The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

I’m glad it’s feeling good for you this year at @Blackberryblossom. Well done got persisting and now reaping the rewards! I haven’t missed alcohol one bit this Christmas, probably because we’re having a quiet one in a totally alcohol free house for which I am grateful.

My oh has been drinking since lunchtime
It's tedious tbh

Bit of an up and down day here (but a sober one!). Brazing sea swim this morning. Quiet lunch with the 4 of us, then went to see mum. Dementia really bad now - huge decline in a month.Just a bit shocked and sad now. Spent the drive home craving a drink, but knowing it wouldn’t help anything. Have eaten a lot of chocolate now.

Hope everyone had a good day

Thinking of you precious
That's really hard

Well done to everyone managing a sober Christmas, especially those of us facing challenges that would usually have us reaching for the bottle. I've left my lot watching Home Alone 2 and I'm in the bedroom with the windows wide open, listening to the rain with a glass of rose lemonade. I'm enjoying the peace and the dark and the quiet (it's too wet for an actual walk and I've eaten far too much)

DP and I will watch Planes, Trains in bed once the kids go down as we're shattered. Normally I'd be opening the second bottle by now (and I'd finish it too and lose Boxing day to a monster hangover!). I never used to sit still when drinking and would be too pissed to manage a film in the evening. Wine was such a theme tune to my life, it was there every weekend and every event (and at my worst every evening) now its more of a distant "I know that song but I can't place it".

I won't lie. I've missed it in some ways today. But not enough to ever seriously consider drinking again. Its more of an memory, a concept of the past, a "wish I could but I know I can't" kind of feeling.

My body and brain will thank me tomorrow.

Peace out ladies. X

@Onewildandpreciouslife that sounds like such a hard day. I think you’re doing brilliantly to be looking after yourself and am in awe of your sea swim, I didn’t even get out into the drizzle. I hope the chocolate helped.

Listening to the rain with a rose lemonade sounds perfect, @Crunchymum . I like your way of casting alcohol as a soundtrack to the past. I can’t go back there either.

I am on the sofa with some knitting and the AF IPA that I didn’t have with lunch. It’s made by Infinite @wanttobesober and is one of those AF beers that doesn’t feel like a consolation prize. My dh fell asleep after his third glass of wine, he drinks a lot less these days.

oh precious that’s so difficult. Sending love and strength.
Its Boxing Day here and we’ve a BBQ by the sea for my niece’s bday except it’s meant to be 37’c so I’m thinking it’ll be in the aircon house. It’ll be boozy but I’ll be fine today as will take some AF stuff with me.
I know what you mean @wanttobesober my DH drinks a lot too. Every time I look at him he’s drinking. I’m going to suggest he gives dry January a go. Would your OH do that? May make it a bit easier for us both. Especially these early days.
bunnies how have you managed a totally alcohol free house? At home we have ridiculous amounts. There’s piles of booze everywhere! DH buys several boxes of wine at a time (12 bottles in a box), we’ve got a full wine fridge then a normal sized fridge full of booze! It’s actually obscene and even when I was drinking I thought it too much and only ever bought 6 at a time when there was 25% off. No-one needs to be that well stocked.

Thanks for the support everyone. Sat in bed with my tea and very pleased I stayed sober. I agree with @Crunchymum that there were times I missed drinking, but overall it’s been a much more peaceful day than it might have been.

Staying conscious to the end of films is a definite bonus!

Sleep well all

@StayingVigilant well technically there was some booze stuffed away in cupboards but no one drank any, it was just me and OH and our small kids. OH doesn’t drink much at all anymore. (Sending you sympathy in that regard @wanttobesober, some of my ext need family drink a lot and it is tedious for sure).

@Onewildandpreciouslife im sorry about your mums decline, you did so well not to drink. @Crunchymum glad you had a quiet moment to yourself. @Blackberryblossom knitting sounds like the perfect Christmas activity!

Just popping back in to say well done to all of you for staying sober or / and resisting drinks that were proferred.

crunchy the idea of it as a soundtrack is so apt. I’ve certainly had a couple of moments of thinking I could just have a glass of white, now but actually I didn’t really want one. I am now in bed the first awake and the last to sleep. I feel content and happy. I played games with the kids. Talked to my visitors. Remembered everything food wise at dinner. Enjoyed some nosecco Buck’s Fizz, much nicer than the ‘real’ thing. I also polished off a bottle and a half of the AF mcGuigans red throughout the day. So I’m extra glad there was no alchohol in any of it because blimey I would be feeling shite by now.

here’s to waking fresh tomorrow and enjoying a walk, pub lunch and some real quality time with my nearest and dearest.

Is the McGuigans red good? I’m not crazy about wine anyway (fizz another matter) but DH could be persuaded to have AF wine if it’s ok. I might starting giving away our stash and replacing with some hood AF stuff.

@StayingVigilant its better than some. Not sure it would satisfy someone who really wanted to drink a good merlot. I have tried to treat it how I treated quiting gluten and just ignored AF red wine until I had forgotten what it l tasted like and now it is quite emjoyable. I don’t suppose it is a patch on a decent alcohol red but I have after 10 months forgotten how they taste.

I accidentally had a sip of an alcohol fruit cider and it was bitter, ditto some cava… I do enjoy nosecco when I never used to drink Prosecco.

There is a decent white called darling cellars from the wise bartender but the McGuigans red is a nice enough drink on its own and the least sweet of the AF reds I have tried.

during a normal week I will have maybe an AF pear kopperberg which tastes like pear drops! Or an AF GF beer from Drop Bear but only on a Sunday when cooking a roast.

I will have AF wine of we go out or have friends over to make me feel more ‘normal’ and also to stop people asking if I want a drink!

anyway hope everyone has bright eyes and bushy tails. I reviewed the photos taken yesterday and there I am clear eyed and smiling whilst the adults around me are decidedly pissed looking 🤣

Happy Boxing Day all! The lurgy is subsiding and I’m enjoying a cuppa in bed before a sunny/muddy walk with DH and the woof. Yesterday ended well, I wrote two posts and lost them during games of monopoly and Home Alone 2, but I’m pleased to have navigating the bumps of the day with a clear, calm head and a sense of perspective. No drama (just the way I like it!)

Precious I wanted to send you a hug as you were so strong yesterday. The legacy of your mum lives on in you and in your nearest and dearest. Remember her as she was and not what the disease has made her if you can. Big hugs. xx

@Fortheloveofgodwhy I have a bottle of the McGuinans red that didn’t get opened yesterday, neither did the noezecco! It took me most the day to drink the AF Buck’s Fizz and AF mulled wine. Then I fancied appletise and crodino and physically couldn’t drink anymore!! Oh well.. plenty for NYE!

Have a lovely headache free Boxing Day everyone. xx

Morning all. TW

Difficult day yesterday. Friend died Friday and my family kept it from me so I wouldn't go on a bender. I fell off the wagon. I had no decent stuff in. Thank God for that or I wouldn't be able to type this morning . I wasn't allowed to visit him and I cried all day yesterday. I burnt the turkey and pigs and no bugger gave me a hug. I tell you this as I am not perfect and need accountability. I was dredding Christmas, this was so much worse.
I have picked myself up and put the af tonics in the fridge. I am sorry to have let you all down after my success Christmas eve.
However I am horrified how people reacted to me admitting being a recovering alcoholic (at the lower end of the scale if there is one? ). Ffs I should be tarred and feathered apprently. Compassion is a rare comodity outside of this page.
Love to you all and thank you for your support. Your friend Sav.

Oh shIt @WendyWagon so so sorry to hear about your friend! How are you doing now? Talk to us here. We are all good listeners. I’m sending you tons of hugs xx

Oh @WendyWagon sending you all the hugs Sav xx So sorry to hear about your friend, and that you didn’t get the support you need.
You haven’t let anyone down. Remember that we’re not bad people trying to be good, we’re ill people trying to be healed.
Today is a new day.

@StayingVigilant thank you for the hugs.
I am ok but sad. He was such a nice guy. He had survived a stroke but could not fight off infections. I wanted to see him but couldn't due to my RA. What a shit thing to happen just before Christmas. He loved a drink, I have many fond memories of the parties. He was a rare dad at the school gate. We bonded over cooking and shared the school run. Our sons were best friends. He was cultured but hid his talents. No c swinging. At the end of an evening he might play for us (piano or guitar). Fun times.
I was dreading wanting to drink so bought none. My family don't drink so it was a dry house. I was a selective boozer. Not my brand, poison, type it is safe from me. Thank God for being a booze snob otherwise I would be a mess this morning.
I am doing a lunch for my brother. He doesn't drink anymore. Best of my siblings. Poor bugger is ill. I am bracing myself and getting the Guiness af out.

You ARE amazing and you’ve got this. Booze will absolutely not help. Won’t take any of the pain away. Any of the sadness. You’re remembering the great person he was and the many fabulous times you spent together. Focussing on this is great. Sending you more hugs and lots of strength too xx

Bless you @WendyWagon so sorry to hear about your friend. Such sad news and of course there is never a 'good time' but so close to Christmas is a double blow. I hope you are able to ride the wave, we are all here x

@WendyWagon what sad news about your friend, I’m so sorry you’ve lost someone you clearly thought a great deal about. Feel cross on your behalf that people have been unsupportive - compassion and hugs cost nothing do they?
thank you for coming here and sharing - it shows your commitment and indicates trust in the group. Be as kind to yourself as you would to others Sav you deserve that.

Well it's day 50 here today and I didn't drink yesterday. Had a few fleeting moments but they soon passed. DH spent most of the day drinking and Christmas dinner was a bit...'well done' but it was a good day nonetheless.

I hate Boxing Day though. The kids go to their dad's for the week and it makes me cry every year without fail. But no consoling myself with a drink this year.

Woohoo I did it...i haven't had a dry Christmas Day since I was pregnant with now 10 year old DS2. So feeling accomplished and awesome right now. Despite the sadness of no DSs until next year.

I’m so sorry @WendyWagon, your friend sounds like a constant star. A musician too, how lovely. Thinking of you. And yes, alcohol won’t help, but everyone on here will do our best for you. Those people criticising your brave recovery from drinking - well the kindest thing I can say is that they probably have their own issues with alcohol, and didn’t want to accept that if you had a problem with drink maybe they do too… so it was easier for them to hit out than to have the kind of compassion or support that they’d have for any other addiction, or even just the stfu. I hope that you can share your grief with your brother today.

Congratulations @MyGhastIsFlabbered ! I’m sure that Christmas and New Year dry days ought to count extra, like triple word scores in Scrabble. Is there anything nice that you can do just for you over the next few days? My heart goes out to you missing your boys x

@StayingVigilant I recognise the issues of dh ordering by the case. I realised when the last case came in here (to be fair it’s only 3 or 4 a year now) that whereas he was buying by the case, I was just buying 4 packs of AF beer and the very occasional bottle of af “spirits” or Nosecco. The alcohol would go in the wine rack and my cans would just be drunk then gone. I decided that if it was ok for him to buy in bulk it was ok for me too, and I order AF beer in bulk now. Somehow it makes things a bit more equal, and it makes AF drinks a lot more normal. Also I don’t mind him drinking the AF beer when we’ve got more than 4 cans in the house.

Yes, I think I need to buy more AF as I’d be delighted if he drank it too.

I’m sorry for your loss @WendyWagon. you didn’t fail anyone, not even yourself. It sounds like you weren’t supported properly but you managed to limit the damage. You’re so strong, keep your chin up and keep going. We are all here for you

@WendyWagon sorry to read about your friend x