Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention; if you think your problem could be acute, do so immediately. Even qualified doctors can't diagnose over the internet, so do bear that in mind when seeking or giving advice.
The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life
Breathmiller · 02/10/2021 18:47
A shiny new thread for those that would like to give up alcohol forever and a shiny new OP. (twirls)
The wonderful Drybird started these thread a loooong time ago and I'm sure many of you will agree that it has made such a massive difference to the lives of those who have read them or posted on them. Drybird would like to take a little break from hosting the threads so asked me if I would start one this time. The suggestion was that we can take it in turns after that which I think is a great idea .
Anyone is welcome to join and post but please be aware that this thread is for those of us who want to give up alcohol completely. It doesn't matter if you are on day 1, week 6 or year 5 (and it doesn't matter how many day 1s you have), there just has to be an intention to let go of alcohol altogether. So please no talk of moderating or drinking at the present moment or in the future, it can be triggering for some of us. There are many other wonderful threads for those who would prefer to moderate and we wish you well. If you decide that total abstinence is for you then come back.
It doesn't matter what your reason is, if you feel like it's an issue then you are welcome. It really is a friendly bunch. I also want to say hello to all the lurkers who don't want to post for one reason or another and say I hope that these threads give you support too.
There are many threads before this so if you are new, do look back, there is always at least a link to the last one at the beginning of each. Every thread is rich with advice and support. I personally have felt held in so many ways by each and everyone who has posted and I don't feel I would be here at 1yr2 months sober without it. Post daily, hourly even if it helps or just dip in now and again when you feel the need. It's not always the easist thing to do but it is worth it and it is easier with a group as supportive as this. We are each other's cheerleaders and underatns where we are coming from when the times are tough.
Here is the link to the last one....
These threads have been a lifesaver for so many of us with ideas from AF alternatives, Quit Lit suggestions to why our brains are wired the way they are and what tools we can learn to help us break free from the fog of alcohol. But most of all it's a lovely safe space where we can talk, vent, moan, ask questions, give advice and support each other. As we get to know each other there is also a lot of daily chat about what's going on in our lives - running, books, gardening, yoga and family. It really is a warm, welcoming and friendly space so do join in.
The suggestion to get this thread going is for everyone to have a think of what they gain from not drinking, what are the positives? Or if you are on day 1 then what is the thing you are most looking forward to? Let's let go of the idea that we are denying ourselves something or that we are living less than and list what we are gaining instead.
My main positive (in amongst all the fresh skin, clear head, lack of hangovers, lack of shame better health - physically and mentally, I could go on and on........) is the fact that I don't have the eternal converation in my head going round of whether to have a drink that day or not. I am (mostly) free from that and it is amazing!
So whether you are a regular or a newbie, do say hello and introduce yourself.
Kindtomyself · 04/10/2021 06:54
Morning. Day 30.
I'm just having a cup of tea and a moment of reflection (ie reading this thread). Thanks @iamyourequal I know you're right about going through changes and need to go easy on ourselves at the moment. I'm trying to be reflective and observe myself. I need to be very careful actually as there is a risk that I will think F**k this I need to party . I might need to start running again...
Hello @HangingOver we haven't 'met' but I have read a lot of the early threads and so remember you from there. Hope you are enjoying Greece
Kindtomyself · 04/10/2021 07:00
@Newmum29 Happy Belated Birthday and great you enjoyed it. Your post sounds really positive, good planning for the 15th, I'm out then too and avoiding telling my friend that I'm not drinking . It's mainly because she's really looking forward to it and I don't want her to think it will be spoiled if I'm not drinking (that's how I used to feel). Any how, have a great day and I hope your baby allows you a bit more of a sleep this morning
Kindtomyself · 04/10/2021 07:22
@newmum29 I don't know your background and how much you were drinking previously but if it was me I wouldn't have enjoyed the bubbles because I'd either drink too much and have to open another bottle leading to a hangover and the associated anxiety or I'd have had one glass and been really distracted and irritable because I wanted another and not able to enjoy myself. Is this familiar?
KernowGirl181 · 04/10/2021 07:52
Hi everyone. I've been a bit absent from the thread for the last few weeks. Unfortunately, I've been drinking at weekends again. A couple of large glasses on a Friday and Saturday...but this weekend it crept into Sunday too. The usual bad sleep happened and I just feel so so fed up with this weekly roundabout, where I'm good all week (do loads of exercise and eat well) but then back to square 1 again by Monday morning. I just thought this morning...what did drinking wine add to my weekend?...and the answer was absolutely nothing, apart from bad sleep and eating loads of cr*p.
Anyway, I'll shake myself off, drop the kids off to school and go for a nice long run to blow away the cobwebs. I'm not going to beat myself up, just move on. I need to keep this thread close by....especially on a Friday at 6pm (wine witching hour in this house!!!). Lesson learnt!
Bounce55 · 04/10/2021 09:19
A suggestion, if it might help is to maybe write stuff down?
The 2nd week of being AF I bought myself a beautiful leather bound journal and a lovely pen (I used to drink Jamesons straight so yup about 40 quid lol) At the end of the day I made myself a coffee/lattè/cup of tea with a posh biscuit and trotted off to a quiet place and wrote how I felt
It's all about self love in the early stages, the 'reward' at the end of the day needs to be something other than booze, whatever works for you though.......
You will get times when you wane, it's natural as drinking is a habit but you'll all get there
Have a lovely day ❤
Kindtomyself · 04/10/2021 09:46
@KernowGirl181 hello! I missed your message before. Glad you're not beating yourself up and it's a good reminder that wine doesn't add anything to our lives. Good on you for your run. I need to get back into it myself. I've got loads and loads of work on but that's no excuse! I keep this thread very close to me at all times as it helps me to remember why I'm on this journey. Keep posting
ChampooPapi · 04/10/2021 10:54
@Drybird2020 couldn't agree more with everything you posted on the previous page. I am doing so well with managing university and the home/kids, I would never have made it this far or be doing half as well with alcohol in my life.
Day 72 here and loving it 🙌
SparklingLime · 04/10/2021 10:59
Edging back into the thread (was here for about 8 months last year)… Great to read all the positivity.
I’m on day 16 again as blood tests for a gynae issue showed liver issues. Just had third lot of blood tests today and a scan due to Friday. I saw a few others talking about liver problems so wanted to join in.
Ulysses · 04/10/2021 12:06
Hello to the old faces, @Drybird2020, HangingOver, Bunnies and Breathmiller and @SparklingLime
These threads come up from time to time and I am still here cheering the old and new from the sidelines.
And I can't quite believe I am still saying this 22 months, in but I am still alcohol free these days and forever it seems. I am well past the point of desiring a drink and life has improved so much for me. I suppose one of the nicest things is not even thinking about wanting one and all the headspace and mental gymnastics that took up.
These threads helped me so much in the early days in keeping me accountable and giving me ideas of alternatives of occupying my time and dealing with other people.
This year I have went on holiday in a group where the booze was a big part of the evening and I've been to parties not knowing anyone and everything was still great.
If I can do it anyone can!
EIsaCragg · 04/10/2021 19:07
Just checking in, it's been a while since I've posted, but I still lurk on these threads. Thanks for the new one @Breathmiller and also thanks to @Drybird2020 for all the previous threads, they've been a great help to us all.
I'm on Day 711, my two year soberversary is later this month. Honestly, stopping drinking has been the best thing I have ever done. After Day 30, things fell into place and I just don't bother with alcohol any more.
It's so freeing, mentally, and I have so much time now. I no longer procrastinate, I enjoy being busy, productive and in control.
One thing I did find is a love of cake, so I never lost weight. But I'm working on that now, finding time to exercise and move more, eat sensibly and finally cut down on sugar. I'm trying to approach healthy eating in the same way as giving up alcohol; concentrating on the positives and what I can enjoy, rather than what I might be missing.
Good luck to everyone whatever stage you're at, life is just so much better without alcohol.
StoppedWineIng · 04/10/2021 21:19
Checking in. Day 3. Feeling good. Baby still not sleeping so keeping me motivated to stay away from the wine, although slowly destroying my mind & body with sleep deprivation 😩
Hoping Perriwinkles is ok?
Meal out this weekend, feel like I managed to crack the social situation issue last month so feeling confident.
iamyourequal · 04/10/2021 22:40
I had a massive post, went to reply to a text message, and now it is gone eerrgggghh!
In a nutshell: welcome newbies; welcome back @SparklingLime, (and best of luck for Friday.)
You have my sympathy @StoppedWineIng. My 1st was a terrible sleeper and it drove me demented for years (sorry that might be unhelpful).
Sooo pleased to read you are still going strong @ElsaCragg.
Have a good week everyone!
GoodwoodRevival · 05/10/2021 00:03
I’ve reached the end of day 4! Thanks for your great idea about a nice journal @Bounce55, I’ll treat myself to one this week.
I’m feeling pretty good thanks @Kindtomyself. Today was okay as I was busy at work, and I occupied my hands, if not my mind, with an orange instead of a wine glass in front of the TV tonight. The weekend was hard, I’m so glad I found this thread.
Kindtomyself · 05/10/2021 06:27
Morning all. One month AF today. I wrote a longish message last night on the train on my way back from work and then lost it. Grrr.
Anyway. Glad you're feeling good @GoodwoodRevival. Sorry babe not sleeping @StoppedWineIng, it's really tough but it WILL pass although I'm sure you find that difficult to believe. When is it that babe isn't sleeping? Night/day?
Lovely to hear inspirational posts from the original crew. Sorry you're not well @sparklinglime.
I've got such a busy week this week it's a bit overwhelming but I WON'T BE DRINKING!
Have a great day all
Namebunny · 05/10/2021 06:58
Can I join( again) please. Dh drinking at the mo and I no matter how hard I want to stop in the mornings and nights, that awful persuasive voice starts up at teatime. And belittling voices the other times. Honestly! Well done everyone have skimmed, will read a bit more later.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.