Good morning.
I might copy your idea and create myself a sober instagram @Steppered
So far I’ve listened to the audiobook of Alcohol Lied to Me and am currently listening to Alcohol Explained. I’m dipping in and out of The unexpected Joys of Being Sober and my next quitlit is Tired of Thinking About Drinking. I do feel like I’m studying for an exam a bit, but so far they’ve all been helpful and I wouldn’t be going for 100 days+ without them that’s for sure.
I hope it’s ok to post this as I posted also on the Dry Jan thread on chat. I just wanted to share my really positive Sunday- and although it wasn’t the most exciting day ever, I had a bit of a sliding doors moment comparing my sober self to how I would normally be. And my sober self was just so blissful in comparison.
I had some work to catch up on for a deadline. I could have done it over Christmas, but in all honesty when I wasn’t busy I was too tired and hungover to even contemplate working. So I did it this weekend. The level of focus and drive I had was SO different to my usually weekend work efforts. I actually enjoyed myself (ok I’d probably have preferred not to have had to work but still…). I did a good thorough job and only left one small bit I couldn’t finish at home. Had I been drinking this weekend I’ve have done the bare minimum grumpily (and probably not very well) in front of the tv or similar.
Whilst I was working DH took DD to activity. At the venue there was a dramatic and serious accident. Dd was taken to a different area, and DH stayed to offer help - although he was very much on the periphery. He was a bit shaken up when they got home, and used this as a reason to have wine with lunch. Normally when he drinks I do too and I would have been rushing to finish my work asap so I could join him in ‘relaxing’ with a wine. I would have been anxious until I had my glass. It felt SO SO liberating not be in this trap. It was the best feeling if I’m honest.
Id been put on the guest list for a show on Sunday evening. On a drinking weekend there is no way I would have considered going at all. I’d have been too tired, Too stressed and anxious about Monday and work, and, as I’d have joined DH on the wine I’d also be a bit tipsy and probably planning as early a night as I could get a way with in order to be as ok as possible for work in the morning. Anyway I wasn’t any of these things so at a time I’d usually be sat on my sofa I got on the tube to central london by myself instead. I wandered around a bit enjoying looking at the buildings whilst drinking a herbal tea(!) before watching a very entertaining show. It was a fab evening!
it just felt so stark - the difference between how relaxed and enjoyable my sober Sunday had been - even though I had quite a lot of work to do - and how ‘nothingy’ yet stressful my drinking Sunday would have been. A real turning point for me I think. I just wanted to share because it made me so happy.
Today I’ve got a Drs appointment and am having some blood tests. I can’t pretend I’m not petrified. I’ve been such a heavy drinker. I don’t have any symptoms I’m worried about partially, but I know lots of damage is silent damage. I kind of wish I could bottle this feeling too though. If I start drinking again not only will I lose the beautiful freedom I felt so clearly on Sunday, but I also risk killing my self. It’s so not worth it.
And on that note, have a lovely day everyone :-) Thank you for this thread.