I've had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol for a couple of decades.
I've just woken up to the fact I can't drink in moderation, it's all or nothing forme. Black outs are the norm now. Alcohol has ruined my life to the point I have lost so many friendships and my family no longer speak to me.
Today I realised my addiction is a physical one. I'm not going cold turkey and have some normal strength lager which I'm going to drink so I can taper off the hard stuff.
I was drinking a bottle of spirits plus a couple of cans of cider per day.
I've spoken to my GP about my drinking and he's been great.
I've done AA, it was great to meet people who had also had a drink problem but after a while I realised that 12 steps was doing more harm than good in terms of my mental health and so went to SMART instead, which was a much better programme altogether.
I'm writing this as due to current mental health, I'm no longer able to attend meetings as I'm having multiple anxiety attacks every day and have developed multiple phobias and severe depression so I struggle to drive and get out and about.
I'm ill, bloated, lost the respect of my family and many of my friends, I just need to get well and try to patch up the damage I've done to my family as well as my body.
Self help books are not an option as I have ADHD and find it hard to digest the information as I hyperfocus and tend to miss the bigger picture.
Any advice on how I'm going to get sober and stay sober?