On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

@HorrorFan81 Thanks so much! I like the sliding doors idea. I know I'd have had a bad night's sleep and would have felt on edge this morning if I'd had a drink. As it is, I slept well and we've just had a nice, relaxed breakfast. I'm grateful for the AF beers etc - really helps and,as you say, after the first few sips you sort of forget you're not drinking because other things are more important or interesting and you're not always thinking about getting on to the next drink! Day 8 today. I'm aiming for the two weeks mark now. Glad to hear you're doing so well

Anyone else struggle with the sulks? I’m dieting at the moment and know that wine is counterproductive, but when I’m avoiding chocolate, crisps, and big portions I feel like I want something nice as a treat and a reward. Feels like I am having to give up all my favourite things! So I feel sulky, which I know is counterproductive, but there we are. Have you found a way around that?

My way round it is to really load my plate up with all sorts of vegetables and just small amounts of protein and carbs . I make huge salads and my own coleslaw too, so I can have two big helpings and feel really full up - and still lose weight. I also treat myself to fruit, pineapples, melon, grapes etc - the more expensive ones are often much tastier so feel more like a treat.

I do similar to @AlertCat - lots of and lots of veggies and some nice fruits. I also make sure I am allowing some 'treat' food within my calorie allowance- you dont need to cut out absolutely everything, it needs to be sustainable.

Also it can be difficult to focus on too much at once so it might be worth you relaxing on the calorie stuff for a few weeks if its making it difficult not to drink. Focus on the drinking first and once thats more of a habit, then look at overall diet etc

I kind of did it the other way round- i lost a significant amount of weight whilst still drinking (although I did cut down alot) and now I have stopped drinking (at least for now) and am at goal weight so in maintainance, I can allow myself some chocolate etc without guilt

Good ideas. I maybe need to allow a day a week to enjoy things!

Has anyone tried the lower-alcohol wines? Bread and Butter Chardonnay and the 19Crimes Chardonnay are both available in a 9% wine- has anyone tasted either of them?

All the low alcohol wines I've tried have been awful! But I tried a bottle of Friexenet 0.0% and loved that even though I didn't usually drink sparkling wine. It tastes really good and it's only £4 in Tesco and Sainsburys at the moment.

Agreed about the 0% Freixenet @LillyPJ and also the Kylie one is surprisingly nice. But during dry January I ended up just not bothering on a weekend, preferring tea (🤣)

but 9% isn’t that low- closer to normal Prosecco strength- so I wonder if the flavours and “mouthfeel” (horrible word!) provided by the alcohol would still be present? After all, when I started drinking, wine was 9-11% and now it’s common to see 13.5% even in white wine. That’s almost Martini or sherry/port strength, so called fortified wines, and I’m sure it’s part of the problem with drinking- makes it more potent, harmful, and delicious!

@AlertCat Yes - it's the mouth feel that's different I think. I've mentioned it before but the Martini Floreale with tonic and ice is my favourite AF so far. I think fizz and cold disguise the lack of 'feel'. I wouldn't bother with a 9% wine - I think it would be just lure me into drinking even more wine.

@LillyPJ i think you’re at day 9 today - tomorrow is huge - double digits and almost at 2 weeks! I found setting multiple goals and congratulating myself essential to success. Nobody else really seemed that bothered although ALL of my friends have commented that they’d love to give up!

I also used to follow people who were way ahead of me and just wish that I was them or that I was that far along in my quit. And now here I am - nearly at 4 months and aiming for 6 months next. As I read on here, you will never regret not drinking and also that of you give up this one thing, you can have so many better things instead (not the right wording but this was the gist).

so a lot of waffling, when I’m just trying to say congrats on day 9 and keep on it ….

@Seenoevil33 Thanks once again. Yes, it is Day 9 today. (I wish I'd started on the 1st of the month to make counting simpler!) I'm setting goals, reading blogs, watching podcasts, ordering books, updating my TryDry app and - of course - looking on here. Today has seemed endless and I've struggled to fill the time. The thought of wine was crossed my mind several times but I've resisted and if I get through tomorrow I'll have reached my second goal. Sundays are my walking day so at least I won't be battling my thoughts all day. And I look forward to this getting easier - you've done amazingly well!

@Seenoevil33 Because I mainly drank at home alone, none of my friends knew how much or how often I drank. Now I don't feel I can tell them I'm giving it up because that's admitting to them it was a problem. I'm sure they'd be supportive but if they comment on my ordering soft drinks instead of my usual, I'll just dismiss it as no big deal. Like you said, it's not that important to them anyway so they won't know how hard it is to give it up.

Hey all. Hope everyone is enjoying the glorious weather ☀️
I've been at our village pub this afternoon/evening & drove. Had a few alcohol free ciders & feeling really happy I chose not to drink. Thought you guys would get it! 🙂

I opened a bottle of wine on Friday and there’s still a glass left- and not because I’ve been having other alcohol. Does that count as moderate? It’s about 10 units in the bottle. I’ll drink the last glass later today.

This is great to hear!

I think thats v impressive and I'd class that as moderating. Good work 👏

Great work! Always challenging in those kind of situations

I reached 12 weeks / 84 days today! My 100 days is up on bank holiday Monday in a few weeks but currently have no desire to have a drink so will see how I feel once I reach that milestone

That’s awesome. Are you finding it easier with time?

@HorrorFan81I'd said I may have a drink later on but just wasn't feeling it. Didn't miss it to be honest. And then inevitably someone kicked off later & I was glad to be sober! And not wasted today feeling awful & anxious. 🙂

I really am. Ive taken the time to do so much reading, listening and journalling. Ive examined my drinking habits and realised how much of my energy was being taken up with drinking, or thinking about drinking, or recovering from drinking. And my tendency to blackout was getting more frequent. I could go days or weeks without drinking so convinced myself it wasnt too much of a problem but I'm a classic binge drinker and once I have one, its almost impossible to stop. The first month or so without drinking was tough, especially when I went out to the pub etc but the more ive done it, the more I realise how possible it is to live like this. I feel so mucn better in myself and haven't had to deal with the hangxiety of pancking about what I did last night. And zero hangovers is wonderful 😄

I think thats a really good way to do it - don't tell yourself you absolutely can't have one, just see how you feel later. And for me, once I get into the swing of things it doesn't bother me at all not to drink

And yes, spending the weekend feeling fresh and energetic is SO much better than the hungover alternative

@AlertCat that definitely counts as moderating to me. I guess I try to remember that I’m an adult and can choose the way that works for me. What you are doing seems to be working for you! So still a big achievement.

@ERN79 well done and I’m with you on feeling fresh and ready to go.

@HorrorFan81 12 weeks is great. I struggled after 100 days - didn’t really know what goal to have next. Decided to aim for 6 months and see how I feel.

@Nowstrong hope you’re still dropping in and living life to the full!

Still cold here unfortunately but having a bbq for tea and I will not drink today.

Pleased to report I've completed Day 10! I had a great day out walking. I'd usually get home, have a cup of tea and a shower, then crack open the wine at 6... But today after the shower, I pottered in the garden, sorted through photos on my phone and suddenly realised it was almost 7. I opened a bottle of AF beer and that lasted all through dinner. (I used to top up my wine glass 2 or 3 times before I'd finished eating.) While I was walking, I worked out that I'd saved about 60 units by not drinking for 10 days. I was drinking at least 6 units a day, i.e. 42 a week. I was shocked by how much I'd lied in the past! At one medical appointment I filled in a form which asked how many units I drank in a week. As a guide it said one glass of wine was one unit! I knew that wasn't right but thought, well - 2 glasses a night is 14 in a week - so I wrote down 14 units (a third of the real amount). When the guidance was 28 units a week and the same question arose, I'd always pretend I was working it out and come up with a number just short of that, like 26. Even my best friend assumed I had 2 or 3 nights off every week and I never corrected her. I lied to myself too. I thought I was spending about half as much on wine as I actually was. My next target is to reach 15 days. I once had to abstain for 2 weeks while I was on antibiotics so 15 days will be my new personal best in living memory.

Morning all! @Seenoevil33 still going strong. Have had a couple of glasses from time to time. Mostly at family meals, when we are all together, which doesn't happen that often as we all have our lives. No more than 2. Totally enjoyed and appreciated.
Otherwise I'm an AF gal!

I do pop back to read this thread regularly, am impressed by everyones' efforts. Keep on going. Don't be disheartened by any slip ups, the road isn't smooth and is full of ups and downs. I have and have had many myself. Just keep on wanting to be AF or moderating.

What we all want really is taking back the control that we lose to alcohol use. To no longer feel embarrassed, or worried, about what we said or did under it's influence. Plus to get our health back on track, either for ourselves or for our loved ones, to have a good influence on our DCs and DGCs.

I'll stop waffling now... got some housework, and more importantly, my exercises, to do.

Wishing you all a lovely Monday, here weather is stormy, wet and chilly, flipping awful. Can't wait for summer to settle in, or to bugger off go to find it. Love yourselves and stay strong.

@Seenoevil33 I've been thinking about aiming for 6 months next. That would see me through summer and I know that moderating over summer would be super tough and abstaining much easier

@LillyPJ you are doing amazingly! I also used to lie about how much I drank. I didn't drink every day, more like twice a week but could easily put away 20 units a session if not more. I would always say 14 🙈