Hello all
A shiny new thread for those that would like to give up alcohol forever and a shiny new OP. (twirls)
The wonderful Drybird started these thread a loooong time ago and I'm sure many of you will agree that it has made such a massive difference to the lives of those who have read them or posted on them. Drybird would like to take a little break from hosting the threads so asked me if I would start one this time. The suggestion was that we can take it in turns after that which I think is a great idea .
Anyone is welcome to join and post but please be aware that this thread is for those of us who want to give up alcohol completely. It doesn't matter if you are on day 1, week 6 or year 5 (and it doesn't matter how many day 1s you have), there just has to be an intention to let go of alcohol altogether. So please no talk of moderating or drinking at the present moment or in the future, it can be triggering for some of us. There are many other wonderful threads for those who would prefer to moderate and we wish you well. If you decide that total abstinence is for you then come back.
It doesn't matter what your reason is, if you feel like it's an issue then you are welcome. It really is a friendly bunch. I also want to say hello to all the lurkers who don't want to post for one reason or another and say I hope that these threads give you support too.
There are many threads before this so if you are new, do look back, there is always at least a link to the last one at the beginning of each. Every thread is rich with advice and support. I personally have felt held in so many ways by each and everyone who has posted and I don't feel I would be here at 1yr2 months sober without it. Post daily, hourly even if it helps or just dip in now and again when you feel the need. It's not always the easist thing to do but it is worth it and it is easier with a group as supportive as this. We are each other's cheerleaders and underatns where we are coming from when the times are tough.
Here is the link to the last one....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4324737-Freedom-An-alcohol-free-thread-for-alcohol-free-people
These threads have been a lifesaver for so many of us with ideas from AF alternatives, Quit Lit suggestions to why our brains are wired the way they are and what tools we can learn to help us break free from the fog of alcohol. But most of all it's a lovely safe space where we can talk, vent, moan, ask questions, give advice and support each other. As we get to know each other there is also a lot of daily chat about what's going on in our lives - running, books, gardening, yoga and family. It really is a warm, welcoming and friendly space so do join in.
The suggestion to get this thread going is for everyone to have a think of what they gain from not drinking, what are the positives? Or if you are on day 1 then what is the thing you are most looking forward to? Let's let go of the idea that we are denying ourselves something or that we are living less than and list what we are gaining instead.
My main positive (in amongst all the fresh skin, clear head, lack of hangovers, lack of shame better health - physically and mentally, I could go on and on........) is the fact that I don't have the eternal converation in my head going round of whether to have a drink that day or not. I am (mostly) free from that and it is amazing!
So whether you are a regular or a newbie, do say hello and introduce yourself.
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Alcohol support
The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life
Breathmiller · 02/10/2021 18:47
There’s no way I’d be able to do a Saturday night in a busy bar without drinking, either. Not yet. I’ve been quite brutal about avoiding circumstances I know will be dangerous for me over the next few months, and have no intention of going to the pub/out in the evening any time soon. I told a friend that I’m doing this, and she said that she’d been hoping to come and stay over soon, adding that she’d be happy to not drink; I said sorry but no, because it’s not about whether she drinks or not, but about whether I do… it’s the trigger of having to be sociable and conversationally ‘on’ during my witching hours, and the disruption to my normal routine (I’m autistic, so I find it challenging to deviate from my routine!) of early dinner, couple of episodes of the series we’re watching, and in bed with the iPad by 9 at the latest. Having someone over would switch the points on the track, so to speak, and my train would would want to trundle down the ‘socialising’ track; drinking wine, eating then more —increasingly drunken— chatting until late. Instead, my friend came up for the day, and we went out for a lovely lunch. We had a great time, and I was home before I turned into a grumpy pumpkin. 
I commented while we were out that I had not the slightest urge to drink, because it’s not what I would normally do - drink during the day - so it’s not an established track in my mind, if that makes sense… yet if we’d been there four hours later, I’d have felt totally differently and been struggling to not drink wine. Isn’t it ridiculous!
I did go to a work do last week in the evening, which I’d been kind of dreading, but wouldn’t have wanted to drink at anyway, as I don’t think my work colleagues are ready for the unfettered, unfiltered me! It really brought home to me how much more stressful the evening would have been if I’d been drinking, and I was so glad I didn’t. It gives me hope that I’ll be able to enjoy sober evenings with friends and family at some point, too. I’ll c&paste my post from the AG 30 Day thread about that evening…
I did it - I drank water all evening! It was actually a lovely evening, and I ended up sitting with two non-drinkers and a very moderate drinker, so I would have been a lot more out-of-place if I’d been sitting there chugging back the wine, thinking about when was the waiter going to fill my glass again, was I drinking too fast, was I slurring, did I embarrass myself, were my cheeks all flushed and my eyes glassy, was I too loud, was I clumsy (and probably spill food down my ample bosom!), worrying about working how much I owed for the drinks, etc etc.
Instead I was able to have pleasant conversations, didn’t think or worry about any of the above, and enjoyed the company of my colleagues. And my make up looked as good at the end of the evening as it did at the start, despite a prolonged hot flush on arrival!
What a revelation! 
Morning all. Glad you’re feeling lighter @Breathmiller and @BunniesBunniesBunnies. I’m working on it….
Sorry you’ve got a poorly household @bella1426.
@indiesearcher I found quit lit really helpful at first and read (well listened) to a few - The Sober Diaries was one. I also listened to You Left Early by Louisa Young that was heartbreaking. I have moved on a bit in my listening/reading but I’m still focusing on self development- I’m currently listening to Fierce Self Compassion which makes me a bit angry…which is interesting to explore
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