The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

Pleased to hear you held firm on your business @WendyWagon - lovely that your DS has your back

Hi all

Any podcasts or books that can be recommended as a support for quitting alcohol?

I need to start my journey

Hi @feelthefreedom and welcome.

Im a book rather than a podcast girl.
My personal favourites are
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - Catherine Gray
The Sober Diaries - Claire Pooley
The Alcohol Experiment - Annie Grace

The Sober Girl Society Handbook by Millie Gooch is very good if you’re younger - she went AF in her 20s

Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker is fabulous if you want a hearty dose of feminism with your sobriety

It is worth reading something that covers the full impact of alcohol on your body and soul - all the above do that, but the following have that as their focus
Alcohol Lied to Me - Craig Beck
Alcohol Explained- William Porter

Drink? - David Nutt is also very good for this, but I found large bits of it quite unhelpful.

Good luck! Let us know how you’re doing

Morning all.

Morning @WendyWagon peeing down here! Managed to get the dog out for a quick trot before the heavens opened and now collapsed with a cuppa! Sorry to hear the cottage was not up to par but glad to hear you are sticking to your guns on the business front. It’s so true about not letting others pasts effect our future, and perhaps not letting our own pasts trip us up either?

@feelthefreedom i like the Jason Vale book as it really challenges the myths around why we drink. Good for you for getting started, I’m a relative newbie but have found lots of lovely support here.. just take it a day at a time. x

Hi All,

Today we start with dog 1, crayonpenny dressing gown 0. I had forgotten how much puppies like to chew etc. My wfh attire may resemble that of pre holiday, when you've packed your food clothes and therefore wearing random odds / ends to get over the line. @Stircrazyschoolmum Same here - dark, grey and wet in Yorkshire - 6 year old has football camp today which I think is outside, rather her than me.

A shame about the cottage @WendyWagon but perhaps that means it's more straight forward(!) with the glam one. Hope you're feeling ok after yesterday re business etc.

Hi @feelthefreedom some great recommendations there and, per the post from @Onewildandpreciouslife , there are different types of reading worth dipping into to. Personally I valued reading the book by Catherine Grey, she wrote it in a way I really took to.

Morning everyone
A dreich day here in my part of Scotland.

We all have colds so feeling a bit dreich ourselves too.

I am awaiting some tests for a digestive issue I have but the consultant says he's pretty sure it's diverticulitis. Which will be good to finally know what it is but not great to have it of course. My mum has it and my gran did too.
Through all the gp and hospital appointments i can't stress how good it feels to just be able to casually throw in that I don't drink.

Welcome feelthefreedom. I didn't read books about this subject which is odd as I love a self help book but this thread was my support. Whenever you're ready to join us do post, it's been invaluable to me.

wendywagon well done at saying no the business idea. And good luck with the glam cottage if that's the one you decide to go for.

I have a busy weekend training with a fairly difficult person there (if anyone remembers my posts about it over the last year and a half) . But, I am better at dealing with the fallout of her behaviour now and it is the last weekend with her so I will be feeling all sorts of release on Sunday night. In the past that would have meant wine and more wine. But not now hurrah! I will celebrate the end of my course with a cuppa and maybe a treat meal. Or just a quiet high five. It has been intense but I have learned so much and although we have until March to finish all the essays and studies , from the feedback this week it sounds like I am in track to get the qualification. Quite proud of myself as it hasn't been easy. There is a thread on the go about what jobs you would do if you could go back in time but I am lucky that I am doing it. My only 'regret' if anything is that I wish I had done it years earlier.

Happy sober Friday, lovely folks.

@Crayonpenny there is a reason they are called cockerdiles!! My kids wouldn't come near ours for the first three months or so... playdates were an utter disaster and I seriously questioned my sanity in getting a puppy (never again!) He is a lovely boy now and barely chews anything, although he loves to steal socks!!

@Breathmiller GWS with the cold and good luck with the training - it sounds like you've learned some good strategies for dealing with difficult people! Personally, I would be planning a takeaway for my efforts on Sunday.😋 BTW, you gave me a full-on heart attack referencing Friday and I thought I'd missed a day somewhere! (Half termitus!!) In London it is most definitely still Thursday! 😁

@Stircrazyschoolmum haha he does like a chew! I think I may run upstairs if any play dates are on the cards. Also, clearly my phone was doing auto correct earlier, I certainly don't have 'food' clothes at all, I tend to eat my dinner in the clothes I've had on in the day, no regular dressing up for me.

Evening Lads.

Busy day. Re offered on glam cottage. Getting loads of 'I fear my client shite'

Huge profit of nearly 200% in three years and no extension. Everyone thinks I am bonkers but it's pretty.

Picture of my boy.

He's beautiful @WendyWagon
Fingers crossed for you on the cottage front.

@Crayonpenny I quite liked the idea of food clothes. I imagined you all glammed up for your spag bol 😀

Well done @Breathmiller for all of it. Gaining a new qualification is am amazing achievement (as is not murdering the cowbag who has amde training so hard!)

Haha. Yes, happy Sober THURSDAY everyone! Apologies for any confusion. I must want this week and weekend to be over more than I thought.

Morning all.
Happy sober Friday.

😁😁😁😁

It's FRIDAY!!

Hi All! As others have said.... it's Friday!

Haha @Crunchymum your post made me laugh, posh food clothes with a spag bol! Certainly would not allow my small people to follow suit, the mess!!

@WendyWagon He is so cute, I can imagine him cuddled up all snug when you're reading a book. All the best re cottage.

@Breathmiller that's great news being on track with the qualification and at least this person can buzz off after the weekend. Excellent!! I had a 5 minute window earlier where I was doing division attempts with the 6 year old and thought maybe a maths teacher could be fun, safe to say I've parked that idea - I would be awful!

Happy Friday one and all.

Its the last day of our mini break and I've survived. In fact I'm very proud of myself.... I know most people take their kids on breaks all the time but this is a massive achievement for me. 3 kids, 2 little suitcases, a rucksack and a pram on the train etc. Not to mention actually being 24/7 carer for all.

But alas I feel a bit.... I don't know..... sad?.... lost?

I am not sure if it's just the melancholy of knowing we are back to the grindstone soon or if I'm having a bit of a moment? I've felt so many strong emotions this week. Lots of the good - pride, happiness, peace, excitement (love this time of year) but also I've felt quite lonely and isolated and I feel a bit adrift. I'm on my own at home as in DP and I still live apart but that's different.

I know one thing though, I'd never have been able to do this if I was drinking. Yes we had holidays etc but I'd never have had the confidence to bring all the kids away on my own. Even if it is somewhere we know / direct 2h train from London.

On the whole it's all good, but yeah there is a tinge of sadness to it all.

As an aside we've had absolutely blinding weather. Its been insane. We've been on loads of walks and eaten loads of ice cream 🍦 😋

@Crunchymum What’s that quote? Something like “The best thing about being sober is you’re in touch with your feelings. The worst thing about being sober is you’re in touch with your feelings.”

Congratulations on your break away - you should be very proud of yourself. And I’m so glad the weather was kind to you. You sound like you had a lovely time with the kids, and you were present for all of it!

I’m sorry you’re also feeling sad and lost- having time to rest and reflect can be a bit painful sometimes. But knowing where we are can help us to work out how to move forwards sometimes.

Happy Friday all!

Wow!! crunchymum these photos are amazing. That blue sky!!
You should be so immensely proud of yourself. I remember as a single mum taking my 2 kids away on a short break on an aeroplane and I felt the same. Kind of kick ass to do this on your own. Post holiday blues are horrible. I always feel the resistance to giving up that freedom and back to the routine. But then I actually quite like the routine too, once it gets back. Hopefully it will feel like that. Take that blue sky with you in to your next adventure.

Loving all the photos of the doggies.

Preempting this with the comment that I haven’t fully caught up on the thread (trying to reduce my social media time and actually finding it really beneficial - Though I do miss this thread!)

but saw @Crunchymum ’s post and just wanted to say WELL DONE. That is a big achievement! I hope you had a lovely time.

@Crunchymum Just to add that your holiday is an awesome achievement! Your photos look amazing, I think sometimes we can easily forget how beautiful this country is. The end of holidays can be a bit of a naff feeling but you've done amazing.

Hope you're doing ok @BunniesBunniesBunnies

Thank you @Crayonpenny I am going through some stuff which is hard but I am grateful every day to be sober.
It’s been a bit of a struggle, but I will know I get through this because I have come so far already. I’m so grateful to this thread showed me the importance of a “tool box”. Without my new coping mechanisms (baths! Fresh air! Exercise!) I would not be coping right now. So I’m grateful for my sobriety, the support of the thread and my coping mechanisms.
One day at a time and all that.
Hope you’re well!

@Crunchymum
3 kids on a train with a pram, well done you. I take my hat off to you.
It does take time to adjust to 'headspace'. We are not that far apart in sober days.
I have felt rudderless sometimes due to being 'between appointments' and not drinking. I have achieved some sorting out which drunk I wouldn't have been able to do.

Chin up @BunniesBunniesBunnies

You are so encouraging to others.

Evening all. My 13th sober day is drawing to a close. I have been down this well worn path more times than I care to remember and every day was a struggle. Yet this time I've just not had one, and has involved no torment.

Today should have been an "I deserve it" jackpot as I traipsed around nursing homes on my own scouting them out for my (young in nursing home terms) Mum, after being with her this morning screaming in agony and crying she'd had enough.

However, I thought about alcohol a LOT today. Not that I wanted it but it was on my mind.

Tonight my husband polished off 2 bottles of red. By the time I was coming to bed he was LOUD and annoying AF. My eldest wasn't asleep and came through a few times. I just felt shame, guilt and complete embarrassment. How could I have seriously thought my husband and I acted exactly the same in front of the kids as we did without a drink.

I hope to God this continues.

Well done @junipermarten on your 13 days, particularly after such a tough day yesterday. Hope you had a good night’s rest - Saturday mornings without hangovers are fab!