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Alcohol support

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The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

982 replies

Crunchymum · 11/10/2022 20:06

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

OP posts:
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12
MyGhastIsFlabbered · 12/11/2022 12:26

Last night was surprisingly easy. DH had wine but I really didn't miss it. I'm going to treat myself to some nice soft drinks over the next few weeks so it still feels like I'm having a 'treat' at the weekend but without the ill effects that come with alcohol.

I've recently started a new job and told a coworker 'I'm a teetotal vegan'...god I sound fun Hmm

WendyWagon · 13/11/2022 07:06

Good morning all.
Back home and up early for tea.
It was our wedding anniversary yestetday and I am usually disappointed when the DH doesn't buy booze. He bought flowers, Gordon's af and Earl Grey tea. I was delighted.
We had a take away as we had spent lots overseas. We had such a great time and me not stumbling over in the bar or trying to sweat the drink out the following day was brilliant. I know he was always worried about the embarrassing incidents. I use to think I was a happy drunk, but I guess the laughter was on me.
I used my stick as I am still a bit stiff from the flare. The Italians were great and offered lots of help (I had no such help in Paris earlier this year).
It's funny I can own the disability now and just crack on. I imagine it helps if you don't smell of booze!
I love Fridays folks but I think that is because I don't have a 2 hour commute each way.
Have a great Sunday.

Crunchymum · 13/11/2022 10:36

9 months for me today

In the early days I couldn't have imagined 9 weeks, let along 9 months.

Family party today for my 10 year old. I am so happy not to be hungover and feeling like shit as I have loads to do. I have a few AF beers for the party and I'm providing everything bar the booze. I don't object to others drinking but I ain't paying for it 😂

OP posts:
WendyWagon · 13/11/2022 10:56

Congratulations Crunch
Have a great party. X

Stircrazyschoolmum · 13/11/2022 12:34

Happy anniversary to you both @WendyWagon and @Crunchymum its really inspiring hearing your positive experiences.

I think I’ve hit the pink cloud/bunny zone this weekend. I was walking to the gym this morning and suddenly a big grin spread over my face.. I felt positive about the future for the first time in so long. This afternoon I’m off to an art gallery with my daughter.. no way this would be happening if I were still drinking. Feeling blessed.

Fortheloveofgodwhy · 13/11/2022 18:44

Happy anniversary @WendyWagon I get the holiday thing. Was bliss on our summer trip not drinking. I would have struggled much more with the proximity to my teens and all the travel if I had a hangover too!

happy anniversary @Crunchymum as well. Long enough to grow a baby, I didn’t manage a single pregnancy teetotal… it wasn’t frowned on so much to have the odd glass when I had my first, so I stuck to that plan for the rest of them… this is the longest I have been alcohol free since I was probably 12… so over 30 years 🤯

I was out today at a function locally, had lots of friends asking me about being teetotal at it today. I was quite honest about choosing to stop alcohol when i decided I no longer wanted to be bargaining with myself about when I could drink. Also known as moderately failing 😂. There were some faces that I felt understood and maybe, maybe they will think about stopping. I hope so, I love the fluffy bunny pink haze days

Blackberryblossom · 13/11/2022 19:40

Hello all, I've not posted in a while but wanted to say Thank you to everyone here. This might be a long post…. Some time in the last week I clocked up two years alcohol free. Life is so very different now, not perfect, but I'm so much better at handling the imperfections without defaulting to a glass or a bottle. I had my last drink in Nov 2020 when it became obvious that Trump was losing the election, and I realised that one of my most regular reasons/excuses/triggers to pour a drink was disappearing. I'd had a couple of wake up calls in the months before, and had been a complete and utter failure at my many attempts to moderate my drinking over lockdown. I decided to stop for 30 days, then I continued to 100 days, then I kept going. My dh said he was of course supportive of my decision but that I shouldn't expect him to quit too. Well he hasn't quit too, but he drinks much, much less now. This board has given me so much support and so many practical techniques for my toolkit, I wanted to list out some of the ones that have been invaluable to me in case they can help anyone else. Thank you all. @Drybird2020 for starting these threads, @BunniesBunniesBunnies And @Breathmiller for being so balanced and kind, there’s also the brilliant “lads” (hanging?), @WendyWagon @Crunchymum name change? …. All of you really and I’m embarrassed not to remember everyone’s names. Anyway…

Take it as slowly as you want. The beginning days felt so long for me, it's ok to aim for a day, an hour, even a minute alcohol free when anything longer feels impossible. The achievements of having a day, a weekend, a week, a month without drinking can feel quite small compared to those that have been going for ages, but honestly those early days were so much harder and have built such strong foundations.
Quit lit really helped me. Audiobooks and podcasts provide a bit more privacy if needed (I needed). If one doesn't work for you then move on to another, there will almost certainly be one that fits. I liked Lotta Dann and Catherine Gray. Not affiliated, but the scribd app was great for me - ebooks and audiobooks, and fairly close to "all you can eat" every month rather than Audible's one book per credit. There's a free trial available and you can search without signing up. Audible is good too and obviously Amazon. Loads of free podcasts too.
Don't be apologetic when you're ordering drinks - a big bright "what alcohol-free beer/spirits/wine do you have please?" works for me, and gives the bar a chance to sell what they have. I'm not going to apologise for not drinking and I still want to have grown-up drinks in nice glasses.
Think about your triggers and how you can respond to them differently. I switched to AF versions of beer and gin, but don't really bother with AF wine other than an occasional AF Prosecco. Sometimes drinking was a habit, a breakthrough was realising that I would reach for a drink in unfamiliar situations/places. Airport? Drink. Member of the Royal Family dies? Drink. DC struggling at school? Drink. When I get those triggers now I still feel them, like when there's an unexpected step down, but I can consider them for what they are now and think about how I choose to respond. That feels very powerful.
I don't owe anyone an explanation for not drinking. I never have to explain. I don't have to justify not smoking, after all. When people are persistent (which is rare) I say that alcohol stopped my hrt working. If they push any further I talk about alcohol being a carcinogen and they normally find someone else to talk to at that point...
I don’t take stopping for granted because I know how easily I could start again. I’m grateful every single day, and especially to the great women on this thread who have shared so much here.

SillyLittleMargaret · 13/11/2022 19:40

Happy anniversary @Crunchymum and @Stircrazyschoolmum you've done amazingly!

I however am having a massive wobble this evening but it's a bit weird...
I have no intention of drinking tonight, have an early start tomorrow morning and am about to start a run of night shifts, so absolutely won't be drinking. But for some reason as I was driving earlier, thoughts of socialising with friends and the Christmas work party idly snuck into my mind and before I knew it I was having a massive tussle with myself over whether being sober forever is a silly overreaction and that I'll be more part of the team if I have a few drinks when we go out. I'm feeling worried that people won't like me as much or connect with me as much if I don't drink. I do struggle with feelings of acceptance and hate to think people don't like me - I'm working on it, but it's hard and I feel (at the moment) that not drinking will be isolating and lead to people thinking I'm a bit odd or boring.
How do the rest of you get past this??

WendyWagon · 13/11/2022 20:25

@Blackberryblossom hello, congratulations.
I did have a name change from Sav due to a MN battering. I didn't think people actually 'searched' previous posts to chuck at a person. I now only really use WW for this thread. Admitting to having had a alcohol dependancy is not 'quite naice'.
@SillyLittleMargaret i feel the same about Christmas. I love Christmas but I know it will be a struggle. We can only do but try. I will be getting the Gordon's af in bulk!

SillyLittleMargaret · 13/11/2022 20:44

@WendyWagon I'm glad I'm not the only one...sorry for not remembering but this your first AF Christmas?

@Blackberryblossom you couldn't have posted at a better time! I've read and re-read it. Thank you for being so honest and open and for all your suggestions. I'm in awe of your two years 🥹

Blackberryblossom · 13/11/2022 20:55

@SillyLittleMargaret I think a lot more people worry about “fitting in” than would appear at first sight. I’m not sure if alcohol ever really helped me fit in any better, but it did stop me worrying about it so much. Until the morning after… Christmas is hard after a lifetime of drinking expectations but it feels great to navigate it without hangovers and regret. Sometimes I longed for the kind of job where commitment was only required during work hours. No obvious answers I’m afraid, all you can do is remember your “why” and plan for the events. I think there are tactics, like getting your own drinks, leaving early

@WendyWagon thank you! Can’t believe you had to name change. I think there was a regular poster named NameChange with some numbers too… congratulations on your new home!

Blackberryblossom · 13/11/2022 21:09

Thank you @SillyLittleMargaret , that means a lot. I think I posted too early on my last post - there are lots of podcasts about how to handle work do’s. Leaving a bit earlier is one that I swear by - I’ll never be the last person on the dance floor, and honestly people don’t notice as much as we worry they do.
For Christmas, I made sure that we had plenty of alcohol free drinks. I mean, far more than I think I’ll need plenty. Posh raspberry lemonade that I can drink with my dd, really nice AF beers that DH will drink with me. I like Wilfred’s at Christmas, and splash out on nice mixers. Some lovely glasses to drink from too.

WendyWagon · 14/11/2022 07:20

Morning all.
Daft question but is anyone allergic to tonic water?
I couldn't find faux gin in Italy, (although it was advertised at the airport! ) so had little fruit juices. I had a couple of Gordon's af last night and got up in the night (tiddles) with spots this morning.
I once got given a quinine based drug for my RA and it didn't suit.

@SillyLittleMargaret i have a need to be liked too. I am a very confident person, successful, educated etc. However because I was bullied as a child I seek to fit in. I am working on accepting me for who I am. Alcohol was my tool to cover up any slight or exclusion. School gate mums, members of my family, difficult colleagues.
My family I have dealt with through therapy, school gate days are over for me and I intend to launch my own company next year. We are all a work in progress. Wine was my friend for twenty years until it wasn't. Today is a happy day.

SillyLittleMargaret · 14/11/2022 07:56

@WendyWagon snap. I could have written that exact paragraph. Added to some weird dynamics at home between my mum and my sister and me (but that's a whole other post ~therapists problem~.
I did like @Blackberryblossom's comment that there are far more people who feel they struggle to 'fit in' than we know though.

Kindtomyself · 14/11/2022 08:14

Yep another one for not feeling like they fit in and drinking to mask it. I've always felt like I really struggle with navigating life while others seemingly float through like swans on a river

Kindtomyself · 14/11/2022 08:19

Great accomplishment and very positive post @Blackberryblossom.

One thing that helps me to deal with day to day angst is to be present, to get out of my head and truly be there. It really helps, I'm not perfect at it but there are days when I just manage it and I feel so much clearer and stronger. It's about not listening to that voice in your head and just focusing on the now.

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 14/11/2022 09:12

Don’t be fooled by the swans @Kindtomyself!!! I probably looked like a swan at certain times in my life, but nobody could see my little legs frantically paddling under the water just to stay afloat!!!😂

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 14/11/2022 09:15

Haven’t managed to fully catch up with the thread but also wanted to send huge congrats to @Blackberryblossom for two years, and thank you for sharing such an inspiring post❤️

Kindtomyself · 14/11/2022 09:19

Ha @BunniesBunniesBunnies I know that's the thing. How many of those swans are struggling to keep afloat?

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 14/11/2022 09:30

I think all of them @Kindtomyself! Or at least that’s what I tell myself😂 I’m more of an upside down swan these days😂

Breathmiller · 14/11/2022 10:09

blackberryblossom how wonderful to see you here and massive congratulations on your 2 years! I'm going to go back and read your posts again, so much wisdom in there.

I hear those that are saying they don't fit in. I have always felt that and I agree that I drank to mask it. It's quite a timely conversation as I am feeling a little dip in my resilience after the weekend. I was invited out to a party in a pub on Saturday. All lovely, so grateful to be invited. The whole not drinking thing didn't worry me beforehand as I feel quite confident in my sobriety and knew I'd be happy to have a lime and lemonade. I did have a good time but it has left me feeling a little like a fish out of water. These are not people I normally socialise with, but they are my (very lovely) local community. My not drinking became a little bit of a conversation as it seemed so alien to some people. I forgot that I lived in a little bit of a bubble where it wasn't such a big deal.

I did end up chatting to a woman who wanted to stop and was only having one because she felt she should rather than because she wanted it. It was good to talking to her. But it seemed a big thing within the group. And I found myself drawn into funny conversations about how much I used to drink. We also all talked about when we started drinking. Almost like I needed to prove I wasn't a boring bastard my whole life.

It did all make me wonder where I fit in though. I agree that some people seem to swan through life without all the angst about it that I seem to have and it all left me feeling a bit low yesterday.

I am a bit better at not caring what other people think (thanks menopause) but I think it has always been a huge thing for me and still rears it's head more than I would like. I also wonder why I have made this such a thing! Why can't I just go out and have a couple of drinks and that be it?

I have another party next weekend and I have similar worries about it. I know I won't drink and I dont want to but I wonder how the evening will go. How will I fit in? Maybe I just don't actually like parties like that anymore? But, I'm strangely also quite a sociable person so that is a dichotomy.

I was watching telly last night and someone had a bottle of wine and for the first time in ages, I wished that I could do that and the thought came into my head that maybe I could. Moderate that is.
And that's why I came on here,
to remind myself why I am doing this and to feel like I fit in somewhere and you lot understand.

SillyLittleMargaret · 14/11/2022 10:40

Oh @Breathmiller we really are all so similar! I COMPLETELY empathise and understand all you have said. Sometimes I wonder if I'm overly sensitive and that maybe other people don't feel and worry like I do, but then I try to believe that everyone feels it (just like @Blackberryblossom said) and that lots of people are better at covering it- and that those that don't feel it are probably only the psychopaths or narcissists!. To be honest I probably seem quite confident when I'm with company, but underneath (and afterwards) I'm wracked with insecurity and self doubt.

I too am victim of seeing someone drinking wine on TV and wishing/thinking I could do that. Totally glamourises it doesn't it? Definite comparisons to how smoking was depicted in the 70's 😳

SillyLittleMargaret · 14/11/2022 10:42

I loved The Split and Bad Sisters but I don't know if I could watch at the moment - masses of casual wine drinking (and very few hangovers...)!

SillyLittleMargaret · 14/11/2022 10:57

On the other hand...Fisherman's Friends 2 is a decent feel-good film with Imelda May doing a fab job as a now sober ex-rocker who helps one of the lads get sober too. Really very touching at times (with one slightly eye-rolling bit of casualty-inspired drama 🙄) x

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 14/11/2022 12:46

Oh wow @Breathmiller that could have been my post word by word. So so so familiar! When I ask myself the question (why can’t I just have that one glass?) I often answer like this:
Maybe I could! Maybe I’ve changed. Maybe I can moderate now and enjoy the odd glass.
Then again maybe I can’t, and I’ll skip straight back into drinking far too much and being anxious, depressed, exhausted, unfit and unhealthy. Hence undoing all my hard work.
so even if maybe I COULD moderate, is it really worth the risk? For now, I have decided that it’s not!
hats off to all you awesome people, keep up the good work