The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

Morning all
reading this morning’s posts I’m thinking how positive to read about runs and classes and people just generally challenging themselves. Also that there is a sense support whatever you do or don’t do - have a fab Friday and here’s to a good weekend.

@Kindtomyself - it’s quite eye opening to delve into this. Its also a horrible feeling to think that I am doing to my DC what my parents (more so my mother) did to me - that’s a whole other level of shame and guilt - and another reason for me to get myself sorted and hopefully repair some of the damage as they develop into fully grown adults who will have their own families in the not too distant future.

ironically I did a counselling course a number of years ago so previously I thought I could “analyse” myself and understand/fix my “issues” - but it doesn’t quite work like that!

happy Friday everyone and here’s to a sober weekend if you can. If you can’t stay AF for whatever reason - I hope you can have a good weekend with no drama. I am really looking forward to having friends over on Saturday night and enjoying the evening being fully present and knowing I won’t be waking up with hangixety on Sunday!! ❤️

Morning all. Terrible night with loose dog on/in the bed.
DD had a bad day yesterday. I hope and pray today is better. I will be picking her up late afternoon for a weekend chez Sav.
Business dealings all over the place but bff didn't turn up.
I had my counselling session and my therapist was opened mouthed at the antics. She confirmed a few things I had known for years. I too am a people pleaser. My mother didn't want me (a mistake). I hid behind my nan who died when I was 13, the following year I took to the booze. My mother and I had a good relationship later on but she only appoligised a few weeks before she died. I was nobodys favourite. I think with my bff her 'obsession' with me was flattering. Someone outside the family loved me! But I have paid a high price for it over many decades. I have a little guilt but that is the price I am paying for boundaries.

Checking in before the weekend.

Boundaries are so important. Current DH gets away with NOTHING (lessons learnt from previous one) Result of keeping the boundaries good is better relationships overall. Those who try to abuse your boundaries will bale out if they keep banging their heads!

A weekend of meetings related to my voluntary role and a local gig tomorrow night. DH is still pretending to do Dry January, so it will be interesting to see how he behaves.

2 months and 6 days sober this time following a 204 day streak last year. Only one day separates the two,

another one checking, @WendyWagon have a lovely weekend with your DD and try and keep your mind away from the drama!

enjoy your exercise classes/runs/swims or relaxes.

Checking in to wish everyone a happy, healthy and peaceful weekend. I've just sent DH out to buy me more fevertree and toffee pudding. (historically that would've been wine!) Looking forward to a quiet night in front of the telly and a hangover free Saturday morning watching kids play sport.

The therapy stories are all so interesting.. I've never questioned things I might think normal that others wouldn't (apart from my historical capacity to neck large glasses of wine and a compulsion to ALWAYS clear my plate which led to all sorts of food and waste issues (I'm sure this links to finishing bottles of wine too.) The mind is fascinating!

Morning all. Meeting a friend later for food which will be lovely got football, shopping and cleaning first though!
Have a good day all

Morning! Just to report - run complete! Only a couple of miles but I feel the need to build back up gradually, don't want to ping my Achilles again and go back to square one. But still, felt good to be out and feel better now. Onwards and upwards (I'm booked on a half marathon in June )!

Well done @SillyLittleMargaret ! Getting out the front door is the biggest challenge, I find. My half marathon is at the beginning of April, but currently focusing on a 10k I’m running next weekend. Building up gradually sounds like a good plan.

Enjoy your meet up @Kindtomyself
Have a good weekend all

@Onewildandpreciouslife I love a 10k! Never tried a half though...good luck with yours. I can be very demanding of myself so trying to stay relaxed and focus on enjoying the process this time. I tend to go a bit mad, overtrain and get injured!

Just checking in. I read this thread which really I find really encouraging. I'm on day 23 now, although I think I would have cracked last night if it wasn't for this thread and the shed load of work I have to do this weekend.

Sneaking back in with an alcohol-in-food trigger warning.

January has been really hard this year, though on reading this thread I’m in awe of so many of you coping with far worse. I have handled several new situations without pouring a glass, but I did try a spoonful of Christmas pudding when we were finishing off the Christmas leftovers. I suppose as far as fuck-it buttons go it’s relatively small, but I hated myself afterwards. It tasted disgusting, and if I’d thought about it, or even taken the time to smell it, I’d have known that it would! I think I was a bit sad, I used to love Christmas pudding and figured that trying it after two years would be fine. Lesson learned. Next Christmas will be either homemade or some posh alcohol-free one ordered in good time rather than the cheapest looking one in the supermarket at the last minute. We had two bereavements over Christmas/New Year, two friends, so I’ve since taken myself in hand because I didn’t want to grieve my way back into a drinking habit. I’m trying a mindfulness and meditation programme which I think is helping.

Congratulations to everyone clicking over those milestones, from Bunnies with her 1000 days (just wow! 🤩), Wendy with her year, I’m pretty sure there was at least one other poster passing another year too, and of course everyone who is keeping on keeping on. It’s really inspiring reading about everyone’s running/fitness. My running, which had just restarted after covid last December, stopped again when I caught a cold that just wouldn’t shift. I think my immune system was shot after spending a few days looking after family with covid (and not drinking while I was there, I keep forgetting to be proud of that bit!). I’m starting running, gently, again next week. I did get my bike out at least once a week in January, although at least a couple of times I just rode around the block because either I was ill or it was just too cold.
Sorry for the essay. I’d been meaning to post for a few days.

@Blackberryblossom it sounds like you had a lot on your plate, yet you’ve made it through January, well done!

Oooh I’m so excited reading about everyone’s running! I’m hopefully doing a 10k this morning… If I can get out of bed🤪

welcome @MerylSqueak you’re in the right place for inspiration and support. Some fabulously thoughtful people on here.
@Blackberryblossom sorry to hear about your bereavement but well done for spotting the trigger and acting to avoid it. I had a home made Christmas pud in stock. I adore it. It did have some booze in it but we do burn 🔥 it off so I didn’t particularly notice the taste.

Good morning all. Up to a quiet house. The dramas have piped down (bff & DD). I had a pint of blue top milk last night to accompany my film watching. I can't quite imagine going into a bar and asking for that aperitif but you never know!
Busy week ahead with the landlord sending valuers in. Estate agents are not my favourite people. I can't wait to start my new journey elsewhere. Since I gave up the booze I have hardly been out but to be honest prefer a breakfast or lunch. I am home before it's dark and don't offer to pay so I can get another bottle in. We were always supper party people not really restaurant goers as I am normally out for work. I do feel confident saying no now but I hid in the early days. I did tell a new person last week that I use to drink a lot and tbh they laughed and said they did. I am at least twenty years older than her and I do worry for these girls. Alcohol is a nasty thief of a peaceful life.
Have a good day my friends.

Morning all.
Good to see you @Blackberryblossom - sounds like you’ve had a tough January but glad you’re looking after yourself
Hope you’re blitzing through your work @MerylSqueak - so much easier without a hangover
Getting out the door really is the hardest part isn’t it @BunniesBunniesBunnies ?! Have a great run

What I hadn’t realised about running until I was sober was just how much of it is governed by your mind rather than your body. I’m now much more conscious of my thought processes which helps with the running. So I KNOW that if I look at my watch to look at how near to my target distance I am, my legs will feel more tired. Just like we “play it forward” to ward off wine cravings, I did a lot of mind work yesterday to pull myself out of aiming for a target that I know would make me stressed and be negative -it’s that whole idea of building yourself up, not beating yourself up.

Sorry for rambling on - I need to do some work this morning so am obviously trying to avoid it!

Have a good day all

Good morning all and happy sober Sunday! You moving @WendyWagon? Far to many newbies to rewind and catch up on 🥴 well done to you all getting off the sauce. I'm still going AF since August 2022. I don't count the days anymore, the year sober milestone is my only focus. Child free weekend this weekend so yesterday I binged watched top boy on Netflix in my PJ's drinking tea! Up early this morning having my usual morning cuppa - no headache or blackouts from the night before. Love to you all xx

@rockingbird good morning. Yes moving, hopefully in 5 weeks time!
I am not counting days anymore.

I am super envious of all you runners. I use to be a competive middle distance runner into my twenties. The DH too. I now struggle to walk the dog due to the RA. When people say what do you enjoy exercise wise that was my thing. I am hoping to join a swim club when I move because that could give me belonging. I do like to belong.

Good morning! Tough few days and messed up badly. Drawing a line under it and starting again. Classic mistake of thinking I could just have a couple. No! This is not possible for me. So comforting to read all your stories ... Day 2

Good morning.
Just checking in quickly to say hi. I’ve really benefited from reading all the updates on here, so thank you all for sharing your stories and well done as so many of you seem to have dealt with stressful situations this week.

This is day 30 for me. I’m still finding it enjoyable. One thing that has become particularly apparent to me is how stressful being addicted to alcohol is. The stress of whether I have enough alcohol in the house. Of how to drink my usual quantity when I’m out with moderate drinkers. Of having plans in the evening that mean I can’t start drinking early afternoon on a weekend or as soon as I get home from work on a weekday. Removing that stress alone has made my life so much better. And that’s the stress that started before I’d even touched a drop. It’s truly freeing.

@FlightDeckBuckeroo I really relate to that, I posted on a previous thread about how liberating it suddenly was to go out and not have the constant worry and dread of drinking - how much, enough, how I'd behave...and then the 3am panic and hangover fear. None of that now and it's wonderful!
No Ron for me today, just finished a nightshift so a cup of tea and a bowl of porridge and blueberries and then off to bed! Have a lovely Sunday everyone

Run! I've no idea who Ron is and he definitely wouldn't want me after a nightshift!

Go runners go!! (I’ve walked the dog and gone back to bed with tea.. my watch hates me!!)

The thing I’ve found with running is you almost have to surrender to the process. Definitely mind over matter (and bladder!) If I can accept is just what I’ll be doing for the next X amount of time and don’t fight it, I find it almost meditative. Sadly swimming doesn’t have the same effect - I was never taught and can barely float, despite having my advanced diving qualification!

welcome to a more peaceful life @FlightDeckBuckarooo it still surprises me how much of my stress was self-inflicted. It really makes you question those who say they drink to relax doesn’t it? For me drinking took away the antsy feeling of waiting to start drinking.. it’s so corrosive, enjoy your liberation. xx

@SillyLittleMargaret enjoy your porridge - my fave brekkie this week. Sweet dreams of Ron! 🤣

Afternoon ladies! I tend to read the thread during the week but don’t have 2 mins to post unless it’s the weekend! Thinking about the stress of drinking; I totally agree that being AF lifts a load. I’m kind of surprised though that I have clarity my life overall. My job is full on, and incredibly stressful (people, possibly myself included might lose their jobs due to a massive fuck up that blew up last week). My 3 kids have their issues, 2 of them are ill just now and I’m balancing today if I can really leave for a week long planned work trip tomorrow morning. I thought for the longest time if I just stopped drinking, I’d have this zen life. I now think my life needs to change - different job maybe? I’m definitely the breadwinner, so that limits my options. The good thing is that instead of feeling sorry for myself, and pouring a glass of wine I’m more calm and pragmatic. This too shall pass….