Day 1 - Breaking the habit

[BacksideInParsley]

I am on Day 1 here. Looking for others who are at this initial stage of recovery.

I am here because I admit that my life has become unmanageable. I cannot cope with the crippling anxiety and chaos from nights drinking wine in front of the telly.

I called my Dad this morning and told him that I have been drinking 1.5 bottles of white wine on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday night and I can't do it anymore and want to stop. He said he is worried about me and it's positive that I've got to this stage of wanting to stop and is going to support me to do that.

I'm going to work on other things that can physically get me to break the habit. Move the TV into another room for the summer. Don't allow alcohol in the house.

I live with my DH who I would say is an alcoholic. We don't have kids. DH is working on his own sobriety separate to mine.

Hello! Day 1 here, too. Happy to share this journey with you and will check back in. I also have a partner with his own drinking problem too, so can relate. I do believe recovery is possible, it is just hard to get started! But we can do it.

well done. Try and create new habits. Go out for a walk? Something creative that keeps your hands busy? Nice alternative drinks. Lots of quit lit- books/podcasts. A few treats - nice (healthy) food, body lotion. Put the money aside you’d spend on wine.

good luck! Taking each day at a time was what got me through and I’m 2,5 years AF. Do NOT try and moderate. Doesn’t work.

@Notabsolutelycertain yes we can do it. It's not going to be easy but life will be sooo much better. It is particularly hard when you live with a drinker. We just have to work on ourselves. Do the things that @manlyago suggests. Do the things we love! Make a good life.

I'm day 2 here. Have come to realise that I've been using alcohol as a crutch to try and deal with my anxiety. As we all know its actually a vicious circle it's making my anxiety worse.

Not been drinking everyday but would say it's most days. Want to chill out, have a drink. Stressy day at work, have a drink. It's a nice day our, let's go to a beer garden and have a drink. Meeting people in a social setting, have a drink to calm the nerves.

Finally admitted to Dp yesterday that I'm not happy with my relationship with alcohol and I'm done. Scary but I'm determined.

The thing is the alcohol makes you more anxious. I’m leading a much better, richer life AF. Feeling things can be a shock after numbing then for yours. But just go with it. My sleep was shocking after going AF so be prepared for that. It does get better though.

*Years

@Nomorebeer22 it's absolutely terrible for anxiety. I'm feeling it now. I just want the day to be over so I can sleep and wake up ok. I already take anti-anxiety medication and when I drink it doesn't work. After even just a couple of days off drinking that anxiety goes away and I feel positive and confident and I get organised. I'm planning on telling the truth when I'm challenged by people on why I'm choosing to go alcohol free. I'm going to tell them I am not drinking because of my mental health.

@BacksideInParsley I was honest. People surprised me. They were very positive . Only one or two weren’t and they unsurprisingly were the ones with their own issues with alcohol.

I found telling a few people made me accountable. I just said I was having a break from it, no big deal.

@manlyago That's good to hear. I'm scared about how I'll manage the "I don't want a wine" in situations where I've always had a wine and I'm expected to. I've tried before and gave in to pressure / humour about it / dismissing it extremely easily. If I am ready with "by the way I'm not drinking at the moment because of my mental health" then I'll feel stronger. If I give in then it is truly not respecting yourself if you don't even want to look after your own mind.

One thing I have come to realise is that theres loads I want to do but always say I have no time. I would have time if I wasn't drinking. I can actually study to further my career a couple of evenings a week if I'm AF as studying after a few drinks obviously doest work. I can start exercising in the morning if AF because I wont be feeling rough. Having no time for these things was just an excuse, I was prioritising drinking as it made me "feel better".

Tomorrow is going to be the tester as I know I have a manic day ahead of me in work. Breaking the habit of getting home and pouring a drink is going to be difficult.

Yes don’t apologise just say no thanks very firmly. I’m taking a break from drinking. Don’t feel you need to explain unless they’re good supportive friends. You should be mad at people pressurising you! Be proud and stand up for yourself. People may surprise you. But be confident about it.

That was @BacksideInParsley

Maybe go for a walk or a run @Nomorebeer22 or make a new habit? A cup of herbal tea can relax you. Yoga? It’s good you’re thinking ahead.

That was my flashpoint too but I got there!

@Nomorebeer22 do you have alcohol in the house. I poured it all down the sink last night to make sure I am not tempted. I will drive past the supermarket after work tomorrow and plan to pot some geraniums, do some food prep and avoid the tv by going to bed early to read my book. If there was wine chilling in the fridge I'd be straight there pouring a large glass of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc for an evening of relaxation and fun... then that would be my Tuesday buggered, I'd be anxious and hungover and chaotic and come home for the same again...

Hi @BacksideInParsley tomorrow is my Day 1 as it's my DS birthday and I feel I owe it to him to stop drinking and all the knock on effects. I've even bought a notebook so I can journal in it. I've set myself the target of 100 days but want to continue after that. I'm mentally picturing myself looking and feeling better in a years time. In fact I'm actually looking forward to stopping.

My DP is essentially a high functioning alcoholic but I'm so determined to beat this that I'll ask him to leave if he doesn't support me. I'm on a mission!

@BacksideInParsley there is booze in the house buts its Dps wine 🤮 dont like wine so that's ok. Hes being supportive and wont buy any beers and is himself going to cut right back.

@manlyago got a nice dinner planned to cook after work and have sorted my desk out with my study books ready to distract myself after dinner.

@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs let's get this done. I'm in the same position re DH. I've told him he seeks professional help or we can't continue together. My parents say I have been pulled down by his drinking and it's up to me to be very strong with him and break this lifestyle. I have to quit completely for at least 100 days to sort out my mental health, get my finances in order and spring clean my whole life.

Hi, day 1 here as well. My drinking is very similar to yours except I would be drinking 1.5 - 2 bottles of wine every other night, or every night on bad weeks. I can get a week or so done AF and then just use any old excuse to have a blow out 😣It needs to stop as I can't deal with the anxiety and my health is suffering too. Glad you started this thread!

I've just downloaded a book I seen mentioned on another thread "Alcohol Explained". Going for a long bath and going to start it.

I have the audiobook in my library. It's really good. I'm going to listen to it again from the start @Nomorebeer22

Absolutely. Funnily enough, my Dsis says the same of my DP, his drinking has definitely worsened mine.

I've made notes of what I hope to achieve by 100 days; weight loss, better sleep, more energy, clearer skin and renewed confidence in myself. I used to be confident and sociable and now I'm not, and it's because of drinking. My DS deserves better.

@BacksideInParsley we can do this!

I found this quite a serious book and Americanised. I feel that The Sober Diaries has been better for me in that it's lighter and more positive iyswim? Doesn't matter though because it's whatever works for you!

And just like that - it's day 2! I've been trying on and off to get sober since November, so really trying to learn the lessons of my relapses.

I took advice from here and got some nice bath stuff with my weekly shop, and some snacks to get me over the initial sugar hump.

I've written out my daily routine, and included lots of meditation/grounding, and a daily gratitude list. Only 5 mins at a time but makes the world of difference to me.

I'm also going to work on my boundaries and say 'no' to situations which will trigger me at this early stage. I know what some of my triggers are now, and will be avoiding them for a few months at least. And those I can't avoid, I will acknowledge and plan for.

Still feel really scared as I don't want to fail. But I know it can be done! So many people on this board who give me hope

@Notabsolutelycertain one day at a time! I'm on day 1 and actually looking forward to being sober...I poured the remains of some drink down the sink this morning. I've also bought 0% alcohol gin and some nice tonic to have on Friday night when I get that "end of the week" feeling.