The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@Crayonpenny thank you. I am off to see a 'tired' cottage tomorrow. It's previous sale fell through. It is in my favourite village but there is always stiff competition as we are close to London. Big fancy schools too.
I need a bit of old school luck with the sellers liking me over some flash Harry with London cash. Problem is I am a six foot tall ratbag that everyone likes to challenge. I go in the cheap car/ togs, I am a chancer, the full kit, they try to use me to pace set. I am feeling very vulnerable atm. Hanging on to sobriety with my fingertips.

You can do this @WendyWagon . But whether you get this cottage or not doesn’t reflect on you as a person - it sounds like you’re seeing yourself as being in competition with the estate agents and the other bidders, and that you need to “win” to be worthy. .I hope you don’t think I’m out of line saying this. Your post earlier about your mother playing you off against your sibling really stopped me in my tracks, because earlier this year I’d done an exercise of asking myself “what are you achieving FOR?”. I realised that my mother’s love was conditional- I had to be good enough and smart enough to earn it. Bollocks to that. I am enough. You are enough. I may need more chocolate, though

Stick with it @WendyWagon. The right cottage will come along.

Went to one of these sport evenings yesterday. The guest speaker was Paul Merson. Interestingly, after all he's been through, he was just walking back from a quiet Sunday night in the pub when he decided enough was enough and he now hasn't had a drink in over three years.

I've just spent £60 on thermal underwear and dug out two matching blankets and put them in the living room. That will keep us going for a while.

Have a safe and sober weekend everyone.

Day 153

@DeedIDo @Onewildandpreciouslifelads. Thanks.
I am always in competition. The family, work, school gate mums (ffs mine are 23/19 and some of these women are still at it).
My bestie has just said this weeks cottage although lovely would be a bad buy in a recession. I am trying to get a home to help me fill my days. I do volunteer but I need a garden. Chickens too. Our rental will be sold in the spring. We have moved a lot, part the reason I was alcohol dependent. Never secure. Not my own walls for years.

Hope you're ok @WendyWagon and perhaps enjoying a 0% Gordon's. Everything will fall into place re cottage, it's just bloody frustrating this part of house buying.

@DeedIDo I'm jealous, not a gunners fan, but hearing Paul Merson speak would have been interesting. I would never have guessed that he decided to give up the drink after a quiet night in the pub, fair play to him.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I have to now ask, what's your chocolate of choice.

Hello everyone… I’ve been lurking for a while but coming up to 4 weeks alcohol free so thought it was a good time to say hi 👋

@Thenakedwineglass lurk no more!
glad you found us and amazing that you are four weeks dry now 👍
how have you found it so far? My first weeks were tough at the time but so pleased I staggered on.

@ChampooPapi how has the week been for you?
@Crayonpenny 😂question of the week asking about the chocolate!
have a sober and happy weekend sisters.

Morning all.
@Thenakedwineglass welcome, I love the name.

@Crayonpenny I did have a Gordon's af but was desperate to sleep well. Legged it to my scratcher and the telly early.

Off to view another cottage today in my favourite village. Daughter would prefer an urban setting but I can't get everything.

Room for me to 'Tom and Barbara'. Lots to do internally but I like that. I fancy having a go at making a af drink. Never tried it before but I love fruit and herbs so you never know.

Have a happy day my friends.

@Crayonpenny usually it’s a Twirl, but this week I needed the big guns so moved up to a Yorkie.

welcome @Thenakedwineglass and well done on 4 weeks!

good luck with the viewing @WendyWagon . My MIL is a wise and lovely woman, and she used to say “What’s meant for you won’t go by you” when we were house-hunting.

How are you this morning @glindathegoodbitch ?

Operation date is Friday - I got a cancellation. It tells you something when your surgeon’s PA greets you with “here we go again, eh, love?”

I decided to stay with my half marathon training plan until I have the op, so I’m going for a 10 miler this morning - it’s a beautiful bright autumn morning here.

Have a lovely sober Saturday all x

Good morning all and thanks for the warm welcome. Finding it ok… doing the alcohol experiment which has been really good and lots of podcasts. And am working my way rapidly though AF alternatives

Also remembering no one ever regrets not drinking the night before

have a good day all

@Onewildandpreciouslife
Thank you. I love that saying especially in a Scottish accent!
I use to be a middle distance runner. Loved it. Great headspace clearing stuff. Sadly my RA doesn't allow me to do it anymore. I envy you.
Now sober Saturdays is a good aim because most of the drinkers I know never had one. F*ck it Fridays put paid to that.

I have got ants in my pants this morning over the house appointment. I very excited. My son said 'wow, the garage is huge'. He tinkers with an old sports car that we have been needing to ditch.
I will report back.

I have just put the bitter orange tonic in the fridge for later. Oh the excitement but I like it!

Hi Everyone,

@Thenakedwineglass Good work on the 4 weeks 😊

@AlloftheTime @Onewildandpreciouslife Haha, kids were in bed and I had the tv to myself (married at first sight, please don't judge) and my mind wandered to chocolate and the other half had eaten all of the chocolate in the house and then gone to work so I needed a distraction!

Can't beat a twirl (orange twirl is nice) and I do like a Yorkie, none of this 'it's not for girls rubbish'! I'm starting to see that Christmas chocolate is slowly spreading in the shops and tempted to start stocking up - I think Tesco has 2 of the tubs for £7 at the moment but it's highly doubtful they will stay sealed and we'll end up with a tub devoid of anything bar the little bounties.

@WendyWagon Sav, that sounds exciting, fingers crossed!!!

@Onewildandpreciouslife Glad you've managed to get a date re your Op. Kudos to the 10 mile, it's a gorgeous day here as well. Nippy but bright and crisp which is nice.

Hope everyone has great day and starts October as we mean to go on.

Afternoon!

Well! Whoopee! Managed to get through my son's football without wanting to curl up on the sideline because I had a lovely evening painting and chatting on front of the fire while we watched a movie. Not a hint of wine in sight.

If I managed a sober Friday before, I would always 'reward' myself with a big drink on Saturday. Not today Satan 😂

So we are cooking up chocolate, marshmallow puff pastries and I'm on day two of the 'oh my god my house is a mess' organised mummy method cleaning. And it's weirdly satisfying.

I'm so so pleased to hear you are all doing well. I'm picking up quickly on the idea that sugar may become my best friend for a while and trying to counter that with nuts and imagining they are ferrero Roche... I can't say it's working.

Is sober insomnia a thing? I've woken up at 1 the last two nights and not been able to go to sleep. It's also then that my mind starts wandering to the thought of drinking (not in the middle of the night, but preplanning a binge 😔)

@WendyWagon Cottage hunting sounds lovely! Good luck and yes please for updates xx
@Onewildandpreciouslife running is definitely on my to do list, I'm very impressed xx
@Thenakedwineglass 4 weeks! I'd love to know more about the alcohol experiment 👐👐
@Crayonpenny you're so positive! Absolutely love it xx

Keep going lovelies. I really got the push forward I needed this morning from reading all of your inspiring messages.

Flipping marvelous ❤️

Hi @glindathegoodbitch sounds like an enjoyable Friday night (and Saturday morning!)

Saw the alcohol experiment when was looking at the naked mind (hence the user name). You sign up for 30 days and each day there are ‘lessons’ - short videos about the effects of alcohol on sleep, anxiety etc. so found some of them quite interesting (and also gave another thing to distract with in the evening rather than having a drink)

Evening all.
Cottage was lovely but a queue and a bun fight I suspect (the previous viewee crashed my slot, rude git) I had a email late last night to say the ritzy cottage (think pink granite, spa bath. and a huge kitchen) is mine if I want it! They had turned the offer down so I think they might have finally watched the news the following night. It is small vis a vis others but it is full on glamour. Who doesen't want a bit of glamour? Cheaper to heat too! I ordered some more roses.
I am so tired of the looking, fighting and sealed bid sh*t. I am going for it.
Just going to mix the Gordon's af, cheers my friends.

Sorry to hear that the cottage viewing today was a bit of a nightmare Sav @WendyWagon but that's great news re the other cottage! Do you think it could move quickly? Fingers crossed it goes nice and smoothly, you deserve a run of that after all of this!

@glindathegoodbitch Yep, I unfortunately struggled with the insomnia. I was thinking happy days, I will sleep like a baby but it was a bit hit / miss for me with pretty lucid dreams, waking up and not being able to sleep. It did get progressively better, I guess after your body has been used to sleeping being 'aided', it takes a little while to reset the clock so to speak.

@newmum738 good to hear the holiday was a success 👏
happy Sunday all

Morning all.

@Onewildandpreciouslife great news about the op date. I hope you have a lovely run! 10 miles is a favourite distance of mine too. Jealous of your nice weather though, it’s grim here.
@WendyWagon it sounds stressful but hopefully when you secure the perfect home it will all be worth it!!! We need to move too as we live in a lovely but too small home but the stress of moving is putting me off… And obviously the uncertain (expensive) times aren’t helping neither.

I need to go for a run too. But this weather…

Morning all.
Up early as I am so excited. Been stalking ebay.
No champoo, I had a faux gin and bitter orange tonic. I was struggling on Thursday but have managed to keep my sobriety. I know a lot of you never think about the drink however I doubt that it will ever leave me. It still takes quite a lot of my headspace. When I have less time on my hands perhaps it won't? I will have a garden again, hoorah. I can dig for good mental health.
Have a lovely day all, I shall be reading.

Hi All,

Exiting times @WendyWagon !! I know what you mean re thoughts, I find sometimes it can be underlying and won't buzz off. Hope your eBay stalking is fruitful.

Up since 6.10 - thanks 4 year old aka I'M NOT TIRED! Sweet in a way though watching a film in bed, previously would have still done this but I would have just felt all fuzzy and not totally present so I'm grateful for these memories.

Happy Sunday!

@WendyWagon I do think it booze especially when I’m struggling. I think of it a lot less as time goes by but yeah when times are tough I still have an urge to numb all the hard feelings. I’m sure we’re not alone in this!
One thing I have noticed is that those thoughts of booze have become more “abstract” now I’ve been sober longer. As in - I’m not actually on the verge of drinking, it’s just a distant thought of a thing I could do to take the edge off. That’s not to say I’m complacent with my sobriety though, I always stay vigilant.

@Crayonpenny my youngest had me up at that hour too😭 But I’ve just come back from a lovely long run and feel a lot more human now. Hope you had a nice run too @Onewildandpreciouslife

I also think of booze wendywagon. I think it can be easy to fall into the idea that it's only ourselves that have a particular issue or that we aren't doing "as well" as others. But, I find these days that although there are obviously differences in how we tackle life, there are more similarities than not with our fellow humans.

Like bunnies said, I do still think of booze but it's a great way to describe it as more "abstract" now. I don't crave the taste of particular favourites or fall into habits. I suppose because over the last 2 years I have let go of these habitual patterns and made new ones. So, that's not such an issue as it was in the first few months or even the first year.

The first habit for me was the 5 o'clock habit. Then the Friday night habit. Then the birthdays and Christmases and the constant cycle of high days and low days. I've done all of these a few times over now where I have changed the habit of reaching for alcohol. So, it's definitely not such a pull as it was.

But, yes, I still find myself sometimes wondering if I could go back to drinking? Could I moderate? Could I fall into a vat of wine and get pissed and it wouldn't be the end of the world?

And THAT is why I not only need to stay vigilant in the back of my mind but also why I still hang out here. To remind me that these thoughts, however quiet these days and/or infrequent, they are still there and it wouldn't take an awful lot to risk my sobriety.

Hi all, just popping in to wish you all well on your AF journeys. I was here with DryBird at the start- under another name - will be 3 years AF on December 29th. I am happier, healthier and much more content without it! Sleep better and definitely don’t miss ‘the fear’ the next day. Also completely off antidepressants that I was on before.
keep going everyone! Future you will thank you! X

@BunniesBunniesBunnies Ummm, after being up at that hour I managed to have a bacon sandwich watching some cheesy Christmas film and you did a run. Ooops! Does getting beaten at 10pin bowling by a 6 year old offset it a bit?!!!

Hi @GreenLeavesRustling that's great, lovely to hear how much of a difference it can make as well as the length of your AF period so far.

@Crayonpenny that sounds so familiar, it happens to me all the time😂😂😂
@GreenLeavesRustling thanks so much for the hugely inspirational post. Your long term sobriety is so impressive and the fact you no longer take antidepressants speaks for itself!
Love it when long term sober peeps pop on the thread to keep us all going😀