The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@Endofmytetherfinally I had a bullying colleague last year and my drinking got so much worse. I made some poor decisions whilst pissed / hungover.
I am usually a big cheese but I am considering a new career as I don't want to rely on alcohol to deal with work issues. Life is too short.

Life is too short you are right @SavBbunny ! It's been a funny old time as it's been my dear relatives death anniversary but I didn't drink on the day to block out the horrible feelings just remembered how amazing they were and got taken too soon (was a young person).
Hope everyone had a good weekend and Monday. Kids are back for me today and back to work so I'm excited but feeling the stress and panic already, will they like their new teachers, will they be good, will they make friends in their new classes ,will one of them continue to make friends (says he hasn't got any in current class the little one), will they eat their lunch, first time they're going to after school care will they be tired and miss me after being stuck to me for 6 weeks??! Anyway sure it'll all be fine. Lol. On and up. Have a good day all.

Morning all.
Excellent sleep last night. I really do conk out.
@Namechanged12344 the children will be fine. And you present and correct as their mum will help that.

I did something radical last night and applied to teach. Very excited.

That’s okay exciting @SavBbunny!!! Good luck with the application.

Still struggling to manage my mood which is very up and down. Doing a lot of exercise which helps. I now treat exercise like I do sleeping and eating. I’ve got to do it to stay alive!

I do spend far too much time on my phone, especially WhatsApp (not necessarily a social media person). I really want to cut down but I worry I’ll be socially isolated as I work alone (from home) every day. Still, I should address this as I don’t think it’s helping my mood.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies
I am not very good at wfh. I find it isolating too. I don't do twitter but use MN a fair bit for market research. I also have my abridged diary on Facebook but it is just family really.
I confess I always have a break at 5pm for The Chase. God help those who want a late meeting. I like to shout at the telly. I sometimes even watch Countdown 😁
Better than waiting for wine o'clock Bunnies. Chin up.

I’m off to google The Chase now @SavBbunny😂

I just did a little meditation (Headspace). I’m awful at it but I think I need to do it.
It’s a beginners course, it was only 6 minutes. I was so tense. Towards the end there was a bit where you could let your mind wander freely and it chose to go to a very difficult place and I cried.
I can’t see how this is going to be good for me. Then again maybe my mind needed to go to that place and maybe I needed to cry (I suppress so many feelings all the time). I’m going to try and stick with it for a while to see if it helps.

Better out than in. I cry to films.
I love The pursuit of Happyness (not my spelling). Makes me feel grateful. Poor sod. Also good for ambition and decency. Karma if you will.
I think alcohol for woman gets used as a kosh. We cover things up, keep the home fires burning! I think i might write a book, 'the unhappy boozer' . At least it would be honest (I need to wear dark glasses and a wig).

hello all - found time to pop in now the kids are back and i've managed to get some work done today... only read this page but i agree with the isolation of wfh although it is all i have done since having the children been a SAHM or WFH. i miss the interaction of real people but i couldnt cope with being out the house... i need to get my arse to some evening classes, but tbh by the evening i am always so knackered and ready to zone out... i have one exercise class a week so maybe if i could fit in something else more sedate.. on the plus side still not even thinking about drinking. the odd 'ooph that would be nice' but it passes quickly, i've used the think it forward for the strongest urges. I love the idea of watching the chase, i need to find something i can reward myself with..not food as i am finally tackling that beast after a summer of indecent excess!

Evening all.
Evening @Fortheloveofgodwhy I do love your name. Always reminds me of father Ted.
Back before January 5pm was about the time I cracked open the grog. I now time my cooking etc by the segments (I need to get out more folks I know).
I do love a quiz.
London Essence tonic is now in little cans in Tesco.

Day 2 here and feeling incredibly anxious. I'm trying to reassure myself by saying it's the alcohol working it's way out of my body!
Realized I was drinking more than a bottle of wine every evening, something has to change

Welcome @Improvising , and congratulations on deciding to make a change. The first few days are hard, I’m afraid, but the worst of it is usually done by days 3-4, and after about 10-14 days the various chemical effects of alcohol should have finished.

(for the science bit: alcohol raises levels of cortisol, which is a stimulant - it’s the stuff that gives you the energy boost when you’re drinking, and then keeps working as the lovely 3am beer fear! It takes about 10 days for your cortisol level to get back to normal, so those of us who were daily drinkers won’t have had normal levels of cortisol for years!)

keep going! It will get better

Morning all.
Welcome @Improvising .
It will get better I promise you.
Nowt lovelier than waking up after a full sleep.
Try to rest up a bit, you may feel tired and needing sugar. Go with it or buy some sweet fruit.

Welcome @Improvising! The anxiety could be a physical response to the lack of alcohol, but in my case (I was very anxious after quitting) it was also caused by the simple fact I now had to face lots of shit in my life without numbing it with booze. This was hard and because of the sheer amount shit in my life at the time the anxiety lasted quite a while. Having said that, I certainly started seeing some benefits of sobriety immediately and the benefits kept on coming. I am now SO much less anxious. In fact, I would say that the improvements to my mental health (feeling less anxious/depressed) are for the the most obvious perk of sobriety.

I have had to develop lots of healthy coping mechanisms which I am so so grateful for. I now work out a lot, go outside, have baths, listen to podcasts etc instead of reaching for the wine.

Do you have any hobbies or coping mechanisms for when you feel stressed? Early bedtimes and baths/showers are great too.

Welcome @Improvising
The anxiety should lessen with time. Dealing with life without alcohol takes practice. I’m on week 19….which is a week away from 5 months if my brain has added it up right. My mental health has improved a lot. I’d say it’s the biggest change I’ve noticed. I suppose the alcohol and anxiety is like being on a hamster wheel, with one fuelling the other. It’ll take your brain a while to realise it’s not on the wheel anymore!
I’m finding stressful events are easier to deal with too. I have a degree of clarity that I didn’t have when I was drinking. My dh who’s stopped too, has noticed this in both of us. Eg we were running late for a hospital appointment. Normally this would have ended up with us getting grumpy with each other and blaming each other. We actually figured out a way to shorten our journey and get there on time. This wouldn’t have happened when we were drinking.

Thank you, what lovely supportive messages
Feeling great today and have been so productive!! Just got to get past the next few hours. I'm so determined

Morning all.
Off out to find some new jeans now I am not so bloated. Two stone down but plenty more to go.
Cheese and crisp habit now in moderation.

Morning all. @SavBbunny 2 stone is amazing! Enjoy the shopping.

I’ve kept going with my daily meditations. I’m still unsure about it but I think I need it at the moment. Just did one in my car in a car park before work😂

@SavBbunny woo hoo! New jeans are a good thing. It’s amazing how we just ignore calories in alcohol like they don’t count or something. Then the evil crisps. I managed to replace the crisps with another very addictive lentil snack from Real Eats that is slightly better for me.

@Breathmiller the meditation thing is a strange one for me. I used to be able to meditate every day, sometimes twice. Then lockdown happened and my brain just wouldn’t go off to that happy place. I’m trying again but tbh it’s a bit of a chore about 50% of the time. I feel like I just need to practice a bit more and I’ll get back into it. Sometimes I just lie there (I meditate lying down) and my brain won’t shut up. Other times I fall asleep😴 It’s fine I suppose as my busy brain is working through things. Sometimes I figure things out. The sleeping is ok too. My body must have needed it.

2 stone is amazing @SavBbunny 👏
Well done!!! I am seriously impressed.

I am a stone down from my heaviest but not really been on the weight loss vibe since I've stopped drinking. I think I'd have felt too deprived if I gave yo everything.

I feel confident enough now that I won't drink so I'm beginning to tackle the weight. A stone before Xmas would be fabulous.

Plan is to cut out all refined sugar. I had become accustomed to a daily treat (or sometime daily "treats") so I'm going to knock that on the head.... I'm actually day 4 of no sweet shit!

In a few weeks I'll go back to MFP and start calorie counting more proactively.

Also trying for my 10k a day steps. Trying and failing so far as the weather is thwarting me. Need to get a new waterproof.

Yo = up

@Crunchymum
One of my reasons for af was to prepare for wls. No booze, no fatty foods. However I have had some serious thought provoking advice from my son (an athlete) and a close friend. They both think if I carry on with 2 stone per 6/7 months I should lose the lot in 2 years. I really don't overeat anymore, I can't, I feel sick and my bff thinks wls is not for me as I like to entertain. Her niece can bearly manage a child's portion. That would be difficult for my social life. I think if I refused food and drink I would have no friends left!

I stopped drinking 8 months ago today and it feels like yesterday. I have had some bumps in the road but I am proud of me. No shaming stories, no apologies.

well done SavB 8 months is great and if you can lose the weight through changing your habits then you will maintain it and feel better for it. I have known 3 people have wls, one died from alcohol abuse... maybe because of underlying issues moving from eating to drinking, or maybe because the alcohol effected her more. I don't know. One friend lost loads of weight but believes the surgery has failed because they are gaining weight, 50% back on 4 years after surgery (they are also eating more...!) the third seems happy, but she can only eat tiny portions really. So while it is a good quick fix my very limited survey tells me 2/3 times it isn't the fix they needed.

welcome @Improvising whilst i don't want to do day1 again i kind of miss the thrill of counting those first days, weeks and months. I'm now just over 7 months i think. Loads of great support on these threads.

@Crunchymum i've started on MFP this week, a few holiday kilos to shift i lost 2 stone back in 2020 and swopping alcohol for chocolate was fine but then holiday on top.. too much so i am targeting it now. I feel very grown up... lets see if i can last the 2 weeks i need to drop 2/3kg and get back in my comfy to wear my jeans zone...

@Fortheloveofgodwhy interesting thank you. My research now says the same. There is a massive transfer risk from over eating to drinking and that would be a massive risk for me. My friends niece has started to gain weight too.
If I continue to spend £50 a week on therapy (cheaper than my wine habit) that is the equivalent of the surgery over 4 years. Hopefully I will have worked through my issues in a shorter time frame.
I have had much better mental health.
This thread has helped so much. Thank you all.

8 months is brilliant @SavBbunny. And you’ve been a constant inspiration on this thread❤️❤️❤️

It’s a very personal decision with regards to the surgery. For some it can be a live changing decision (in a positive way). Don’t let anyone scare you into a decision either way, you know what’s best for you! I’m sure there is a “transfer risk” but with 8 months of sobriety under your belt I don’t think you should let this put you off the surgery. If you choose to have the surgery, I’m sure you will be able to keep making the life style changes required.

Hello..! Checking in. Day 26 🙌 be back later when I've had a good catch up read. 😉