I know I need to stop... Help please

[MasterOfOne]

I an struggling so much. I need to stop drinking. I drink all day everyday. I am drinking right now as I type.

I HATE what I have become, but have no idea how to stop.

My dad died a chronic alcoholic.... I know how this story ends.

I am just so so sad I have turned out like this

Help

[freesolo76]

Why don't you ring AA? I did that in April and I'm now nearly 200 days sober. The help and support they gave me was invaluable, and I went to a few online meetings and having that support network around me was what helped me to stop. AA is not for everyone and in fact I don't use them anymore but those first few months I felt like I had my hand held throughout. I had gone from 3 or 4 bottles a week to waking up in the night drinking as I had such huge anxiety, to drinking several bottles a day on the last few weeks. I knew there was only one ending if I didn't stop, I can't tell you how happy I am I made that phone call. My life is so much better.

[MasterOfOne]

I think I have to. Have been researching local alcohol support services.

This drinking is totally messing up my life right now :(

[mindutopia]

Find yourself a local AA meeting and also look at online support. Bee Sober is a great one - they have a Facebook group (and also a members only section, which is worth paying to access - it's £15 a month, I think, which is great value for money, I was spending that on a box of wine a day every day when I quit!).

Honestly, you need support and a community around you to get sober. There are lots of places to find it. It's just about figuring out where your tribe is. If you're a woman (I'm just assuming you are), look for a women's AA meeting. Try some online ones first if you feel like you aren't ready to make the leap to a f2f meeting yet. You don't have to get sober first to come to a meeting. Same goes with Bee Sober. There are online meetings and you can pick and choose what works for you. There is a less than 12 months meeting on Wednesday evenings, which is lovely and friendly.

If you are drinking a lot and daily, and withdrawal is a worry, you might need support from your GP to quit. Me personally, I was drinking 3 bottles of wine a day, just about every day, and I didn't get GP support to quit. It was absolutely fine, but that doesn't mean it's the right choice for you. But people do it and it was the right choice for me at the time.

You absolutely can do it. I never in a million years would have thought I'd be someone who could stop drinking. It just didn't seem possible, but it is. And there is a wonderful life waiting for you on the other side. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my adult life probably. It's not always been easy, but I have no desire to go back now and I don't feel like I'm missing out. The world is so much brighter without alcohol. I'll be 6 months sober next week.

[Pinkjacket22]

Get to aa. Best thing I ever did. Rarely think about drinking these days, 7 years sober. Have a very happy life. I thought a life without alcohol would be feeling miserable and deprived but I was so wrong. I'm the happiest I've been ever.

[Username620]

It’s good that you have got to this step that you know you need to stop - that is one of the first hurdles.
Download the app “I am sober”. It really helps with the keeping track of the days and there are milestones plus the people on the forums are really nice and supportive. You can write about anything with no judgement because things will come up that may trigger you to want a drink.
I didn’t drink during the day but did all evening.
I am now over 400 days sober and life is better, I’m healthier, I have lost over 20kg, I’ve had a few traumatic events this year that in the past I would have had a drink but now I don’t. I wish I had done it earlier.
I didn’t use AA as they weren’t very friendly when I reached out to them and I wasn’t sure about the spiritual side of it.
It took being caught drunk driving for me to stop (first time I had ever done it and I still don’t know why) don’t get yourself to that. You don’t realise what a privilege it is to be able to drive until you no longer have it.
good luck - there are some good books to read as well. The sober diaries and the unexpected joy of being sober.

[VoldemortsKitten]

You can absolutely get free of this @MasterOfOne how are you today?

AA can be a great help early on, hearing from others who have been where you are and have succeeded in breaking the habit can be very powerful. It's hard to face this alone. Even though ultimately it's between you and yourself only, it can be so useful to have short and encouragement from others.

Stopping suddenly might lead to withdrawal, especially if you are used to having a drink during the day, is that something you are worried about?

So many of us have been there and are out the other side now even though I could never have dared to dream it was possible x

[VoldemortsKitten]

Short = Support

Massively rooting for you

[VoldemortsKitten]

@mindutopia

Find yourself a local AA meeting and also look at online support. Bee Sober is a great one - they have a Facebook group (and also a members only section, which is worth paying to access - it's £15 a month, I think, which is great value for money, I was spending that on a box of wine a day every day when I quit!).

Honestly, you need support and a community around you to get sober. There are lots of places to find it. It's just about figuring out where your tribe is. If you're a woman (I'm just assuming you are), look for a women's AA meeting. Try some online ones first if you feel like you aren't ready to make the leap to a f2f meeting yet. You don't have to get sober first to come to a meeting. Same goes with Bee Sober. There are online meetings and you can pick and choose what works for you. There is a less than 12 months meeting on Wednesday evenings, which is lovely and friendly.

If you are drinking a lot and daily, and withdrawal is a worry, you might need support from your GP to quit. Me personally, I was drinking 3 bottles of wine a day, just about every day, and I didn't get GP support to quit. It was absolutely fine, but that doesn't mean it's the right choice for you. But people do it and it was the right choice for me at the time.

You absolutely can do it. I never in a million years would have thought I'd be someone who could stop drinking. It just didn't seem possible, but it is. And there is a wonderful life waiting for you on the other side. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my adult life probably. It's not always been easy, but I have no desire to go back now and I don't feel like I'm missing out. The world is so much brighter without alcohol. I'll be 6 months sober next week.

I identify with so much of this @mindutopia

Congrats on your 6months what a journey d

[MasterOfOne]

Thank you all.

Not great today - however I did email AA and they sent a huge email back with attachments that just felt totally overwhelming. I just started crying so wasn't able to read the email.

I've also downloaded Alan Carr book that seems to be highly recommended.

I'll try to do a little better tomorrow.

Yes very scared of withdrawal. I feel shaky, weak, sweaty and faint when I stop. The anxiety and palpitations so overwhelming.

[VoldemortsKitten]

You did amazing to get in touch with AA. If the attachments are a bit daunting it's probably much easier to just join in one of their zoom meetings anonymously and listen in

William porter's book is good too and his blog I'll paste a couple of bits below

alcoholexplained.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/1st-5.pdf

alcoholexplained.com/morning-drinking/

The GP can give you diazepam/ similar to deal with the withdrawal when you're feeling ready and able to take the plunge, so you don't have to go through it all without help. It does massively take the edge off the heightened anxiety and other side effects.

You don't have to live like this forever ❤️

[MasterOfOne]

@VoldemortsKitten really appreciate the time you've taken to post and the links.

I drank less than my usual amount last night, and the house is alcohol free.

I woke up about 2am this morning (when I'd usually start drinking again) and decided to read the links you've posted.
That morning drinking blog post made so much sense.

I then read those chapters of that book and have printed those pages so I can read over again and highlight some things.

5am, feeling rather anxious and quite depressed. I went and made a cup of tea and reading more posts in here.

I really want to make it through today without alcohol. I know its going to be very very hard, but am going to try.

Will try to read the email from AA and see if I can find an online zoom meeting I can join.

Thank you.

[VoldemortsKitten]

Thinking of you, that's a big step!

I know when you're super anxious the day can drag and every minute can seem like an hour. I hope you are getting through it.

Sending you so much strength let us know how you are x

[MasterOfOne]

About to start work. Thats stressing me out a nut cos I haven't been great at it for the last few months. Have really let some things slide and it's all starting to catch up.

Another cup of tea, feeling super sweaty and my heart rate is through the roof. Taking deep breaths and just trying to calm down before logging on.

Really embarrassing but my car boot is filled with empty bottles that I have been trying to recycle for the week. Finally made booking for tip this afternoon and will feel some relief that the evidence will be gone.

Feel incredible shame right now.

[VoldemortsKitten]

Hey, I hope work is a good distraction and not overwhelming.

Driving those empties to the tip is a bloody marvellous thing x

[MasterOfOne]

Thank you.

I did have a drink last night but was half compared to the night before. I am hoping today is the first alcohol free day of many for me.

[VoldemortsKitten]

That's great progress I hope today has gone ok x

[Ouch4321]

Hello OP,

Sounds like you've had some really useful advice but I just wanted to add in a slightly different perspective.

Like you, I lost a parent to alcoholism. It was traumatic, and the worst part of it all was seeing how little she actually wanted to help herself.

Reading your posts has really made me quite emotional! You're a stranger on the internet but I'm SO rooting for you. You want this, and that's just amazing. Will be watching this post to see you crack this horrible thing - you've got this!

[MasterOfOne]

@Ouch4321 that really made me very emotional.... and feel less alone.

Everyone on this thread has been so kind and generous to me when I genuinely don't feel like I deserve it.

@VoldemortsKitten I am about to go to sleep completely sober for the first time in god knows how long.

Day 1 and 24hrs since my last drink.

[Username620]

I am about to go to sleep completely sober for the first time in god knows how long. 

Day 1 and 24hrs since my last drink.

Fantastic. Proud of you. One day at a time or one second at a time it doesn’t matter.

Enjoy waking up in the morning with no hangover.

[VoldemortsKitten]

Just brilliant. I hope the night went ok @MasterOfOne making it through the first 24 hours is massive. How are you feeling? You should be massively proud of yourself ❤️

[BlueKaftan]

Hi OP, I just wanted to check in and see how the night went. I’ve recently had covid and decided to use that as a jump off to sobriety. I won’t lie, though, I don’t know if I can do it. You have been incredibly brave so far! 💐

[MasterOfOne]

Morning All,

Thank you for thinking of me. Night was OK but really struggled to fall asleep and stay asleep. Feel like a real zombie today.

Less anxiety compared to yesterday just utterly exhausted.

On the plus side, waking up super early meant I really did some self care this morning, including putting on make up for work which again I haven't done in ages.

I am starting to worry about the weekend as I'll be mostly alone, but hopefully I can sleep though most of it and catch up on some much needed house work.

Thank you so much for the support, you genuinely have no idea how much this has helped me get this far.

[Username620]

One thing I loved about the early wake up with no hangover, was sitting outside with my coffee watching the sun rise and just taking the world in.
Now my sleep is shitty again because of illness but I have really lost the urge to drink when anxious.

[VoldemortsKitten]

Hopefully the anxiety will mostly dissipate by the end of the day @MasterOfOne 🤞🏼 for me I knew I was out of the woods by day2, even though I am sad to say there were a few day 2s on the way to escape, for me. I like to think they served a purpose because I'm damn sure I never want another one.

I'm loving that you had time for some make up and self care it's these little things that can start to creep back now and get you back to the real you underneath the struggle.

Sleep will return, your body is readjusting and healing, nap as much as you need to.

Just so chuffed you're doing so well

And yes yes @Username620 I am exactly the same. Still wake up and sit outside with my coffee in the peace of the early morning (tbf 6am 😬 feels early enough!) because no matter how long ago it was I can vividly remember the desperation of some very different 6ams, and I still catch the surge of overwhelming relief that here I am free and looking forward to another day.

One day at a time. Yeah massively over used but also massively true X

[annabelnw9]

Well done on recognising things need to change and just can’t go on as they are. You have the Allen Carr book (Stop Drinking Now). That book will help you, as it helped me, to unpick, bit by bit, the years of conditioning/ways of thinking about alcohol that you have been subjected to. It will give you a really good foundation for your journey to sobriety. I would also recommend the Allen Carr sessions too. They are very powerful and help unpick the way your brain has been trained to think of alcohol. Keep going, never give up. You will get there and you will be so much happier.