The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Fortheloveofgodwhy]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

T@Champoopapihank you to for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Sorry to hear you are overloaded bunnies.

I was like that in March/April and made a concerted effort yo lighten my load in May and now in June. It's bliss and I kind of understand what people mean about life/work balance and how important it is to have space. The problem is when it's all coming at once and you're in the thick of it, it feels impossible to know what to let go of. I have come to the conclusion that there are just these times where everything seems to come at once and it's riding these times out and enjoying the times when it all feels a little less overwhelming. It feels a bit waxing and waning to me. I am prioritising me time at the moment as much as I can and enjoying a slower pace. And the main thing, not feeling guilty and having to fill every available moment with stuff.

I had free tickets to a spa place the other day (I'm aware how lucky i am) and i took dh for a birthday treat. No massages or anything as they were very expensive add on but a swim and a lie by the pool in a beautiful rural setting. I was amazed at how relaxed I felt just lying on that chair. If i was at home I would have felt I needed to get up and do something. It's soooo important I think to not be doing things all the time.

I do wonder if that's partly why a lot of people drink alcohol. In our society that applauds overly busyness we are looking for ways to switch off. I'm glad I can do that without alcohol now. Because it's a kind of false switching off. I want to find more natural and less harmful ways to relax and press the pause button. It does help that I have a daily meditation and yoga practice. That space to get off the treadmill and put my mental amd physical wellbeing at the centre.

Thank you @AlloftheTime I did drag myself out for a run and it was glorious! Proud of myself. @Breathmiller well done for slowing down the pace of life, I shall be taking a leaf out of your book!

@Namechanged12344
yeah I relate to that. 100 days would be amazing. I’m think of trying for more than 60 to beat my past record and then 100 but if I’m honest, my big thing is an AF summer … all of my summers are spent drinking daily and I’d like to see how a summer would go if I didn’t drink daily.

@SavBbunny Sorry to hear about the RA. Amazing how alcohol blurs physical and emotional pain. In time, it can only be a good thing to be AF. Are you looking forward to the lunch?

I weighed myself this morning. I’ve gained 4 pounds. It’s to be expected with all the sugar I’ve been eating (yesterday was unspeakable) but I have faith that I’ll knock the sugar on its head soon. I’m not drinking. We are not drinking. I never knew alcohol would become so important and that not drinking would become so important.

there must be light at the end of the tunnel. At 44 days (yep, still counting days! 😃), I am still in the tunnel but I know there must be light ahead.

Hello everyone. Sorry for those struggling with sleep, and sorry to hear life isn’t all fluffy bunnies for @BunniesBunniesBunnies

Im currently reading Sunshine Warm Sober by Catherine Gray. It’s about her sober journey from year 5 (!!) onwards. It’s not as consistently good as The Unexpected Joy, but there are some sections that really stop me in my tracks.

I had one of those moments this morning- it’s the question of how we ensure that our own needs are met by others. This is a mind-blowing concept for me, and I suspect I’m not alone?! Does this resonate with anyone else? Extract below;

“I exorcised Cool Girl long ago (nonchalant French chick who doesn’t give a flying putain whether you return her text or not), but I do still sit pretty and wait for my needs to somehow manifest, even though nobody I’m dating is a frickin’ mind reader.

I start realising that I respect those who ask for what they need more than those who don’t. ‘I need 15 to myself,’ someone says when I’m staying at his house. I smile and say,” Cool.’ His motto, incidentally? ‘Be valuable, not available’. ‘

“I need to stay home and rest,’ is a legitimate reason to swerve a get-together for another loved one. She needs to stay home and rest. Open-mouthed at what I would define in myself as ‘cheek’ but define in others as ‘class’, I wonder why I never feel able to say that myself. I need to stay home and rest. I practise it over and over in my head, like an incantation, but I still don’t use it.”

— Sunshine Warm Sober: The unexpected joy of being sober – forever by Catherine Gray
amzn.eu/9dL7kiK

@BunniesBunniesBunnies Well done on going for that run and remaining an alcohol-free inspiration for me & countless others on this thread.

@Breathmiller
Your post was lovely. I admire your daily yoga and meditation practice. I have a practice but I struggle with dailiness! I agree - we maybe don’t really know how to switch off properly. I remember so many times drinking some wine & thinking ‘well I can’t do yoga now that I’ve had wine’ and that was that - day over - wine won night after night and I’d sit around talking shite or just watch telly and put pause on the incessant anxiety in my mind.

Yay for the run @BunniesBunniesBunnies !

@Breathmiller - lovely post, thank you. Yes, I’ve been struck how much time I have to fill now I don’t drink, but that it should be treated as a blessing.

I’m going to a drinks event tonight, where I may or may not know anyone. It’s such a relief not having to worry about how drunk I’ll get.

Well done everyone it's lovely to read all your journeys and support for each other. I haven't been posting much as been quite..dunno how to put it? down I guess!

Had an ultrasound monday which has thrown a huge curveball in my journey, but I will post more about that on the thread I made re tests etc.

117 days alcohol free now.

Hi @BraveFaceScaredInside - I saw your other post. Sounds like a positive curve- ball though?

Hi all. Week 7/day 49 today.

Finding things a bit rough. It has helped removing vodka from my favourites for online grocery shopping. I'm getting tempted as the 2 month mark gets closer. 2 months is the longest I've gone af. I suppose this time around I will be more vigilant and aware of the wine witch whispering in my ear. Scares me though how quickly I can convince myself I'll be ok to drink for "just one night," even if it is just a passing thought.

Feeling a bit anxious and tense. Forced myself to go out. I'm still feeling really tired. Nice and warm, not hot. Cycle path nearby I can go on on my mobility scooter. It's good to get out among the trees. Feeling a bit better now and making plans for the rest of the day to keep me distracted.

I used to meditate once or twice a day but the alcohol fog put a stop to that. I'm feeling the need to start again. It really does help, though quite often my 30 mins meditation would turn into 2 hour naps.

I read all your posts but my brain gets a bit muddled and replying gets too difficult some days.

Hope your Wednesdays go well xx

well done for getting out @JesusSufferingFuck22 and @SavBbunny im glad the RA is abating a bit. for a while I hope!

@BraveFaceScaredInside i hope it isnt a bad curve ball, feel free to share here too if you want to. Such a lovely thread of non judgementalnetters.

all of you who yoga and meditate i salute. Wow i just don't have the self discipline. I do want to get back to boxing though. punching the shot out of things makes me feel so so so much better.

@Onewildandpreciouslife i too totally admire those who are honest but struggle myself. when i moved area a few years back i was sorting a 'mums nights' at school, asked a mum and neighbour and she just replied 'thanks but I don't go out'. that was it, no excuse, no I'll see, just no i don't go out. REVELATION...

and actually isn't it nice not to be thinking about what time i can realistically open some white wine on this hot summer day. Instead I'm actually thinking, I'm relaxing now, right now with a cup of tea (and chocolate...) I don't have to wait for the magic time when i pour the wine to let myself go 'ah'. I can do it anytime another revelation!

I nipped in on your other thread too @BraveFaceScaredInside and agree it is positive news. I can see it's given you a bit of a wobble though?

It's not the same but due to my condition (psoriatic arthritis) and the medication I take for it, I need regular LFT's. Having "normal" results always gave me a false sense of security and as long I moderated my alcohol I thought i'd be fine.

Moderation never lasted long, LFT tests thankfully always remained normal but I knew I was riding my luck.

I can't chance it anymore.

Not saying that moderation / infrequent drinking cannot work for some people. It just wouldn't for me.

@JesusSufferingFuck22 someone posted a while back about PAWS (post addiction withdrawal symptoms). I was staggered by how low my energy could be and how crap I could feel despite being weeks and weeks and weeks away from having had any alcohol.

2 hour naps sound fabulous (I'd prefer that to the meditation but then I am not at my most mindful these days 😁)

Yeah it is :) @Onewildandpreciouslife

@Fortheloveofgodwhy Heya, it's only on this front page, a very good ultrasound result, just feel a bit thrown by it lol.

@Crunchymum Yep it is very positive :) I guess it's thrown me that the results are so different than what I thought, it was easier to know I couldn't drink (well I could of but could of landed in a very early grave) whereas now it opens a door in my head of 'what if's'.

Back home now from the shops and having a lidl sparkling rose grape juice in a tall glass with ice and a cherry hahah, bliss.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy it's one of those activities that tires me out but energises me at the same time. I had a (short) list of things I wanted to get done today. It's a bit of a gamble going out and using my energy. It can go either way. Fortunately it paid off today.

@Crunchymum when I say meditation, it's listening to some hippy type thing with gongs and singing bowls, lying down in my bed
I used to be very mindful but during lockdown I lost the ability to find my happy space. Weird really.

Day 11 here. Slept better but still feel tired.

@JesusSufferingFuck22 - I'm with you on removing alcohol from online shopping favourites - when I get to page 11-12 of favourites its like a musem of all the wine I've ever drunk since Covid started.

May check out your hippy gongs soundtrack for sleeping. Although I fear it's not going to work v well - I tried a rain noises one once and it just made me feel miserable at the thought of it raining.

Am so impressed with those of you on here having to deal with long term health conditions and disabilities. It must be a daily battle.

Onward @LydiaLurk - see you on day 12

Well done us on day 11 @EileenFH.

Evening all
how are you @ChampooPapi ? Hope the weather is not too warm for you and you are not too busy with the course.

Thursday is often a tricky day for me but tomorrow I m going out for a meal with work friends. Haven't done that for ages and will have to drive so will be able to resist temptation.

Weird isn't it how we have boundaries in our brain where we are totally in control.

Whereas if I was at home and DH cracked open a bottle of wine I would really find it hard to resist

Hello everyone.

day 46 is just beginning for me and I’ve spent most a lot of the evening on Mumsnet. So, I’ve decided to deactivate my account.

This thread has been wonderful in helping me to get to Day 46 and I am so inspired by you all but it feels like MN is now joining the list of addictions I have!

Wishing you all serious luck and strength. 💜

Hello everyone. Could I join too please? I desperately need to keep myself accountable. I have tried to stop many many times but will often not even make it through one day. I will get to evening and decide I’m fine to have a glass of wine then invariably drink the whole bottle. This happened last night when children asleep and husband late home from work - then I can’t remember much about him being home and went to sleep in my clothes. So pointless and feeling hungover and ashamed of myself today.

Morning all.
Just checking in.

@Nouveaunew you have done an amazing job and I wish you well - come back to f you ever want / need to. Take care
@Marchpane123 welcome jump aboard - drink plenty of water, have a read through the thread and just take one day at a time.

checking in

Hi @Marchpane123 - welcome. I’ve been there. Be gentle with yourself today, and drink lots of water. Just focus on getting through today without alcohol.

Can you make a plan for this evening? What would be something for you to look forward to that isn’t wine? A long bath? A new book?

@Nouveaunew my twin! Well done for as far as you have got and trust me I feel your addiction to MN too. We do have more time in our hands not drinking now but as you say take a break and if you need us we are here! I'm day 45 can't really believe it half way to 90. I know I'll get there just it's hard. I was up until early hours because DH didn't come home when he said and I was worried sick as he wasn't safely coming home and didn't bother telling me so I'm very upset/tired which is always triggering plus it's hot today. But I shall not drink today.
I still need to catch up with the thread. X
@SavBbunny hi. Hope you are ok.
Welcome @Marchpane123 !

@Nouveaunew
I have come off MN before because of the aggression. I have found this thread so helpful no judgement.
I read 15 pages of a class thread this morning as I am fascinated by what people think are upmarket goods/ possessions/uses for their money.
We are here if you need us.

Welcome @Marchpane123