Need a hand hold - day 9

[PricklyPineapple]

I've NC for this but have posted on the Alcohol Support group previously and you've all been so helpful. I'm on day 9 of being sober. The last time I didn't drink for this long was a decade ago and I have been drinking far too heavily, almost daily (especially in the past 3 years). I am so proud of myself to have got to this point. I woke up this morning feeling fine, but an ex who I never really got over reached out to me today to tell me that he still has feelings for me (he's married, with kids, and I'm also in a relationship – so obviously nothing is going to happen. We agreed to delete the conversation and just pretend it never happened). It has thrown me into a complete tailspin though. I can't stop thinking about it and I desperately want to open a bottle of wine. I know this is not a good thing to do. I have to go to a work event tonight and there will be a lot of alcohol there too. It was already going to be hard, but I felt okay about it. How do I cope with this and stay sober? Especially when I will literally have drinks being offered to me tonight.

Thank you both for your replies!

@PricklyPineapple I’m so sorry to hear about your fertility issues, must be so tough! We actually had a hard time conceiving (which again makes me so annoyed at myself for getting like this again) I hope there are options for you and you have support? I honestly wouldn’t even worry about that half pint as you didn’t carry on! And sounds like it wasn’t worth it in your head so you won’t bother again which is good? You’re doing great and that’s why I posted on this thread as I found it inspiring and relatable!

@Onewildandpreciouslife you’re doing so well too and so inspiring! It’s nice to feel that there are people like me and I’m not alone in how I have been but also there is a way out and you seem to have got it under control

Waking up today, I still don’t feel 100% but that’s to be expected after the amount I was drinking but it was nice to not feel hungover and I’ve already been productive at work. I’m trying to also just see the long run and remind myself that the things that make me happy don’t connect to wine. How low I have felt about my mums situation the past months it dawned on me that I could be putting my own child in that position much too early and all from my own doing. Kinda hits home when you aren’t drunk I guess and you need to face the realism.

Are your partners and friends big drinkers? Mine all are including my husbands family. When I did the sober month earlier in the year I felt so proud everytime I socialised with all these groups of people and didn’t drink so trying to remember I can do it! Tbh though the secret drinking was where I was going way too far lately, I don’t think anyone realised

@Olivia2020 thank you for the kind words! Yes, most of my friends are big drinkers and I’ve felt really proud when I’ve been out with them these past two weeks and not drunk - although I am super nervous about one on one catch ups as they usually revolve around wine and drinking (and I definitely haven’t opened up about the secret drinking that’s been going on for the past few years…)

Doing a sober month is really impressive (and far more than I’ve done!) so you’ve got this!

@PricklyPineapple it actually gets funny when you’re out with friends who are big drinkers. You also find out who are your real friends. I did stay quiet about it at first but now I’m proud and I have people asking me how I did it.
A few months ago, a friend of mine was completely drunk and came up to me hugging me and said I was so much nicer now that I did not drink. I was never a grotty drunk around this person.
And when it is one on one meeting up a lot of my friends don’t bother with a drink when we have a meal.
One of the girls at work even asked me if I minded her having a beer when we were out for dinner. 😂

That’s really good! I do myself feel envious of people who don’t actually care too much about drink and who can have fun without it so hopefully people will look at me like that. When I was pregnant I found drunk people so loud 😂

Well I felt very productive at work today for the first time in ages, my concentration was much better. This sometimes is a trigger for me as I think “well I’ve smashed it out today and done a lot, time for a wine” but I don’t feel like I will do that this evening so wish me luck.

The app I used last time “I am sober” is back on the go which is helpful, I like to see the money aspect - I made myself look at what I’ve spent today and it’s so unnecessary and hard to see tbh

@Olivia2020 I don’t think I would have got through it without “I am sober”. Maybe I’ve been lucky but there is nice group of people in the communities that all stopped drinking around the same time as me.

@Username620 @Olivia2020 I haven't tried "I am Sober" but have been using the Try Dry app which has been really useful – just being able to tick off each day is helpful. I'll have to also check out I am Sober

I agree @Onewildandpreciouslife about I am sober and the community! People are very supportive and no judgement. I’ve never posted but I love reading the posts