The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Welcome @Ciderandskatesdontmix . I think the dynamics between us and our partners shown on this thread are really interesting.

I was one of those whose DP was desperate for me to sort out my drinking (it reduced him to tears before Christmas). So he’s supportive of me being sober, but a bit bemused by it, because from the outside, I simply stopped. He didn’t really see the months of reading quitlit on my kindle, the guilt, the internal battles. Between Dry January and Sober Spring (about 7 weeks), I drank on 16 days (I have an app!), but he can’t remember that and thinks I’ve been dry all year.

I think that the thing is - this is a thing we need to do for ourselves. However hard someone tries, you can’t be persuaded to stop unless you want to do it yourself. Equally, if you weren’t comfortable with your level of drinking, no one else should tell you that you should keep going for their benefit. As Annie Grace says at the start of The Alcohol Experiment: Your body, your choice.

I have found going sober very empowering (although I’m not taking anything for granted!), and this has spilled over into other areas of my life. My DH is also finding this rather bemusing, but he seems less keen on this!

@Onewildandpreciouslife
"I think that the thing is - this is a thing we need to do for ourselves. However hard someone tries, you can’t be persuaded to stop unless you want to do it yourself. Equally, if you weren’t comfortable with your level of drinking, no one else should tell you that you should keep going for their benefit. As Annie Grace says at the start of The Alcohol Experiment: Your body, your choice."

I now fully realise that I potentially have to dig deep to almost find the willpower for two. If my dh caves, I know I can't cave and I can't blame him for me caving either!
It's my responsibility to stop for me. I can't blame my life/disability/family problems/a bad day anymore. It's up to me to say "no, I don't drink anymore."
I need to channel some of my determination and stubbornness I use in other areas to staying af. It's bloody hard though!
Being af for good is daunting and I'm only on day 47. Week 7 on Wednesday.
I'm tired, bored, a bit depressed and anxious. They're not good enough reasons to drink. Never was.

Sending you all some of my determined vibe of today.
Happy Monday xx

@Crunchymum well done on 4 months!

@HangingOver i hope you're ok?

I seem to be struggling with time to pop in a post, then when i do the thread is pages long to catch up on. I'm still AF, thought DH was joining me after a 4 or 5 day stint without alcohol but apparently not... but nevermind i'm quite liking that this is MY thing now. And despite his denials i suspect it is rubbing off on him, he never asks me directly and i don't want to lecture him, but when others ask me about why i am not drinking he kind of has to listen to the answer if he is there so, maybe like a dripping tap it will wear him down ;-)

cross threads @JesusSufferingFuck22 all those are good reasons not to drink, because drinking will make them all worse not better.

Welcome @Ciderandskatesdontmix

I’ m feeling ashamed to be honest. I just had 3/4 of a large tub of Ben & Jerry’s, 6 chocolates, crisps and an AF G&T. I feel like I’ve given up alcohol but my addictive pathways are stronger than ever.

thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife you’re right - we do need to do it for ourselves. I have done it for myself and now I need to sort out the rest of my unhealthy habits for myself too. 🙃You remind me so much of someone I know IRL. She doesn’t live in UK though and is in her late 30s. Ye write the same and sort of seem the same! Psychic doppelgängers maybe!

@JesusSufferingFuck22 there’s absolutely no “only” about day 47. Those early days set the momentum for the long term and are so much of an achievement. I didn’t see it at the time - they are not to be underrated just because they’re measured in tens or dozens rather than hundreds. You’re three days off 50 too!
Hang in there @Nouveaunew . You probably just need to top up the sugar that you’re missing. And an AF G&T is nothing to be ashamed of either.
I’m feeling the need for a cuppa. Stay strong everyone, Monday is nearly done.
hope you’re ok @HangingOver .

Evening all. Day 8 almost done. Terrible sleep last night but hoping to feel less tired tomorrow

Waves at @LydiaLurk

Thanks @Blackberryblossom I think in my case sugar overload (not talking a few biscuits) is the real addiction. I ate almost An entire large box of chocolates in the end. I threw the last 3 out as I don’t like them but thought I’d still eat them if they weren’t in the bin. I’m finding this harder than giving up alcohol was to be honest.

Good night everyone x

Well done @EileenFH . Hope you sleep better tonight, but it will probably take time. Your brain is used to alcohol doing the job of making you sleepy, so doesn’t bother to produce sleepy chemicals itself. Eventually this will change.

You may also get really crazy dreams - so vivid that they wake you up. Your brain probably isn’t used to having REM sleep. Hang in there - every day sober is a step forward

@Nouveaunew - your post reminded me of this ….

Insomnia here too tonight/this morning@EileenFH. Not sure if related to giving up or not as I have never been a daily drinker and intermittent insomnia has been my friend even as a child.

BTW yesterday (Monday) was our day 9 I think? This is now the very early hours of day 10...

This is Lydia btw. I think I will give up on the name changing!

@Nouveaunew so last week I had bought 3 bars of those massive dairy milks from the local supermarket and one was fruit and nut and one was plain supposed to be for a friend. They melted in the car like all gone to one end and I put them in the fridge and they solidified like that (DH was like wth) and I proceeded to eat both bars in one go. So please don't feel bad for eating sugar. I see it as at least we aren't bloody drinking!!!!
Hope you aren't too tired this morning @LydiaLurk , my sleep patterns all over the place recently and then there's talk amongst school mums of peri menopause and I'm thinking please not yet another thing to add to the bloody list!!!
I think I'm on day 43/44.

Thanks @Namechanged12344 xxx

Good luck today everyone xxx

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife Very interesting. X

Into double digits. Yo!

I am soooo tired. Terrible sleep again last night. I'm going to have to find a comfort listen podcast to help me sleep.

At least I m not suffering from sugar cravings too.

Small blessings

for those of you with sugar cravings i am day ... checks app and updates...... mountains form... right i'm back .. day 128 so 4 and a bit months in, my sugar cravings are just , just starting to level out. Also no weight loss.... but no weight gain! I have always had a sweet tooth of an evening so maybe not so surprising. Many less cravings though. It doesn't generally register day to day.

it reminds me so so much of stopping smoking, the seemingly non stop desire slowly gets gaps, then bigger gaps but breath taking in the heat when they come and now more of a glancing oh, yes well that might be nice. Still very much on the wine witch patrol though, shes always changing her manipulative tricks...

Evening all - hoping for a better night's sleep here. Had an AF cider this evening - pretty much like drinking fizzy apple juice but quite nice. Now on the water - have been drinking gallons of it. I must be making up for months of dehydration.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy
thanks! I couldn’t agree more with this Still very much on the wine witch patrol though, shes always changing her manipulative tricks

today in work, the Wine Witch said to me (I could almost bloody hear her!) ‘you feel like absolute shit, you’re eating a stupid amount of sugar, you might as well just relax with a glass of wine tonight. Or better yet, why don’t you ring [friend] and ask her to go on the piss this Friday?’

the only thing that has stopped me from doing the above is this thread . It really is a lifeline. Thank you all.

Good luck to you all. Day 44 for me (& still hanging on & hope you are all too). ⭐

Well done @Nouveaunew on not listening to the bitch witch! So proud. I also had this fleeting thought of I have an event next month and I thought oh may as well for that night as everyone else will be drinking and why should I drive etc etc literally thinking about it few mins ago. I mean I'll cross that bridge but I have been so distracted recently I'm not thinking about it and suddenly there poof wine witch upon ones shoulder whispering sweet nothings...as I said what a bitch!
Thanks @Fortheloveofgodwhy I also felt that stop gaps when giving up smoking, I just ate a whole.pack of rich teas. Oh well.

Ha ha @Namechanged12344 she sure is a witch . I had a heap of junk today too. Can’t even write it down tbh.

Feeling so low it’s crazy. I think some of it is hormonal but some is this whole alcohol - sugar rollercoaster. I’d love to see what a summer without booze would be like, y’know? I haven’t had a booze-free summer since my teens!

night all

Morning all.
RA easing. Not sure why. Have been on the faux gin as hot and thirsty. 'ladies' lunch Friday which will be boozy and bitchy. I am taking the Gordon's AF. In times gone by I use to go home and get pissed after these events. Must get a new book to read so I don't get a delayed reaction.

Hey @Nouveaunew yeah I'm the same in terms of booze free summer well I've had one before but then fucked it up royally but never had a sober birthday. I dont know someone upthread said they don't know if this is forever and I don't want to feel like that either but genuinely I think most of us understand and why we are on this board that well I speak for me mostly is that if I say I stop for a 100 days and think oh that's great news well done you are fine you are cured you can have that solitary one drink when you are out! Etc etc but I know deep down it will go back to square one, day 1 again etc etc I don't want that.

Nice to hear your RA is better @SavBbunny ! Does that mean you don't have to take as many painkillers daily? Where do you guys go for your lunches do you just bring your own booze type thing or someone's house etc? I'd like to host one at my house (once the builders go omg goooooooooo) so would be nice to have a selection of AF in case anyone wants one. The last time I went out I was slightly triggered and felt bored watching my friends get tipsy. But I'm pretty sure it'll get better . Peace and love to you all! It's going to be baking where I am today!

@Namechanged12344
Still need the painkillers and I have a fortnightly injection. Tbh my RA has been much worse this year. The booze blurred the pain.
I too thought I was 'done' at 100 days. Unfortunately my taste of the nectar made me ill. I was physically sick. I certainly can't drink sav blanc anymore. I had left the chat but I came back. I don't really crave wine like i use to but the thought is there. I can understand the 'is this forever question?' We're human so I don't know. I was on another thread where the lady was drinking every night. I thought, shit, that was me when the kids were small. I ended up an ashamed, bloated, alcohol dependant shell of. myself. If I could turn the clock back I would.

This path isn't easy but the benefits are massive. We all want to be @BunniesBunniesBunnies We just need someone to make a decent af wine!!

Hello all, So many strong women on this thread! Well done for resisting temptation and for reaching milestones!

@SavBbunny glad the RA has eased a little and that you’re still smashing sobriety with the help of your AF gin!

I wouldn’t recommend being bunnies at the moment, I’m kind of struggling to balance it all at the moment and find time for self care as well🥵 Still, at least I’m happily not drinking so that’s one less thing to worry about!

contemplating a run before work but it looks sooo hot out there already! I gotta stop making excuses…

@BunniesBunniesBunnies sorry to hear you are finding it difficult to make time for yourself. Hope you can prioritise something today that brings you joy.
take care if you are running in the sun!
checking in