The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

@Shanster all sounds like positive thinking with plenty of clarity! I love the feeling of being sober and although life can be tough ... certainly is at the moment ... I can figure out how to move forward. Had a brilliant start to the year but all went wrong on Friday. So this is day 3.

I couldn't sleep last night ... kept thinking there must be something more I can do to not relapse. Thinking a bracelet that I ping when I feel like I can have just one drink? Or maybe open this thread to remind me not to have that first Prosecco because it will be followed by the bottle. Any ideas will be gratefully received. Happy Monday to you all

Morning all.
@halfthesun are there particular situations or feelings that trigger the relapse? Playing it forward works for me - forcing myself to think about what the 4th or 5th glass looks like, rather than the first. Maybe screenshot your post from yesterday so you have it to hand if you need a reminder?

I was hit by some really intense cravings yesterday. I just have lots of little niggles that are working on my mind and I just wanted a quick escape. Managed to push them down, but it wasn’t easy. Need to make some lists today to try to address the niggles!

Have a good day all

Morning

Not caught up on thread since Saturday morning (I think) but will be back later

Morning all.
Had a Clean Co faux gin last night. Not as good as Gordon's AF. Was home alone late afternoon and evening. That would have been a two bottler last year. I did have a 'what if' but husband had stripped the bed and it it is a bloody massive thing. Glad I have booked more counselling as bff now trying to entice me into her latest scheme, I have already said no. I will get bombared tomorrow. Putting my big girl pants on.

I bet you have fierce big girl pants Wendy!

@halfthesun its really hard to beat cravings based on willpower alone as it’s easy to slip into ‘don’t think about the elephant’ syndrome.

I find it’s helpful to ask my self ‘what do I really need right now?’ When the craving hits. (Some intense hormone related ones this weekend) sometimes, sitting down for five mins with a fancy glass of fevertree or the lime/mint squash helps. I say to myself.. I’m just going to take a minute.. and rather than numbing out or disconnecting I just stop!! If bands are more your thing then try brushing your teeth or using a strong mouthwash when the craving hits.. funny how wine is not so appealing afterwards!!

I have been reading but I don't post on days I don't have my laptop (I think MN has given up trying to fix my issue, I'd flounce and close my account if I didn't like it here so much and when I say here, I mean here - this group)

It's been a weird January, I have felt very flat and neutral and just "meh". Am hoping it's just circumstantial / seasonal as I hate feeling like this. I am just feeling the grind I think. I am on my own with the kids, I work from home, life is very monotonous and repetitive yet it is also busy and I am constantly fighting fires. This week I need to find childcare for Wednesday and have an overnight hospital stay with my little un [on Friday which isn't too bad in terms of childcare as Daddy can have them but it's still a hassle]

I just need to give myself a good shake. Life is what you make it after all.

I envy all the runners. I have arthritis (a different type to Wendy but I am 4 years diagnosed and my mobility and health haven't been the same since) Thankfully I am in a period of remission but I am never going to be a runner, not that I was before 😂

I need to get back to my walking though. Love, love, love walking.

@Stircrazyschoolmum and @Onewildandpreciouslife Hello! Thank you for ideas and support. Back to feeling strong and positive ... will use the technique of pushing it forward but will also use this thread and I am writing a message to myself on a reminder app - do not forget how bloody miserable drinking makes you feel!

I am currently selling my house, partner moving in, buying a house and getting married. So much positive stuff in my life but also a bit of stress ... I'm a sixth form teacher and striking Wednesday ... work is incredibly full on but I do love my job ... can't afford not to get a pay rise however.

Wishing you all every success

29 days sober today. I know it’s February in a few days but I have no urge to start drinking again whatsoever.

Sorry I haven’t been on here much, I’ve been doing the days!

I paid for the I am Sober app and I pledge every day, it’s really helped me to commit to it each day and I had to enter my own reason for quitting, so I can see that New Years Day I wrote “sometimes I can’t moderate and I put myself in danger.” That’s been helpful for grounding me, but also seeing the days tick on. Also having all the AF drinks in has helped for those moments - finishing work on a Friday, cooking a roast on a Sunday, just making sure I have an AF option I like available.

I still have the cut on my head from where I fell, I suspect it will scar and so I will have a permanent reminder and will see when I look in the mirror every day why I can no longer drink. I’ve cut a sweeping fringe in my hair to hide it at work (I have a fairly good job and have to work in the office twice a week so it’s hard to hide) but I still think people have clocked it and must wonder whether it’s self inflicted, as I have been open about doing Dry Jan.

@halfthesun I think it’s a really personal thing. What is your why?

@Zebrasandfairytales Hello, I have just downloaded the app, I am sober - thank you. Will pledge at 7am and 8pm. My why? Why I drink? I drink because I seem to think that one or two drinks are ok ... that I can stop. I want to stop because I have a great life sober ... lovely family and I am a paranoid nightmare when drunk

Let me know how you get on with it @halfthesun - I have similar pledge times, I also find it helpful to review how I have felt that day, what I was doing/feeling and identify any triggers. I think I’ve realised already just how much time and energy I was losing through drinking - looking back through the months my first few entries my mood and energy was still all over the place, now I feel much stronger and having so many less anxious and tired days.

I also read in one of my books that doing the first bit, the first week or month over and over again is like doing the hard bit on repeat. Because once you get over that hump you reap more of the rewards. So I’ve vowed to do this for at least six months and give myself a really good crack at feeling the sober benefits. I’m not sure once I’m that far I’ll ever want to go back. I want to be a better parent, have more energy, be healthier, have more money, not put myself at risk etc etc.

I think being conscious of my reason why every day has really helped me, but I think I am probably more in the region of a grey area drinking/occasionally problematic rather than alcohol dependent (I know those terms can be controversial in the sober community but I hope that makes sense)

I've had a weird night this evening...haven't drunk and have no intention of drinking but all of a sudden for some reason the wine witch was on my shoulder. I can't explain why. Just an hour or so of 'a nice glass of red would be nice' and then thinking about having a beer or a cocktail on holiday. I've no idea where this came from.

I did the pay it forward thing and actually that helped - I can imagine only too well how I'd feel and behave after my third or fourth glass and I definitely don't crave that. I'm now in bed with a hot choc and my book! Just so odd to have such an intense feeling about it out of nowhere!!

@SillyLittleMargaret sorry that you had a tough night but excellent that you didn't succumb ... Hope you feel wonderful about that this morning! Only day 4 here but after support from the lovely vipers of Mumsnet and the app I feel even more confident that I can do this!

Thank you @Zebrasandfairytales will certainly let you know / hoping it is the best money I have spent since ... actually haven't spent money on anything now for ages. Bloody inflation.

Wishing you all happiness

Morning all.
All quiet on the Weston Front.
Off out to lunch. Many catch ups and scoffs this week.
Friend looks like to be buying a pub. Not for me and I shall be moving away so no temptation. Her partner is a chef but non drinker, a rare one.

Morning all.
It’s 1 February and I have a snowdrop flowering in my garden! Spring is coming.
Hope everyone is going OK. Waving at anyone who’s just done Dry January and wondering whether to keep going. You can gain soooo much by choosing to be completely alcohol free - just take it one day at a time.

Morning all

All good here. I've lost half a stone since Xmas which I am pleased about. I definitely feel better for it.

Impressed with everyone's running, I no longer do it due to injury but love walking and yoga (better for my over 50 bones too!)

@WendyWagon liking my new Sister & Sister moisturiser thanks for the recommendations

Morning all, I look and feel like poop.
The dog is suffering from separation anxiety. Will not sleep anywhere but with me. New baby bedtimes are doing me in. Off out for breakfast with 'for the love of God ' we are wearing carnations!
Need the full English.
@Kindtomyself glad you like it. The moisturiser is reducing my spider scar. Vit C does that.

Survived dry jan and will be 5 weeks sober tomorrow! This is the longest I've gone without a drink in the last 14 years.
A question for the long-time........Do the occasional intrusive thoughts ever go away completely??? My rational mind knows I can't moderate but part of me keeps wanting to "test" myself to see if I could have "just the one".........
I know I can't give in because 1 drink = 1 bottle + and then a hangover and then another drink to shift the hangover and secret afternoon drinking and evening drinking and 3am sweats and anxiety......
I never want to be trapped in that miserable cycle again.
And then having to do a DIY detox again and the shakes and palpitations and just hoping I wouldn't have a seizure (I didn't but I'd read about them online and was scared)
Sorry, I've really waffled on then. Thanks for reading. This page is a brilliant support, ladies.

@Yerroblemom1923 im almost at a year and yes and no to the thoughts. They haven’t completely gone, but they are not intrusive in the same way. I just get the odd pans maybe every couple of weeks. For me randomly not when I would expect them but sat on the sofa on a Sunday afternoon. Not a time when I would have a drink. So many other things are so much easier. Christmas was a breeze, birthdays hold no fear of failure. I’ve also been on two holidays and a girls night away. Plus a visit to my parents. All of those were vastly better because I wasn’t drinking.

@WendyWagon i can’t believe I forgot to ask for a skin moisturiser suggestion today - a proper lovely chat though.

Morning all. Getting back into my routine of early rising as a good start to the day but I have to admit I do feel tired which is a shame because I don't feel as bouncy in the day. I can't go to bed any earlier or I'll be in bed at 7!

@Fortheloveofgodwhy and @WendyWagon glad you managed to meet up.

Morning all. Welcome newbies and it’s always nice to spot so many different milestones! A month, a year, etc. Very impressive, congrats!
To the poster asking about intrusive thoughts - I think this is different for everyone. For me, the number and intensity of alcohol related thoughts have reduced so so much. At almost three years in I rarely have them now, and when I do they feel quite “distant”, they don’t have much power over me any more. I almost value those thoughts when the happen though, as they force me to remain vigilant.

January is often a hard month and I did have a few lows this year but I had many more highs and it wasn’t too bad. I do look after myself well now - I sleep, exercise and try to eat well and drink plenty of water. For me, those are the things that keep me sane and help me through tough times (which I do have like most people).

@Kindtomyself well done on the weightless, I’m glad you notice the difference and feel better🙂

In bed at 7 sounds like bliss!! 🤣 I’m waking earlier and earlier 5:15 today. Not sure what that is about but enjoying a cuppa back in bed and catching up with the world before anyone else wakes up.

Morning all, all good here. Therapy Thursday. However did burn our friends ear off when I met 'for the love of God' yesterday.
I don't think I have confessed so many things to one person!
Our rental flat being valued today. Need to shift and get the hoover out.

Morning all.
I’m currently reading “How to Overcome your childhood” by the School of Life.

The book is recommended by Catharine Gray in Unexpected Joy, and I’m still in the “issues” part. It’s one of those books where I find myself going “ohhhh, of course that’s why I react why I do”.

So, for example, it talks about having parents who only seem to value you for your achievements:
“As their child, one will have to put extra effort into the delicate task of finding oneself valuable and worthy outside of achievement, not because of anything one has said or done, but just because one exists–which should always, of course, have been enough.”

— How to Overcome Your Childhood by The School of Life
amzn.eu/dGMsEKd

I haven’t read the “overcoming” part yet, which will be the interesting bit!

Hope everyone is doing ok, especially if Friday is your biggest challenge- sober Saturdays morning are glorious, so eyes on the prize!

Morning all.
Thanks for the book recommendation @Onewildandpreciouslife, I will check it out.

I have realised that tiredness is a big trigger for me and I struggle to know what to do with myself. I ate loads yesterday because I felt so hungry but I'm not sure whether that was due to tiredness. And yes @Fortheloveofgodwhy 7pm to bed does sound like bliss however I would barely see my kids cos I only get in from work at 5.30/6!