The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

Morning lads.
Up early but only just. Daughter and I had a great end to the week. She got a re test cancellation in our nearest town next week and I did an interview for a fashion brand on the hoof!
We were post a Marks jaunt watching a film when the call came through.
Interesting job with a some wfh and some worldwide travel. All sizes too. Hopefully I will like the founder. No more f**kwits for me.

Marks full of Christmas bits but I avoided the wine. Nothing new on the af front but I noted that CleanCo are doing more faux spirits. Can someone remind me of the Italian drink that was mentioned a few weeks ago please?

I made my list for the new house yesterday and I actually didn't think where will I put the booze cupboard! Progress.
@Breathmiller I read your typo anyway. I not sure what that means? Superpower I hope!
Have a good day my friends.

Morning wendywagon et al.

That's great about your daughter's test and the job interview. Good luck to both of you.

How exciting about the house move. How long til you're in?

I had a mini pang last night. Was picking up takeaway and popped into the shop nearby to pick up some treats. Thought I'd have a look at their AF selection. I don't drink AF stuff so much anymore but took a notion. Their (very poor) selection was bang in the middle of their alcohol aisle. I had to search really hard for it and it was not advertised well. I found myself looking through wines and drinks galore. I noticed a mini pang which passed. But, to be honest that then changed to annoyance. Why put it right in the middle of a row of alcohol drinks? Surely many people who are looking for AF drinks won't want to have to scour the alcohol shelves? Anyway, their selection was shit and I picked up a pack of 4 bottles of fruity cider and got out of there. Turned out when I got home I should have put my glasses on because I had bought the strawberry one and I hate strawberry drinks with a passion. Anyway, rant over. (I'm looking at you Co-op).
At least at my Tesco, it's at the beginning of the wine aisle. I can dip in and look at their extensive range without having to peruse the whole booze aisle.

(And don't get me started on vegan butter and yoghurt being in the middle of the normal butter or yoghurt shelf. I used to prefer when it was all in one place)

We are getting radiators up today in the living room and kitchen. 2 winters without heating in these rooms so it is finally going to be toasty.

@Breathmiller toasty sounds a welcome change to me! I had noticed Tesco stacking AF at the end of the aisle which is much preferable for me.
@WendyWagon glad your daughter has the option to take her rest again nearby. I admire you doing an interview like that - I’m not sure I would have the confidence, hope you hear soon.

first day and evening of visitors all went smoothly and feeling okay about a restaurant meal tonight.

have a good weekend all - stay warm and dry

Coop does seem to be very poor on AF choices @Breathmiller - I’ve never found any AF wine in my local ones.

I had lots of pangs (good word) last night - staying in a city overnight, seeing lots of people drinking in brightly lit bars. Ah well, not for me any more. Going to get up and go for an early explore and eat pancakes for breakfast

@Breathmiller I hear ya on the vegan stuff - Tesco is the worst offender near us...it has about 4 different 'plant-based' sections...plus the new vegan Cathedral City is just in with the other cheeses. Oddly enough, having chosen not to eat meat I don't want to have to trek past loads of it to find the meat alternatives.

We're off Christmas shopping in a bit...I'm knackered. Went out for drinks last night with friends. None of them are big drinkers so we weren't out late. I drove so no explanations were required.

Morning all good news about the re-test and interview @WendyWagon! Pangs .. hmm like that word. I've never delved into AF wine or anything for that matter. I just steer clear of the isle with all the booze! 🫣
Christmas looming I've had an invitation to a games evening round a friends house.. it will be a booze fest I'm sure. This will likely be one of many tests this year so I may just tentatively lol at the AF options so I can go prepared for this evening of fun! Work's Christmas lunch is also nearing.. I've requested alcohol free options are made available to all - being the organiser that's been an easy one to navigate.

Still waiting waiting for my confirmation on the new home.. honestly this week has been tough!! End of year accounts reconciliation, endless data and do it now emails .. all the while waiting for that final call about the house! I had a little meltdown yesterday but picked myself up. I could have caved and drank wine all evening but I absolutely could not break all this hard work. In bed by 9.30 with a hot chocolate and Netflix. Feeling smug this morning 🤩
Off the the WI Christmas fare today, child free until Sunday so keeping busy. Have a wonderful weekend all xx

@rockingbird I love a Christmas fare. We live in a tweedy town but the vibe has completely changed and it is all chi chi shops now. 72% of all house sales are now to London families so everything gets geared to their tastes. We moved here twenty years ago (although my family go back 600 years). It is very competitive place and I can't wait to leave! I would love to know the sats on boozing because I have never met so many heavy drinkers, mainly women. I wonder if they are silently screaming inside? I know I was.

Goodness me .. I just want some sleep 😵‍💫 sitting in bed drinking tea waiting for the gym to open. How dare they open late in a Sunday..!

@rockingbird do you suffer from insomnia? It’s the worst isn’t it if so, you poor thing.

Very impressed with gym on a Sunday!

I am feeling proud at having made it to the one week milestone - got friends round for Sunday lunch later, so have got AF beers for me so I don’t feel like I am missing out too much. The Corona AF ones are nice with a slice of lime and icy cold from the fridge.

Next hurdle will be work Christmas party next week but I am absolutely determined!

Can I ask if people found they lost weight as a consequence of not drinking by the way? Hoping for that as en extra benefit!

Morning all.
I could do with more sleep too @rocking@rockingbird

Husband has changed shifts and keeps waking me up. Not sure I can cope until Christmas.

I'm about 1 year and 1 week now! What I love most about being AF is 10pm bedtimes and good sleep. On the mum drama, she hasn't had a drink since I spoke to her a couple of weeks ago and has been enjoying the odd AF beverage. I'm going home on Monday after being. Here for 3 weeks so hope she can cope on her own. When Dad was in hospital, she met us there one day and hadn't locked the front door. Yesterday, I was checking in about the back door and she said she didn't care if it was locked or not. She has showered daily but hasn't had to get her own food for weeks. Hope she is going to manage. Thankfully, my niece is moving in so we will have someone around to keep an eye on her 😳

@Newmum738 I am sorry about your mum. A difficult time for all of you.
Grief is the price we pay for love. Nothing more to add to that statement.

❤️❤️❤️

Thats hard newmum. She might surprise you once she is on her own. Sometimes, people let us look after them, which is a lovely thing for all concerned but then when they have to look after themselves they find it in there somewhere. Sending you (and your mum) a big hug.

@Newmum738 hugs
feel for you all and hope you are taking care of yourself.

out last night for a meal with my house guests when we got home had what felt like a grilling. Yes but why aren’t you drinking now, no what’s the real reason etc
I was a bit surprised that it made me feel uncomfortable after all this time.
no real harm done but garrulous drunks are a bit of a pain…

Morning all.
Out overnight to see a friend. Clean living, no issues there! Marathon runner, vegetarian and a lovely person. I haven't seen her for a year.

@AlloftheTime I find to the people who badger me I have to be blunt (I know I can be even on SM). I say I am a recovering alcoholic. It absolutely closes down the conversation or they try to reassure me I wasn't. My family know my demons. My wider family are drinkers and for feudal reasons (where there's a will, there's a war) we don't really meet up much. I bet you feel fine this morning, they of course won't!

Morning all. Hope you got a better night’s sleep @rockingbird and @WendyWagon

How did your lunch go @Johnnyfartpants ? I lost a bit of weight, but that was mainly down to my exercise levels increasing massively. The unexpected benefits for me were my skin and hair - I noticed a big difference after about 3 months.

@Newmum738 Well done on your year and a week, especially during such tough times. Your mum will need to find her “new normal”, and although you can support her, it’s a path she needs to find on her own. Good luck you both.

@AlloftheTime sorry you got the Spanish Inquisition! Not very gracious of your friends, but they’re probably waking up feeling rough, and embarrassed if they remember giving you a hard time.

Had a busy day yesterday- my half marathon training has restarted so I did an 8 mile run, then had a community event in the afternoon that I’ve spent weeks planning for. It all went well but I was exhausted by the end, and the thought of a drink to press the automatic “off” button did cross my mind briefly. But I know it wouldn’t have been one drink, so collapsing on the sofa with an AF G&T did the trick.

@AlloftheTime I have been speaking to an friend who has been AF for 17 months and she just says I don’t drink really firmly and looks the person in the eye, and says it works to stop the pushing. As my sister says, if someone reacts badly to you saying you don’t drink, it’s usually because they don’t like having a mirror held up to themselves (ie) they may actually have their own demons that they aren’t yet willing to acknowledge.

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you for asking. It was so lovely and chilled and I didn’t miss alcohol at all, even though everyone else drank. I think because it was with really old and really dear friends, so no undercurrents or tension.

Hope everyone has a good Monday!

Happy Monday everyone! Today I'm 36 days sober and 1 week in of mindful eating. I'm feeling very good!
Next thing is starting to exercise again. I was training for a half marathon (saw your post @Onewildandpreciouslife!) but tore my Achilles and so haven't run (or done anything really) since June. I've booked a place at another half next June, so need to start now, so it's not too last minute and painful!
@Newmum738 sending love.

Good morning all, slept much better last night! I guess a combination of having the boys back home and being very tired from my 4am start Sunday morning helped me sleep better last night. I'm still so apprehensive waiting to hear about the new house.. 😬 please let it be this week..!!! All this talk of training and exercise you've reminded me im enrolled for the 100 mile bike London event in May. Cycling is my thing, always was.. I've done some triathlons in my younger years but long distance cycling is me at one with the world. I plan to start training in the new year and get some miles under my belt. Well done @Onewildandpreciouslife with the training, certainly giving me inspiration to get back out there. A big well done to @Johnnyfartpants for passing the one week mark.! I'm 4 months in and I've lost over a stone, I'm not focusing on weight right now but I'm definitely less bloated and the size 12's I was squeezing into are all rather large now. @AlloftheTime this is a big fear for me.. I've a couple of events throughout December and feel it's best to shut them down with 'alcohol isn't my friend' and hope they don't take it further. I'm just not ready to tell my story! Being pestered about it will really piss me off actually.. I've come so far and have a no filter attitude to life at the moment. Well done for being strong with that one. @Newmum738 please take care of yourself, big hugs from me to you.
Another week closer to Christmas.. I've managed to get some gifts sorted but I'm nowhere near ready!! My head can't move past the move and the house.. being reunited with our beloved dog and settling in as quickly as we can before the big man arrives. Had you asked me a year again if this how Christmas this year would be looking I'd have thought you were mad lol
Have a wonderful Monday people, stay focused and remember to do one thing for yourself today! Much love xx

Good morning and happy Monday everyone.

I used to dread and loath Monday mornings (I drank "moderately" midweek and not every evening but I always, always hit it hard at the weekends so the Monday hangover would be awful) and whilst it still isn't my favourite time of the week, I wake up ready to face the world.

I never, ever want to wake up and feel the way I did when I was still drinking. The good news is I haven't felt that anxiety and dread and self loathing in almost 300 days now!!!

I am still feeling a bit iffy about Christmas. I feel like a petulant child who has been told she cannot join in with her friends? Like I am missing out on something (which I know in my mind and heart I am not )

It's a weird one but I always knew it would be. My whole adult life has been tied to drinking at Christmas. Sad to admit but it's my truth. Even pregnant I had a few glasses of red on Christmas day and NYE [I have 2 poor January children so I was 8+ months at Christmas in both of those pregnancies but still, that is how far I was in the grip of alcohol]

I know I wont drink, but I can't promise I won't be a bit mardy!!!

Has anyone else got a Fitbit? I can't help but notice that after my 'blip' two weeks ago, my resting heart rate shot up and my cardio fitness score came down. My resting heart rate normalised at the end of last week, so 11 or 12 days. My fitness score is still down on what it was.

Kinda brings it home to you the unseen damage that drinking does.

Take 2 - Day 15.

TheOtherHotstepper I have an Apple Watch and noticed the same thing - my resting heart rate is lower now than a month ago and my fitness level has edged up a bit. I’m also consistent hitting my sleep goal…all these little indicators of progress.

Crunchymum I actually came on here to post about how fantastic it is to wake up hangover free on a Monday. I used to promise myself I wouldn’t, but end up drinking half a bottle of wine on a Sunday night. I could drink the same on a Saturday no problem, but I’d often have a restless night on Sunday, wake up feeling like shit on Monday and feeling anxious. Today I was just overwhelmed for a minute when I realized my Monday mornings are different. I can get a run in with the dog, get the kids to school and be at my desk looking presentable by 8.30.

feeling more and more confident that I can do this now, the first month hadn’t been nearly as bad as I feared.

Good morning all .. another early start for me 🥴

I’m up to @rockingbird - did you have a terrible nights sleep? I’m sorry :(

Still feeling so anxious about my friend who is still not speaking to me but I am trying not to let that spiral.

Also quite ground down by work. Can’t wait for a break over Christmas!