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New Year Challenge - 100 days alcohol free. Anyone want to join?!

114 replies

S2P78 · 28/12/2022 09:23

Hello,

I know very well that my drinking has crept up to unhealthy levels in recent months again due to a difficult relationship period. I feel how low alcohol is making me, and it adds nothing to my life. I'm 44 and I really want to stop.

Would anyone like to join me in a 100 day challenge from 1 Jan? I managed 80 days last year and felt amazing, but since then my drinking has increased to really unhealthy levels and I feel really rubbish again.

Let me know if you might be keep to join for support!

Thanks.

OP posts:
FlightDeckBuckarooo · 14/01/2023 19:54

@Persephoned @frostyfours
the last 3 books I read were The Pact by Sharon Bolton, The Imposter by Anna Wharton and The Death of Mrs Westerway by Ruth Ware. They were all enjoyable, easy to get into and nice and distracting so did their job well. I’ve just started The Girls who Disappeared by Claire Douglas.

@findmybalance I hope your stomach settles soon. 15 days in I’ve definitely got more energy - hopefully you’ll start feeling it too. How is your sleep at the moment? Mine wasn’t great for the first few nights - and I had very intense dreams - but it’s settled now and is much better than when I was drinking.

earlyraisin · 15/01/2023 08:22

Ooh book talk, I loved The Things You Find In Rockpools, practically ate this last weekend, and the good thing is there's 3 books! Reading a Lisa Regan now.

I didn't go to the gig, which is probably a good thing as it would have been beery.

18 days! C'mon! We got this!

New Year Challenge - 100 days alcohol free. Anyone want to join?!
frostyfours · 15/01/2023 08:35

It's days like this where I am extra happy about being dry! DD woke us at 6am and it's not my turn for a lie in. I've made granola bars and her breakfast and am about to do a workout Smile

Have a good Sunday all and well done for 2 weeks in - time does start to fly once you're in the swing of it, will be 100 days before we know it.

Thank you also for the book recs, I started Woman on the Bridge last night, so far so hooked!

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 12:02

My first weekend done
What a lovely feeling!

Emnet23 · 16/01/2023 23:41

Doing Dry Jan, although I set 100 days on the app as my goal. All going ok, not half as hard as I thought, and much easier than other years when I've done DJ. Having done it most of the past 10 years, I know for certain that 1 month is nothing enough to change anything, so 100 days it must be.

My favourite quit book, Unexpected Joys of Sobriety makes a v valid argument for 3 months rather than 1, so I'm in, but I'm going to need a lot of help - mostly with boredom of it all when/if novelty wears off. I think the trick is to examine each day for specific benefits of being AF, look forward to tomorrow's bonuses of:
being at least better rested, no memory loss or hangover. No dread or hangxiety, no (additional) empty calories, no regrets or stupid arguments. Maybe a glimmer of self pride and self esteem. Strength and headspace for other things like....books and stories, new and old friends, peace.

Ok, that should do it. Night night you beauties. We can do this x

S2P78 · 17/01/2023 11:02

@Emnet23 What a brilliant message! Thank you. That's inspired me to keep going, although so far finding it quite easy i know there will be tougher times ahead.
Loving the book recommendations from people too...I'm really enjoying getting back into reading.
Moods all over the shop at the moment but I think that's to do with being a perimenopausal woman and keep telling myself it'd be worse with wine!!

OP posts:
Steppered · 17/01/2023 14:00

How's everyone doing?

I survived an impromptu pub visit at the weekend after an event, it was a bit tough for half an hour or so but it passed with a lime & soda.

I'm trying to work hard on sorting out my sh1t. I drank to mask all the feelings and now they're popping up. So I am throwing myself into journalling, affirmations, gratitude, meditation, yoga, exercise and tracking all this.
(Mel Robbins podcast is good for tips on making plans).

I do feel a bit like sobriety is a full time job, listening to the poscasts and reading the material but it is massively helpful. Sassysobermum on instagram is amazing, love her podcasts. (I set up a special secret sober insta, I'm not on it otherwise).

There is an annoying voice ("wine witch") going ... wellllll, if you sort your shit out then sure you can have the odd glass of wine, hmm, hmmmm . It's quite annoying but I know I do not want to drink now or in January. I really want 100 days. Even after 2 weeks I feel so much better.

FlightDeckBuckarooo · 19/01/2023 07:41

Good morning.
I might copy your idea and create myself a sober instagram @Steppered
So far I’ve listened to the audiobook of Alcohol Lied to Me and am currently listening to Alcohol Explained. I’m dipping in and out of The unexpected Joys of Being Sober and my next quitlit is Tired of Thinking About Drinking. I do feel like I’m studying for an exam a bit, but so far they’ve all been helpful and I wouldn’t be going for 100 days+ without them that’s for sure.

I hope it’s ok to post this as I posted also on the Dry Jan thread on chat. I just wanted to share my really positive Sunday- and although it wasn’t the most exciting day ever, I had a bit of a sliding doors moment comparing my sober self to how I would normally be. And my sober self was just so blissful in comparison.

I had some work to catch up on for a deadline. I could have done it over Christmas, but in all honesty when I wasn’t busy I was too tired and hungover to even contemplate working. So I did it this weekend. The level of focus and drive I had was SO different to my usually weekend work efforts. I actually enjoyed myself (ok I’d probably have preferred not to have had to work but still…). I did a good thorough job and only left one small bit I couldn’t finish at home. Had I been drinking this weekend I’ve have done the bare minimum grumpily (and probably not very well) in front of the tv or similar.

Whilst I was working DH took DD to activity. At the venue there was a dramatic and serious accident. Dd was taken to a different area, and DH stayed to offer help - although he was very much on the periphery. He was a bit shaken up when they got home, and used this as a reason to have wine with lunch. Normally when he drinks I do too and I would have been rushing to finish my work asap so I could join him in ‘relaxing’ with a wine. I would have been anxious until I had my glass. It felt SO SO liberating not be in this trap. It was the best feeling if I’m honest.

Id been put on the guest list for a show on Sunday evening. On a drinking weekend there is no way I would have considered going at all. I’d have been too tired, Too stressed and anxious about Monday and work, and, as I’d have joined DH on the wine I’d also be a bit tipsy and probably planning as early a night as I could get a way with in order to be as ok as possible for work in the morning. Anyway I wasn’t any of these things so at a time I’d usually be sat on my sofa I got on the tube to central london by myself instead. I wandered around a bit enjoying looking at the buildings whilst drinking a herbal tea(!) before watching a very entertaining show. It was a fab evening!

it just felt so stark - the difference between how relaxed and enjoyable my sober Sunday had been - even though I had quite a lot of work to do - and how ‘nothingy’ yet stressful my drinking Sunday would have been. A real turning point for me I think. I just wanted to share because it made me so happy.

Today I’ve got a Drs appointment and am having some blood tests. I can’t pretend I’m not petrified. I’ve been such a heavy drinker. I don’t have any symptoms I’m worried about partially, but I know lots of damage is silent damage. I kind of wish I could bottle this feeling too though. If I start drinking again not only will I lose the beautiful freedom I felt so clearly on Sunday, but I also risk killing my self. It’s so not worth it.

And on that note, have a lovely day everyone :-) Thank you for this thread.

findmybalance · 19/01/2023 16:17

Lovely posts.

I'm on a week today, and doing well. Echo Pp about having time and space for things I didnt before.

frostyfours · 23/01/2023 19:02

Hey all! How is everyone doing? I'm feeling very used to being 'dry' and not having any cravings or anything.

went to a new friend's house for a dinner party with a few other couples at the weekend and had no desire to drink. I can be quite shy as well but as we were well catered for with non-alcoholic drinks and no judgement at all from the other couples (who were all drinking), it felt pretty easy to get through. My DD also has a slight cold at the mo and waking overnight so was very glad to not be suffering with a hangover!

Hope everyone else is feeling into the groove as well. Here's to another week!

Emnet23 · 23/01/2023 22:26

@Steppered you make a great point re it being a full time job being AF. I'm struggling a bit, not craving a drink but craving the shiny happy glow I've had all month. Today I even had the most awful anxiety at work for no reason. I used to feel this dread and fog every Monday, and thought it was just a hangover and fatigue after a heavy weekend. It is such an awful feeling, and such an anchor holding me back from being really successful at work. It was one of my key reasons to pack it in. So I'm gutted that I felt that way today. Esp as I had a great productive AF weekend - I even danced and was DD at a wedding

Sounds like you had a good one too @frostyfours that new friend could be a keeper.

Night night you lovely folk. Let me know how you are all keeping the vibe going. I guess we just keep doing the work as they say ☺️

Steppered · 24/01/2023 14:17

@Emnet23 hey, I had one of those days yesterday too. And my mind is on the go, constantly! But thankfully I feel better today - more shiny!

"It's not a bad life, it's a bad day. Breathe."

I'm getting the moderation voice creeping in now which is a bit tiresome. It's all taking up a lot of headspace. But I feel really good and am just trying to ride it out.

How's everyone doing?

Emnet23 · 25/01/2023 22:10

@Steppered that moderation thought is creeping creeping. Tonight I played the HALT game, (if any haven't come across this, it's acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, key triggers for wanting to drink) I wolfed down my dinner, and then found a way of cuddling a handy DC who didn't put up a fight 😜 to counter loneliness/solitude space I previously would have filled with a glass of wine - and got some bonus parenting time in. Tired, probably, so couldn't be arsed to even move, just in bed, contemplating if I can be arsed to get out to remove makeup, find elusive moisturizer, find elusive charger. Anyway, it worked. Day 24, and £120 richer according to app?!?! Sheesh, 100 days = £500 (and that is based on poss not the most honest 'normal' drinking estimate I gave!)

Emnet23 · 28/01/2023 08:25

Well hello everyone, it's gone a bit quiet here, I hope you are all thriving and winning everyday. All good here, having to dig a bit deeper as time goes on. Had to buy wine and beer for guests last night, and ooooooohhhh it was hard. I didn't get huge pressure to drink from them, mostly inside my head (DJ pretty much over, you deserve it after v tough week at work, yadadadadada) but managed to whiteknuckle it by binge drinking 0% beer 😀Poured 2 into a pint glass to make it feel more like a naughty. Writing this makes me realise how very ridiculous that is!

It was an intense week at work, and stuff just piling up and up. Next week is huge, lots of meetings with big cheeses about stuff in my area. So plenty reason to grab onto every advantage I can muster. I guess this AF focus, clarity and confidence is all part of the toolkit. So onwards. Off for a run now, and nearly looking forward to it. So here's to the Sober Saturday morning that really is a game changer for me.

I'd love to hear from everyone else to keep the motivation going! We've got this!!

frostyfours · 01/02/2023 08:04

Doing well here, no temptation to stop. Sleep is so deep, my head is so clear, I'm so much more tolerant and I just can't complain. Hope everyone else is finding it okay Smile

S2P78 · 01/02/2023 11:11

Doing well hear! Didn't even notice end of January and going into Feb determined to stay sober....feel SO much better for it. Just more balanced I'd say and happier - and everything from work to relationship is benefitting.
I'm anxious about my upcoming holiday though as it's to Cape Town, and my friend has booked one of the vineyards there. Eeeeeek! Any tips on staying sober on holiday welcome as this will be the biggest challenge yet. It's felt easy so far - except for one gig which was a mini challenge but mainly because I felt tired standing up for so long!!

OP posts:
frostyfours · 01/02/2023 18:00

Ooh when are you off to CT? Lucky! One of my goals is to have a few dry days during a holiday as I didn't manage that last year - did 297 dry days over the year but only 1 of those was in the total 18 days (2 separate hols) I was away 😩

S2P78 · 02/02/2023 09:16

@frostyfours next week - I know, I can't wait! I will stay sober and given will do trips to vineyards I'll be v proud of myself!! Biggest challenge yet - as I've never in my life (since age 16) had a sober holiday...
I hear you on the tolerance front. Stuff that bothered me drinking doesn't touch the sides now. My relationship is benefitting massively too after a tough last year when we nearly split up. Pretty sure my drinking was partly behind that, although not taking all the blame!

OP posts:
Emnet23 · 03/02/2023 00:54

Lucky you @S2P78 and you deserve the treat! I'm visiting family, so made it through airport and flight without having a drink - that hasn't happened since I was about 16!! Duty-free had sold out of AF gin, which was annoying. Anyway declined glass of wine when I got here as well. Think that caused raised eyebrows!!

Next couple of days will be challenging but, hey, I can do this (can't I??) This lot are very good time social drinkers - won't give me any pressure, but will make it look like such fun🤐

frostyfours · 16/02/2023 22:52

How did it go @S2P78 ??

crystalarter13 · 25/02/2023 19:47

Hows everyone getting on??? I've managed to get to day 250 af! Next target 300 days 😊

Emnet23 · 26/02/2023 00:30

Hey there @crystalarter13 that is bloomin fantabulous!! 250 days. Massive congratulations to you on such a great milestone. I'm on 56 days. Finding it a bit hard right now........still enjoying the clarity and not missing it too much, but it's the 'go on go on, you've proved your point' voice. Lots of pubgoing around me this week - which I can't be bothered with, but was tempted today. But had a massive win this evening - had an emergency call which meant I had to drive somewhere. I Know. Me...sober on a Saturday night!! That's pretty unlikely to find me able to drive any Saturday night for past 30 years. I'm so glad I could deal with it!! What a great reminder of the benefits of this - or more so the downside of drinking.

crystalarter13 · 26/02/2023 08:57

Emnet23 · 26/02/2023 00:30

Hey there @crystalarter13 that is bloomin fantabulous!! 250 days. Massive congratulations to you on such a great milestone. I'm on 56 days. Finding it a bit hard right now........still enjoying the clarity and not missing it too much, but it's the 'go on go on, you've proved your point' voice. Lots of pubgoing around me this week - which I can't be bothered with, but was tempted today. But had a massive win this evening - had an emergency call which meant I had to drive somewhere. I Know. Me...sober on a Saturday night!! That's pretty unlikely to find me able to drive any Saturday night for past 30 years. I'm so glad I could deal with it!! What a great reminder of the benefits of this - or more so the downside of drinking.

Thank you... feel so much better for it as well not even missing it at all... well done you 👏 👍

S2P78 · 26/02/2023 13:12

@frostyfours Well done everyone!! I'm back from holiday in Cape Town and did two weeks with plenty of vineyard trips where I just admired the views and didn't drink any booze. I was very proud of myself as that was a big trip I'd save up for to see my oldest friend - and she insisted on not drinking too to support me (though I told her she was v v welcome to drink obviously!!) Anyway, had a brilliant time, and did a lot of outdoor exploring. Weirdly the long haul flight was the biggest test as I've never been on one where I haven't drunk lots of the wine...Now 57 days sober and not even thinking about drinking and really determined to stick with no booze. I want to do a year!!! I feel so much better and just everything in life, including my relationship, is so much better....

OP posts:
frostyfours · 26/02/2023 22:21

Amazing @crystalarter13 !

And @S2P78 you are my inspo. I'm so glad you had an amazing time and your friends sounds an absolute gem. Last year I did 298 af days but sadly both holidays were a case of a couple of drinks every day. Not sure why that happened particularly for the first holiday in May where I hadn't had a drink for 140 days leading up to it. Then from day 2-day 8 it was daily drinks.

My mission this year is to have some af days on holiday, more af days than not. I just need to tap into how much better my mental health and well-being is without a drop!