The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Checking in 👍
So good to hear all your stories and the updates every milestone big or small is to be celebrated.
@ChampooPapi great to hear you so positive and with plans in place for meetings. You sound very self aware and determined- wishing you the very best. Hope your placement has been okay, you must have amazing stamina 👍

Just came back from my first evening out AF, started with a AF beer and the friends were drinking wine and then they got another and were drinking ok , couldn't see any major changes in their behaviour (unlike what I used to be like) then they were pouring and saying oh have just 1 go on. And I said NO! I first explained I wanted to lose weight but then I mentioned anxiety in the middle of the night etc (I've not known these friends long but they're lovely but don't get what I'm going through ) but they mentioned how often they used to drink and it was bad etc and about the hangover @Nouveaunew you don't have to be out rings a bell! So yeah they moderate they can drink I can't . So I had af beer and then ginger ale. Now I can't sleep lol but I didn't drink!!!! Whoop to me day 17

Hello you lovely people. Hope you're all doing ok. I have had a major blip - my husband drank a litre of rum, assaulted me and was arrested so I ended up going on a binge. Exacerbated by him coming back from the cells and spending two solid days basically shrieking in my face and accusing me of lying. I've missed ten days of work which is an issue as I'm self employed and the breadwinner. Work have been so so understanding. I have been drinking today but that's it, I need to stop. I'm covered in broken blood vessels, got ascites and jaundice and my consultant thinks I probably have a few years at most, but (understandably) won't put me forward for a cirrhosis scan (let alone a transplant) until I stop.

So there's my cheery little update! Hopefully this will at least help anyone who needs to stop to just... try and do it. I'll be back for support if that's ok x

I know I'm being depressing 😆but I am only 37 and only started drinking relatively heavily (while holding down a professional job) 3 years ago when I met my husband. I never thought this would happen to me...

HI folks
HOpe you dont mind me joining

I try so hard, I really do.

I go for days and (due to a v stressful job, and toxic relationship) i find myself nailing gin in the evenings. I've became so good at it I can work through a hangover.

I want to stop. I do. I don't even think I'm addicted. I just dont think I know how to cope without. or what to do with myself.

aw pal <3
Im always available for a message.

Thanks for sharing your story @SAB10
I'm so sorry you have all this going on. I don't have the right words but sending you hugs xx

@SAB10 so sorry to hear your update, but it’s good you’ve come back here. Are you getting support for your issues in real life? Can you access support via work even though you’re self-employed? I have a feeling we may be in the same profession (I’m a solicitor) and we won’t be the first or last to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. One day at a time x

@Namechanged12344 well done for sticking with the AF drinks. Remind yourself this morning of how different you feel even if you took a while to fall asleep.

@SAB10 that sounds awful. Drinking aside you know this isn’t a healthy place to be. Is there a way you can remove yourself from the relationship? Have you thought about face to face meetings for the alcohol dependency. Your GP should be able to direct you? Either and anyway you are always welcome here. I hope you find the strength to step away from the booze x

@stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou the first week is the hardest part IME. there is loads of great advice on these threads of you read back. And support so when you decide to do it, and it will be the very best thing you do. You can always post here when youre feeling vulnerable and we hold you up, when you succeed we cheer you and if you fail well, you get back on the obstacle course and we help you through to that illusive meadow of full of bunnies. 😁

Thanks so much @Fortheloveofgodwhy it was hard but I got through it.

Sorry @SAB10 what you are going through, I don't blame you for what you are doing but at least you are acknowledging what's going on and trying to stop. Someone is always here so always message on here!

As @Fortheloveofgodwhy said I found the 1st week hardest which wasn't long ago and here I am couple.of weeks later, the support on this thread and others is amazing. The last time I quit I went to counselling to which helped if affordable. There were clearly underlying issues that made me drink and I did explore them. It can change at any moment though so I am definitely taking 1 day at a time. It's hard @stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou

Morning all.
Sorry to read that you're going through so much shit @SAB10 it sounds absolutely awful but bloody good on you to share with us. I'm hoping we can help, keep posting and also reach out for support in rl. You deserve to be happy and treated well.

Welcome @stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou

@SAB10 that sounds horrific I do hope you have support irl. As H was in custody can you ask police about him not being in the house?
I'm sure there will be some local services who could help, please reach out you won’t be judged by them. Also national helplines may be a good first point of contact.

hope you feel a little better today.

Sounds very similar to me. I also got to the point that a hangover (or even morning drinking) didn't affect my ability to work - I've negotiated multi million pound contracts while, quite frankly, being drunk.

I went nearly three months without anything until having a blip this last week and it's honestly amazing how (even though I was always perfectly capable) being clear headed helps me work so much better, and just generally better in life!

So anyway, welcome! I'm back to day 1 today after aforementioned blip so will be back on the thread a lot. It's so lovely and supportive, really x

Thanks everyone for being so lovely. I'm definitely going to extricate myself from the relationship when I feel a bit stronger. For now I'm just back to day 1 and taking it a step at a time.

@onewildandpreciouslife, yep, also a solicitor! It's pretty pressured at the moment (two lawyers down on what should be a four person team) but I managed to resist drinking after finishing work at midnight yesterday, much as I would have loved to haha

Day 14. @Namechanged12344 well done resisting alcohol on evening out, that’s a real test passed. @SAB10 that’s terrible, do plan to leave your husband as soon as you can muster the strength, don’t know what else to say. Can you throw him out? I read your post hours ago but feel so speechless and angry to think a smart professional young woman has this burden of a husband.

Sab10 I'm* *so glad that you came back on here. I saw your other thread before it was deleted (i think it was deleted anyway) and you have been on my mind a lot. I had thought of privately messaging you but I didn't want to intrude.

I am so sorry to hear all that you're going through, both with your partner and your health.

We are here to listen to you and support you as much as we can to help you find strength to let go of your partner so you can focus on you and what you need at this time. You're wellbeing and self care is so important now.

If there is anything I or we can do please just ask.

Sending you hugs.

Sorry, just re read as I thought I had gotten it wrong. Your husband not partner.

jennyact huge congratulations* *on your 2 week milestone. That's fab. 🥳 I still maintain that these first few weeks are the hardest and each day done is a major win. Well done!

Day one AF over here waves

Well done @stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou
You've got this

Hi @stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou well done for day 1.

I had a blip too.

This is my second shot.

Thanks folks.

Just to echo everyone else @SAB10 I hope you are able to do what you need to do to get yourself sorted. Whatever that may be (and despite this being a very clear LTB situation, I know its rarely that easy)

FWIW my long term DP [15 years, 3 children together] are separated. No abuse or anything dramatic but it hadn't been a supportive or healthy relationship for a while so we finally did the sensible thing and we've been living apart for a good 6 months now. It's been a relief for us both.

In all honesty, I think this is the main reason I've been able to stop drinking. My failing, unfulfilling and sad relationship played a massive part in my drinking.

But you have to figure it out and do it in your own time and in your own way.

@Crunchymum pleased you are relieved and that you made the change you needed. Resonates with me as I stopped drinking after leaving H last year. Divorce underway, waiting to exchange on my own place and completely AF since July.

I wish you well