On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

@cuttingback84 @Hohofortherobbers I will check both of those out thank you 😊

Hey, how are we all doing? Do you know what's good for abstinence? Norovirus...! Was so ill middle of last week and still not 100% now. Bit extreme tbh, wouldn't recommend 😉

Hope everyone has had a good weekend and is managing to stick to their pledges, whether that's one drink free day or cutting down or completely out.

Just popping on to say hi all, and congratulations on 2 months AF, @Nowstrong - that's fantastic.

Well done, I'm delighted for you 💕

Morning all! So, I broke the AF run, in a way. Had my children for lunch yesterday and had a glass of champagne, then had half a glass of red wine, which I didn't enjoy, so didn't finish it. Afterwards had no urge to continue drinking, so after clearing up the evening was a hot chocolate one. Which when I was drinking wouldn't have happened. I'd have continued the alcohol trip.

Caught up on my sleep, as have had a couple of late nights. Slept really well. I'm now able to sleep later in the morning if I'm missing a couple of hours sleep. Unheard of before. Always woke up early. However tired I was.

My analysis: I'm going to remain AF, with, perhaps, a glass from time to time, but only special occasions. I feel no need, at the moment, to have a drink. I think, I hope, that I've perhaps broken a habit. A very long one. Now won't have a drink until perhaps Xmas.

Will post here from time to time to share my experiences, if I have any to share, my inner thoughts and battles with regard to being and remaining AF.

Must admit had a couple of debates about being AF with friends in the UK. Who were all very surprised or puzzled. So asked what their reaction would be if I stopped smoking (I don't smoke) and they all said that they would be thrilled for me and would encourage me. Then the penny dropped slightly and they mostly agreed that the drinking culture in the UK is huge.

My sister didn't understand my need to stop. Never really realised how much she drinks, and it did shock me in a way, but then I used to chuck just as much down my throat. Not judging, but now realising how much is actually being downed in an evening. As I was on tonic water, I just couldn't drink as much as was not thirsty and my bladder was stretched to explosive limits. Lost count of my visits to the loo at night.

Here people do drink, a lot, but a lot of people don't, especially women. Which does cause a lot a women to hide their drink problems. So me not drinking here doesn't really matter. None of my friends have noticed or if they have, have not mentioned it.

Will catch up on the thread later. Off to catch up on the housework. Sending lots of positive vibes. Stay strong and believe in yourselves. Love yourselves.

Hi - sorry I never answered you. Yes, he was a heavy drinker.

Good morning all, just catching up. I was wondering how @Amdone123 is doing? Haven’t heard from you in a while. I am the poster previously known as @Bigbus but I messed up my user name when I commented on the new thread!

Hi all. 👋 checking in early for another 3 AF days tues, Wed, Thurs.
Thought I'd tag @helterskelter78 from the AMA thread in case she'd like to pop in here.

In case tag was wrong @HelterSkelter78

Hello everyone! It's just over 8 months since I did my medical detox week. It's been great - I didn't lose the weight I'd hoped for giing up booze but otherwise everything has been so much better than I thought.

At the beginning I mentioned something I'd read that really struck me, and I still find it true:

"Alcoholism is giving up everything for that one thing. Sobriety is giving up that one thing to get everything."

Morning everyone , haven’t posted in ages? Been reading everyone’s posts back. Sadly I seem to have gone back to square 1. It’s now 8 weeks tomorrow since the break up, thought I was starting to get better but this week feels worse than ever. Back to drinking every day again , having the occasional af day here and there . It affects my moods terrible , couldn’t stop crying yesterday , this and fact I never took anti depressants for 5 whole days didn’t help. Now back on meds and will refuse to buy drink tonight. I know what it’s doing to me so why the hell do I do it to myself?? Sorry for not posting lately , life’s been so so tough lately

May I join? I was on a bottle or more of wine a night for years until the middle of September, when I decided to quit weekday wine. I allow myself a couple of spirits with mixer if I really want a drink. It’s going well and has led to more moderate drinking even when I do have wine. My reasons for cutting down are:

1. seen a lot of the consequences of excessive drinking, in my family and at work and wanted to break that cycle
2. I wanted to quit habitual drinking that isn’t even enjoyable!
3. I wanted to drop pounds and look better, I’m mid fifties now

Checking in, AF night number 2.

Hello @Jbob1976 I've been wondering how you've been getting on. Sorry you've had a bit of a setback, nothing that you can't work on. It was never going to be easy with such a major life trauma happening. Hang on in there.

Welcome @BannedWagon - sounds like you're doing a brilliant job of being aware of your drinking and moderating now. Your reasons are similar to mine. Want to break that family cycle.

@Hohofortherobbers how are you finding your AF nights?

Well I'm on day 23 of zero alcohol. Last week was easy because I had a horrendous vomiting bug. But tonight I actually craved a glass of rose or couple of cans of Cider. Not bad considering how long I've gone without. Was good and just kept busy and enjoyed a hot chocolate just now. Roll on 1st November tho! It's good seeing my progress on the Drink Aware App. I think I'll set a limit of 10 units a week, but if I do less then great. Obviously this won't apply when I'm on holiday!

@HappyAsAGrig I love that quote you wrote , it's so true. And I never lose weight when I go sober...so annoying! It's probably because I compensate with sweets and chocolate 😬 Oh well, our livers are definitely healthier, and brain cells not depleting as rapidly.

Love my AF nights, I feel calmer, I'm better with the kids, I sleep better. I am eating loads though. Seem to be ravenous if not drinking. I have done dry Jan for the last few years , sometimes I really wonder why I don't just go teetotal. I am so clearly better off not drinking

Hi everyone, I'm coming to the end of my abstinence as I'm away on holiday with friends on Saturday. I'm actually not looking forward to having a drink but I know that I won't be able to cope being sober around everyone tipsy. Also my best friend was pregnant on our last holiday so we've been looking forward to having a good drink together for ages.

I do intend on jumping straight back on the wagon when we're back though and I'm definitely going to continue not drinking in the house and only having a drink on an occasion.

DH has still been having a drink on the weekends and I just watch him and think what's the point. Quite proud of myself actually.

Well done to everyone staying strong so far and to everyone who's had a little blip I honestly think things like this are easier to manage when you don't say never again. Let yourself have that blip and then jump straight back on the wagon.

Hey everyone, how's it going?

@MammaGnomes did you enjoy a few drinks away with your bestie this weekend?

I've been full of PMT rage and gasping for a glass of wine to take the edge off the tension! Proud of DH tho as apart from the one bender a couple of weekends ago, he's managed to stay dry with me. He even acknowledged last night that if he'd had a few drinks the night before, he would have been more grumpy and irritable on our family day out. I thought that was good of him to have that awareness.

I've definitely remembered that going sober isn't a secret recipe for amazing sleep. I still very much have to practice all the other good sleep hygiene tips, like going to bed and waking up at roughly the same time and avoiding caffeine after 4pm (not that I drink coffee anyway).

So, 27 days straight for me. Most I've done this year. Roll on Friday night tho!

Right I am back! We have been away for a few days and then came back to lots of social stuff. I had just got down to my target weight of 9st 12lbs the morning we went away and have just weighed in at 10st 3.4lbs so not the best result. I have finally come to the conclusion that I cannot be at the weight I want if I carry on drinking and then having supper - it has taken me a long time to acknowledge that.
I have also realised that it is only that first glass which I really enjoy and that I never stop at one glass of wine.
So no wine during the week - may have a G&T or scotch but definitely no wine.

Have a great week everyone😁

Thank you, @ForeverTipsy yes family history is the thing. Don’t want that life/death

@FiveShelties that’s my game- staying off the habitual, quaffable wine

I haven't been doing well at all. Went on an AI holiday and since I got back, I've been having half a bottle of red and a couple of beers a night! And now the dark nights are back I'm going to find it harder to abstain.

Just had a look at the "when your doctor asks you how much you drink" thread. Oh my word, how depressing. No one drinks as much as me.

Hi @YoghurtPotWashingMachine you aren’t alone, the best I’m managing is 2 af days a week at mo and that’s hard. Just when I think I’m getting better after break up and fall back and when I do I do what I do best drink and the downers get worse. I get so much time on my own so there’s no one telling me no! Don’t be hard on yourself , here with you

This came up on my I Am Sober app recently and I think it's so true. Just keep doing your 2 days AF @Jbob1976 . Maybe one day it'll be 3 days. It's still better than zero. Progress over perfection.

Hi everyone, I've been doing generally shit at moderating. I can go a few days and feel great- but then I'll have one and want another and another and another.....

I am seriously thinking of abstaining for the whole of November. NOvember! Then seeing how I feel after that to decide what to do going forward.

The thing is- I really like drinking! But really don't like how it makes me feel the next day and in general. Maybe I need longer to try and let that sink in - that the drink is a short term solution that causes a longer term problem!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart that's exactly what I was doing and how I felt over the summer. Couldn't just have one, it would lead to 2, 3 or 4 drinks each time. Feel crap. Wait a few days, feel better...rinse and repeat.

I can honestly stay going cold turkey and doing Sober October was the best thing for me. Knowing I can't have one helps me. Proud that I've done 30 consecutive days now, and DH and I were saying earlier how we've (generally) stopped missing it and craving it now. He's off work this week and that would normally be his excuse to drink every night, but he's not had a single one.

Best of luck with NOvember...you can do it!

1 month and one day without a drink!
Does any one have any suggestions for a nicer than normal drink for when they go out or if it's a special occasion? I want to avoid non alcoholic wine and beers I'm sure they're great for some but not for me, if I have one I'll just want the real thing i think!
For the most part when I'm out for something I can avoid drinking for example a lunch out etc but as its getting nearer to Christmas I'm concerned I'll have one and that will undo everything I've been working on. I'm not sure if I am going to be 100% AF in the future but it seems like tempting fate to drink anything for a while.