Beyond Dry January - moderators and 100 dayers DJ#3

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

New thread to take us beyond February. Pull up a chair, make yourselves comfortable...let's do this!

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

Soooo nearly fell off the wagon yesterday. DH is very, very close to a breakdown and came very close to leaving me.

We're here and hanging by a thread but I keep reminding myself alcohol won't help.

[Imissmoominmama]

Alcohol just makes anxiety worse in the long run. Hope you’re all ok.

[PeacheyPeach]

@myghastisflabbered so sorry to hear about your DH . I hope that he is able to get some help 😍 and you know that if you start drinking when everything is this emotional and intense it isnt going to help at all

[TSBelliot]

Ghast that sounds tough - mine dh isn’t in great shape mentally and has had a breakdown before. Hope you have enough real life support.

Teelizzy - hope your Dd is getting support. My dd was under CAHMS for about 18months. Lots has improved recently but the vigilance doesn’t go.

Shows how much strength is here with so many of you having a tough time and facing change head on. Inspirational women.

[TSBelliot]

Sorry cocolady - you obviously have lots on too. Stick with us and whether moderation or af it definitely helps. My mindset has really changed and it’s from being here.

[Haggisfish]

Oh gosh what a lot everyone has to deal with. Life is shite at times. I had a large glass tonight. But stopped at one which is good. I use //www.meditainment.com and love it, to help get to sleep. Well done everyone who has stayed dry.

[teelizzy]

@TSBelliot thanks for the support. Hope your DD is in a better place.

@CocoLady yep a daily waffle works well for me.

[catwithflowers]

@CocoLady Have you looked at the 30 Day Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace? It's a free online programme which is very interesting, gives you lots of food for thought.

[PeacheyPeach]

@myghastisflabbered just re read my comment and i hope you dnt think im trying to tell you what to do xx im just going from my own experiences when ive gone through stressful times . Ive aways thought a drnk was the answer but it realy wasnt. Infact i would just get more emotional about the situation and then wake up feeling even worse in the morning xxx
Hope everyone is ok xxx

[Imissmoominmama]

Feeling much better this morning. I was tempted last night, but didn’t. I went to bed early and put on my calm app. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I was up and out with the dogs at 5:30am. The moon and the birdsong were glorious!

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

@PeacheyPeach no don't worry I didn't read it like that at all. I know you're right.

[changedforthis1122]

I managed to quit, more than two weeks now, and my aim is for good.

This really helped me, and while the effect is not exactly the same as alcohol, it works when you want something to relax you after a long day: www.sentiaspirits.com/. It's developed by Professor David Nutt who is working on a synthetic alcohol without negative side effects. This is the first step, a herbal product.

I managed to order one bottle but currently they are struggling with so many orders that there is a waiting time. It costs a fair bit too but less than drinking wine if you consume quite a lot! For all who struggle to stick to your resolution, try it.

[OhioOhioOhio]

Don't know if this helps anyone but years ago I read a quote about not being able to drown sorrows because sorrows have wings. Not sure if that helps anyone or not?

[Trying2021]

Hi ladies
I posted early on in the DJ thread and found you all to be so supportive.
I have an issue. I’m still not drinking so that is all good but I have my 22 year old son at home and he is drinking every night. About 8 cans a night. I have tried talking to him and saying this is not right especially as he is working the next day. The strange thing is he doesn’t change with drink and he is never drunk. He says he is an adult so can make his own choices. The trouble is I am a drinker so can’t really take the high ground. But I want him to stop. Any suggestions?

[OhioOhioOhio]

Find a short YouTube video to a little bit scare him?

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

Maybe see if he can do the drink awareness quiz from the Dry January app? Might shock him

[PeacheyPeach]

@trying2021 tell him how its upsetting you the amount hes drinking. Did hw drink this much before lockdown or is it a stress/boredom thing xxx

[Trying2021]

Thanks for your advice everybody. He is very healthy apart from this and aware that it’s an issue and that it upsets me but says he is bored and it’s something to do. He is a lovely boy and we don’t argue so I don’t want to keep nagging him especially as I know how annoying it is myself when people comment on my drinking. That is why I have stopped to try and encourage him. He never has trouble getting up for work. Before lockdown he only drank at weekends. He used to go to the gym and football after work. He is still very fit and does a workout every day and is not overweight. My DH doesn’t drink at all but doesn’t see it as a problem. Says let him have some enjoyment in life as he can’t see his friends. It worries me so much that it will affect him for the rest of his life.

[Trying2021]

@MyGhastIsFlabbered so sorry to hear what you are going through. You are doing so well and are so strong!

[TSBelliot]

Does he drive for work in the morning? There is an app that calculates whether you are still over the limit. It may shock him.

[TSBelliot]

You know I think really it’s never the pressure that works it’s the listening. Keep telling him you love him, maybe see if you can tactically disrupt his pattern by getting him to accompany you on a walk or shop or anything, speak honestly about how your example might have given him the wrong message. See if he will talk generally. Hopefully lockdown easing will bring changes.

[PeacheyPeach]

I agree with @tsbelliot maybe oncw hes able to play sports and socialise with his mates again that boredom will ease and if he didnt drink like this before you might Find he stops the amount especially during the week x

[Trying2021]

Thank you @TSBelliot and @PeacheyPeach. Good ideas there. I’m hoping things will change after lockdown. He doesn’t drive for work. He gets picked up. I think I am overthinking and feeling guilty because of my drinking. But I’ve only ever had drinks at weekends which is why I can’t understand drinking on work nights but of course everyone is different. I have 2 other kids who are not drinkers. Thanks again for listening.

[PeacheyPeach]

@trying2021 your a mum its your job to worry 😁 i think that more and more younger people dont really drink that much any more, they might do on nights out at the weekend but they tend not to drink in the week. Its only us saddos sat in our pjs doing that 🤣 once the footy starts again he will be out not sat in and that will make such a difference im sure xx

Hope everyone has enjoyed the sun today what a joy it was to be outside xx

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

I had another COVID vaccine shift this morning. I'm in need of a bit of a blowout - been such a hard week.

I've got to lose some weight so I'm challenging myself to a March boot camp - no alcohol, 10,000 steps a day and back to my running. No weighing in between 1st and 31st March.