Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

@StayingVigilant thank you - you're right, I do know I can do it and I know it gets easier as the days start to add up. I've got a friend to meet on Wednesday, and I am hoping to see my cousin next weekend. My strength in the past has been church but a combination of working in the NHS and being clinically vulnerable has meant I've not felt it's that safe in recent weeks. maybe it's a risk I should be taking though given the mental health benefit?

I'm going to try some of the things @SophocIestheFox has suggested though, maybe the pre bed meditations will help.

@Flowersinthefireplace when I first stopped - years ago - I was drinking similar to you and still working full time but I did need to be detoxed. I knew about it 36 hours after my last drink though.

And I should have said thank you so much for the lovely encouragement @StayingVigilant it's so appreciated. I need to rethink that toolbox idea.

@Flowersinthefireplace how did you know? I’m going to taper down then over the next week I guess....

I meant @vanitythynameisnotwoman!

I was very shaky and hallucinating.
But it's very individual. Do you feel you can taper or would your will power go?

@Flowersinthefireplace it’s your choice re moderation or total abstinence. Everyone on here has quit. Mostly because we’ve found moderation doesn’t work for us long term. It’s just creeps up & up again. This thread is for non-drinkers, so you’re probably not going to find anyone here promoting moderation. Maybe start a new thread? Hope that doesn’t sound rude as it’s certainly not meaning to!

Well done @SophocIestheFox. 🙌🏻 I hope I will be able to post on here in April to say the same.

@Stayingvigilant I’ve not mentioned moderation in either of my posts. I’m trying to work out how to safely quit avoiding withdrawal. Tapering means cutting down over a short period until you’ve stopped to avoid side effects.

@vanitythynameisnotwoman yes I feel I could taper. I don’t feel ‘addicted’ to alcohol but am aware I’m drinking quite a lot!

Apologies @Flowersinthefireplace I totally misunderstood.
I don’t know enough about detox to advise but as you’re concerned there’s no harm in tapering for a week then stopping. If it delays the quit by a week or so, so what? At least you’ll be safe! It will also give you opportunity to read some quit lit. The Naked Mind starts by saying not to try quitting until you’ve read the book (I quit before the book arrived but still working ok). Your plan sounds sensible to me, especially if you think reducing over a week is doable for you. Would your GP be able to advise? Good luck whatever you decide.

@Flowersinthefireplace 2 bottles a day is a lot so I think you would likely be physically addicted and need GP support withdrawing at a pace that doesn't put your body into shock or something. Again, as above, I'm not anything close to a medical opinion but I think you are wise to be careful.

That meant physically dependent, I'm not sure what the term is but like when people stop caffeine and feel bad, I imagine the same with alcohol but might tip into needing supervision

It’s not usually two bottles to be fair but has been a few times over Xmas. More like 1.5 bottles. Funny thing is I don’t feel I need it. Feel fine at thought of not drinking tonight for instance but am now terrified of withdrawal so considering drinking. Which is a strange place to be

Day 98 and I'm only just realising what a negative impact alcohol has had on my life. Once got on a motorbike with a stranger for a lift home really drunk. Left my kids in a hotel to get garage wine to drink. Taxi to a hospital because I was drunk in the day and my child fell over in the garden. Missed appointments because I'm too hungover to get up. Not realising I'd been burgled as I was drunk and didn't notice the back door lock had been taken off. I was out getting drunk of course. The list of shame goes on. What do people do when the realisations hit them?

@Flowersinthefireplace have you stopped drinking, from 1.5 bottles a night, at all in the past?

Wow, what a busy thread! Welcome new people!!!

I’ve had a lovely start to the New Year, with lots of runs and walks and family time. Had some shit news but able to cope sooo much better because I’m feeling good in myself, not drinking is a big part of that.

Hope you’re all okay💪

@LavenderBee sure. I used to have regular nights off and drank a bottle max when drinking but over lockdown it’s gone up to this.

Thank you so much for this inspiring thread. I’m on day 2 and feeling hopeful except for one thing. I don’t drink tea or coffee and literally every other drink upsets my stomach so I can’t have fizzy drinks or fruit juices or even concentrate. Tests say I not allergic just intolerant. So I drink bottled water during the day and of an evening, well it’s just been so easy to switch to wine. I have no idea what else I can do! Any suggestions?

I’m planning to start tomorrow. I’ve had far too many day ones.... a ridiculous amount and I’m fed up of thinking about it all so much. I’m usually 1 to 1.5 bottles of wine a day. ... maybe more at the weekend. A very close loved one had cancer now and is likely to go this year... in many ways it’s been a reality check.. that and the weight that I have utterly piled in through years of drinking and then eating crap in drink/when depleted the next day. I really need a community of others to begin and journey with... well done to each and everyone of you for claiming your freedom x

@NoodleNooNoo do you like herbal teas? Many are very gentle on the stomach. Hot water with lemon and honey is also nice.

@LavenderBee are you going to go cold turkey? I’ve decided to taper over a week

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I can’t say I have tried any. I have had a sniff of other people’s at work but they seem too floral. I can’t stand anything like elderflower for example

noodleNooNoo what about green tea? I like flavoured green teas. Jasmine is my favourite but you get lots of different flavours.

I also drink sparkling water out of a wine glass in the evening. It feels more like a treat than tap water. In fact, I've just realised that today i don't think of them as wine glasses anymore but sparkling water glasses. It's amazing how it's just about breaking habitual patterns.

Well done @SophocIestheFox , a whole year! What an achievement.

There's a good thread on active at the mo with non alcoholic drink suggestions @NoodleNooNoo maybe you'll find something there that would be helpful for you.

I'm really struggling to sleep lately. Nearly a month in so I thought I'd be sleeping like a baby (ha) but no joy! It was near 2am when I fell asleep last night. I'm considering cutting out caffeine, quite like the idea of 50/50 decaf to wean off it. Also considering taking up running. I'm a bit nervous of that one though.

@Flowersinthefireplace yes I am.. I know at those levels I don’t need a medical detox. But I know we are all different. It’s the psychological I have to focus on... I get ‘bored’ as I’m used to dulling things down and softening the edges... but I shudder to think the damage I’m doing