Would I be classed as an alcoholic?

[Isabelle728]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to get everyone's opinions on my drinking situation.

I never binge drink and it's something I don't think about first thing in the morning, however come 3/4pm I start to think about that glass of wine that I usually would have in the late afternoon/ evening. I do struggle to make it 1 day without a glass or two of wine. I told myself today that I want to stop mid week drinking and today is the day I start that, however I am already craving wine so badly.

I do think the wine for me is a quick way to relax and I also really enjoy the taste of it but it has become a habit.
Would this make me an alcoholic or addict if I have 1-2 glasses a day and does it also make me an alcoholic that I would struggle to put a stop to this?

I just feel a bit stuck on what to do. Do I continue to have a glass or two if it's really not that bad and it's my way of relaxing or is it bad that I crave it so much and I should just put my mind to it and stop? Thanks x

I had to give up the demon drink when I became allergic almost overnight post menopause. One minute I was drinking myself silly next I was tee total.
What I found out was that alcohol isn't a fun machine. It's 90% advertising and 10% powerful neuro toxin.
Life without alcohol is much better I enjoy so many more things. It used to be just alcohol I enjoyed now it's opera and sunsets and remixed 80s music and peace and quiet.
There is a great pod cast called sober powered by an American chemistry professor called Gill Teitz she said in one podcast alcohol seriously messes with our ability to experience pleasure. It turns the dial up to a 1000 when ordinary non drug pleasure is measured 1 to 10. This is why dry January feels grim our brains are set on alcohol pleasure gauge.
Good luck with whatever you do OP.

@RaiseitM it's depends, I sometimes have a glass while cooking or when he goes to bed or this can be both. I usually start dinner at 4pm

I don't think its always helpful to ask 'am I an alcoholic' in this way. Alcoholism follows a variety of patterns/behaviours and you can very easily justify away a lot, as people in this thread will have already done...

I think its better to evaluate whether you need to alter your drinking patterns/behaviour.

• Do I crave alcohol before I can have it...
• Do I feel as if I need alcohol to relax...
• Would I be grumpy/annoyed if I expected to drink then could not...
• Am I drinking more than the recommended units per week
• Do I binge drink...
• Am I drinking every night of the week, regularly..
• Do I feel like I 'deserve' alcohol as a treat or reward...
• Does my behaviour alter negatively when I have had a drink...
• Can I stop at one drink...

I think if you're answering yes to more than a couple of those questions, you have a problem and should consider altering your behaviour. If you're answering yes to most or all of them, you should seriously consider not drinking at all.

I was answering yes to most of those questions (and more...). I don't drink more than a rum and coke or a baileys in hot chocolate at christmas now. I am not an alcoholic, yet. But as the child of two alcoholics, that could happen very easily!

Can you think of any other things you could do as evening treats to look forward to instead of the alcohol, eg a good book, mocktails, warm bath, a long walk or exercise class, or whatever you might enjoy doing?

Hi OP. For me this would be the time I absolutely wouldn't be able to drink. I would be prioritising sorting out the new house, being on top of my job and above all else getting as much sleep as humanly possible in order to cope with the stress.

And I am someone who would massively prefer to drink at home than socially.

Try to reduce gradually. Don't feel the need to label yourself and 'alcoholic/addict' necessarily.
Just know it's unhealthy and you think it's best to cut down.
Do as many things in the day before you allow yourself a drink. So have few tasks you don't really want to do, but if you complete them then you can have a glass.
But think about other pleasures, sex, food, going to a play/gig/ exercise? Also saving the money you spend on booze for a holiday or treat?
If you feel like you can't go a day or two without a drink then there's always AA. You can go there and listen. It helps you see what damage booze does and how much better people can feel without it. You don't need to be drinking vodka on the school run to benefit from meetings.

You are unfortunatley addicted as you can’t go without it. Plus by two glasses do you mean half a bottle? When I was very young wine was sold in much smaller glasses in pubs. I just had a quick look online and it was not my imagination and over the last 20 years glass sizes have got much bigger. So in theory many people will go well over the recommended unit limit per week but have no idea because you do tend to think of one glass as one unit, I certainly do.

750 ml is a bottle of wine and recommended alcohol levels means 14 units per week, there are 10 units of alcohol in just one bottle of wine. Attitudes to food and alcohol have changed at a very rapid rate over the last 25 years.

I’m really sorry, OP, but what you have described absolutely is alcohol dependency. It’s not the amount that one drinks or what time of day it is drunk that defines it. Lots of alcoholics set up rules for themselves and think that as long as they stick to the rules then they aren’t alcoholics - e.g. I never have a drink before 4 or I only drink 4 days a week or I only have two glasses of wine - but the issues is that they remain dependent on, and fixated on, alcohol and when they can drink it. It starts like this and creeps up and up. No severe alcoholics started out by drinking at 6am, they start in the same place you find yourself in.

I think you should seek help as soon as you can. This doesn’t just go away and you deserve not to live like this.

Best of luck, OP.

No it's not alcohol dependency. Its being a bit fed up.

FGS.

If you are struggling to go without it , you are dependent - yes.

Rubbish.

Half a bottle a day is over 30 units a week so that’s double the recommended maximum. I’m not judging (I’m a recovering alcoholic) but you do sound psychologically dependent.
If you want to cut down and find you can’t, then I’d say you had a problem.
I started drinking this way BTW but it escalated. Alcoholism is a progressive disease.

Well done at identifying a problem, it's half the battle. Best of luck on your journey. (i work in drug and alcohol, your drinking pattern could easily escalate if you didn't look at reducing. Plus health outcomes with that level are worse so whatever reductions you can manage to get under 14 units is all great progress.

Yes.

You're an alcoholic if you can't stop drinking alcohol and / or if you stop drinking alcohol but can't stop thinking about alcohol

Do you feel dehydrated and fatigued maybe you should not drink in the week and wait until weekend. I feel more stressed and tired if I drink in the week. It makes me feel lethargic. Is that what you are experiencing?

At the end of the day OP it's a problem if you feel it's a problem.

Is it affecting your sleep, how you feel during the day, your mood/ behaviour?

The fact that you've posted here about it implies that it's causing you some level of distress/ discomfort. If that's the case then you should probably try to cut back.

If you enjoy it and it's not causing you any problems, however, what is the issue?

It's really your own decision to make.

In my experience, it's one of those things that escalates quickly.

The point where people usually start to question if they are drinking too much goes two ways. Either they take control of ot there are then or soon they aren't able to control it.

Now is the time to address it while you still can. One little pickup in life (stress, job loss) will mean the amount you are having won't be enough, you'll increase it and then it will control you.

Do it now.

Isnt it expensive, 3 or 4 bottles a week at what £7 a bottle for a half decent one one? So maybe 100 quid a month? Just save it and treat yourself or your dc every few months. What does your dp think has he ever raised any concerns?

OP, the fact that there's an even split on the thread of people telling you you're definitely an alcoholic, vs people saying you're not, means it actually doesn't matter to anyone else what you choose to label yourself as. You need to decide this for yourself. Plenty of people drink a little bit every day and they get on ok with that. Some would call that being a functioning alcoholic. In a way, it doesn't matter - what matters is how you want to live. Until you admit to yourself that you're not in control and you're unhappy with the clockwork cravings (which are a mark of dependency), things won't change. You don't need to go straight to AA. Have you tried self-referral for counselling on the NHS (IAPT) in your local area?

Alcoholism is one of those diagnosis that ends up being a label. The question is how is it affecting you and why are you asking MN? Has someone said something to you about it?

Are you being honest about how much you drink? Could you measure it to make sure? If someone tried to take the wine from you would you become aggressive?

If you are worried about the effect is has on your health, could you swap a couple of bottles out for non-alcoholic wine and see what happens?

the clockwork cravings
Enjoy your wine and snack. What a load of sanctimonious nonsense.