Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

Hi @Soberoct just popping on to say hello! (Will you become soberJan in a few weeks?! Sorry to hear your anxiety levels are high. A Christmas just the four of you sounds lovely, but make sure all the work doesn't fall on your shoulders. Your recent posts suggest you have almost accepted the fact you'll drink too much on Christmas Day and are helpless to prevent it happening. That's fine if its what you want (you certainly won't be the only one!) but it doesn't have to be that way if you don't want it to be?

Perhaps try the playing it forward technique where you walk through the day and identify the stress triggers and any things that would make that part easier? In my house its making sure that present opening doesn't collide with meal serving and doing small things like having a pen and paper to jot down who sent what to whom to avoid muddles. (Historically this was also a great help when tipsy!) Get the kids involved in veg prep or laying the table, plan the tv schedule in advance and any 'must do' family phone calls. The more in control you feel the less anxious you are likely to get.

Another possible idea would be to look back on this thread (were you posting last Christmas?) and find a post you wrote after a night out (or in) went spectacularly wrong and you were deep in the poo pile of hate, shame and self loathing. Print it out and ask yourself if that's really the gift I want to give myself this Christmas? You are an awesome person and you work really hard - do you deserve better? (I think you do!!)

Aw hi @Stircrazyschoolmum very good to hear from you! Have you kept on going since October ? Thank you so much for your time to write all this and these tips are fab thanks. I'm actually already planning on driving to a couple of events coming up as I've gone over board the last few events! Driving is the key for me I think as it will definitely prevent me from over drinking and saying no! I might not even drink at all as I'm getting old and my vision at night especially driving is awful!!! How have you been managing with the kids and stress and everything ?
How is everyone else @Mj20 @Amdone123 @NewMe2023 @Bubblesdublin @NitOnePearlOne @TripleTipplePipple ? Sorry if I've missed anyone X this period is very hard for me I must admit Christmas and birthdays including my own etc..

@Soberoct I am not doing brilliantly meaning I have drunk every night still but I have drunk less. I need my head back in that good position to try and really stop again. I will have a go at Dry January this year. In the meantime I will continue to be aware of what I am drinking and asking myself do I really need another?

I keep reading this thread as it does give me encouragement. Not getting much knitting done but plan to do at least 4 hours a day over the next 3 days. Today I am off work so doing all my washing and housework so I don't feel guilty about sitting and knitting.

Sorry, I seem self centred at the moment, not asking after others. I will crack this though.

@Soberoct Yes.. today is my 10 week soberaniversary and to be fair its made the kids/christmas stress etc far easier (with the exception of the hour I spent on the mulled wine stall at the Xmas fair.. that was tough!) No weight loss to write home about (thanks Mr Cadbury) but my skin is glowing and I'm loving my sleep.

@NitOnePearlOne what are you knitting? I can't knit for toffee.. I love the idea but not the reality of it (I get very tangled and end up with more holes than knitted stuff.) You will crack it.. have faith in yourself... this is a tough time of year for most and if you are drinking less than usual then you are still bucking the trend of most of the population who are drinking significantly more!!

Hi all, haven't posted in a while , haven't done great, I think I've actually drank every night since really except for one . Reading back on your posts gives me a bit of hope to hear that hopefully things can change , it's such a hard time though to quit, I think as I have read in previous posts I'm going to try and be more conscious of how much I'm drinking and asking myself do I really need the next glass . And then maybe really go for Dry Jan ! Hope yer all doing okay .

Hey, I'm back !
Hope you're all ok @Hohofortherobbers @Mj20 @NitOnePearlOne @NiceViewFromHere @NiceViewFromHere @Soberoct , apologies to anyone missed
Well, up until tonight, I have been doing great.
Football, yikes.
But, I've had 6 days sober - I've really been loving my lazy life - I've walked loads, 10k steps, then basically just got back in bed with my dog!!
I do believe I've found a balance x

6 days! Well done @Amdone123 !
Hope everyone else is doing ok in the run up. I'm on day 3..... longest stretch in a while but feel better for it. I know I'll have a drink Fri/Sat night this weekend then probably next Wed too for my birthday. After that we sort of roll into christmas so I'm gearing up for a dry January! I'm also piling on weight at the moment and can't seem to stop myself. I'm so greedy :/ I was hoping cutting down on the booze might help but I seem to have replace Alcohol calories with food calories. 😭

Hello all! I feel you @TripleTipplePipple wit the weight etc and our birthdays are close to each other ! Thing is I have gone nearly a whole year without booze but when it came down to my birthday I felt it was a must ! It's an excuse j guess so I'm also heading towards a sober Jan so maybe a few of us on this board can try this together ? I drove to a party last Saturday and it helped as I had 2 drinks and even though I wanted more I couldn't so if was good! The driving saved me in the ice and snow and at night ! I do feel like I am drinking moreat home again as I'm not working now until Jan...so yes here's to a sober Jan for sure!

@Soberoct totally get u! I'm really gearing up for a good dry Jan. hopefully we could set up a group for that . I think things are so hard this month with it being Xmas, and I seem to b drinking more at home these days ! So I think which is prob the wrong way of looking at things, I'm just going to relax and really go for it for January!

Hi all it's me soberoct but now soberjan! @stoppingnow 100 per cent I understand you! Every year there is a sober Jan thread someone starts of not I'll start one and we can egg each other on I really want to do this. I dry Jan myself in lockdown can you believe ! So obviously we can do it x

Hey all.
Just woken up after a night of drinking & the anxiety is unreal. Was only at a friend's with the husband. But I don't even remember leaving. This is obviously due to the alcohol, but recently I often can't remember stuff when drinking. I think I'm perimenopausal, has this affected anyone else like this? Remembering never used to be a problem.
I don't feel too bad hangover wise, just the memory. 🤦‍♀️And the anxiety of course.
Why do we do this to ourselves?!

Hi @ERN79 I am feeling you. I also was up at 3am with anxiety and thinking someone was at my front door and couldn't remember the film I watched it's awful! Peri Meno doesn't help and I think it gets worse and worse so yes why do we do it? I just can't help myself I have so much AF drinks in the house but can't fathom it right now. I am definitely going to do sober Jan tho that's for sure I am determined. Hope you will feel better soon lots of water food and rest and be kind to yourself we are only human.

@Soberjan it's just rubbish isn't it.
Half of me wants to ask my husband & fill in the blanks. The other half doesn't want to know. 🤦‍♀️ Really don't like the not knowing.
Lazy day at home today.
Don't know why I can go weeks not drinking but then when I do I don't know when to call it a day.

Hi all how's everyone doing ? We have been struck (2 of us) with this horrendous illness going around I've never been this bad, chest hurts, high temp, aches, shivers shakes I didn't sleep all night but decided wine would help? I know have severe anxiety and I'm really worried so I have researched a smart meeting ...has anyone done one of these online? I'm really worried for myself now. Worst timing but I was too worried about other people but now I don't think I can moderate at all feeling obviously very sorry for myself I need a kick up the backside.

Yay I didn't drink today/tonight ...going to bed early I hope seeing as I'm still feeling rubbish.
How are you @Amdone123 ?

Hi, I'm back ( again).
I've done more comebacks than Frank Sinatra.
I've actually been doing rather well - Christmas is not my time, though - it's the rest of the year, I have trouble with.
Hope you're all ok !
Christmas is hard for moderating - I've had a few blips, but overall I'm doing well @Buntyforgirls @Hohofortherobbers @Mj20 @Soberoct .
Sorry if I've forgotten anyone !!

Ahhh, regarding Christmas Day, we had a lovely time with my granddaughter. She came for Xmas breakfast, the Jamaican way - ackee and salt fish, plaintain, dumplings . She loved it - so important for her to experience her grandads way of life .

Hello @Amdone123 and everyone else!!!
im back too 🤣
hope you all had good christmas’!!!
we’ve had a lovely time!
I drank a lot of Prosecco but … all within my limits and no hangxiety etc!!!!!
im planning a sober (ish) new year eve and then I’m going to be seriously moderating! My new year resolution is to shift this stone I’ve put on! So I’ll be moving more, eating less…. And just focusing on my physical and mental health!
will be checking in here lots to help keep me focused!!!!! Tell me how everyone’s Xmas’ were? And new year plans? I’ve missed the group but life just got seriously hectic in dec xxx

@Mj20 , hey, hi .I'm the same, possibly too much - but if you want to stop / abstain, we can do it together.
I think you've done it before?
New years eve next, which I LOVE

I don't know why, my friends hate it. But I love a new start - on many levels.
I drive my family mad, harping on about a new year, but I love it !

@Amdone123 we certainly did do it before! I think I posted the original thread 3 years ago? And you were the first to respond 🤣 and here we are another year in!!!
I LOVE new year too! I love reflecting on the past year, and setting new intentions for the next year xx 💋

Hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas! We've had a really nice one although we've all been poorly at various points. I'm all set for a dry January although I may have started a bit early as we-ve finished all the booze and I'm now feeling dreadful with non alcohol related illness and have been in bed all day so may as well give it a go from now. My wallet can't take any booze runs to tesco now anyway.

Looking forward to getting the decorations down and toys put in some order....hoping to be better by the weekend so I can do it. I'm not good at being ill!

Hi, hope everyone had a lovely Xmas, so I'm hoping to start tomorrow, I've had a good bit of alcohol all over Xmas and new years is a bit away so hoping to start tomorrow , why wait till new years !!! Would love to try ahead of it do fingers crossed her we go. Hope everyone is doing okay xx

@TripleTipplePipple , I'm bad at being ill, too ! Hope you're feeling better soon. I agree with you and @stoppingnow , why wait til January to set your plan in motion. Start today ! I had a great run just before actual Christmas eve / day. I like being different.
@Mj20 , oh god, the weight gain. I did great before Xmas, lost 8lb in 3 weeks by just not drinking and upping the steps. Weighed myself last week - I've put on 7lbs. But......trying to be positive here......at least I'd lost it earlier...and I've still lost a pitiful pound 🤣

Hi all!
sorry your Ill @TripleTipplePipple we had a virus the week before Christmas! It was horrid!!!! @stoppingnow now… good for you!! I haven’t drank since Xmas day!!!! Dunno why just how’s it worked out and tbh I’d be happy to keep going, but at friends tomorrow where I feel I’ll have to have a drink or two…which is silly as I should just say I’m not drinking… but I plan on moderating.
@Amdone123 that was great with your weight loss! I dropped 5 pound at the start of dec but put it all back on…. This stone has crept on really slowly throughout the year but im abso determined to get it off (and a bit more if poss)! Not drinking will help as im terrible for snacking when I drink 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 looks like we are all in it together 🥰 xxxx

I am nearly finished reading 'the unexpected joy of being sober' by Catherine Gray. Would recommend a read!