On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Also, I was looking through mumsnet, I don't know if anyone remembered at Tiilly she was on here, briefly - she died - it was cancer,
So sad x

Hi all, just popping in to say hi.

Hope everyone is doing well.

I'm finding being AF is normalising for me now. Not sure how many days it's been -
I think around 75 or 80.

The joy of sleeping well and being mentally alert is still a thrill.

I'm trying to find new ways to be interesting within alcohol though. Don't think I've found any just yet but I'll keep trying.

@NextPhaseOfLife that's brilliant, you're doing so well. Honestly, you give me inspiration to keep trying. I'd love to be in your position and find it frustrating that the only barrier is myself.

Bad news, drank 1 bottle last night and in a Monday, unheard of. Good news, I've just poured the remaining bottle down the drain. Don't care how expensive it was.
Back to day 1 and I am determined to get at least 5 days under my belt.

I'm still trying to get out of this phase of drinking every night. I have a bottle of Sentia in the fridge, it's alcohol free but is meant to give you a pleasant wee buzz. I'm going to try it tonight and see how I get on.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine let us know. I've never heard of it.

Hello again, back in the land of the living now and glad yesterday is over with. We almost took my car and if we had then none of it would have happened because I wouldn't have even thought about having a drink.

I still can't remember most of my conversation with my PIL but it's safe to say I definitely over shared. I guess I'm sort of glad I can't remember but still mortified.

Got an event in 3 weeks which is a drinking one but also a dolling yourself up one. I'm overweight and I'm really determined to lose some weight before this event so I can look a bit better. Was doing slimming world but failing spectacularly at it so I'm now trying my fitness pal which is going better. Definitely up for 5 days AF with you @Amdone123 (and hopefully longer for me).

@Amdone123 I also can't have it in the house. If it's in the house it's all I can think about, and if it's in the house in and kind of volume that should last more than one night, I will move onto whatever it is after a bottle. I clearly cannot moderate so I don't know why I'm still having this inward battle!

Thank you, @Amdone123

I'm not complacent but it has got far easier.

What are you doing to break the habit?

In the first few weeks, AF beers were my evening treat/crutch.

I found I needed a new routine to break the old habit.

@NextPhaseOfLife well, I'm moderating I suppose because going totally af feels too daunting, but when I have af stints, I'm so much happier so I don't really understand why I go back to it.
I've cut down massively over the years so I'm proud of that and I can have af weekends and really enjoy them.
I've considered antabuse more than once, but then panic at the thought of never being able to drink. Which is stupid, because that's what I want.
I think a lot of it comes down to confidence. I don't feel confident in myself, that is, that I can do it. But.....the more af days I have, my confidence increases.
It's all very confusing sometimes.

It is really hard isn't it @Amdone123

For me, the many, many, (many) attempts at being AF finally morphed into a 'right, that's it, I'm ready now' moment.

It was the same with smoking about 25 years ago. I 'gave up' 100s of times before I finally actually did. I saw someone smoking outside the office in the freezing cold - a lady in her 50s - and I thought 'please don't let that still be me in 30 years' . I gave up that weekend and never touched one again.

I just didn't want to go back to day 1 ever again with smoking.

I feel the same way about drinking now.

I'm too old to get loud and pissed or be lolling on the sofa with a bottle of Prosecco at my feet. I saw myself in the metaphorical mirror and didn't like what I saw.

I failed to have an AF free last night. However I had one beer. I feel very well rested today, it's the first decent night's sleep I've had in ages.

@enoughisenough4 @Amdone123 Your posts really resonate with me. I can't moderate - certainly not with wine so why do I keep doing this to myself and thinking "this time it will be different"? I feel so much better when I don't drink. When I do manage not to, the next day feels like a treat. But then often I feel so good I want a drink! Make it make sense.

Will try to go AF again tonight. Hope everyone has a good day :)

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine I'm afraid I can't make it sense because I have no idea either 😅 on paper it seems totally irrational doesn't it and yet I drink multiple times a week 🤷‍♀️

1 beer isn't too bad at all! Do you think if it was wine you would have been able to stop at 1?

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine yes, agree with @enoughisenough4 1 beer isn't bad at all.

I don't even class beer as alcohol - sometimes I'll have a beer when there's no diet coke !
Yep - makes no sense to me either. I have a very good memory, I remember all sorts of stuff and yet, I'll have a few drinks, feel awful the next day, swear I'll never drink again, and yet, a few days later, I'm on it again.
I've tried writing down how rough I'm feeling in the hope of referring to it, but no, still go back on it.

Yesterday was day 1, I was so determined to have a few days af, and this morning, I still am. No roaming thoughts about how.... maybe, I could drink at weekend, it won't hurt, blah blah, but no, I'm feeling determined.
I'm sick of it, to be honest.

@enoughisenough4 If it was wine I would have found it very hard to stop at one - probably impossible. Sometimes if I am having a craving for wine I have a beer instead. It feels like the lesser of two evils because I'm able to stop.

@Amdone123 right there with you. Sick of it too! I've got a lot to do over the next few weeks and I'm really trying to lose weight so I'm planning on throwing myself into those two things and hopefully that'll help. Let's keep each other going. We've got this!!!

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine it's interesting isn't it. I wonder what it is about wine that makes it so much more addictive. Might take myself down a Google rabbit hole instead of writing this report ...

Haven't read all the responses yet as I will forget who I am responding to.

@enoughisenough4 don't worry, we've all done it and the next day regretting all the rubbish we talked. Me many times! But as one offs it's fine and sometimes you just need to let yourself go and then get back on the moderating again.

@Amdone123 I'm with you on the 5 days AF this week (hopefully!). Day 4 now and I definitely needed it. I drank 4 out of 7 days last week (one of them was unplanned) and was up til 1am Fri and Sat, so by Sunday was absolutely exhausted and didn't even want to touch a drink for the football. Felt much better for it! We were due to go to a friend's and drink but we stayed home. Both nights I had a really good time and didn't talk a load of rubbish (hooray) that made me cringe or have hangxiety next day. I was just a bit miserable from the tiredness on Sunday.

Next drink will be Friday to celebrate the start of the Summer hols, amongst other things, but I don't want to go over the top and get really drunk, so need to plan my coping mechanisms on pacing myself.

@NextPhaseOfLife wow congratulations, I would love to even go 2 weeks AF at a time, let alone what you have achieved. Well done!

@Flumpywoo thinking about and even writing down coping mechanisms always helps me. In fact, when I do that, I find I'm successful. If I don't think about how I'm approaching certain events, I go mad ( out of control, not insane).

It is interesting about wine - I can drink most other drinks - beer, spirits and they have no effect. Nor do they give me the initial buzz.
I'll have a Google too. I'm supposed to be working but hey ho 1🥴

@Amdone123 same. I'll have a gin or other spirit (i don't like beer) and after a couple I just get bored of it. But wine just feels like a treat doesn't it and after not drinking for so many days I feel like I deserve it/have earned it for being good! Luckily I don't think I could be someone that drinks it every day (apart from on holiday of course) as the treat element of it goes away and I think I'd start seeing it like a cup of tea lol. So I can see how people who drink daily (even one or two glasses) then start drinking more each day gradually, as it just normalises it and once you start you think oh I'll have another (like me last week!)

Morning, folks, day 3 today and feeling good.
I've decided I lie about alcohol. Got in from work last night, saw a lager in the fridge, drank it and really enjoyed it ! I could have carried on. Thank god I poured that wine away.
I think today will be fine but tomorrow tricky - I'm working extra hours and I know after it, I'll be feeling happy and accomplished so as per @Flumpywoo , I need a coping mechanism - and the main one is not to take my purse to work with me. Sorted.

Oh, and I did have to go to the supermarket yesterday (2, actually) - was a bit tempted in the 2nd one but did my usual sprint past it.

Well I can hear the wine witch calling my name already tonight. There are so many reasons not to drink tonight - I've got some work I should be doing, I've been doing well with easy healthy and keeping to my calorie aim etc but I can hear her chiming in.

DH isn't feeling too well so I doubt he'll suggest it tonight or even want any if I suggested it. I'm just going to make sure I don't say anything and turn my attention to something else 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Hope everyone else is doing well!

@enoughisenough4 hang on in there - you'll be glad tomorrow ❤️

@Amdone123 you are right, of course. I'm pleased to report I'm now sitting at my desk about to catch up on some admin with a reasonably healthy but sweet treat that still keeps me within plan for the day. Will definitely be glad tomorrow!

@enoughisenough4 hope you made it through the night.
Just a short post as I'm up and ready for the day. The joys of being on day 4.
I'm in work but I'm deliberately leaving all monies at home so I'm not tempted on this beautiful day.
☀

You can do it @Amdone123, you'll feel so much better in the morning and that you stayed strong.
I thought I was going to be tempted to drink last night because of the weather but I had my AF sparkling rose and an AF pear koppaberg and I felt like I'd had a drink in the garden, just with no hangover...bonus!