Hello fellow Freedomers!! (made up word). I've been really busy again this week so just catching up with the thread. Looks like most of us are doing well with a few lapses by some - but that is par for the course as we know.
@WendyWagon - your friend sounds hard work indeed. I think sometimes we need to drop people for our own sakes but as people pleasers, we feel so guilty.
@Crunchymum - hope the overnight stay with DD goes as well as it can - picnic sounds awesome!
@Onewildandpreciouslife - thanks for the book shout out -I'm going to check that out!
@TheOtherHotstepper - don't let one blip side track you - before you know it, you will be looking at 9 months AF.
little update from me. Today is day 26 and I know I won't drink today - no cravings whatsoever (thankfully) and driving later so I feel very safe.
I've had two therapy sessions now and am feeling the benefit already. We are working on why I feel the need to always put others before me. My 'homework' has been saying no to things I only do to please others and doing more of the things that are just for me that make me happy. DH is wondering what has hit him lol as I am now saying 'nah, I don't want to do that/watch that/go there' when he suggests doing things that he likes but frames them as doing 'us/family' things. For example, he will say 'lets go out for a nice family meal' but then persuade us all to go to the restaurant he wants rather than takes turns of each of us choosing. So he had to go for a Thai meal last week which he thought he didn't like (hates lemongrass) and ended up saying it was one of the best meals he'd had!
In terms of doing things for me that make me happy - I decided to make more of an effort to contribute to the food bank trolleys in the supermarket. I have contributed at times but not on a regular basis. I also decided to put in cat food/treats as I have two myself and can imagine how bad it must feel if you can't feed your fur babies. It really made me happy but my therapist said...."even when you are supposed to be doing things 'for yourself', you are still thinking about others. What can you do just for you?"
I'm not trying to sound like this great saintly benefactor - she was pointing out how hard I find it to prioritise myself. I do sometimes treat myself to a massage but then usually feel guilty for spending money on non-essential things. So as @WendyWagon says, I am most definately still a work in progress too.
I'm still over compensating with food/treats and my clothes are getting pretty tight. Got our two trips coming up in March and April so I need to work on that now. So as someone else said, I think I will try a sugar free/low sugar February and try and shift a few pounds before we go.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend. If you are struggling, you are not alone - we've all been there. But we can do this 💪😘