Would I be classed as an alcoholic?

[Isabelle728]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to get everyone's opinions on my drinking situation.

I never binge drink and it's something I don't think about first thing in the morning, however come 3/4pm I start to think about that glass of wine that I usually would have in the late afternoon/ evening. I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly.

I do think the wine for me is a quick way to relax and I also really enjoy the taste of it but it has become a habit.
Would this make me an alcoholic or addict if I have 1-2 glasses a day and does it also make me an alcoholic that I would struggle to put a stop to this?

I just feel a bit stuck on what to do. Do I continue to have a glass or two if it's really not that bad and it's my way of relaxing or is it bad that I crave it so much and I should just put my mind to it and stop? Thanks x

I don't think this makes you an alcoholic OP, but this is how it can start. It's just so easy for a daily habit of 1-2 to become 3-4. You're right to be questioning it and the fact that you are rationalizing it is something to be aware of. Very few people can drink every day and limit it to just 1 glass.

I had the same sort of dependency a couple of years ago and then had a health scare. I used to look forward to a drink and would take any opportunity to drink.

I now only drink when I'm out of the house socialising and in moderation - maybe a beer or two. I have a beer in the house for Strictly with my mum and no more. No wine and no spirits. It had become a habit and way to de-stress and I didn't realise I had very few alcohol free days. Now I keep well within 14 units.

I try to manage my stress in a different way and realise the motivation behind why I was drinking in the first place.

I would suggest stopping completely for a fortnight and then decide how you want to continue.

If you are drinking every day, you have a drink problem. (regardless of the quantity)
That's a fact.

I don't think it's normal or healthy to drink half a bottle of wine a day - but I also don't think it necessarily makes you an alcoholic - though it is unhealthy. Alcohol impacts so many parts of your body and by the time you notice signs, the damage has already happened.

I grew up with alcoholic grandparents and parents who (in their own words) drank too much when I was younger, and while they weren't alcoholics, it really wasn't pleasant to be around - that alone put me off drinking as an adult myself.

I have a similar situation. I enjoy sitting down with a can of lager when I get home from work. It is definitely a relaxation trigger and also a way of stopping people 'needing' me in the evenings. I can't pop out and do jobs for others if I've had alcohol. I am primarily an at home drinker. I live rurally so can't generally drink out as taxi is so expensive. I won't even have one drink and then drive.

If I go out and do stuff in the evening I don't miss a drink. If I'm with non drinkers I won't drink. I went on holiday for three weeks without touching a drop last year as I was busy with other things and with non drinkers. It's the habit that needs sorting.

Needing and craving a drink every day, to me, means you have a problem.

No not really. I used tu be exactly like you. You have to stop to stop wanting it so much. What about dry Jan? That helps reset things. I don’t really like drinking much now I am much older

Alcoholics are physically dependent on alcohol and their one and only aim throughout the day is maintaining their blood/alcohol ratio.
A couple of glasses of wine in the afternoon/evening every day does absolutely NOT make you an alcoholic. If it's become a habit, and you are uncomfortable with that, then there is endless self-help literature on "sobriety" that can help.

You've pretty much described my old drinking pattern and I was a long way from being an alcoholic. But I am very good at knowing when I need to stop. I rarely drink to excess, even at parties. Not everyone is like me and it can be a slippery slope. And I have never felt a need to drink in secret, or to lie about how much I drink. That's a big teller. I wouldn't panic or sulk if I thought I couldn't have a drink for any reason. If it was out of the house and distracted/busy with something, I wouldn't be sitting there thinking 'it's that time of night and I really need my wine now'. It was just that that nightly routine at home was hard to break.

I was drinking daily. Rarely more than 1/2 a bottle of wine, but while that's not particularly excessive, it's not great either. Whereas my DH would think nothing of drinking a bottle to himself and then opening another one. Once he started he just couldn't seem to stop. Until he was ready to go to bed he would just keep pouring. Every now and again he'd stop for a couple of weeks, usually after a real skinful/binge session where we'd ended up having an argument about it because he'd made a tit of himself. But as soon as he started again, he'd be drunk as a skunk. No in-between. No ability to moderate his intake at all.

I think he accepted he was an alcoholic when it started to impact on our relationship because he'd be drunk every evening at home, and I got sick of it. He'd be slurring and talking bollocks by 8pm each evening. Going 'out out' he'd get completely and utterly hammered and end up making an arse of himself somehow. Not violent or anything, just embarrassing. I started to make noises about having had enough.

Also, if we needed to stop anywhere for lunch, he'd insist on finding somewhere he could also have a glass of wine. He'd get quite irritable if I wanted to just stop at a Costa for a sandwich and a coffee. The wine suddenly became more important than the food, even at midday. Now he doesn't drink at all and hasn't for a few years. I am so proud of him.

I have finally managed to break my evening wine habit since taking Wegovy. It was not helping my weight gain or my terrible insomnia or my gastric reflux or my bank balance.

Since I've been on Wegovy I don't tend to even think about it. I just pour myself a glass of water with dinner and it's become second nature. It's like trying to break any other bad habit really, the first few days are the hardest because it's routine and muscle memory and you do tell yourself that you need that initial 'taking the edge off' feeling that a glass of wine gives you. But once you've done three or four days you can do three or four weeks. It honestly doesn't take long to break that routine. The longer you go the easier it is. I do still drink, but rarely at home. Mostly only if we are out for a meal, or with friends, which isn't often. I probably drink less in a week now than I used to in 2 days. Even on a big night out I'd not have more than 2 drinks, 3 tops. I know the Wegovy has helped massively but I really don't think I will return to the nightly habit even when I stop the injections. I've broken the pattern and hopefully that will stick.

I would say to look into finding something else that quenches that thirst and fills the habit space.

I found that it was the drive, in my case, to have something chilled when I got home from work. I am quite happy now to have either a diet coke, or a non-alcoholic beer. I drink at the weekends, but no longer have a desire to have a drink in the week.

The Kylie non-alcoholic sparkling rose is our go-to lunchtime drink for Christmas Day now. None of us like an afternoon drink as we'll have a raging headache and snooze all afternoon but we love this.

Yes it wasn’t the looking forward to it so much but the being concerned enough to think that she might have a problem and then deciding to cut down rather than give up. Which suggests a problem. Hopefully I’m wrong and she can cut down to sensible amounts but the evidence suggests if there is a problem then trying to stop completely is much better and sustainable than cutting down. There’s a reason why AA promotes abstinence not cutting back

I would say yes

if you can’t go without it then yes. Even if you drink it once a week or once a fortnight if you can’t cope with it then yes you are

As someone who likes wine I would say it's a lot. Drinking every night is not good for your body. This habit couldn't become an alcohol problem. Half a bottle of wine a night is quite a lot to. Personally I would say start cutting back slowly so Monday night no wine, then add in Tuesday night no wine etc. I think having a hobby or something you enjoy to focus on might help to. I like a fresh orange and lemonade at times as it feels like a treat bits alcohol free.

It’s not the amount of alcohol, it’s the addiction, and you are addicted.
Start with every other day alcohol free, and go from there.

I was the same, OP, for years.

Then I realised how much of my grocery bill was wine and I did a Drinkaware Quiz with total honesty. Also wanted to lose some weight. So I cut down to a couple of glasses (regular size glasses not 250ml glasses) on Fridays and Saturdays only. Or made one bottle a week last 3 nights.

As you say, finding other treats / relaxation habits is key. Mine are putting my furry slippers on and watching box sets, having a really good hot drink, having consciously healthy snacks and revelling in the idea that I was doing good for myself.

Other things could be lighting a scented candle or having a luxurious bath.

It’s a habit, and few habits are broken without a bit of resolve.

Keeping busy or engaged in something helped. Not ‘jobs’ but nice things, a good book, sorting out and arranging photos, gripping or funny TV.

Didn’t take long to break the habit.

They do say if you start asking if you're an alcoholic you're on your way. Two glasses at 12% isn't ideal every night, I'd nip that in the bud pronto. Go Mon-Thurs no wine, cut down the amount of units and see what a difference it makes. The worry is two glasses becomes a bottle, a bottle a night is way over the recommended amount of units and dangerously tapping on the door of destruction.

Listen/Read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, it explains alcohol really well

I know PP mentioned alcohol free wine but could you try lower alcohol wine? I’d start by lowering the alcohol content first.

Then maybe drop to only drinking a glass or two four days per week for a month and then three days for another month until you’re down to a couple of glasses on say Friday and Saturday night.

Sometimes just stopping seems too big a mountain to climb and sets a person up to fail. Very restrictive diets are a good example of this. Saying ‘no chocolate ever again’ is not realistic. No chocolate today is more manageable and means you’re much less likely to just give up. Small steps, over time.

I don’t think you’re an alcoholic OP but something is telling you that this is becoming a habit, which could lead to problems later. My two brothers are/were alcoholics (one died as a result). Addiction comes on slowly and making positive and lasting changes also need to be made over time.

Sort of. There are many shades of grey and the NHS defines alcohol dependency in many ways including someone who drinks more than 14 units of booze a week. If the OP is having half a bottle of wine a day that’s about 5 units a day or 35 units per week - more than double what is considered a ‘safe’ level.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-misuse/

You are describing a severe alcoholic, and I agree that it doesn’t sound like the OP wakes up and immediately necks a bottle of wine, however to say that a couple of glasses of wine per day doesn’t make them dependent is wrong. They are.

This subject is quite pertinent to me at present as I had my own waking up moment six months ago. Felt tired all the time, depressed, all sorts. Had a complete blood screen done privately and the results showed that both my liver and kidneys were not happy to put it mildly. Loads of the symptoms around low energy I had were suspected to be part of my alcohol intake each week. Come home from a hard day and crack open a beer, sports on tv at the weekend well that’ll be a few pints, nothing better to do in a Sunday well I may as well have a few glasses. My drinking was probably similar in units to the OP, and you lull yourself into this mentality of well I’ve not got a problem, I can stop anytime.

So I did. 6 months sober other than the odd glass of wine / beer for social occasions. My biomakers are nearly all back in range, I’m not tired, I’ve lost 2 stone in weight and I don’t get up three times a night to visit the toilet. For me I knew that boozing is bad just as smokers on some level realise that smoking 10 B&H a day is bad, but you just think ah well I’ll just stop sometime and I’ll be fine. For me it took seeing that in black and white through a blood test to give me an actual kick in the backside to stop. I’ve got quite used to alcohol free beer now!

I’m very similar @Isabelle728 only probably around 200ml a day but everyday. I’ve not been drunk for over 3 years but I do drink most days. I’m also conscious it’s not good on many levels but I feel like it is a bit of a crux for me right now.

My cousin must be hard core he drank a pint of vodka in the morning and continued drinking until he calapsed. He did end up in hospital eventually and he was jaundice. He stopped drinking 10 years ago after it nearly killed him.

My uncle is also an alcoholic he drinks alcohol like it's water. He even walks around with a bottle pretending it's water it's actually vodka. He drinks later on in the day. He's a controlled alcoholic if there is any such thing.

The op drinking 1 to 2 glasses a night she's not an alcoholic she sounds more like a comfort drinker (I made it up) she can stop if she wants to. Drinking everyday will wear down the body and dehydrate it. Op is probably feeling like it's time to slow down or stop for a while. You don't sleep properly you still feel tired. The op has noticed that but I don't think she's alcoholic she doesn't understand what alcohol does to the body even when you drink the recommended amount.

You initially said you have it late afternoon/early evening, then once you'd mentioned your child you said its after they are in bed. Which is it? It's just that feeling ashamed or a need to bend the truth a bit could also be a sign that it's a problem.

Let's be right: government 'advice' on this has changed vastly in recent decades. I'll bet, of the drinking population (ie, every adult who is not teetotal), the majority are 'alcoholics' by modern criteria.