Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

Morning all, hope everyones doing ok, just checking in. Todays day 2 for me. Hoping to do another AF day even though it's the weekend and DS 3 is poorly so was up a lot last night , so it's going to be a long day. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend ..

Hello everyone, I’m new here and I’m day 5 AF. The longest in years! I don’t drink everyday but binge fri, sat and sun. A bottle a night but more on Sundays because I don’t want the weekend to end and the week to start. Sometimes I drink Mondays too because again, I don’t want the weekend to end! I have this horrid secret that none of my friends or family know about so it’s great to come here and read everyone’s experiences. I don’t feel so alone. Like many I’m not a confident person, anxious about a lot of things and have found alcohol helps relax my madly over thinking mind. Anyway this Friday and Saturday is pretty much the first weekend I haven’t drank. I’ve actually managed to watch a film all the way through with my husband and kids and not fall asleep as usual, and I’m still awake at 11:06pm! BUT, the biggest challenge for me is tomorrow when the outlaws come to visit. My MIL is sooo negative, down and overbearing- a real mood hoover! She is a big trigger for me and I really really knock back the wine after they leave. I am determined not to fail tomorrow night as I am particularly loving the clear headed mornings and having much less anxiety all day. Think I’ll just have to go to bed with a book the moment they leave!

Hello alll!
just popping on to catch up on how everyone’s doing….
so interesting reading…. Some of us are moderating, some A/F but we are all doing our best and also searching for the whys!!! I think it’s great!!!!
so how’s everyone doing after Friday and Saturday night…. @NitOnePearlOne @Whitecistus @TripleTipplePipple and how was the weekend away @Soberoct

I’d planned a complete AF weekend end… so Diddnt drink Friday (after 6 days off) but decided to open a bottle of fizz last night…. As I was feeling really festive and just fancied it! 3 glasses of Prosecco later…. I put the bottle away and had a tea! So proud of myself for sensible drinking. Awake bright and early this morning, no hangover, and ready to crack on!!!! Do hope the hubby will finish said prosecco tonight though as I never like to drink on a Sunday but also hate to waste!!!!

@Amdone123 wrote in an earlier post all the awful symptoms she gets after a big night… and omg it’s literally like hearing myself speak! It’s the dread of the the hangxiety that I think keeps me on the straight and narrow more (for now)!

good luck today @NiceViewFromHere i can sympathise…. I have some very intense extended family that make me reach for the wine when they leave! But you’re doing so great… and it’s brilliant you recognise that as a trigger! So maybe get a distress plan in place for when they leave…. Like a hot bath or a chat with a friend or your fave tv programme! Let us know how you get on!!!

have a great day guys xxx

Hi all
@Mj20 I had some last night and Friday, but half the amount I usually would. I just didn’t buy it.
Aiming to have another Sun-Thurs AF. I’d be quite happy if I could stick with this but we’ll see. I do rather like a couple whilst cooking a roast!
Hope you all have a great day and good luck with AF or moderating whichever you’re aiming for xx

Morning @NiceViewFromHere , 👋 and welcome. Well done on Day 5. @Mj20 has some great ideas for when thee outlaws leave. I had to laugh at both your descriptions of hitting the bottle when they leave ! When I can't face the idea of entertaining, I drink when they're here ! @stoppingnow , hope your little un is better and well done for trying on an af weekend.

Have to go as breakfast is ready at my hotel, so will check back in after.

I'm back. I didn't drink yesterday but I did Friday evening watching the football. Which wasn't my plan at all ( don't even like football). I had 1.5 bottles of prosecco. Overall, I'm doing OK. I've had about 12 af days out of 14 so good for me. I'm out Saturday with my family so up til then I'll be af.
Keep trying everyone ! You're all doing really well ❤️

Hi all, just checking in I've been really unwell but still stupidly went out sat night (as it was all planned babysitters etc ) anyway I obviously got worse. We had already drunk half a bottle before we left, then I had a prosecco with dinner but I was so tipsy I said to dh make sure I just drink water from now right (before we even got to the venue for the big birthday) he said ok but proceeded to buy gins all night and by ttthat point I didn't even look on the menu if there was anything alcohol free or nothing just kept going suffice to say I was laid up in bed yesterday when I wasn't collecting the kids from their activities at 8am!!!! We got in in the early hours of the morning. Anyway lesson learnt (is it really?) Still feeling wretched. It's like looking back at a dismal attempt to control and failing miserably. Like a car crash. The hangxeity was real. Hope you are all ok @Mj20 @Amdone123 well done for 12 out of 14 days amazing really. @stoppingnow well done for 3 days!!!! @NitOnePearlOne and @Whitecistus how are you guys? @NiceViewFromHere everything you said resonates how did it go with the outlaws? I have very very difficult ones too so I get the feeling completely!!!! Dreading Christmas actually ...(mil hasn't actually invited us round I think they expecting us to host for once but I'm not going to they can get to fuck)

I wrote a post last night and didn't press send 😂 I'm still stupid tired all the time and was asleep in bed by 8pm. We drank over the weekend but there's no booze in the house now although I've got Baileys coming in the shopping as it was £13 and it's for Christmas coffee so won't be touching it. I'm going to try and get through to Friday with no booze......

We all do it @Soberoct I know that horrible hangxiety feeling though. Hopefully its easing off a bit today and sounds like you had a fun time! Chugg the water and be kind to yourself as they say.

Hope everyone has a good week. I'm really struggling with my anxiety at the moment so am going to avoid FB/Insta and trying to keep myself to myself. My eldest is poorly again so will be home with me today while I work. I need a bit of headspace to plan my next few weeks and I've got next Friday off work to myself hopefully so should be able to do it then! Hopefully not drinking in the week will mean I'm a bit more refreshed by friday.....

Morning all. Yep, @Soberoct , as @TripleTipplePipple , that learning curve puzzles me too. The number of times I've said never again. Like so many. @Soberoct , sorry you're still feeling awful.
In some ways, I learn, though. Yesterday for example I left all the alcohol we bought ( bloody offers ) at my sister's ( she's 3 hours away). Had I brought it home, I probably would have drank it yesterday. Thought I'd save it til next time.
I'm supposed to be walking / weighing today but I've no energy. I'm going to spend the next 5 days af and back to eating properly.
Have a good day everyone. I'm determined to get my af day count increased.

I feel the energy slump @Amdone123 but I'm proud of myself I used the time I had today wisely and productively and got loads done and threw in exercise too and I haven't drunk anything today/tonight whooppp that's a big achievement for me. It probably doesn't help my throat is sore still and I'm unwell still but yes am pleased with myself. Also the alcohol and eating badly go hand in hand so I'm trying to be mindful. Each time I stop drinking for long periods of time I always lose weight it's amazing. I even cancelled attending my work party this week because I didn't want to drink. Hope you are all having a good night so far x

@Soberoct , that sounds great, well done. Especially as you're still under the weather. And an af day, too. Brilliant.
I've done nothing today. Well, a little housework, walked the dog, made tea - the basics!
I'll hopefully have some energy tomorrow. I'm working tomorrow so I probably will !

Morning, all @Mj20 @Soberoct @TripleTipplePipple @onemoreforme @stoppingnow and how are you getting on @NitOnePearlOne , I've been thinking about you. Apologies if I've missed anyone.
Hope you're all doing OK and not too busy/ stressed preparing for Christmas and paying energy bills ! Roll on summer.
I've been ok this week. I'm nearly half way through my 40 day mission. I've had 16 af days out of 19, so not too bad. I drank Tuesday - 1.5 bottles and smoked about 4.
I'm out tomorrow with my family so that won't be af, but that's OK.
It's a difficult time of the year to be af, but I'd rather give it a shot. I'm doing, as I'm sure we all are, my best.

Hello everyone. Thank you for your shout outs. I have been disappointed in myself. Got to 3 days, forgot to put my nicotine patch on before work and by time I was driving home, I gave in. I bought Gin and cigarettes. Well there was no stopping me then for about a week. Anyway I have plodded through and for the past two nights have managed to reduce my drinking to two large G&T's. I have a visitor today for four days and they both drink and smoke but their drinking is restricted to just two large ones a night so I am hoping to match them.

I fully intend from Tuesday onwards to try and not drink between now and Christmas. I really need to do this.

I have had a project at work that has given me sleepless nights but that was signed off yesterday and boy, I feel a whole weight has been lifted. Next week I just have to prepare the papers so by next weekend I will be singing away!!! First Christmas in years that this project has been out the way before Christmas.

I will keep up posting, even if it is to say I have not stuck to what I thought I would do because I know I have been trying for years but this time I really think I will get into much better habits. Fully intend trying Dry January for once!!

I love reading how you are all getting on because it gives me hope and encouragement NOT to stop trying to cut down/moderate/give up.

@NitOnePearlOne , firstly, well done for the 3 af days. Don't be disappointed in yourself ; you're trying, you've got plans ( Tuesday til Xmas and Dry January) and it's not easy. Secondly, well done for your work success, it all sounds very stressful but at least, thee end is in sight.
Sounds like a good plan, too, with the visitors. 2 glasses sounds great. No hangover with just 2, either.
I'm glad you're encouraged by posting here. My drinking habits have improved enormously since starting here.

Hi @Amdone123 and everyone big virtual wave and hug to you all. I've not done too well unfortunately as I've had work parties galore which has involved a lot of drinking. I don't know how I'm functioning tbh...working the next day etc. Had fun but I kept saying no I don't want another drink to someone asking do you want a drink ok then! Lol it's like there's no switch. But I don't know what I'm planning to do next few days. I don't want to drink but it's the weekend. I bumped into someone who said they stopped drinking past 6 months she is much younger than me and said she's doing well she just said to herself once she hit a certain age she was going to give up booze and fags and she has. She says going out is a bit boring as other people irritate her now and she just leaves early...I did try to leave early last night and ended up smoking. There was a girl there at the party who puked her guts out and I was glad that wasn't me!!! I'm definitely doing my 3rd dry Jan even though I have my own birthday party lol

@Soberoct , oh, god, you do make me laugh !
Well, I went for a longggg walk with my lovely sis. No intention to drink whatsoever. Never crossed my mind - I knew I was out next day - I needed a small shop, bought wine, rest is history
Never mind x

Morning all, well @Soberoct I'm not doing great either, I'd say maybe only one AF night during the week! Todays my day one! Even though this is such a tough time to quit round Xmas. I have a night out next weekend,so if I got till then I'd be happy for now! Wow that's great for your friend, 6 months! Ya I'd love to give up fags too but don't know if I'm trying too much then all at once! Hope everyone has a lovely day!

Hi all. Good catching up how we are all doing @Amdone123 @Soberoct @NitOnePearlOne

so…. All week I was A-F… until the weekend!!!! Friday I went to a party and drank, but I’m pleased to say… although I was hungover I Diddnt have the dreaded hangxiety! As I was quite restrained compared to how I can be!
then Sunday I drank a bottle of red throughout the afternoon/evening!
im ok with how I’ve been… it’s not been brilliant, but it could be better!!!!

I think it’s tough for all of us at this time of year… lots of arrangements, plus lots of stress!!!!

so I’m up at silly o’clock as I’ve had period pain! Luckily I’ve got a slower working from home day so can take it steady!

Hope your all ok and being kind to yourselves no matter how your doing xxx

Morning all, @stoppingnow I get the feeling of so many things for Xmas. I didn't realise just how much there was on and 'drinking' I actually was reading the sassy sober mum on Instagram and she had a little thing about Christmas and how usually she would be half sloshed around lunch time etc. This year I think we are having it just us 4 which will make my anxiety with in laws decrease therefore I'm hoping I won't get too sloshed myself! I drank all weekend too @Mj20 but overly since Thursday I was out so well done for AF all week that must have felt so good! I'm determined to do it this week but next week might be tough with birthdays and get togethers and then after Christmas there's just so much on its overwhelming so I'm definitely going to aim for dry Jan.....I've done it before so I can do it again. Hope everyone else is ok?

Morning all, I'm still here! Last week was manic and only had Mon/Tues AF. I didnt drink last night as feeling quite sick, I think it's the sertraline kicking in. It'll fade soon. I didnt drink a massive amount over the weekend. Less than I usually would so I consider that a win. I notice my 'hung over' feeling a lot at the moment so even though I feel a bit sick this morning, I still dont feel as grim as if I'd have had wine.

This is such a difficult time to stop drinking, I'm hearing me and DH up for a dry Januaury. I've only ever managed it once so will give it my best shot!

To anyone who thinks this is a difficult time of year to change your drinking, I want to offer an alternative perspective: this is the BEST time to make the change. To clarify - I'm not talking about going sober from one day to the next and trying to be perfect and using willpower to get through the day. I'm talking about using conscious choice and planning to make the change. Why the best time? Because there is temptation everywhere! Which means lots of OPPORTUNITY (block caps on purpose 😀) to practice. You do this by getting really, really curious and by asking yourself helpful questions. If you're at a party and feeling a longing to drink your head off, ask: why? Ask: how is wine/champagne going to make this experience better? Ask: do I even want to be at this party? How do I want to feel in the morning? And really listen to yourself. We drink because because of emotion - either one we're feeling that we don't like or one we don't have that we want. Because every action we do stems from a feeling. Find the feeling that is driving your desire to drink in the moment and either changing that emotion or being OK with just sitting with it ("I'm at my MIL's and I don't want to be here and I'm bored but that's OK. I don't have to feel entertained/happy/joyous all the time.)

Hello all. Well I must be managing one of the biggest hangovers for a long while. I feel awful. It is now my intention not to drink for the rest of this week.

And I can't wait to get to bed tonight.

That's actually a really interesting way of looking at it @brightspice more often than not I'm not bothered about having a drink unless I'm in a situation I dont really want to be in. I don't class drinking at home like that btw 😂 that's just drinking out of habit. I'm going to try and be a lot more conscious. We finished off some wine last night. I felt yuk again this morning so having an early night tonight and will make sure I drink a bit more water this afternoon as well.

Hope you feel better soon @NitOnePearlOne ! Were you out or drinking at home?

Trying to be good this week before the christmas begins.

Hi everyone, I've name changed and I've not posted on this thread before.

I've been following and was thinking right I have to cut down next year and thinking of doing Dry January.

I've just read this post by Brightspice and I'm going to print it off to read over Christmas. I will drink but I want to moderate so I don't feel rubbish the day after I do drink.