Nothing works!

[Winegirl]

I've name changed for this as I'm not sure if it's appropriate, or maybe people will think I'm ridiculous.

I drink around 80 units of wine a week. Have done for a long time, I'm middle aged. I so wish I could stop and I have spent years reading everything there is to know about effects, how to moderate, going sober, there's probably not much I couldn't tell you about all the negatives of alcohol.

But nothing works. I think this is partly to do with the fact that I haven't suffered any negative effects from alcohol so far, other than weight gain, I'm also in peri. Another reason, I think, is that I have family members who are much older than me who have drank in the same way and they have not suffered any serious ill effects and I tell myself I'll be fine.

I'm a very black and white thinker and deal in facts, not averages, and have a it won't happen to me mentality, even although I think about it every single day.

So what I'm asking is, does anyone have real life stories of drinking between a bottle and a bottle and a half of wine every night, and how it ended up in the end health wise? I think this may help, due to what I've said above, and also the niggling voice in my head that tells me it's only wine, it's the spirits that do the real damage.

Thank you

Yes.
One ended up with pancreatic cancer and a horribly painful death in and Alzheimer’s in another one. They were actually sectioned for their own safety, had a forced detox and now reside in a home that isn’t the lovely care home you like to think you’d end up where you would have been able to have day trips and meals out with family. Neither drank spirits.

Anxiety is also upped by drinking. That you are worried about it, is an effect too.
If you want to terrify yourself look into the long term effect of alcohol on the brain, I think it is called alcohol induced dementia.

Have you ever had a liver scan?

You need a liver fibroscan.

Start by taking one day off a week and build up the days you don’t drink alcohol.

When is the last time you had a day off from the alcohol?

Scaring you with horror stories of the effects of heavy drinking isn't going to work either. If you truly want to stop then you need professional help, your gp is your first stop.

Have had a few people I know end up with decompensated liver disease with this pattern of drinking - particular if also overweight and other genetic risk factors. But very few people respond to abstract risks.
What works to chnage things is support. Google your local borough name and ‘community alcohol service’ - and give them a ring. they will be able to advise you about whether you can stop without medication or need a detox.
explore recovery organisations like AA, SMART recovery and soberistas for a group of people who have been where you are and can give you support and the hope that you can recover.
Another observation Is that a number of ladies recently have mistaken early signs of alcohol withdrawal for menopausal symptoms. Once they stopped drinking the night sweats and morning anxiety stopped completely. So there might be a more immediate reason connected with self care and positivity rather than fear to think about having a break. That might be more motivating for you.

Hi op I'm a therapist and used to work in addiction services. This level of drinking l is not healthy for your liver. Have you considered what you'd like to replace your alcohol drinking with? I assume you drink as it has a positive for you? Relaxation/social/spend the evening. Maybe think about what you gain from alcohol then try find something else that could take its place. A new hobby, exercise, join a club etc etc. often people continue to engage in something as it provides a good feeling/function for them. You do sound like you'd like to hold onto your alcohol drinking. I'd also suspect if you were to stop you would need a detox. If you drink wine every day you will be physically dependent good luck 😊

my mum drinks like this….she is late 70’s. Physically she seems fine. But mentally she is not. She is emotionally flat and absent unless she has had 2 glasses of wine at least. She is emotionally blunted even then. It so depressing and getting worse quickly. it started about 10 years ago( the emotional thing not the drinking- that has been since her 40’s when my dad left us)

Great post.

OP, chances are the stories of other people’s damaged health through alcohol will just make you anxious and you will medicate that anxiety with drinking, because that is what you currently do with your anxiety.

It does sound like you will need a detox, and you will need to think about what you stand to gain by not drinking, and how you will manage your anxiety and other difficult feelings differently. Good luck.

8 years ago I was drinking 125 units of vodka a week. Ended up with acute pancreatitis but that didn’t stop me drinking. What stopped me was doing something so monumentally horrifying when blind drunk that I came within a whisker of losing my job, home, husband and everything else I held dear. I was forgiven on the proviso that I never ever had another alcoholic drink and I didn’t - now 8 years sober.

I feel for you OP. I knew for years that I was drinking dangerous amounts but it still didn’t stop me. Something life threatening often needs to happen before you’ll kick it… either health wise or like me - nearly losing everything.

Your current drinking patterns give you an audit score of 12, which is the highest. and would be classed as harmful/dependent, needing medical support to stop.
Your body processes alcohol at approximately 1 unit per hour (providing your liver is ok), which means your body is probably never alcohol free, putting you at risk of drink/driving etc.
The physical and mental health risks aside, this habit is costing you financially, socially and has the potential of robbing you of everything - alcohol related dementia is more common then you think.
Write a cost/benefit list about your alcohol use - which list is longer?
On the cost list - be honest with yourself - how big could those costs become?
The things on the benefit list - what could you do instead that would provide a similar effect?
Maybe think about approaching your local alcohol service for additional support to help you reduce at a sensible level (approx 10% per week).
I would also think about accessing counselling etc. as something is stopping you from recognising your value/self-worth for you to harm yourself in this way on a daily basis?
Death from alcohol related illness is usually slow and painful.
Horrendous for the individual and heart-breaking for their family and loved ones.
YOU are worth more, YOU deserve more.

Read the book alcohol explained by William Porter- its written very factually and will appeal to that part of you that respects logic

When you say nothing works, I’m intrigued as to what you’ve tried. You say you deal in facts - how about doing an experiment? Stop for 100 days and see how you feel. If you don’t get any benefits from that, fine.

I should add that at your level of drinking you should check with your GP before stopping completely.

The benefits of being sober are so huge- in my mid 50s I am stronger and sharper than I’ve ever been, and 2 years ago I was drinking at your level, so I hope you give yourself the chance to find out how much you have to gain by stopping

I was carer to a friend with alcohol induced dementia for some years and with him when he died. It isn't the way I would want to go.

Why don't you try AA www.aa.org/? I'm in a different 12 step fellowship for a different type of addiction and honestly there's nothing like it. These will be people like you who have lived through your story. Good luck OP.

How awful for them! Thank you for sharing.

No, I've had blood tests which were always fine but never a scan.

I feel it will help, but I understand what you're saying. I've been to my GP before, I've also attended an addiction service once before.

Thank you. I've attended an addiction service before but it didn't help. I have looked at SMART recovery many times but don't feel brave enough to enter it yet, but I may.

Thanks 😀I find it difficult to replace it with anything because I don't usually have a drink until after 9pm, so I just go about my day and this is just like an extension of that at the end of the day. When I have a night, or a few days off it I go to bed early and it's ok for a few nights but then I get bored with it. I guess I miss the buzz. It's the only thing which quietens my overactive brain! Lol! There is a part of me that would like to hold onto it I admit, but I also don't want to die a horrible death so that's why I posted for examples.

Thank you for this, I really relate. I have a parent like this and this is one of my fears also.

Thank you for sharing this! And huge well done! I am always so impressed when people manage to get sober because I know how difficult it is.

Thank you for this post. It made me tearful. You're right, I probably do need counselling. I felt unloved as a child then entered an emotionally abusive marriage for many years, the last couple of years of this marriage is actually when the drinking started. I then went on to bring up my children on my own for many years which was an incredible struggle (I only ever drank when they went to bed) so I do feel I have unresolved issues which need taking apart, but I live rurally and it's so difficult to get the correct, if any, support.

I did attend a local alcohol service for a time but didn't feel it helped.

yes I have one family member who now suffers from Alzheimers dementia through years of drinking like you. I wish alcohol related dementia was more spoken and known about. I suppose years of the effect of alcohol on the brain is going to do some damage eventually. it will catch up with you in the end it always does.

Dead at 61 the last few years marred by a horrific spiral leg fracture then broken hip (osteoporosis) in a lot of liver or something pain for 6 months.

Went into hospital weighing 5 stone expected to survive 3 days, took about 2 months to die and she was in pain for most of that.

Horrific.

Thanks, I have read it before as well as other quit lit, don't know why it didn't help because I know it is very popular with people in this situation.