi everyone I have been lurking and following along. I would describe myself as a heavy drinker of wine 3-4 nights a week - around a bottle of wine or just over on those days.

I made it to 9 days and then fell off the wagon with a crash last night. I drank 3/4 of a bottle of red and a corona and now I feel awful - groggy and sluggish. I'm kicking myself because I've felt so good without booze. I've felt relaxed and healthy and a kind of glow that is difficult to describe.

I've had cravings on and off generally but managed to get through them but last night was different. The craving was so intense and I felt a kind of grief that I couldn't have that warm glow and feeling of release that red wine brings. So I caved and the reality was that instead of feeling warm and happy all I experienced was the feeling of wanting more as I drank.

I think the reason my craving was so strong last night was because it was Friday and I have such strong reward associations with it - also because I was tired and hungry. I'm getting back on the wagon again and next Friday will arm myself with non-alcoholic treats.

One interesting thing I learned from last night was what alcohol does to my heart rate. I bought a Fitbit about a week ago and my heart rate reading for last night is 10 bpm higher than my average rates for the last week!

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of loved ones on this thread. It has been a real wake-up call to read and I'm very grateful to you all for sharing. X

Morning all, glad to hear everyone's success stories, but saddened to hear about those who have lost people close to them. Reminded me of a colleague who was a heavy drinker. She admitted to a bottle of wine a night, but if you were out with her, she could get through 3 times that amount and still be standing. A mutual friend was behind her in a supermarket queue. He had recently given up alcohol and she asked him what it was like not to drink. She was found dead at home a few weeks later. She was in her mid 40's. I think she wanted to make a change but it was just too hard, and too late for her. Sadly I think that for some people, it's too dangerous for them to drink at all. It doesn't seem fair that some can moderate and others can't, but it isn't a personal failing, it's just that we're all different.

On the question of feeling numb or bored without alcohol, I think it takes a while to adjust to the lack of stimulation. Some of the alternatives have a relaxing effect, but you don't get the same buzz. I'm focusing on getting a mental boost from good coffee (have recently treated myself to an espresso machine 😋).

Have great weekends and stay strong!

Don’t worry about a slip up get back on board with us 🙂 also it’s useful to hear honest and frank accounts of how people feel so thanks for sharing too.

It helps with the rose specs when the day dreams start and false (for me) fantasies of me sitting there enjoying some fine wine when the reality is just different and actually I’d just end up feeling rotten and annoyed with myself.

Being sober there is a healthy glow, less dehydrated and also more stable, calmer and less tense. There an underlying aggro, irritability that I feel when hanging and unrested sort of low level agitation that makes me think oh sod it I need another drink to feel relaxed again - but it’s a cyclical thing and I’m not truly relaxed or rested as it’s a dopamine high and that will need to crash down again before it stabilises- being sober you are out of all these ups and downs

The side effect though about being stable is that it’s boring haha and all the time spent before is now freed up - the key is replacing it and making new habits but that takes time. I’ve learnt so far that staying psychologically strong and motivated is harder and lasts way longer than the intitial physical detox and I’m only on day 11 😆- got a while to go yet!

I had been using alcohol to induce sleep. I realised I have become very bad at falling asleep by myself. I use a soothing voice on YouTube now

Yes, my sleep has been rubbish, too. I understand it takes 72 hours for alcohol to leave the system! I've had a couple of goodish ones but the herbal teas make me wee and I have to be dog tired to sleep well!

I, too, am finding my evenings a bit flat and boring.. 😕

Maybe we just have to learn to embrace boredom? It has such negative connotations, but perhaps it's an opportunity to use our imaginations and try out new things. I've had some of my best ideas when feeling bored. It's also a chance to experience the human condition without distraction - and there are so many of those these days.

Thank you for the replies, my tantrum has finished 😂I feel more measured now. For a second I thought about drinking tonight just so I could experience that unconsciousness a bottle brings but then I read @JazzieC’s post, so thank you for sharing. It reminded me that actually, alcohol doesn’t solve anything and I need to preserve with this and the sleep will come eventually.

I took DD to her club this morning and bumped into a friend. I can’t tell you how nice it was to feel like a normal person on a Saturday morning. Not hungover. Not worried about whether I smelt of booze. Not hiding from other parents. Not ashamed or worried they knew. I could just say hi and be normal. That’s what I want every weekend. Shit sleep is a price worth paying for that.

Hi everyone. What a beautiful frosty day it is here!

Just checking in and enjoying everyone's updates and thought-provoking insights, thank you for sharing.

I am definitely in the camp of feeling like I want to go beyond January now, possibly aiming for 100 days or Easter as a goal but also with a view to permanent abstinence.

My main problem, I think is I drink to ease anxiety (I know it actually just makes it worse in the long run). So moderation is hard/impossible because if I have drunk one day, I'll feel a little anxious the next day and want to drink in the evening to ease it and so on and so on. It's an endless cycle.

I'm already feeling a sort of sense of liberation from the mental load of thinking so much about when I've drunk, whether I should have a day off etc. It is such a waste of time! My drinking last year crept up to almost daily with maybe around 8 days not drinking per month. In other words, way too much! And like some others have said, my thoughts would so often be turning to 'when can I have a drink?', maybe not enjoying an event in the evening so much if I couldn't have a drink. I don't want to be like that.

I'm feeling so much more clear-headed and light on my feet, despite poor sleep due to a poorly toddler this week.

I'm steering clear of AF drinks as like someone.else said, they kind of make me feel like having a real drink. That said when I start again to go to some social events I think they will probably help me avoid the actual booze!

I really identify with this last paragraph!

Day 7 so a little behind but I really relate to the posts about boredom.

I've encountered boredom during other dry spells but eventually decided that being dry doesn't make my life MORE boring - it just illuminates how boring my life really is. So the solution - for me - is to make my life more interesting, with or without alcohol.

The most extreme example was when I realised, during a dry spell, that I was super bored with my job. Once I realised I slowly changed paths to something I liked better. During another dry spell, I was so bored I took up running even though I'm crap at it and started entering some low-key events (Park Run, Race for Life etc.). I'm still a crap runner, but I've more or less kept it up because I like the sense of purpose from working towards impossible goals like running a 10k. More boringly, I've also got into jigsaws and learning to crochet while listening to podcasts or watching the telly. Less productively, I've become addicted to playing board games online at sites like bored Board Games Arena. I hope I don't sound smug (God knows my life is far from exciting), but maybe someone reading this will find it helpful to see boredom as a sign that it's time for a challenge or a change. The problem is when sober-you realises that a person or relationship is boring without booze - that's not so easily solved!!

I can relate to the feeling that evenings are boring. I have three kids requiring lots of schlepping about - wine is my reward for having got everyone where they needed to be and then back home. Not enough time for me that is not staring at mindless telly.
I have a challenge this week in that I’m going to a work do with lots of colleagues I haven’t met (I work in a remote role) which would normally cause me a bit of social anxiety and it’s a belated Christmas do with a free bar….

Help, major craving alert
Have been run off my feet doing housework and looking after (my insane) kids all day. DH just smashed my beloved (expensive) favourite vase
brain suddenly telling me it’s nearly time for alcohol. Haven’t felt this so far but suddenly
Feel like I need and deserve it and a few drinks tonight would be no big deal
any advice how to deal?