It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

Can I join? I am drinking 2 bottles a night and I need to stop or I am going to lose my kids and grandson. Have also joined the continuing support thread and had some lovely responses. Alcohol is stealing my life. My son wants me to go to AA meetings but the thought terrifies me

@Thepeppapigfanclub I'm doing ok - bit tough at minute as had a heavy night last night so craving a drink to make me feel 'normal' now but watching trash TV and trying to keep occupied

Doesn't help work been awful too today and although this mornings hangover seems to have subsided the anxiety is still there - long road ahead but you guys have / are all brilliant and supportive!

@Thepeppapigfanclub I can identify with everything you say - my son wants me to go to AA meetings but I am cacking myself but I need to do something - drink is stealing my life I hope you are ok

@Mummykins54 Of course. - misery loves company and all that. It's awful seeing what it's doing isn't it? My insides actually hurt and that's before all the rest of it.

I've been to AA before (should have carried on going obviously) and I cried my eyes out the first time -BUT - everyone was so friendly and you realise, just like here, that you're not the only one. I never felt like drinking after I'd been to a meeting and although some of the stories were hard - there was always inspiration and hope. Not everyone like it but surely worth a shot. I'm going to a meeting on Saturday. -I'm a bit nervous but you're in good company when you go if nothing else. 😂

@BackToBasics1808 That sounds like a tough day. Sending you good thoughts and hope tomorrow is better.

@Thepeppapigfanclub thank you I am going to go to a meeting think the hurdle is getting over the door and meeting a bunch if strangers. What is a meeting actually like? I am petrified but if I want to keep my kids and grandson I have to go x

@Mummykins54 From memory the meetings usually have a guest speaker and people sharing their thoughts. You don't have to say anything at all. You can just listen. They'll be a lot that resonates. It wasn't what I was expecting -it was a lot better. Have you had a look on the website? You can find your nearest ones on there.

On another note, were spending £300 a month on drink. I haven't even considered that as part of my disposable income - more essential.😮Could you image spending that much on diet coke?

We've everything to gain and everything important to us to lose. We can share notes after we've been?

@Thepeppapigfanclub that would be great. I am horriified when I open my bottle bin😱

Just catching up on day 2, loving that there are some new joiners. Hi everyone! Day 2 for me.
I had an unexpected evening meal out. It’s so hard to say no to ‘would you like a drink’. No. Simple when you type it but the temptation is there and strong.
I had a J20.
Looking forward to reading back over the posts today for some inspiration.

Welcome to the thread @BackToBasics1808. The more the merrier 😉

@MamaGhina That's brilliant that you didn't! Day 2 done and with a meal out. Very impressive.

Hi @Mummykins54. Thanks for joining the thread!
I’ve been on a few of these before because I absolutely do want to stop but I crack quite easily. I’m so hopeful this is my time. Really appreciating all the posts and learning all these tips to stick at it.

@Thepeppapigfanclub the words J20 left my lips so quickly I didn’t give myself a chance to hesitate or start the internal dilemma of should I or shouldn’t I. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at the menu and see the AF drinks because I know I would have just ordered wine.

There should be classes to learn how to say 'no'. I bet you'll be glad you did in the morning!

I've got a bit of time off work so I'm just here -staring it out. 😂Day 2 - nearly done!

Yesterday was my day 1 too. Feeling stronger today but before when I've given up the drink I've only last a week before I convince myself I can drink in moderation, and then within a couple of days I'm back to a bottle of wine a night

My kids deserve more.

I’m over here from another thread, but saw @Mummykins54 comment about the horror when you see your empty bottle box. Just want to say, I’ve done 18 days, and I put my bottle box out this morning (collected fortnightly) and it had only AF bottles! Estrella Blue and Tanqueray Zero!
I’m sure I’m not the only one, but I used to go to the tip with bottles so the neighbours wouldn’t see my overflowing box.
I was so chuffed with myself this morning that I left the lid off the box for the world to see.
I honestly never expected to get this far. The Try Dry app helps a lot, as it asks me at 9.15pm if I’ve had a dry day. I’d hate to disappoint it.
Hang on in there. One day at a time. I must say, I love going to bed sober. Tidying the kitchen, letting the dog out, nighttime routines.
Then lying awake for hours but that will get better, I’m sure.

Morning all! Happy day 3 or day 19 @SoosanCarter (brilliant!), or whatever day.

Wow did I drink a lot of wine in my dreams last night. I was pulling half filled empty bottles of wine out of a bin at the back of a pub and drinking them. Finding half filled bottles on tables and drinking them. Fell out with boyfriend because I was more interested in the wine than him (single in real life). It wasn't fun. Relieved to have woken up knowing the dream wasn't real I didn't drink last night.

Coffee tastes better in a morning when you haven't been chugging wine the night before.

The horrors of recycling box are real. Not having to navigate that problem is another penny in the bank of self-respect - or will be next week.

Wising you all a great day.

I'm not sure whether to post or not but in the hope it helps everyone's or anyone's resolve, here goes.

I did not think I was a big drinker. A couple of glasses every evening when home from work but every day, pretty much for 20 years. Probably never more than 35 to 40 units per week, which I have only very recently realised and was totally unaware of how the numbers added up. I have never craved a drink and have always had "rules": never before 6, never more than three glasses, etc.

On 10th July, the day after my birthday, I decided to have a dry month. My creeping weight may have been a factor. So I stopped with no issues and absolute ease. I felt great.

Not long afterwards but having not had a drink for two weeks, I had to have routine bloods. The doctor called because my liver enzymes were elevated, one badly. The tests were repeated and it wasn't a blip. Then more tests to rule out HepB, C, and a variety of other things. I have had an ultrasound which has diagnosed a moderately diffused echogenic liver with fatty infiltration. I am seeing a consultant hepatologist in two weeks and hope to be advised the damage is reversible but note that it is moderate not mild.

I have had an awful two or three weeks and have learnt more about the liver and how alcohol damages it than I wish to share.

Probably I have drunk little more than half a bottle a day but for a sustained period. I might only have just about got away with it, hopefully I have.

With love and best of luck for your success.

Welcome @PNDshame. God yes the recycling bin. I usually try and put the bottles at the bottom hidden by my empty milk bottles on top. I do find it interesting to have a nose at everyone else’s. A lot have zero. Some are like mine. Very few are worse.

I also had a shocking night. Not bad dreams because I’m just not sleeping. I think it’s a combination of factors (I’m not in my own bed tonight for example) but it’s awful waking up feeling so drained.

Thank you for sharing @SpringNotSprung, how worrying for you. Although I don’t drink everyday I am certainly noticing I’ll health effects of drinking. Wishing you all the best for your future appointment.

@Thepeppapigfanclub - thanks I wasn't sure what I would be walking into. I am going to a hypnotherapist tomorrow night who deals with addiction.

My son says I need to go to a meeting everynight for the next 2 weeks - how often do you attend them and what have you gotten from them?

@Mummykins54 Well I haven't been for a good few years so going back on Saturday will be my first time. I only went once a week because that is when my child is with their dad. If I could go to one a day for a month I absolutely would. There's a lot more laughs there than you might think. I always came out clear of my reasons for stopping and I never wanted to drink after I'd been to a meeting. The people will be friendly. I hope your son is going to support you too an realises how hard it is.

@SpringNotSprung I'm so sorry to hear your upsetting news - what a worry. I really hope that you get all the help that you need and will be sending you good thoughts.

@PNDshame The moderation loop! Story of my life! How have you got on today?

I won't lie - I've found it quite hard today.

@Thepeppapigfanclub I won't lie - I've found it quite hard today.

Me too - my first port of call after leaving work is the wine shop. My friend says that I will meet so many interesting people at AA from all walks of life and you can go to different meetings - does not have to be the same one each time. There are so many meetings in my area - it is scary - there must be a real need out there. Hope you feel betterx

@Mummykins54 Sorry you've found it hard today too. The first one will probably be the hardest. Have you decided when you're going?

@Thepeppapigfanclub work has been murder today so probably Friday night as I have an apt with a hypnotherapist tomorrow night who helps with addiction and has good reviews x

Yous all doing amazing. Ive volunteered to swap from day shift to night shift to give myself a 3 day head start. I know on Friday morning I'll be thinking yah, it's wine tonight, so I'm not going to go to bed until about 8 pm that night... sounds a bit drastic I know x

DH is drinking wine tonight. He can take it or leave it (always has been able to moderate).
I asked him to take my wine off the shopping list and said I was taking a break. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be difficult not joining him but it’s actually a really good reminder of why I need to stop… I don’t think many people start drinking on a Wednesday and I never used to. Would always wait until Friday night but over time it’s crept forward to earlier in the week. My body just isn’t reacting the way it used to when I was only drinking two nights a week. I don’t want to spend half my week hungover.