Night 1 - done

[NoWayProvenceRose]

Hi!

Ive always been an avid drinker since turning 18. I gave up for pregnancy, but aside from that, it’s fair to say, I’ve been a committed boozer (and a good one!) and on the surface I manage a senior full time job and being a diligent parent. Don’t get me wrong there have been blips along the way!

Since Covid, it’s got out of control. I’m drinking every night. Sometimes two bottles of wine which is shocking. In general I pass out and drag myself up each morning to the laptop. My weight is out of control (I’ve put on 3 stone since covid and I wasn’t able exactly the slimmest before then). I dread to think of the damage I’ve done to my body, which is begging to show discomfort and niggly pains in what is my liver/pancreas. And let’s not talk about facial redness or the waste of money - a round at the pub for my husband and I is over £20 and we go most nights for a few and then continue drinking at home whilst preparing a meal for the family.

So I had a heart to heart with the husband (who I guess is my drinking buddy as well as husband) and we are giving it up. We have had many attempts at cutting down, only drinking certain days, only drinking when we go out (that brought around a great social life 😜), but all have failed.

So yesterday, I armed the household with high strength vitamins, soft drinks and a couple of new books.

Im not sure whether it was silly to go cold turkey, but the idea of drinking another day when I had made a resolve to quit felt wrong. It took me about an hour to fall asleep, I then got 4 hours kip, changed a very wet and sodden sheet and then went back to sleep for another 4. So first night done! Haven’t had a drink in 41 hours. I feel surprisingly ok. Going to take a long walk and maybe go for a swim.

I guess I’m excited but also scared for the road ahead. I know what I’m like. I can see myself in 2 weeks time telling myself; you managed to not drink, you have reset yourself, your future can be more moderate. But I know it can’t.

Id love some support and coping mechanisms to ensure success. I want to see my children grow up, I want to be a good role model and I want to take unmedicated joy in the life I have!

thanks for reading :)

So it’s day number 5, I’m feeling good, although I wake up every morning and take myself off to the mirror hoping to wake up and be transformed back to the skin of my 20’s. I think I have to be realistic and be aiming for a less blotchy and more even skin tone 😝

Last night when the sun was shining was a bit tricky as it would have been so easy to pop to a beer garden, however we had a family BBQ which was lovely and a glass of kombucha so it soon passed.

i hope everyone is keeping well and being successful!

@NoWayProvenceRose well done, I’m definitely finding it harder with the nice weather but trying not to cave in. Day 16 for me.

@strugglinguphill 16 days is now 17! Well done!

I am enjoying myself (yup!) lots of walking and have even been to the pub for a non alcoholic beer which was nice to sit in sunshine and proves that alcohol isn’t needed.

In order to make the first few days easy, I have been indulgent with more naughty treats than required, so my next step is to get a diet on track. I don’t want to do this too soon and veer off track. Has anyone gone a diet soon after quitting and been succesful or do you think weight loss will happen naturally and I’m being a bit all or nothing (story of my life!)

cheers

@NoWayProvenceRose its been such lovely weather, ideal for a trip to the pub! I’ve been on the pg tips all day, really need to find a low cal non alcoholic decent drink!

so this morning when I woke up I decided I would start my diet ( I have lots to loose!) and went for a run. I’ve downloaded the couch to 5k, it’s really good. I’ve done it before and got up to running 10k many years ago!!

@strugglinguphill ah good on you for getting the app downloaded! How was the run? I hope you were in the shade…it was boiling hot where I am :)

Ive been on the no1 raspberry kombucha which is delish.

also tried some fresh coconut milk.

I am tempted to try the non alcoholic gin, but I can’t quite bring myself to pay the price for a bottle 😂

I hope your diet goes well, that my next thing to tackle.

enjoy the sunshine ☀️

Well done everyone. I did this 8 years ago. I know I can never drink again. Best thing i ever did .

@NoWayProvenceRose i went out super early, I didn’t want to risk being seen attempting to run lol I didn’t over enjoy doing it, but felt good after. I’ve probably got 30kgs to loose to get back to pre baby weight!! Having some good tunes on helps with motivation.

that sounds lovely, I’m going to add that to the shop next week.

go on….treat yourself! You’re doing awesome!!

I found avoiding situations where I would want a drink eg I couldn't go to a pub and have a soft drink. Worked for me. Basically distractions, and being busy at crunch times. Repeat daily until it gets slightly easier then keep repeating. Its hard.

@strugglinguphill well done! I’m in a similar position to you weight wise, maybe a little more to go if I’m honest. Well done on getting out there. I have my first gym class today at 1.45.

The husband arrived back from the supermarket with some non alcoholic gin. That was quite pleasant, but I wouldn’t want it all the time. There’s a lot to be said for a cup of tea.

@Rollerbird I sort of agree with you; but I didn’t want to feel down in the dumps by not being able to see some friends in the sunshine, so decided to try and normalise having a soft drink in the pub. Ask me if I feel the same in a few weeks when I might be finding this a bit harder and I think you might get a different answer from me!

I’ve found the holy grail of non alcoholic drinks whilst hosting a bbq in the sunshine…:

tanquery zero.
copious amounts of ice
Mediterranean fever tree
slice of orange
some strawberries
blueberries
raspberries
cucumber.

it’s like pimms! I even tried one with diet lemonade instead. Banging.

enjoy the weekend all!

That sounds lovely, @NoWayProvenceRose

Will definitely give that a try.

I'm still really enjoying taste-testing AF beers (Staropramen sp?) is my favourite so far, but the more options, the better 🥳

@NoWayProvenceRose that af drink sounds lovely. I was going to suggest tesco af gin n tonics ( in tins), but yours sounds better.
Keep going, you're doing great.
( Kopperberg af is very good, as is af perroni).

Regarding the healthy eating, for now, eat a bit of chocolate when you fancy - you'll be missing the sugar.
Even if you had a few treats, it's fewer calories than the alcohol / hangover rubbish food. You can tackle the weight at a later date.
I'd suggest one day at a time, stay positive, keep thinking about the benefits - short, medium, long term ( write a list ?).
Keep smiling ☺

@Amdone123 ooh wasn’t aware of alcohol free koopaberg. Interesting. I’ll check it out. Thankyou! I hope you have been enjoying the sunshine too :) I agree with you about sweet treats. I can feel my body reacting positively to the lack of alcohol so I’ll tackle the weight in a more structured way in a week or two. Have you been off the pop for a while? Any recommendations for continued success?

@NextPhaseOfLife , how are you? What has been your favourite benefit so far?

@strugglinguphill how are the muscles today? Ready for the next run?

my house has never looked so clean. Still lots to do, but I’m tackling it but my bit. I think the paint brush might come out in the late summer..

@NoWayProvenceRose 🤣, I hear you about the clean house. The amount we get done when not drinking / being hungover.
I've not given up totally. I moderate although I'm happiest when I'm not drinking if that makes sense.
So I'm on day 7 af today but I'm off to a very big family party. I know I'll drink, I know I'll be hungover tomorrow but I'm trying to lead a healthier life by moderating.
At one point I was drinking about 5 bottles a week, but through various initiatives ( being on a thread on here the best), I'm now on 1 bottle of wine a week.
Though I'm a work in progress. But very happy, overall !

Just remembered, you ( and your dh ) could log onto to Annie Grace 30 day experiment. It's free for first time users. It was a great springboard for me - daily chats, videos, a forum and it's great to countdown.
Also, get a no drinking app. People on here swear by them. They show you how much you save, too, which is a great benefit.
I don't use an app. I journal instead, but you can find what's best for you.

@NoWayProvenceRose achy! I decided to run 2 days in a row, I was feeling a bit wired so needed to get rid of some energy!! I’m very much all or nothing when I decide to start something!

how are you doing? Bet it’s nice having a clean house, I should do some cleaning but can’t find the motivation, especially with the nice weather as I’d rather be outside.

Hi @NoWayProvenceRose - I'm feeling really well.

In terms of benefits, it's early days, but i am having such a good time being sober 😎 and am really enjoying these things, in no particular order:

• Not having to take anti-acids, in particular before bed
• Going to bed knowing I'm going to have great sleep
• Face losing puffiness
• More interest in self-care like facials etc

Clarity of thought

• Living in the moment - not waiting for XYZ to finish so I can 'relax' and open the wine
• Not eating tonnes of pizza/pringles/snacks after the first half a bottle of wine has loosened the self control valve
• Being in control of where I go and when, because I can drive at any point

How about you?

@NextPhaseOfLife that is a compelling list!! I’m similar.

im enjoying going to sleep now and sleeping well and not waking up in the middle of the night with an endless thirst!

Any anxiety has disappeared which is interesting, because I didn’t necessarily recognise the feelings as anxiety at the time. I was a ball of anxiety. I feel super relaxed and more able to deal with whatever is thrown at me. I appreciate this sounds ridiculous after about two weeks of no booze.

I am loving how little money I’m spending..

I am starting the day each morning by cooking breakfast for my children who would ordinarily just fend for themselves and more often not bother with brekkie. Before 8am, breakfast is cooked, dishwasher unloaded, tea and coffee made and half an hour in bed relaxing reading before work!

I have improvements to my skin and I’m looking forward to seeing that continue.

I am more present and content.

I have found tanquery zero which I had previously thought was ridiculous for the price for essentially flavoured water, but it tastes pretty delish with Lidl tonic and a bucket load of fruit and ice.

and tonight I found the orange version!

@NoWayProvenceRose you are smashing this !
What brilliant progress you're making - so many positives.
It's so interesting what you say about anxiety. Very similar to me. I'm able to deal with pretty much when af, too - more positive. But over the years I've drank to relieve the anxiety, which of course, made it worse. It's a vicious circle.
Keep going !

How's everyone getting along?

Hey @strugglinguphill, everyone :-)

I'm nearly a month alcohol free now - whoop whoop!

I've lost a little bit of weight, I'm sleeping better, I'm doing more of the piles of shit jobs that I seemingly managed to ignore around the house previously!

I'm enjoying seeing my tastes change. I tried AF beer when I first stopped with the wine. Staropramen was my favourite because it had a kick to it. I'm finding it too strong in taste now, so obviously somethings happening.

I'm also humming more - poor family...

How are you?

Hey! Thanks for asking! I’m doing ok, broken the vicious cycle I think. I had a few moments this bank holiday weekend where I thought I would have liked a cold glass of wine in the sunshine. I went to the pub, had a soft drink and realised how incapable drunk friends were of holding a conversation and it firmly changed my mindset!

Lots of productive jobs happening here too.

according to one of my children, the food offerings have improved since I have been sober. This surprised me as I always have been known as a decent cook, but I guess I cooked at weekend and midweek was a bit crap with too many takeaways. So that’s a plus :)

Great update, @NoWayProvenceRose

Seeing drinking life through sober eyes is enlightening isn't it. What did you notice most about people? For me, aside from the usually slight slurring and tired eyes, I've noticed the subtle mood change in one or two people.. not enough to be a big problem, but how people change from being jovial and jokey to challenging a bit more, very slightly more defensive and taking slight offence at comments that i observe as nothing.

Very interesting. And very helpful in remaining sober!

Also glad the kids are enjoying the fruits of your culinary upgrades 😂

Observations:

1. I have about an hour in me to be gregarious and funny sober and then my social candle is fully burnt and it’s time to say goodbye 😜
2. I think meeting a friend for a drink at the start of the evening is fine, meeting a friend during the evening is harder and to some extent can be pointless depending on how much they have had to drink!
3. A lot of peoples problems are a by-product of their drinking!

It is half term here and I’m working for next few days, but that won’t stop me having some evening fun with the children. I have an evening gym session and we might have a bbq, a walk and get a board game out - enforced fun in no particular order :)

What is everyone else up to?

Well done both, I've stopped counting but must be 4 weeks+ drink free. We have had family bbq's and I've not been tempted at all!!

Im still on a diet and trying to do as much exercise as possible, I think it's probably my distraction.

I don't think I miss drinking at all!! My friend popped over yesterday and she was hung over, I don't miss feeling like that!!