Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

Hey there @SadMama87 - and yet you're here, still posting 👏

What sort of support would be most helpful for you? What do you want to achieve?

Hey thanks for the response. The truth is; I had so much fun last night!! Husband and I decided to drink and we played board games and laughed. It was great!! I did feel guilty in the morning but I am really happy with how we handled the conversation around drinking.

We made sure we had paid all our bills, and had money for upcoming bills before we decided we could “afford” to drink.

I guess what I want to achieve is; drinking less. And I am drinking less. I am happy to be here and have this supportive thread with all you lovely ladies as well.

I'm really glad you had a good time @SadMama87 - a planned night with no regrets sounds great 💕

Sorry I missed your post earlier @EyeBetOnSky, welcome and congratulations on day 5. Sorry to hear about your DF’s diagnosis, that must be so hard.

I did my exercise class. On my walk back I remembered a time when I did the class, got home for about 9pm, sat down and drank a bottle of wine. I mean… what was I thinking?! I guess I wasn’t. Anyhow, got in tonight and had a yogurt. Feeling almost excited to weigh in at the weekend to see if I’ve lost my one pound this week 😆

Edited as just seen your update @SadMama87. I hope you are ok today. I know you said you both had a great night… I guess I just worry a little because of some of your earlier posts.

@AFmammaG That spiral concept is a really good one - and I think consistent with the idea that although that are definitely short term benefits to not drinking, it is in the long term that the magic is made.

@EyeBetOnSky i have been there with the parents and I know just how devastating it can all be. I remember it being such a whirlwind of chaos and sadness and emphatically I lost any clarity or peace by drinking my way through it, and after it. Took a long time to dig myself out of that hole so if there is a way you can look to keep a lid on it now, it will really help you.

Anyway, back from work trip 1 DRY!! All those sorry looking faces wandering around feeling ill (mega smug face on, mega smug thoughts kept to my inside voice 🤣). So happy to have not and so happy to have been in a place to focus on what I needed to do. Round 2 coming up shortly and the sleep deprivation will be extreme, but it shall not be hungover as well.

Yes, thanks for making sure. We have our ups and downs that’s for sure @AFmammaG.

Tonight he called me and asked if I wanted anything from the liquor store, and I said “no, we agreed last night that we weren’t going to go back to drinking nightly”, and he said “Oooo I wanted to celebrate passing my class”, to which I replied “I understand but soon we’ll be celebrating every tiny thing with alcohol if we give in now.”

He came home with a sour face saying he had wanted a beer, and instead of moving to soothe him I just thought “he will survive being cranky” and I went about my business. I am terribly anxious and codependent so that was a huge win for me.

@TimesaChangeling well done on the dry work trip!! The hardest one is done. I think the next one will be easier. That is something I’ve never managed to do. In fact I remember one time my business partner had to call a taxi for me, put me in it and pay for it. Looking back I don’t know how I managed to face him again 😭 he was a great guy though and we ‘laughed it off’. It’s not funny though is it?

@SadMama87 well done for resisting last night. Drinking again the next day is all about the anaesthetic properties of alcohol. The theory is your body is in pain from the hangover and your brain knows the alcohol will numb that pain. Except once you start doing that regularly it’s incredibly hard to break that cycle. Great that you managed to say no. Your body will thank you for the dry day.

I have no wine in the house so should be ok tonight. Nothing to try and resist. Working hard on building new, better habits and I am feeling the benefits. I have to admit I am turning down all invites out. I’m just not ready. I think it’s ok to prioritise myself for now. It’s not forever.

Yes it's a slippy moment when it seems there's always an excuse to drink doesn't it. I remember I would drink if id had a good day, if id had a bad day, if I was grieving, if I was celebrating, if I was stressed from work, if I was on holiday, it was endless excuses to drink. I think if you can actually try and stick to the odd occasion it'll break the habit though.

Have a good weekend ladies x

Checking in dry. I still like to do that at the weekend. For the first time I had forgotten about wine tonight until DH opened his bottle. I’d say until now my bau on a Friday would be chanting to myself about why I don’t want it or distracting myself. Tonight I forgot. How awesome is that?! Already looking forward to a good night’s sleep followed by a clear head in the morning.

Brilliant @AFmammaG - fantastic check in - especially as you haven't had to focus your motivatafion, it's come naturally - fantastic!!👏👏

I've just been out for after work drinks. A couple of mocktails and I'm l now home with a pizza - winner winner!

Winner winner indeed @NextPhaseOfLife 🎉

I’m raising that baseline alright! ⬆️

I had salad for lunch and fruit for snacks today. I treated myself to a yogurt this evening. Who wants to bet which way the scales go tomorrow morning? 😆

I had pizza for dinner too! Wine wasn’t even a question in my mind tonight but I noted that my brain immediately went to “you can have wine to celebrate this trip nightmare being over on the way home” when I was thinking about the week to come. It’s funny, but I think it’s the rarely occurring triggers that are more likely to prompt me at the moment. Things I haven’t done for a while.

My scales hate any diet attempt (and me I think)

I mean 6 months of on off drinking and on off dieting and I lost nothing. Didn’t put anything on either so I do wonder if this is the weight I’m supposed to be. I don’t have a huge target. Just want want to lose a pound a week before the summer holidays start.

@TimesaChangeling my mind still jumps to wine as a reward too. It’s been my go to for years. I acknowledge I’m basically hiding at home right now. Too afraid to do ‘normal’ things because it feels too hard.

As I said earlier, I’m ok with that right now but know I’ll have to do it at some point and that does worry me.

@AFmammaG All I can say is that it is nowhere near as scary or as hard as you think. You do have to be decisive and clear in your mind - but that is it. Everyone faces different challenges I know so what is easier for me might not be for the next person and what is hard for me (getting through work crap) is fine for the next person and so on. You should only try it when you feel ready, for sure, but you might surprise yourself! Either way, do what feels right for you because that is the most important thing.

Huge win to not be thinking about it @AFmammaG !! What a lovely feeling of freedom.

Totally agree with everything @TimesaChangeling says - I stayed in for the first 6 weeks and then slowly started bringing things back. But I chose to bring slightly different things back in that I wanted to enjoy. You do you.

Thank you both.

I weighed in this morning. I’ve lost 0.7lb. Not quite a pound. But at least it’s in the right direction. Will persevere for another week and see what happens.

Morning all.
just checking in
Hope everyone is ok today?
I’m on my last day at the spa it’s been absolutely fantastic if anyone is looking for a short break I’d 100% recommend this place..it’s call the Wild pheasant in Llangollen Wales.
anyway…..good & bad news, I have had wine 🙈 but only a couple each night, not been drunk & full memory the next day, this time a even 3 months ago I would have been drinking all day everyday & pissed with probably a black out.
I had slight anxiety this morning but had a talk to myself.
driving home later & back to AF xx

Just to quickly check in. Don't know if it's day 3 or 4. I tried not to think about it. I do have a bottle for tonight but only one and prioritised getting everything done so only just sat down.
Works been busy. Home been busy. I've had a very sore back so not slept very well, although last night was much better.
I'm away for the weekend next week with the little one. I won't be able to drink. So if I keep to the original plan of Saturdays only that will be 14 days! And if I get through that I'm going for the AF July.
My diet has been shit though. I still feel bloated yet, last time I managed 5 days AF, I felt much lighter.

@Oopsdiditagain I would have been amazed if you had stayed dry tbh, that’s a lot of temptation! Glad you are ok and good for you jumping straight back on.

I’m checking in dry. Had a difficult day but as always, it was easier then if I’d be hungover so all good really. The eating has been mixed, I had a large lunch but a small dinner so hopefully that will balance out.

Hope everyone is ok tonight.

That definitely sounds like a plan @CoffeeLover90 and a good progression towards the dry July. Wishing you the best of luck for your 14 days!