It's day 1! Anyone else?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

I'm 45. I've been drinking a bottle/bottle and a half a night for as long as I can remember with the odd dry January/ Stoptober along the way - but I always end up back on the wine again.

I'm a parent to a 13 year old and the shame that comes with this is crippling. It's not good and I know I HAVE GOT to stop. I am sick of the self-loathing, the fear, the anxiety and the money down the drain. Most of all, I'm worried about shuffling of this mortal coil leaving my child before I should.

So it's day one (again) for me. I just wondered if anybody else has picked this as their day one too for some support.

Any tips for the first week?

Many thanks - there's some seriously inspirational people on here reading some of the other threads - I'm in awe of all of those who've made it to six months, a year and beyond. It feels beyond my grasp.

@Mummykins54 bless you. It's one mid step on your planned path. You haven't broken anything irreversibly. Try not to beat yourself up. I don't believe you have to dump yourself back in your head to day 0. You are still moving forwards xx

• mis-step

Ah @Mummykins54 . I hope you're ok. That crushing sense of disappointment is awful - nothing but sympathy. Are you planning on sticking with AA and getting back on the wagon?

Look how far you've come. Remember how nervous and worried you were about going to AA the first time? You ARE taking action against the problem. Please don't give up. We're all rooting for you. 💐

I think it’s all to easy to assume we can do this in one go. I’m taking it a day at a time.

Thanks @Thepeppapigfanclub . Overwhelm is everything isn't it. I feel overwhelmed constantly daily and I see, no I SAW - wine as a "reward". I have to get into my head that it isn't. The thought of never drinking again, or for X event totally petrifies me so I just have to not go there as it has always tripped me up before, and give myself a real fighting chance.

We are all in great company here.

@Mummykins54 that sounds really tough. I hear that your son is advising AA and asking you to go. I am guessing you are in a bad place (both of you)? It is very very hard when someone wants you to change. If you can make the desire to change come from deep within yourself you might find it works better for you?

No shame here, never, just so much support, especially coming into the weekend AND the sun coming out: 2 massive triggers for me and many others I'm sure.

@Steppered I know exactly what you mean. It absolutely petrifies me too. I've associated (deliberate past tense) wine with everything - good day/bad day/ boredom/ loneliness/ depression/ anxiety/ celebration/ hot days/ cold days - and on and on it goes.

We didn't get here overnight though and look at how alcohol is marketed to us? Look how we market it to each other? There's going to be a lot more to this than not just picking up a drink. Lots of analysis - self and otherwise. It doesn't help that it is literally EVERYWHERE.

It won't be like this forever. I haven't heard one person say they wished they were still drinking. It's very easy to forget the panic and reason 'why' in the first place and for it to become less urgent. We can do it. It's like being on a rollercoaster at the minute though. One minute I'm feeling free - the next I'm 'mourning' the loss. If it was that great we wouldn't all be here though.

I can't tell you how glad I am I started this thread though. It's been an amazing help.

I'm going to have a takeaway tonight and I've got the Becks Blue in because I can't conceive a curry without a 'beer' yet. Also got some ginger beer and some limes in to really go wild if needed. 😂

I hope you've all got plans that aren't going tough.

@Thepeppapigfanclub @MamaGhina @Steppered @BrassicaBabe thanks all tonight is meeting number 6 - have been there last Friday.

They are all different - there is one I would never go back to as I felt worse when I left than went I went in!

As for the eating - my diet has went to pot - my am going through a divorce but my husband wfh and I came home to a cooked dinner every night - now wine is my dinner😱 Bad bad habit

@Mummykins54 It's hard to eat when you are stressed and anxious. I've lost track of all the details but have you been to see your GP? Would they not be able to discuss some more options with you? 💐Maybe you need more support.

@Thepeppapigfanclub I have a community liason officer coming to see next week for a chat - she does hypnotherapy - I am also on diazepam which does help. It is easy to just fire in a baked potatoe in the microwave or a pot noodle though I demolished a tub of mango pieces last night lol

@Mummykins54 A whole tub of mango pieces you say! 😂I hope she can offer you some more support. You'll have to let us know how the hypnotherapy goes and if it's any good.

Umm...hummus with a spoon here. Used my finger at the end when the spoon wouldn't get the bits left 🤣

Just adding my support @Mummykins54 - I’ve read a lot of people start with stitching a few days of sobriety here or there and going to the meetings (even the awful ones!) is such a great start. Don’t lose faith in yourself.

I am commencing my Friday night with a bubble bath! I am properly tired, even with some decent nights’ sleep packed in, which I think is a good thing. Clean bed sheets await as well. Have loved the weather and big rainstorms today, though the sunshine next week won’t be unwelcome either

I'm on day 4 and went to the shopping looking for a wine or g&t replacement and came across J20 spritz. Put in a wine glass with a ton of ice and sliced fresh limes and it felt like...something. Enough to battle the cravings anyway

I slept well last night 🥳 I feel human again.

Tbf the last couple of days have been max "August overwhelm". But it has underlined for me the importance of HALTT. When I'm tired and overwhelmed I skip meals etc, energy crash etc.

I'm starting my day 1 today. I've had enough. DH and I have had a long chat and agreed we both need to stop. Properly stop. We are both as bad as each other. Last night I drank 2 G&T and a bottle and half of red wine. We often do this on a Friday. The rest of the week is wine most nights with the odd night off. Half to 1 bottle on those nights. I'm gaining lots of weight and I feel tired and sluggish all the time. We are not getting any younger (we are both around 60) and I need all the energy I can get.

We have now been through our cupboards and the wine fridge (henceforth to be known as the juice fridge). So there is no alcohol in the house. We have stashed some stuff if in the garage attic for Christmas or any other gathering where we might offer alcohol. I find it hard to access the attic so there is little chance I will go and raid it. I think it's a good start.

Morning all!

I hope you're all doing well!

@BrassicaBabe So glad you got some sleep! I didn't. The mad dreams continue... feeling great though comparatively speaking.

Welcome @ApolloandDaphne Wishing you lots of luck with this. I'm not in a position to be dishing out advice but I can say, even with poor sleep I feel 100 times better than when drinking. It's hard - but you can do it!

I was up at half 5 again. I still look such a mess so I went to get my hair cut first thing and bought myself a few new bits. Nothing fancy - a few new t-shirts, nail varnish, plant etc... I feel like I've been very, very good to myself this week. Still the money is better spent on me than the wine.

I'm loathed to say it because there is a bloody long way to go, but I'm starting to feel quite....good.

Hope you all have a great sober Saturday!

Hi everyone,

Please can I join? Back on here again after a couple of years…. I managed to totally give up alcohol the first time for about 6 months or so and then sadly it crept back in again. Last time I was drinking every night. This time it’s a couple at the weekend and now, once again, creeping into weekly drinking and almost every night. It’s the numbing effect I seek - mainly from the endless chores around the house and general stress of having children and being in the middle of a building site for the past4 years. Can hear banging now lol! Also copious problems with neighbours.

My children are all under 13, youngest is 4. I don’t want them to grow up seeing their mother drinking. I don’t get drunk as such and am usually in control but it totally affects my mood, anxiety levels and sleep patterns. The problem is that I am exposed to people who love a drink. Husband does, for example and if I refuse a wine my MIL will think that the world is literally about the end. 😂 I need help and support from everyone to do this. My main ploys to avoid drinking are usually saying I’m driving or ‘nursing’ a drink for a long time and then tipping away/back into bottle when no one’s looking 🫣

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Hello @Cloudsclouds6. It's amazing that you did 6 months! I've never got as far as a month! How did you feel during those 6 months?

Everybody is welcome. Sounds challenging if those around you are enthusiastic drinkers. How long are you aiming to stop for? Is your husband supportive?

If you've done 6 months before, you got some great experience behind you about the good bits and hard bits. It's so easy for it to creep back in. Good luck with it. The people on this thread have been such a great support.

Another day done and dusted and tonight out with friends was actually easy so that’s a relief!

I also suffer with this idea that I might be “letting people down” if I don’t drink but i am leaning more towards the camp that most people don’t care, provided they can continue doing as they like, which is fine.

Hope everyone else had good Saturdays.

@TimesaChangeling that’s amazing you got through the eve with no drink - I agree, if you just carry on with fun conversations etc I think people become unaware you’re not actually drinking!

Thank you @Thepeppapigfanclub for the welcome 😀 the last time I did six months was just by coming on here and writing on support groups together with reading a copy of Alan Carr (which essentially says you need to quit altogether i remember!). Suddenly the sober days become weeks and then months but then I crept back into weekend-only drinking, then Fri,sat,sun drinking and oh just one midweek etc etc and so it’s continues. It’s so so hard and I admire everyone on here trying to quit. I think it has to get to the point where you really want to do it and feel ready to cut alcohol out - for me I was intrigued to see what sobriety would bring. I did feel much better pmt wise and also I would say by far it improved my relationship with my children. This being another motivational factor this time.

This time I’ve also been focusing on ‘triggers’. If I’m honest I usually start thinking of a drink after a stressful day with the kids or after I’ve done a pile of work. It’s definitely the numbing feeling that I seek from it. A temporary warm fuzzy fix which sadly wears off and makes me feel even more unhappy and anxious than when I started - if that makes sense. So here I am - day 1. When I feel a trigger coming on I’m going to make a peppermint tea and then come and post on here in the evening..

I’ve just got back from our local and everyone was drunk apart from me - it’s such an eye opener what alcohol does to people. I’m not sharing this in a judgy way but just because we are all in this together and I’ve come to the realisation tonight that I don’t want to drink like that anymore and not be in control.

Starting again with a major hangover. I don't know how to be consistent. I've had 2 babies in 3 years. I've had long stints of not drinking but whenever I start again it seems to escalate more rapidly. I do not need it in my life but life with young kids is stressful and it's always been my treat. Read heaps of quit lit and it resonates but somehow I always go back to it. Any tips very welcome. I'm early 30s and don't want this cycle for the next 5 decades (God willing I live that long).

Morning all! I hope you are doing well.

@Whyisitsosohard Good morning! Sorry to hear about the major hangover and I think most of us can relate to using alcohol as a reward. How often are you 'rewarding' yourself? Stopping and staying stopped are two different things aren't they? Do you get much support with the little ones?

I'm only on day 14 so not in a position to be dishing out the advice. Would it help to use the money you are spending on alcohol on other treats? Easier said than done, I know. What are your aims? Are you hoping to moderate or to get rid of forever?

Hope you all have a great day!

@TimesaChangeling Bravo for 'getting through' a night out. No way could I do that yet. Hopefully it will be easier after the first time?

@Cloudsclouds6 How are you doing this morning?

@Mummykins54 I saw your other thread about AA, but didn't want the comment there. There has got to be other options for support without it being AA. Just the thought of a group meeting like that, even if the topic was flower arranging, fills me with horror! I hope you are able to find something that works a for you. 🥰

I slept through the night!!🥳 I mostly knew that waking in the early hours was an alcohol thing. I would always wake 2-3am. Awake enough to read the paper on my phone. I'm day 13 now (wow!) and that wakefulness has only gradually gone away. (I was starting to think it was a peri menopause thing instead of a wine thing)