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The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life
Breathmiller · 02/10/2021 18:47
A shiny new thread for those that would like to give up alcohol forever and a shiny new OP. (twirls)
The wonderful Drybird started these thread a loooong time ago and I'm sure many of you will agree that it has made such a massive difference to the lives of those who have read them or posted on them. Drybird would like to take a little break from hosting the threads so asked me if I would start one this time. The suggestion was that we can take it in turns after that which I think is a great idea .
Anyone is welcome to join and post but please be aware that this thread is for those of us who want to give up alcohol completely. It doesn't matter if you are on day 1, week 6 or year 5 (and it doesn't matter how many day 1s you have), there just has to be an intention to let go of alcohol altogether. So please no talk of moderating or drinking at the present moment or in the future, it can be triggering for some of us. There are many other wonderful threads for those who would prefer to moderate and we wish you well. If you decide that total abstinence is for you then come back.
It doesn't matter what your reason is, if you feel like it's an issue then you are welcome. It really is a friendly bunch. I also want to say hello to all the lurkers who don't want to post for one reason or another and say I hope that these threads give you support too.
There are many threads before this so if you are new, do look back, there is always at least a link to the last one at the beginning of each. Every thread is rich with advice and support. I personally have felt held in so many ways by each and everyone who has posted and I don't feel I would be here at 1yr2 months sober without it. Post daily, hourly even if it helps or just dip in now and again when you feel the need. It's not always the easist thing to do but it is worth it and it is easier with a group as supportive as this. We are each other's cheerleaders and underatns where we are coming from when the times are tough.
Here is the link to the last one....
These threads have been a lifesaver for so many of us with ideas from AF alternatives, Quit Lit suggestions to why our brains are wired the way they are and what tools we can learn to help us break free from the fog of alcohol. But most of all it's a lovely safe space where we can talk, vent, moan, ask questions, give advice and support each other. As we get to know each other there is also a lot of daily chat about what's going on in our lives - running, books, gardening, yoga and family. It really is a warm, welcoming and friendly space so do join in.
The suggestion to get this thread going is for everyone to have a think of what they gain from not drinking, what are the positives? Or if you are on day 1 then what is the thing you are most looking forward to? Let's let go of the idea that we are denying ourselves something or that we are living less than and list what we are gaining instead.
My main positive (in amongst all the fresh skin, clear head, lack of hangovers, lack of shame better health - physically and mentally, I could go on and on........) is the fact that I don't have the eternal converation in my head going round of whether to have a drink that day or not. I am (mostly) free from that and it is amazing!
So whether you are a regular or a newbie, do say hello and introduce yourself.
Kindtomyself · 07/10/2021 06:32
@Breathmiller thanks for the info on the book and definitely keep me posted on how it's going.
I think I'll read Your Body Keeps the Score next. I've nearly finished 'You Left Early' by Louisa Young wow it is heart breaking to read about how alcohol takes a grip of people.
Hello to everyone else. Right I need to get a shower and get out to work. Hope you all have a great day
Adm1010 · 07/10/2021 07:57
@Kindtomyself so your emotional growth and resilience stopped at 16 . That’s a lot to deal with isn’t it? But you can do it . Without alcohol . Who said growth has to be linear? It’s not to late x
If anyone has any tips to get extra fruit and veg in I’m all ears ! I genuinely struggle to understand how people manage 10 portions
Kindtomyself · 07/10/2021 08:09
@Adm1010 yes it is a lot to deal with but I'm on the journey.
Fruit and veg - first thoughts - Brekky - orange juice then cereal such as granola with raisins and add blueberries, raspberries, melon or porridge with apple or other fruit or rye toast and banana. Or omelette with mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach.(I'm pescatarian btw ie no meat but fish).
Will be back later with further suggestions.
GoodwoodRevival · 07/10/2021 08:58
Just checking in to keep myself on the straight and narrow. I’ve made it to day 7, there is alcohol in the house as DH drinks (very sensibly unlike me) and is away this week so nearly cracked last night.
There is no white wine (my particular weakness) in the house but I had a wine glass of a nice non-alcoholic lime and mint fizz which worked surprisingly well.
I’ve not read any ‘quit lit’ - is there a recognised favourite for someone like me- on the slippery slope as has been drinking every day and progressively more over time, well over the weekly healthy limit but still fully functioning?
Namebunny · 07/10/2021 09:00
Stoppedwineing phew! It’s good to hear! Sympathise with baby, exhausting. And sooo hard, you are doing amazing to do this.
Can forgive myself all the cake I’ve been scoffing then!
Actually went on a walkette without feeling ill!
Kindtomyself that sounds really tough. It’s brilliant that you have got where you’ve got.
BunniesBunniesBunnies · 07/10/2021 13:47
Ah @SparklingLime I’m sorry you’re finding it hard to post. You mustn’t feel pressured to post but you are absolutely 100% welcome here, nobody judges you and I remember very much enjoying and relating to your posts when you were here before. It is so nice to have you back.
@Namebunny it’s lovely to have another bunny on the thread too😂😂😂
Nobloodymor · 07/10/2021 14:18
You are so right about restrictions, I have had more sweets and crisps this week but better than the alternative.
I am adding more vegetables to all meals where I can. I struggle with fruit because I am not that interested but will be having frozen berries with porridge.
Best wishes to all.
Breathmiller · 07/10/2021 14:55
Just leaving this for those wanting ideas for adding more veg and fruit. It's gone quiet but there is a lot of support and great suggestions. I don't want to clog this thread up with veg talk
sparklinglime are you able to explain what makes it hard to post? I sometimes think when we name a difficult thing it often melts away. It's so good to see you here and like Bunnies I always appreciated your words. It's okay to ask for specific support here. Even if it doesn't seem absolutely to do with alcohol.
I am in isolation again waiting on a test as dh is now unwell. The one day back to work was fun while it lasted.
SparklingLime · 07/10/2021 19:09
Lots of people recommend Annie Grace’s Alcohol Experiment, @GoodwoodRevival: learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration
HeadlessLegless · 07/10/2021 19:14
Evening All. Well 2 days done, let's hope this is the 3rd. So far so good but like many awful sleep!!!!! I have a headache and I feel weepy but I want to do this so will preserve. Normally, by this time of night, I would be opening my 2nd bottle of wine. I am glad I love Ribena.
Kindtomyself · 07/10/2021 19:31
Evening all I'm sat in a bar with a lime and soda waiting for my friend and I feel brilliant. Who knew?
@GoodwoodRevival I've read Naked Mind, some people find The 30 Day Alcohol Experiment really good too (it's on a website/app) and gives daily talks. I read The Sober Diaries- she's quite posh but funny and I found it good for my first quit lit. I've also read Unexpected Joy of Being Sober that I also found helpful. I'm just coming to the end of You Left Too Early which is a Memoir about an alcoholic but still made me really think about my own behaviour
Adm1010 · 07/10/2021 19:51
@Breathmiller thanks for the link I keep meaning to get on there .
I’ve had a bad day at work . Can’t go into details but it’s been a challenge .
The urge for a drink has nearly lifted me off the ground this evening but I’ve not given in to it . Instead I’ve eaten egg on toast and hula hoops for tea . And now I’m sat in a dark room quietly trying to recover from the battering today’s given me .
Tomorrow’s another day
iamyourequal · 07/10/2021 20:01
@GoodwoodRevival I would recommend reading all quit-lit you can get your hands on! I think it helps to examine why we slide into this situation and shows -from relating to other peoples experience- that we can get out too. For me, people like Allen Carr and Annie Grace have helped recondition my thinking about it too (but I prefer her podcasts to books as I feel she has kind of copied AC without giving proper credit).
@SparklingLime, it would be great to hear how you have been doing. Let’s really get a shot at this, this time around. We left around same time I’m sure and are both back at the same time. It might just be our time! (I’m not allowed to say ‘to shine’anymore as apparently it’s completely lame and embarrassing 😳).
Well done on reaching day 3 @HeadlessLegless. You can do this. Just employ whatever helped yesterday again today and don’t think any further than that.
I’ve baked an apple strudel to help me. I’ve had a rotten virus this week and have barely eaten anything other than toast and jam, but I feel I should try pudding. Good on you @ Kindtomyself, way to go! And you will feel so good going to bed later and getting up tomorrow…
StoppedWineIng · 07/10/2021 20:02
@Adm1010 sorry to hear you’ve had a tough day. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe an early night after dinner will give you a more peaceful mind. Waking up tomorrow clear headed/hangover free will certainly start the day off well.
I’ve given up on early nights. Baby has woken up already and only went to bed an hour ago…
My skin is awful, I’m tired, wouldn’t even know if I was sleeping worse or better because I’m just not sleeping. It’s a good job I love my baby 🤣
iamyourequal · 07/10/2021 20:08
Oh no @ StoppedWineIng. I remember these nights. I used to spend ages getting our first one down and then the minute we sat down to relax and have dinner he would be crying his head off. I barely ever got a dinner that wasn’t all dried up from waiting for me. I hope they settle for you soon.
Adm1010 · 07/10/2021 20:16
@StoppedWineIng oh that’s rough!! How frustratingly. I feel for you
@iamyourequal it’s pretty stressful yes. Today was difficult . My husband is still at work so I’m sat in my own . However an old friend text out of the blue just after I got in . Someone I have a difficult / complicated relationship with . Opened up old feelings . So I’m having a tough night all round and nothing to take this sharp edge away . These actual FEELINGS!!
SparklingLime · 07/10/2021 20:40
Lord, FEELINGS!! Hate the fuckers!
Did we, @iamyourequal? I went back to regular drinking in October last year (having dabbled since August). My dad died in November. He was an alcoholic who in his more mellow years was a three bottles of red per day chap. He never had dodgy LFTs, and in a rather unhealthy way, I think that added to my false sense of security. He died at 80 of complications relating to cancer. He was unsurprisingly very difficult and I had been caring for him. I coped at the time but have been hit by much worse grief in the past few months. We didn’t have a funeral and everyone else seems to have forgotten about him.
Breathmiller · 07/10/2021 20:51
admn sorry you're having a rotten day. Is there something nourishing you can do? Is it time to pull out one of my old favourites and suggest you throw yourself in a nice warm bath? Sometimes on these days I just go to bed. We have had an odd day too, dh ill, waiting on test results, no heating in our house, cancelled all my work today and sorted out closing my premises, which was a logistical nightmare and so we have all just gone to bed. There's something lovely about having your family just all snuggled in the house on a windy dark evening. Especially as I just watched Rosie, a film about a homeless family. Jeez, that was grim viewing. And made me a mixture of grateful and angry.
sparklinglime if you fancy chatting but heavy stuff feels...well..too heavy, would you like to tell us about your day? The mundane, or the fun? Just chat? What did you get up to?
Well done on everyone's days and weeks. It's hard to keep up with everyone as its such a fast paced thread at the moment. But I am reading and welcoming all newbies, sending hugs to all those having crap days (and nights - stoppedwhineing, i feel your pain, my youngest was a nightmare sleeper) and hurrah-ing every day that ever single one of us get to the end of without having a drink.
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