The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

@SavBbunny good news about the liver. Hope gallstones are resolved soon.

@JennyAct3 thanks xx she's very sweet and bright young woman also a force to be reckoned with! She's still fighting with anorexia unfortunately. There are many "if only" regards her treatment and care plans and late diagnosis of autism.
Trying not to worry. It does no good.

@JesusSufferingFuck22 write away on here that's what it's here for! Wow you have been through a lot with DD and sorry you are far but she knows you are there for her that's the most important thing! And you are doing all this WITHOUT DRINKING!!! Amazing.
I'm actually looking forward to no builders in the house for the next 4 days, my further bliss would be if the kids were in school but alas they're not until next Tuesday...when I'm back to work. Why is it me who has to not work as well when kids are off. Grrrr.....anyway I was tempted to park outside Sainsbury's for cigs on the way home as I was upset about something but had kids in the car and thought no I don't need It. And I'm on day 30 whoop. I can't wait for another 30. Funnily there's a group what's app for a hobby (I used to do) and they've organised a social in the local pub and the first person who replied said oh that'll be fun with a tee totaller and the main woman organiser said I don't drink either etc etc I haven't got the nerve to say me too just yet...
Hope everyone is ok and @SavBbunny good news on the liver how's your Spidey face?

Great to hear that @SavBbunny

@JesusSufferingFuck22 So sorry to hear about your DD. It sounds like you are both being open and honest with one another, which can only be a good thing. Congratulations on 5 weeks. That's amazing.

Day 31 today! Hurrah! I'm so happy! I celebrated with chocolate earlier and an AF G&T or two later!

Best wishes to you all.

Day 74 and really struggling today. Away for the weekend and it’s sunny - my biggest triggers. I won’t drink tonight but it feels tough

@Onewildandpreciouslife you are doing so well look at you day 74! It'll be 90 days soon enough! You have been so supportive to all of us on here and you are doing so well, I would also be triggered at holidaying and sun etc it's a struggle but remember all the good things that come with not drinking and hope you have fun and get distracted away from the drink!

Thanks @Namechanged12344
I always feel a bit indulgent off loading my shit on others who are also going through shit. Though I'm always here with a sympathetic ear for others. I might not express that well though.

It has been a really rough ride for all of us since about 2009. That's when the drinking really stopped being fun. Drinking to cope with our very ill daughter didn't help us cope at all. It made it worse and made me ill. Last nights conversation with her brought it all back. I can feel these painful feelings and not reach for a drink to bury them away. I feel a bit superhuman lol

Enjoy the peace of no builders! Hope and fingers crossed for peace with the kids off school!
Well done on your willpower re cigs and congrats on day 30. Fantastic!

Thanks @Nouveaunew
Yes, it's quite mind blowing having these frank and open conversations with them. She keeps using big words though. She's very eloquent. Fortunately the conversation is often on chat so I can google to see what it means
Congratulations on day 31.

@Onewildandpreciouslife day 74! Fantastic. Sorry you're having a tough day.
Try to enjoy the sun. You can do this. Personally speaking drinking in the sun is awful anyway. Seems like a good idea at the time then after the first one it all descends into a foggy mess.

We've got this. Onwards and upwards xx

I'm struggling today because I'm tired & stressed! I've got so much on, I'm getting lots of things wrong so feeling rubbish and like I just want a release. Going to take some breaths and hope I feel better soon.

I guess if I'm positive about it, if I had a drink now, I'd get drunk and I'm with friends so it would be spoiled. Being able to still have a nice time is the thought I'll hang on to!

Checking in 🙌 still here, still sober. Going to meeting once a week which is helping a lot this time round. Sorry I've been MIA people, really do appreciate this thread and all the support 💜

Checking in.
Managed to cook dinner for all. Too poorly for a week. Honey patches have taken the ouch out of spidery wound.
Had a Gordon's 100% last night, bliss. I have run out but still too doddery to drive.
No booze around and wine police (son) here anyway.
Finally made it to my 1 1/2 stone weight loss so pleased with that. Took four months! Still feeling smug about my stuff your money settlement. Moral high ground and all that. Will need to cut back on the frocks.
Hope everyone is well and managing AF.

@SavBbunny
wow congratulations on the weight loss! 1.5 stones is amazing! I’m struggling to give up sweet things but I’ve cut back a little!

@Newmum738 Good for you! You’re dead right!

Day 32. I’ve been working on a project for a few months with a colleague I get on well with. I told him I’m off alcohol for a year (really, I want it to be forever!). I also had told him that I love Gordon’s 0% and it’s really helping me stay dry. He gave me a present today after work of a large bottle of gin. I looked at it to find 0% on it & realised it’s full strength alcohol ! He sent a text just now saying ‘you deserve a real drink after all your hard work.’ I’ll admit this has really thrown me off balance & I’ll admit I’m thinking:
’it was a gift, it’s not like I went looking for it.’
‘I can just have it on special occasions’ etc 😳

That was a bit thoughtless really, I mean, why does anyone need 'A real drink'?

My dad popped over the other day with a bottle of cava he has had at home for ages and said he was fed up of looking at it!!!! I was like wtf you know I'm not drinking and have a bad liver.... oh well he said, just give it to someone 😡 There is a long history of him being insensitive and not giving a shit about me, but that has really upset me. He is supposed to be looking after my dogs when we go away at the end of the month, and at this short notice I have no other option. But I think this may be the final nail in the coffin, it has floored me tbh.

@Nouveaunew hope you are ok. We are going to get hurdles like this you know. But I think you are strong enough by day 33 today to be like I'm not drinking this 'gift'. Either leave it at work or chuck it or gift it back to him. I went for a walk with a neighbour who has the same struggles she's not good with tech so I've ordered the sober diaries for her and she's excited about receiving it and stopping again (she stopped for 5 years her liver is damaged but she's back on it secretly) anyway she said unless you have been through it the problem of not being able to moderate noone will ever understand including my DH he will never get why I have to give up. I think he's got a fair inkling bit because he's not the same as me how can he get it?! Much like your colleague and we all know by now it's not a real drink it's real poison ! You have done so well so far. Keep at it.
@SavBbunny whaaa I'm jealous of the weight loss and I hope you are feeling proud of yourself about the bonus.
@BraveFaceScaredInside that's veery insensitive of your dad, my dad is similar too and worst is my fil who when I said I don't drink anymore laughed directly into my face! Maybe when you see him when you go away give it back to.him.and say I'm tired of looking at it especially as I DONT drink.

Oh and I'm on on day 32. Severe neck pain(past 3 days ) and lots of family members birthdays today. God help me.

Morning all.
I wrote Gordon's 100% yesterday, ment 0%. Damn fine stuff.
I have one of my lunches coming up and both ladies OK separately , together? rude, competitive and they love taking me down! Both have 'Executive' husbands and married for the cash, a bit Jane Austen. One husband OK, the other walks on water. I use to have a good skinfull in his company which obviously didn't help 😜
My 'executive' jobs are dismissed as not important, silly industry (beauty as you know). I would love to tell them my salary to wipe the smile off their faces. British reserve stops me. I am going because I want to practice a few things I have learnt in therapy. One is sticking up for myself!
There will be wine but I shall take some af grog. Neither has a drink problem.

Still spidery, still sober.
@ChampooPapi well done for attending the meetings. I found them helpful even if I wished I didn't live in such a nosey village at the time.

Day 76 and still here! It was interesting on Wednesday - I realised how much I used drinking to fill time in the past. 3 hours between arriving at the holiday flat and dinner? Let’s spend it in the pub! I was just at a loss as to what to do instead - guess it’s a question of finding new normals.

Yesterday was a test for a different reason. Dealing with my elderly DM was the thing that pushed my drinking over the edge, and I went to visit her yesterday. She has dementia and we’ve just moved her into a new care home. She hates it, apparently, is threatening to kill herself, and told me I didn’t love her because I wouldn’t let her go home. And she didn’t want me there any more. So I said ok then and left.

Last year I would have pulled the escape cord of vast quantities of Chardonnay. Yesterday I went for a walk with my family- so much better.

Good luck to everyone heading into another sober bank holiday - especially @Namechanged12344 with family birthdays!

well done @SavBbunny on the weight loss, and telling them to stick their money. Though you did make me do a double take when you said you’d had a Gordon’s 100%!

@Onewildandpreciouslife
We can never do enough with elderly parents. They become childlike. My late (and really lovely) father used to sulk if I went out. His final few years nearly killed me. I wish I had said no to being his full time live in carer. We do have one precious life and it it ain't to wipe adult bottoms and be blackmailed! Go forth my friend, you're doing great.

@SavBbunny 💙

I lapsed on Wednesday night for no real reason at all, so I'm back on day two again today. Trying very hard not to beat myself up about it and just accept that it happened and move on. I didn't sleep well that night and felt crap yesterday, all of which was predictable! Telling myself that even with a blip I have drunk much less in the last two weeks than I used to is sort of helping. I'm going away for the weekend later, hoping the change of scene helps.

@BraveFaceScaredInside
I thought it was thoughtless because I had told him I was quitting for a year and I also told him alcohol was making me very sick. Similar situation to your father.

@Namechanged12344
Thank you very much. Feeling very ‘ah f it. It must be good gin. It’s fancy.’ He said to be this morning that he and another colleague could hang out with me later in my home and he said ‘and you could have a few gins.’ I’m beginning to think he misses his trusted drinking buddy. I just hope I can hold strong when they call over and stick to my 0% Gordon’s.

@Onewildandpreciouslife
it’s tough dealing with a situation like that and well done for not drinking. It’s also nice to fill time in other ways than at the pub.

Good luck this weekend everyone 😎x

@SavBbunny well done on weight loss, I really need to lose, next project!

@Nouveaunew cross for you, I think you should gift it to someone today, anyone, a neighbour with a ‘I don’t drink would you like this?’

@BraveFaceScaredInside cross for you too! Pour it down the sink, it’s probably not expensive, just get rid of it.

Feeling really sorry for people surrounding by well meaning (or not) family and friends gifting them alcohol. DH’s friend sent me a bottle of rose for making a pretty basic picnic last week but I don’t drink rose so it’s completely safe.

Grateful my DH gave up before me. We are drinking a lot of Gordon’s AF gin, we had 3 each last night!

One month today.

@NitTodaySatan
well, it’s great in a way that it didn’t feel good so it might make your resolve even stronger…. Gabrielle Bernstein says ‘obstacles are detours in the right direction.’ 💐

@JennyAct3
I’m firing through the 0% Gordon’s too. Thanks - good idea. I think I’ll need to re-gift his expensive gift (it’s a very fancy gin!).

Thank you @Nouveaunew