Does being drunk twice a week mean you have a drinking problem?

[82662961k]

I think yes, my husband thinks no.

He gets drunk twice (sometimes three times) a week.

It’s not just a few beers, it’s a bottle of vodka. He can barely walk or speak he’s so drunk.

I hate it but he acts as if I’m the problem and says he should be allowed to drink in the house because he doesn’t go out drinking (his choice).

People who know you, or him, are very likely to minimize this because if their discomfort at being brought into what they think if as messy, family, business. It’s easier to tell you to chill snd do nothing than to accept and hold this really tragic reality that your dh is a drunk, and a mean one at that.

You did the right thing asking anonymously on an anonymous forum. Your intuition is correct:he is an alcoholic and he is not ready to recognize the problem. Try to get support outside the house and move towards protecting your housing, children, pension because he will blow through it all.

Yes he does drive the morning after, he will take the kids to school.

you’re allowing your children in the car with a drunk driver!! Do you want him to kill them? Or kill someone else with them in the car?

there are 40 units of alcohol in a litre of vodka. Alcohol goes through your system at about 1 unit an hour.

If he’s driving after 11 hours, being generous and saying he’s started getting rid of it fast and doesn’t drink the whole bottle, he’s hot the equivalent of half a bottle of vodka in his system. And you let the kids get in the car with him…

Give your head a wobble @82662961k. It’s time to say no to this now…

Vodka is the hard stuff. And he's drinking a bottle three times a week to get drunk so he can barely function?

I mean, that is very different to being tiddly and giggly. His objective is to get blotto.

It really doesn't sound like fun for any of you.

It's not going to get any better. Only worse.

1. You must not let him take the children to school in the car the morning after. That’s not safe. If he tries, call the police-that’ll show him what a dicing with.
2. Your children are carrying the weight of his alcohol abuse. Been there, done that..don’t inflict that on them.

Hi OP. I just wanted to share my experience. I am a recovering alcoholic, been sober almost 7 years. When I was drinking I would drink to literally pass out and nothing would stop me. I gave all the excuses in the world to drink; had a shit day? Let's have a drink! Had a great day? Let's have a drink! It's a Wednesday? Let's have a drink! I could easily drink a litre bottle of vodka to myself on a Saturday night.I would also drink gin or any clear alcohol from the bottle and top it back up with water. I hit my rock bottom when I inappropriately messaged my then boss, who said if I didn't resign, he'd take the matter to HR. I was mortified and knew I needed to change. I went to AA. It doesn't work for everyone but it worked for me. My point is that your DH is in denial; a place I used to frequent. He doesn't think he has a problem. The old saying that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, springs to mind. You can't help or save someone that doesn't want to be helped or saved. Let me just say that I never drove after a night of drinking, there's absolutely no way I could as I was still paralytic in the morning. Your husband is driving your precious DC's drunk. He could literally kill your babies and anyone else on the road. This has to be the most important take away. With regards to your colleague, I suspect that she drinks a little too much herself. I was always the first to say 'let your hair down', 'have a laugh'. I would also encourage everyone around me to get drunker so that I felt better. Take her view with a pinch of salt. Just think of yourself, OP, and your precious, innocent babies. You are what really matters! Wishing you the best of luck. 💐💐💐

Your H is a binge drinking alcoholic and if he's driving your children to school the morning after drinking a bottle of vodka the night before (32 units) then he's risking your children's lives by drink driving them. Please contact Al Anon so you can stop enabling him. I know that sounds harsh, but you need to protect your children and you deserve better yourself.

Some hard truths coming from someone who grew up with an alcoholic family member, and saw her go from a troubled young woman in her early thirties to the grave at 55. She spent the last years of her life in a care home with 80 year olds (and you would not have been able to tell she was thirty years younger than the other residents by looking at her).

Your husband is an alcoholic. He is in denial. There will also be drinking you don't know about. He won't get better unless he is willing to recognise his problem. He will disintegrate if he doesn't stop. His capacity to conduct a normal healthy life will gradually reduce and then collapse. He will fade into physical and mental infirmity. His ability to work will go first. His health will then collapse. He may end up with a form of alcohol induced dementia/brain damage, effecting his mental capacity in mid life. His liver will fail and he will retain fluid, bloat and develop jaundice. Your kids will see it all. They will suffer. It will stay with them forever and at best they will suffer lifelong mental damage. At worse, you risk them becoming substance abusers themselves, as it's so normalised for them.

You need to speak to Alcoholics Anonymous and see if he will accept their help. If he won't do it. You have to leave him for the sake of your children. It is really very troubling that he drives the morning after with them if he is downing 750ml of vodka the night before. TBH, it's troubling that he drives at all (and I remember my relatives car accumulating damage from all the collisions she caused).

I'm sorry to be blunt, but if he won't help himself. You have to cut him loose, and protect your children.

He can barely walk or speak he’s so drunk.

And he thinks doing this twice a week isn't a problem?

Yes he does drive the morning after, he will take the kids to school. I’m at work so can’t. He will say that he stopped drinking at 9pm so that’s 12 hours he’s had nothing for, so he’s fine to drive.

He isn't fine to drive after backing an entire bottle of vodka the evening before. This is very worrying.

Come on, YOU know the right answer to this, WE know the right answer to this, EVERYBODY knows the answer to this, and I'll wager he does too deep down. He's in denial.

It takes about an hour for the body to process 1 unit of alcohol so if he’s drinking a bottle of vodka, depending on size, if it is say 30 units, he would still have alcohol in his system at 9am.
XH is an alcoholic. It got steadily worse, especially in lockdown when he WFH so no driving to work. Only drank on weekends but Sunday is still the weekend, Thursday is almost the Tuesday or Wednesday is okay if there’s football on! He’s still drinking heavily and unfortunately so is his new partner. I do trust him not to drink and drive with DD and I hate the example he is setting her, but I’m glad she’s with me most of the time (I hardly drink these days).

Halfords sell breathalyser kits. Insist he uses one before you allow the kids in the car with him.

Heck, I like a drink a bit too much but a bottle of vodka lasts me at least 10 days.

Drink driving your dcs is appalling. And yes he's an alcoholic.