The continuing support thread for living alcohol-free. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. Many thanks to @wendywagon for holding the reins on the last thread, and to drybird for starting the original thread about 3 years ago.
We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. There’s support here whatever your stage on that journey. Whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size, and have all been there too when things get challenging.
Thank you too @rep22 @onewildandpreciouslife for offering to back up host too. I thought there was someone else but I can’t find the post.

Sorry to hear things are rubbish.

It raises the biggest challenge of sobriety doesn't it - when life throws you rancid, miserable, razor covered lemons, how do people who are used to resolving the feelings with alcohol then make lemonade?

Hello everyone! Please may I come along?

I'm only on day 2. I was drinking A LOT (bottle and a half of wine a night) and even this was steadily increasing over time. I honestly am sure if I don't crack this, it's going to kill me.

It's been really helpful reading how other people are getting on.

Hello Peppa!
I’m on Day 18, I was just the same as you.
I’m doing the Dry January app, as I know it’s going to ask me at 9.15 every night if I’ve had a drink, so I just have to make sure I don’t.
The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley is very good, it helped me realise that there are thousands of women leading outwardly normal lives, who are actually drinking at dangerous levels.

zero beer and zero Tanqueray help at 6pm. And cheesecake and chocolate.

hello all, my irregular check in post. Welcome to the newbies, you've found the right place to have a hand hold and a cheer from the back row for every milestone.

@WendyWagon I cannot believe she f*cked you over again.. back to the drawing board and belief that something better will happen for you. Well done making it through sober, that is better win than anything.

Thank you @SoosanCarter Well done indeed for getting to day 18 and thankyou. I wish everyone continued success - you're the inspiration!

Can I join this thread too - already joined another two - drinking 2 bottles of wine a day and I need to stop. Have got the Annie Grace book and also listened watched various Tik Tok videos from former alcoholics which I can relate to.

Welcome @Mummykins54 and @Thepeppapigfanclub . How are you doing today?

Morning all.
Just done a big cheese interview but overseas company. Seemed to go OK. I can't sit on my bum much longer.
Son is away overnight so the house will be quieter. I have hidden a bit as it has been too noisy.

Morning all!

Thank you for asking @Onewildandpreciouslife It's day 3. Woo! I was absolutely hammered in my mental dreams last night - so I was glad to wake up from that. 😂Not as groggy as yesterday and starting to feel a bit better. I've got some time off work so good in one way as I have to think - but bad in another way as I've got too much time to think. It's been really good to be here. How are you?

Glad it went well @WendyWagon !

@Thepeppapigfanclub thank you. We go past a topiary Pepper each week whist on the uni run.
Daughter is poorly so making use of technology and wfh.
DS came home with washing, Jesus, I have been pegging out since Sunday. I feel like widow Twanky! 😄

@Onewildandpreciouslife I am cacking myself at the thought of attending an AA meeting although I know I need to or I am going to lose my kids and grandson

@WendyWagon Or Widow Twanky -Has you're washing dried. I'm doing the Famous 5 with lashings and lashings of ginger ale.

I'm finding the withdrawal (Day 3) quite hard today. Headachy...Groggy... How long did it take you to start feeling better?

@Thepeppapigfanclub I think it was about ten days before I felt better. The alcohol has left your system at that point I believe. I went to bed at 8pm each night. I was exhausted. After a month you will feel fabulous and look better.

@Mummykins54 don't lose your family for the sake of a drink.
I nearly lost mine. My children remember every episode. I was not the best mother I could be. I am ashamed but alcoholism is an illness and few can manage to kick the habit without experienced help. I did therapy, AA and this thread. I actually started to tell people I had been in the grip of the booze after about a year. Alcohol is all around us but it is not the only answer. Let someone help you. AA can give you a sponsor when you are ready. Talk to your doctor and get in plenty of sweets or biscuits (I like shortbread as its not too sweet). I am sending a big hug. The first time you walk through the door is the hardest, no one judges you. No one can discuss you either (rules of the group).

@WendyWagon thank you that means so much. I was a fab mum then the divorce kicked in dealing with an absolute idiot so I turned to drink. I am going to go to an AA meeting on Friday night as I have a hynotherapy session tomorrow night as I also need to move on from my ongoing divorce. Wine has substituted lonliness for me - a bottle and Netflix that has been my life recently

Hi @Mummykins54 and @Thepeppapigfanclub. Welcome. I'm really new to this too. Day 23. I'm still hoping to feel better but am exhausted!! Been so busy.

Really struggling this evening. Alone at home. Usually prime drinking time for me. Anxiety raging. Things not good with DP. Big life stuff still no clearer. Everything feels too much. This is why I liked drinking isn't it - it would just dull everything.

Nearly cracked at the shops earlier but didn't.

Hope everyone has a good evening. I should probably go to bed!

Did anyone read Quit Like A Woman? I'm only about a quarter of the way through - on the bit where the author rejects the idea of alcoholism. Rejects that we're just weak willed and unable to control ourselves. It's interesting

@drinktilisink Quite a few people don't like the word alcoholism. Alcohol dependancy seems to be the modern take. I had quite a few friends chew their lips at me. But that is just snobbishness. I haven't read quit like a woman but I do think women drink differently from men and are judged so much more.

Thank you for the welcome @drinktilisink. I'm so, so grateful for all the support. It is such a comfort reading through this thread and others. If I can crack this it will be the achievement of my life. So sick of the burden of it.

I haven't read 'Quit Like a Woman' yet. I'm off the opinion that we've been flogged a dangerous drug through clever marketing and once we become addicted (those of us that do) - the blame is shifted to us for being weak and lacking self-control. But I think I might be feeling a bit angry with it at the moment. 😂

Morning all.
I really loved Quit Like a Woman, although very mixed reviews on Amazon put me off reading it until I was quite a long way into my sober journey.
There are a surprising number of competing views on alcohol, alcoholism, addiction etc, but I’m not sure how helpful they are in the early days.
The only thing that matters is Do Not Drink - and work out the best way of achieving that for you.
The early days are exhausting because everything is so raw, but trust the process- it does get better if you give yourself the time to recover.
Im pretty glum at the moment and slightly regretting coming off the anti depressants, and escaping into a bottle is tempting, but I won’t

Morning all.

I have got up and can move a bit this morning. Hoorah.
I love autumn so I am just ticking the next few weeks off. I think the colours lift the spirits and it is new pencil time! Or new shoes if you are naughty.
I did the interview but it was weird. They were very late then it was super fast. Next I got asked my age! I doubt anything will come of it.
I did manage to stay away from the booze even though I am having doubts now about how I want to be. I don't want to start drinking again but I actually feel excluded from my friends social lives. I am meeting two of them tomorrow for breakfast so I will see if I am right about the lack of invitations.
Having been excluded for being an embarrassment I might find I'm excluded now for being sober.

I'm thinking that I might have to make some new 'sober' friends if I'm going to go the distance this time. My current ones are quite big drinkers and if I go out with them I'll be too tempted - at least for now and without sounding harsh, this is more important than them at the minute. I'm also not keen on telling my moderate drinker friends what I'm doing in case I fall flat on my face...AGAIN. It's quite a lonely place to be really at the minute.

I can't believe you were asked your age at an interview. Wow! It's not funny but...😂

Please may I join too?? What does everyone switch for alcohol cravings? My issue is I don't have anything I enjoy enough to have instead of alcohol - have tried sweets, chocolate, cheese, biscuits....I'm really struggling to find something to switch to. Any suggestion would be very very much appreciated, I need help so badly :(

@YouJustDoYou , hello!
I guess you’ve tried alcohol free drinks? I like Tanqueray Zero and the zero beers.
I’ve been eating sugary stuff but I think it’s making me restless at night.

I have, but I find they make it worse because the ones I've tried just don't taste nice? The best thing I actually found close to what helped when I tried stopping a few months ago was Aldi's own-brand fizzy grape Schloer-type stuff in the glass bottle, but they stopped doing it. I'll keep looking.