The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

Hi All,

I think of procrastination is more than reasonable if they can't move before Christmas @WendyWagon we shall see if a new chancellor has any bright ideas to sort out this whirlwind of an economy as it's ridiculous all over.

@Crunchymum I am not a huge cat fan but I've just melted. She is so cute! Your comment re big cat looking in a mirror did make me smile! Do you have a name for her? We've been going back / forth on puppy names here for a new arrival, my four year old decided on 'chicken nugget' which we have unfortunately decided to veto. I didn't quite fancy shouting come back chicken nugget at a park in future months.

In other news, just back from an appointment with my counsellor worker person and apparently I'm soon to be 'discharged'. Sounds quite formal but it was just a thumbs up really on my AF journey so thank you all for helping me so far on this path.

@WendyWagon I think it’s also to do with the fact that younger people having access to the internet and social media are able to see a lot more of the negative effects of alcohol and how it can ruin your life though peoples personal accounts and news stories.
For me a big reason I quit drinking was that I come from a family of drinkers and I grew up in that kind of environment, so when I began drinking myself at a young age I saw the path it was going to take me on and I just wasn’t interested in becoming like that for not only my own sake but for any children I may have one day so they don’t have to grow up in the same environment I did.
@Onewildandpreciouslife I have always found that small independent business make the best AF version of spirits over large name brand companies, they put more time and effort into their product and packaging over big companies that just feel they have to produce something for the sake of keeping up with the market and being seen to be ‘inclusive’.
@Crunchymum Absolutely, although the best way I’ve found is to experiment a little yourself, find a base ingredient and add to it. Say heat cloudy apple juice in a pan, add a small amount of cinnamon maybe some sliced pear a little lemon juice and sugar if it’s a bit sour. There are so many things you can do for AF drinks you don’t have to be limited to a can of pop or juice.

Ive just resisted a Friday drink. Feeling like another week of sobriety ahead if I’m passed the main point if temptation.

@Mycatsgoldtooth - well done on getting past the temptation- you can look forward to a hangover free Saturday morning!

Morning all.
I am going to have a search for new AF drinks later. Home all day yesterday with a bad back.
Other than that all good.

Admtenten 😉 so good to hear from you. Fantastic amount of time. Hope you are well

@WendyWagon hope your back is okay.
@Crayonpenny ohhh that’s good news about the counselling! How do you feel about being discharged?

Quiet weekend for us (finally), we need one. Well, we’ll still be ferrying small people around to clubs and feeding them etc😅 but no crazy schedules or other commitments.

I just have to do a bit of work (and I’m looking forward to some decluttering😇).

I know I said I was struggling the other day (and I really was) and you were all so kind to me which really helped. I also reached out to some real life friends and they too were so kind, and I feel I’ve turned a bit of a corner now. So thank you for all your support again.

Hi bunnies I'm so pleased to hear you had real life support too. And that you are feeling a bit lighter.

I am nearly at the end of our half term. Not sure I want it to end. Been so lovely to potter about seeing family and little impromptu days out.

Having a quiet day in the house today doing a few jobs and resetting a bit. Always nice to do that at the end of the holidays. Next holidays will be Christmas!! (And I just heard that I will have a full house of all my children which is my favourite thing ever!)

I'm glad to hear you are feeling more positive @BunniesBunniesBunnies

It always throws me when I hit a funk as my default for those feelings was always wine. I know now just to ride the wave and the feelings will pass. Adding alcohol to the mix just exacerbated any negativity in my life. But it's hard to break the pattern, I've been using alcohol - to some degree - to block out negative feelings my whole adult life.

Afternoon all,

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I feel a bit mixed to be honest. Chuffed how well I've done but also a little bit of apprehension as I feel like a bit of a crutch is going if that makes sense? Your weekend sounds like mine! Football tournament now for the 6 year old (it's freezing) after we've had dance this morning. Nice though. Glad you're starting to feel better as well 😊

@Breathmiller Your comment re Christmas and all your children made me smile, that's what it's all about!!

Ahhh a house full of all your children!!!
That sounds amazing @Breathmiller.

Morning all.
drinking tea with a dog for company.

must make an effort this week to network.
I hope everyone had a peaceful night.

Hi guys,

Can I join you? I had my last drink on 29th Sept and have been posting on the sober October board up to now. This is probably my longest time not drinking since 2019 and I really want to keep going. Aside from pregnancies I managed a stint of around 8 months which ended in Jan 2017 when I let down my guard and had wine on DH’s 50th birthday. That was a slippery slope where all seemed well for a month or two and then it crept and crept (sound familiar?)

Fast forward 6 years and my consumption has gotten completely out of control again - actually it got worse as the kids are older and more self sufficient and the pandemic meant no one noticed if you opened a bottle of wine at 15.00. You’d have thought the first nasty bang to the head and blue light trip to A&E 18 months ago would have been the rock bottom.. but no.. denial can be a right b*astard! It’s taken a second nasty bump (on 29th Sept) and another trip to hospital to be the wake up call. I’ve finally realised that I’m going to kill myself if I continue.

So here I am. 17 days sober and absolutely determined I’m not repeating the mistakes of my past. Interestingly, Im really not missing it, just feeling terribly thankful I’m still here!

So that’s me.. no more essays I promise!

@Stircrazyschoolmum
welcome.
Essay away. Better out than in. I have never needed the blues and twos for the boozing but had a couple of falls whilst in my cups.

8 months AF was a great achievement. Prior to joining this thread I had only done 8 weeks. Well done on the 17 days.

Welcome @Stircrazyschoolmum ! Glad you feel ready to join us. Essays are fine!

Im in a tricky place at the moment. A few days away from reaching 7 months, but feeling physically grotty at the moment. Had my Covid booster on Friday, so adding a headache and sore arm to post-op discomfort. We’re away for half term, which is lovely, but I can’t do my usual runs, long walks etc. I know alcohol would make all of this worse, but yesterday was quite hard. I have, however, bought a paperback novel, so hoping to escape into that!

Thanks for the welcome guys!

@WendyWagon I never thought I would need them either! I’ve been a heavy binge drinker since my teens and had gotten to a place where I pretty much thought I was invincible. In recent years I’ve been a ‘2 bottles of wine, pass out on the sofa type drinker’ certainly not someone my friends or family (with poss exception of DH) had concerns about. On the first occasion I fell over the dog and didn’t react fast enough to prevent me cracking my head on the counter top.. tbh I’m surprised I didn’t break my nose. Of course, that was justified as the dogs fault and me being clumsy. This time round I ‘ preloaded’ a bottle of wine before heading out for a tapas dinner with friends. Too much alcohol and not enough food, tripped over a kerb walking home and cracked back of head (not a fast enough reaction again). Head had to be glued and CT scan for cracked skull. All for a few glasses of wine.. it’s not worth it.

@Onewildandpreciouslife i can identify with where you are at (which is an amazing achievement!) I found it got easier and easier to start romanticising alcohol and thinking ‘one wouldn’t hurt’ But you are absolutely right that alcohol wouldn’t help. Enjoy your paperback!

@Stircrazyschoolmum

Welcome aboard. Sorry to hear about the trips to A&E but I'm a great believer in whatever gets us to the point of nit drinking will end up being a positive part of the story.

Well done on 8 months previously, that is where I am now and my aim is complete sobriety, forever. That thought scared the life out if me until very recently but now I'm determined and committed to living an AF life. It won't be without moaning though and I'm quite partial to an essay too 🙂

This group has been a phenomenal support and I'd be lost without it. We're always here.

@Crunchymum thank you for your kind words and well done on the 8 months. I know what the wobbles are like but trust me, if I could turn back the clock and have water on DH’s birthday I would do so. It scares me shitless I could have left my kids without a mum.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I much prefer a paperback these days. In fact I had my first trip to the library (for myself and not the kids) recently as I'm reading a lot more these days. Mainly just easy reading crime stuff (Lee Child / Michael Connelly etc) but I look forward to that now as opposed to a glass bottle of wine.

I think back to how I used to feel after a heavy night (heavy night would be best part of 2 bottles) and it makes me so sad. I used to feel physically awful of course but emotionally I'd wake up feeling like I couldn't face the day. I'd feel defeated and worthless before I'd even got out of bed. I'd want to hide away from the world. This was pretty much every weekend for me.

I am sad I did that to myself. Sad I didn't respect myself more and take action sooner. But I'm here now. I still feel like crap at times, but my God do I feel better than I did when I was drinking all that wine.

Hi all. Can anyone recommend any books aimed at women drinkers? Or FB groups for women who want stop or have stopped? I'm looking for all the support I can get really!

@Stircrazyschoolmum

Regret and guilt are such negative emotions but important to get us to our point of taking that step.

Every day is a success and every success is to be celebrated.

@Stircrazyschoolmum
There are a lot of former teenage drinkers in ‘the lads’. (We are mainly women I believe). It is interesting how people view a person’s alcohol consumption. My friends bar two tell me it wasn’t a problem ( 3-5 bottles a week at home, more on business socialising). However I had reached the point of being able to start on a third bottle and going to the corner shop to get it! I always fell asleep too but at parties I was wired, dancing, falling or arguing in an unladylike way. I go from being a bit clever to a know it all! My poor husband either declined invites or more recently we didn’t get invited.
I wouldn’t swap my sobriety for my old life. It was one hangover after the other.
good luck.

@junipermarten

Hello the following may be useful:
The alcohol experiment
Rock Bottom
anything by Janie Lee Grace

I re read Rachael’s Holiday which is a novel about a addict (booze and coke). For me it provided light relief from things like ‘alcohol lied to me’ which is heavy.

The big blue book is given out free at AA. I still read the case histories. It is a ‘higher power’ organisation. Okay for me but might not suit others. All support free. Some have online and ladies only sessions.

Hi @junipermarten

The ones that have really helped me are
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - Catherine Gray
The Sober Diaries - Claire Pooley
Quit Like a Woman - Holly Whitaker

Some of it depends on your age, I think - The Sober Girl Society Handbook was written by someone in her 20s, so depending on your age may be more helpful than the Sober Diaries.

Quit Like a Woman is possibly more helpful when you’re a bit further on in your journey, but is a great battle cry for sober women.

Don’t know about FB groups, but there are some great Instagram accounts, like sassysobermum, sobergirlsociety and sobahsistas that I find helpful and inspiring

Hi @junipermarten i second Rachel’s holiday - read it lots of times ! And the unexpected joy of being sober. Not sure if podcasts are your thing but lots either hosted by women or interviewing women who’ve had different experiences which I found really helpful