On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

@Inthelastchancesaloon That's amazing! How do you feel after going a month without?

I've managed one day so far!😆

It's not exotic but I usually drink ginger beer when I'm not drinking. I also like a virgin Mary from time to time.

I just drink soda water with a slice of lime and ice if I’m not drinking. Or a Virgin Mary.

oh! I also tried an amazing Italian iced coffee the other day, it’s called a Shakerato. It came in a fancy glass and was lovely

Hi everyone
Just catching up with the thread.
Was doing okay and just about managing AF during the week until had a health scare a few weeks ago.
You'd think that would kick me massively into abstaining but it's been the opposite.
Have made some progress with lifestyle / trying to address stress levels / very healthy mostly plant based diet and regular exercise, but as soon as I stop around 6pm and start dinner I have time to think .
One glass of wine and I'm crying that I have a horrible disease and I won't actually know or get all results until end of Nov. The wait is dreadful.
I really need to wind in the alcohol big time and I know this but really struggling right now more than ever to actually do it.
I'm drinking a bottle a night and I know it's not helping. Like another poster said it's only the first glass really that's nice then it's just calories.
Sorry to be so negative.
Got a nice weekend away with DH and my lovely MIL and DD coming up and it would be really bad timing to try and not drink then.
Maybe Monday and all week?
Really struggling to think clearly about much, so making a plan and sticking to it is hard. Not helped by the drinking I know. It's making me more anxious not less.
I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and sort this.
Hope everyone is having a kind day x

@mumzof4x I'm sorry to hear that. Please post on here or PM if you need support x

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine thank you that's really kind

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine I'm sleeping so much better, I didn't think it would make so much difference but it really has. My skin looks better than it did, my eyes aren't red etc. I'm not snacking as much in the evening as I don't get the drinking munchies lol. There's been so many positives and not one negative which is why I'm cautious about spoiling it all!
I wish I liked ginger beer 🫠
@BannedWagon I've been drinking a lot of sparking water in the evening but maybe adding some lime to it might pep it up a bit.

Hope it is OK that I join? I have been drinking pretty much daily for 10 years, bar pregnancy, illness and on/off fad diets. I stopped drinking a month ago, but had a preplanned event last night and drank, I feel so stupid as I didn't really enjoy it and feel like my 'streak' has been wasted. I know deep down that a month was not long in the grand scheme of things, but seeing the days add up really helped.

I am trying to take it as a positive and want to be completely alcohol free going forward as I don't want to feel this disappointment again. Any tips about starting day 1 again? Thanks

@mumzof4x sounds like a hard time 💐 Ive stopped the midweek wine by alluring myself a couple of drinks if I really want one: a vodka and slimline or something like that, far fewer calories and not the easy finishing the bottle I can do with wine

Morning all! Been away visiting friends. AF wise was difficult and I did indulge in a few drinks which I did enjoy. But I've totally gone off red wine for the moment, so that's good. Did enjoy some sparkling wine.
Didn't feel the need to have a daily fix and I'm now back home and back to being totally AF. Most probably until Xmas.
I found that having a couple of drinks did mess with my sleep and I was waking up at silly hours in the morning. So that definitively was an interesting find. Just a couple of drinks after 2 months of abstaining and your sleep goes.
Thankfully I did manage to get a lot of walking done and my weight didn't sore. Didn't shrink either. Just lost a couple of pounds.
So I messed up soboctober by having a couple but am now determined to continue my AF journey. Mainly because I do notice the difference now between being totally AF and having even a couple of drinks. Skin wise there's a difference and it seems to be so slow to get the glow back. Without talking about the dreaded bloat and will not talk about any intestinal changes as it's way too early in the morning.
Have been reading all the posts, welcome to the newcomers and encouragements to all, old and new. @Jbob1976 keep on trying. You're going through such a tough period, you can't change it all overnight. It took me over a year, perhaps 2, to manage 2 months. Rome wasn't built overnight.
Sending best wishes to @Amdone123 who seems to be having a break, hope you're OK. Not sure if that is Mumsnet OK, but hey ho...your posts were always so helpful to me.
Sending strength to all. Love yourselves and enjoy the weekend!

@Nowstrong well done, and interesting to see you have gone off red wine. Another shout out to @AmDone123 - I also enjoyed reading your posts - take care.
@BannedWagon it is very strange how we all seem to want to finish the bottle of wine but okay with spirits. Odd.
@Determined24 welcome.

Greetings to everyone else and thank you for posting.

Afternoon, NOvember is going well despite it just happening to start on a weekend when I'm off work and throwing me in at the deep end!
I need to stop eating loads to compensate although I won't be getting any weight loss as a bonus.

I'm finding it easier somehow knowing I have planned the whole month off, like I shouldn't even be thinking about wanting a drink right now. I haven't gone a whole month since Dry January 2019!

Unlike Dry January 2019, I will not be drinking as much as possible as soon as it's done to make up for lost time and falling straight back into bad habits. I haven't come up with a plan what to do going forward yet, it feels a bit premature. Maybe now is the time to ACTUALLY give up whiskey!

Hi everyone - can I join? DH and I have made a slightly late start to NOvember following an excessive weekend. I have a get together planned with my sister this coming Saturday and I will have a drink then but apart from that I'm planning to be dry for the month.

I'm drinking far too much at the moment and it's beginning to worry me. In theory, DH and I have an agreement not to drink Mon-Thurs but it rarely works out - if we're lucky we get to Wednesday but if there's a stressful/celebratory event we might end up drinking throughout the whole week. Weekdays we would share a bottle of wine, but weekends are a lot more excessive and an evening for me would be half a bottle of wine and 2 cans of beer minimum. DH will drink more than that.

Ideally I would like to keep to the recommended 14 units and only drink Fri-Sun but I'm aware that if I can't moderate I will have to give up for good. A very scary thought as my brain is hard-wired to associate all things comforting and celebratory with booze. ☹️

My three reasons are: health, weight and mental well-being.

Welcome @JazzieC , I can relate to so much of what you wrote! DH and I tend to be bad influences on each other too.
My DH isn't joining me for the whole month but he is pleased I'm doing it as it will help him cut down, he is going for a week off apart from Tuesday (we're visiting the PILs, this will test me but I am determined to stay strong!) .

I had a dream last night that I had a drink and woke up feeling like a failure - I was so pleased when I realised it wasn't real!

Thanks @Freezingfeetwarmheart DH and I are terrible influences on each other! He's on board with this month as he's just had a health check and his cholesterol is pretty high.

Good luck with this week. I know that awful sinking feeling of waking up and realising I've broken yet another resolution not to drink. It's the best feeling ever to wake up clear-headed.

Hi there, sorry I bailed on you all last week, had the week off work and an arranged night out. No real excuse but didn't AF a single day. But back here now to commit to 3 AF days, starting today. Feeling sleep deprived and have that edgy anxious feeling I get when I've been drinking too often. Need to relish some calm AF evenings. Bring them on.

Hi all can I join? Again?
I've joined so many of these threads and always manage a couple of days AF, feel better then go back to the wine.
This time I've told myself no alcohol until Christmas, I'm currently on day 4 and not missing the wine yet. I was drinking a bottle of wine a night.
My reasons for abstaining are

1. Health - my mum died due to alcohol and I don't want my children to go through the same
2. My children - I don't want them growing up remembering mum as drinking every night and following the same pattern, My sleep is already improved and I've been back to the gym for the first time in over a year. Will be checking in to keep myself accountable

About the millionth day 6 for me, and from memory and looking at my previous posts on here I always start to feel better when I get to this stage, then go and ruin it all by drinking again!
NOT THIS TIME!!! I want to build on it and see just how good it can get!
At the moment even when I haven't had enough sleep I still feel better in the morning, the quality must be better.

I've been having a hot chocolate or Horlicks if I want a warm drink in the evening. I'm sure Horlicks used to taste nicer - have they changed it, or am I just remembering what it tastes like with Baileys in it?

@BulldogMumma welcome, you got this! Just remember when you start feeling better it doesn't mean you will now be OK to have a wine again! I am trying to tell myself the same thing!

@Hohofortherobbers that is normally how it goes here too, one event just gives me an excuse to say "sod it, might as well drink every night seeing as I'm drinking anyway". Good luck with the 3 days!

Morning all! I'm back into the AF race. Been good since I came back home and my blissful sleep has also come back with me. Bloat has gone down and skin wise, well, it's getting better. But the sort of glow of being long time AF hasn't returned. Yet. I'm on a skin hydrating mission. Inside and out. Note to myself: even a few drinks can wreck havoc on sleep and body.

I'm back into good drinking habits but I'm still a terrible nibbler early evening, when I would normally start drinking, it's an effort to have an AF drink, hot or cold, or have my evening meal a bit earlier, to keep my hands off anything nibble worth. I've stopped buying cheese. Much too tempting.

Welcome @BulldogMumma and @JazzieC, keep posting because your ups and downs help us all. I'm on an up trip at the moment, but could fall off the wagon at any time.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart if I had put a euro into a pot every time I did Day 1 again, I'd have the beginning of a nice holiday fund started. Well done on the hot drinks. I love a nice Horlicks, fortunately never thought of putting Baileys into it.

@BulldogMumma I lost my dad to drink and my ex also had his life really shortened by his excessive drinking and smoking. Don't want to drag my kids and grandkids through that too early. Also don't want them remembering me only with a glass of tipple in my hand.

@Hohofortherobbers sending you strength and positive vibes to resist evening temptation.

Lots of positive vibes to all, even with the shorter daylight and longer evenings. Stay strong.

Morning all. Good to hear everyone’s efforts!

I’ve nailed the no weekday/wine alone thing, long may it continue. I’m quite pleased as this has been my default setting for pretty much 30 years.

I also try to eat earlier as I think it was partly being hungry that made drink so appealing. I now need to work on skipping any drink which is just a habit.

I did some hypnotherapy online a while back and I think that might have finally kicked in!

good luck everyone

Evening all.
I'm on day 5 which means I'm feeling less sluggish, more alert and just generally feeling better so of course the wine witch is whispering in my ear that a wine tonight won't hurt. I won't have one but tonight's the first night of getting twitchy.
I've walked my dogs, currently making the kids tea then will make myself a nice hot chocolate and remind myself how glad I'll feel in the morning for not drinking x

1 month 9 days, although the last couple of evenings I have thought more about having a drink (haven't succumbed) but I think it might be to do with feeling a bit bored, the mind starts to wander etc.
I have my first real test at the weekend a birthday do...I already know I don't want to have a drink, I just have to stick to it!

Condolences to you who have lost loved ones to drink

Can you drive to the party to give extra strength to be AF?

I'm here day 3, sleeping well, feeling calmer....ready to throw the towel in again tomorrow, but thinking more about aiming for a long AF stretch. Could do with a month off at least to reset myself

Hey all, well done for your AF days and months! Definitely worth it for the better sleep and clearer heads.

I did Sober October (well, had a small mulled wine on the evening of 31st October but am still proud of myself). Then went away on the weekend and really enjoyed some wine with friends, but stuck to my new rule of only getting tipsy. Shared a bottle of red with dh Sunday night which is an old habit and not sure one we want to get rid of tbh. I think I'd rather not drink Friday and Saturday then have half a bottle of red Sunday tbh.

@Hohofortherobbers are you going to try a month off? I wish I could do December but not sure I have the willpower...

How are we all doing? I really struggled earlier this evening. Actually picked up a bottle of white as well as red with the food shopping today and it took soooo much willpower not to drink some white with dinner. Had to remind myself how stimulating it would be, and that it would affect my sleep. I have two early mornings this weekend, along with active stuff with the kids. I didn't want a headache and to be snappy and tired, hence having a root beer instead (Bundaberg in a glass bottle, ice cold, lots of sugar...hit the spot).

Now to have a hot chocolate and an early night. Husband has gone out tonight and chosen not to drink, so feeling very proud of him for that.

Hey @ForeverTipsy
I've struggled tonight too, purely because it's Friday and Friday night usually consists of a bottle of wine, followed by a 5.30am get up for work on Saturday feeling sluggish and regretting the wine.
I argued with myself in my head that I've gone almost a week and deserve a treat but in the end I went to the gym, came home had food and a hot chocolate.
Happy to report I'm tucked up in bed wine free, I'm looking forward to getting up for work and not feel rubbish.
Well done on not giving in, we've got this 👏👏