On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

@Nowstrong That's interesting. My initial thought was to just cut down my drinking but it just didn't work. Now I'm on Day 11 AF and sometimes wonder how I'll manage on holidays, at social events etc. My fear is that I'll feel reckless, say 'Oh, go on then - just one' and then before I know it I'll be back to drinking every day. When you've had a drink, did you find it easy to stop? (When I first tried to give up smoking after 20 a day for about 30 years, I was fine without for months. Then I had one - out of curiosity - and I was immediately back on them again. I've not smoked for over 15 years now. Wish I had all the money I wasted on them!)

@LillyPJ I also started by moderating, or trying to. Didn't work, so I went AF for a few months. Since then it's been like a switch has been flicked. My now go to drinks when out, visiting, are AF. I travel quite a bit alone and my rule now is always stay AF.
I no longer feel the need to explain or answer questions. Just say that I don't fancy drinking any alcohol. My life, my choice. Sometimes I do have a drink. But now manage to control that as one drink and not roll into several. If I'm feeling fragile, as we all do sometimes, I now recognise that as a no alcohol signal. If I'm feeling low or upset, I will have a comforting hot drink. Or eat something that I like. Which doesn't do marvels for the weight, but is always better than having a few "comforting" drinks and then feeling all the worse for it. But that is just me. You have to find what's best for you.
As for the economical side to it all, I sometimes put a bit of the money that I was drinking into my holiday pot. Always adds up...
Take care and stay strong. X

During dry Jan I found if I got past my ‘trigger moment’ it was quite easy (about 5 or 6pm for me). I have been compensating with chocolate though and need to lose weight, so am trying to reduce the lattes I have- similarly, if I get past the moment for that first one, I can just have one later on and not three over the morning. It’s a constant sense of limiting myself at the moment but I’m hoping that will pass; I am already noticing a greater sense of well-being in my body from eating a bit less as well as less booze.

@AlertCat Yes - 6pm is my trigger moment. If I can get past that, it's time to prepare dinner ( I cook from scratch so it can take some time) and once dinner's over, I rarely think about drinking. I've yet to test myself by going to a pub but now I've found some AF drinks I love, I'll feel more confident there. Even after just 10 days, I feel calmer and less anxious and looking forward to the future.

Exactly, Lilly, I cba most evenings once the dinner is done. Even if I went out I probably wouldn’t be bothered! And that’s new for me.

Hey everyone, loving the updates, support and inspiration.

I'm still moderating. I think. Still logging. Enjoyed a couple of proseccos with DH at home (only 10.5% so not too bad) on Friday night, and still have some in the bottle (have one of those pressurised stopper gadgets that keeps the fizz). Really wanted to finish it on Saturday night but didn't want the inevitable headache on Sunday as had a long family day out planned. Had such a fab day, so Sunday me was grateful for sensible Saturday night me.

I think I'm lucky in that I don't tend to reach for a drink when I'm sad/low. However, there are lots of fun, special, celebratory events this summer and I definitely do drink more then. I think I want to carry on the happy feelings, so reach for alcohol to continue the buzz.

After listening to a friend who was talking about a loved one's journey to sobriety (not just from drink), I have decided to adopt the more positive language of telling myself I am "choosing to take a break from sobriety" rather than the more negative "fallen off the wagon". I am contemplating doing six months from Sept - March, as think I'll find it easier then, esp as I'm a seasoned Sober October and Dry Jan participant. Will just have to navigate my first-ever, minus pregnancies, Dry Christmas. But with the vast array of AF drinks on the market now, I think it'll be easier than ever.

@ForeverTipsy I am similar in that I don't really drink if sad or down - drinking to me is all about happy times and social activities and i have lots of those over the next few months!

Day 87 today and I have really ramped up reading lots of quit lit, including blogs and social media channels. I am finding it really helpful in understanding why I drink the way I do and why, for me, moderation is so hard

When I started on this journey the thought of never drinking again filled me with absolute panic but now thats died down and I can actually imagine a sober future (mostly!)

I said before I was thinking about aiming for 6 months after I hit 100 days but I am leaning more towards 12 months at the moment- that means I will have done all the big things sober - holidays, parties, Christmas, birthdays etc
And if I decide at that point I want to go back to drinking I can, it's not going anywhere
But at least I will have experienced everything and can make an informed decision

@HorrorFan81 Well done to get so far! 100 days looks like an eternity from here but I'm looking forward to getting there if I can. At the moment I'm wondering why I would ever go back - mainly because I'm worried that if I start again, it might be even harder to stop. But I just need to focus on NOW at the moment and try not to worry too much about what might happen later on

@LillyPJ you are doing great! And yes, one day at a time is all you need to concentrate on right now. I definitely felt around the 4/5 week mark a switch got flipped and I felt so much better about not drinking.

Echo this- I could have easily carried on dry January- until I started again! It’s a bit of a two-way tug for me. Wanting to stop and be a non-drinker, while also wanting to drink!

Oh god I feel this. I soo want to drink. But to drink like a 'normal' drinker ' ie have a glass or two of wine then not need any more. The more i read tho the more i realise that might not be realistic for me so I may not have a choice other than to be completely abstinent. I'm not making that decision at the moment tho. Aiming to get to 100 days (less than 2 weeks!), seeing how I feel then considering 6 months. I havent made any big announcements or declarations to people in my life so I don't owe anyone anything but it's definitely becoming clearer to me the reality of my future. But thats feeling less and less scary

Sounds familiar to me! I'm just taking it poco a poco, little by little. I'm gradually coming to terms that I might just be going sober sober.
I have come out as long term sober (aka someone who is not so much 'taking a break' as 'I'm probably not able to drink, at all') to a handful of people, if it came up, but I'm still not broadcasting it to all and sundry.
I think a turning point was thinking "would I rather be sober or drinking like I used to?". It's not a difficult question, obviously I'd take sober.
And if that's really how it is, then it do be like that!

@HorrorFan81 can you please link to any blogs or SM accounts you're finding helpful please? I follow Sober Girl Society, soberflourish, thesoberwomenproject etc on Insta but always looking for inspirational content.

@AlertCat yep, I want to be sober but enjoy drinking a couple of times a week, too ! 🤣

Was just thinking that my 100 days = almost 3.5 months. So 6 months = 1.5 more on top. I reckon that's achievable. Not right now tho, I've just cracked open my birthday Baileys !

@ForeverTipsy
I am liking

Veronica Valli on insta
Sober Powered podcast and insta

Tired of Thinkng about Drinking blog and daily emails

I am also reading The Truth about Alcohol which is v eye opening. Enjoyed 99% sober too. Dipping in and out of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and think i will try This Naked Mind next

Hi I am hoping it’s ok for me to join this thread. I have known for ages that my drinking is out of control and I could really do with some support. I’m really unhappy with myself right now.

Welcome @BabetteAteOatmeal

Fairly sure everyone on this thread has felt the same way you do right now - I know I definitely did. Everyone is different but what helped for me was to set short terms goals - i started out deciding I was taking a break for 3 weeks. At the end of that I was feeling really good so decided to extend to 5 weeks. Now I am nearly at 100 days and honestly feel so different about Alcohol now.

Ive also spent ALOT of time reading quit lit, blogs, listening to podcasts etc, that have really helped frame my thinking

Thank you Horror Fan. Have been reading the thread and got lots of podcasts etc to follow up

Morning all.

everyone is doing so well - I love all the positivity.

day 117 here and my latest bloods show ALT reduced from 29 to 16! Wow - am feeling happy to have a happy liver!

out last night to a great place on the ocean on our first hot and sunny day - really wanted an apricot cider but had a club soda and it was delicious. Only missed the cider for 1 minute. Small wins …. And I will not drink today!

Hello @BabetteAteOatmeal I'm on Day 15 and agree with @HorrorFan81 that setting lots of short term goals is really helpful - number of days, units saved, weeks, pounds saved etc. I'm trying to make sure the next goal is never too far away and it's worked so far (fingers crossed!) Good luck.

Thank you Lilly. I have found this thread really inspiring. Starting with a target of today and taking it from here.

I am 3 months AF today!

Went to the pub last night, had a couple of AF G&Ts and had a lovely evening catching up with friends. Got home, had a cup of tea and chat with DH. Good night's sleep. Felt bright today, lots of walking and gym and going to cinema tonight

If I'd been drinking, I would have had at least 2 pre drinks whilst getting ready. 4+ doubles in the pub. Cracked open wine when I got home. Passed out at 2am. Felt like shit all day. But then probably have started drinking again once I finished work. Drank again all evening. Another late night and crap sleep

I honestly feel so free from it all at the moment and can't believe the different in my thought process from 3 months ago

@BabetteAteOatmeal welcome

Start with today, (and tomorrow will take care of itself)

Congratulations @HorrorFan81 ! That sounds brilliant - and worth aiming for. It's amazing when you realise how much we missed out on and how much time we wasted just drinking.

@HorrorFan81 a huge well done! Onwards and upwards ….

its great to make such a huge and positive change - I know I expected to be miserable sober, but the exact opposite is true.

@LillyPJ the lost time is amazing! I have SO much more time now, both for fun stuff and for getting round to things that have been sitting there for months or longer. Also much more energy for everything. Just about to go into a pilates class after a 45 minute walk. Previously I would still have been in bed, feeling horrific and trying to remember how I got to bed