Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

@Breathmiller

Strykk do both. The clear one is gin and the brown/caramelly one is rum.

I got the brown one and added tonic . Will definitely try the Pentire. Well done wasabi on your 50 days. It’s blooming cold here now after a sunny and promising start this am so no outdoorsyness for me today. I’m rugging up and staying cosy! Doesn’t feel very Easter ish.

Hi all, I am new to the thread - this looks like a great place to be to sober up and live a healthy, productive, happy life without the booze. Day 3 here. This is normally where I start to feel better after the latest binge and start the cycle again. I’ve been having a nagging ache behind my right rib, ie, liver area, on and off for a while, this year the ache is more on than off, which is a bit worrying. It normally begins to dissipate slowly after a few alcohol free days. I am 50 and too old to be a ladette! I will check in daily, at the very least, for accountability and also to see how everyone else is doing.

Forgot to say - thank you for all the alcohol free drink suggestions - I’ve seen a few recommended that I’ve never heard of. I’ve been following the alcohol support threads for a long time on here - the advice and suggestions really are great. If only I could stick to it!

And another thing! Congratulations on all the milestones everyone has reached - it’s really great to read these 👍

Hi @SeaStatePhenomenal!

Well done for making the decision to quit. I'm so glad I did and that I found this thread. It's still quite early days for me, but I've definitely found this thread great so far.

Welcome seastate I dip in and out of the thread posting wise but I read every single post and everyone’s so supportive with lots of advice and general understanding. Well done in making this decision.

Thank you both @ItsActuallyWasabi and @Stayingvigilant for your warm welcomes and encouragement - so kind. Your both doing so well - it’s so inspirational.

Welcome seastate

Evening, Thank you @Breathmiller. Just checking in - Day 4 alcohol free. Busy day spring cleaning, etc - wouldn’t have been able to do as much as I did if I’d been hungover. Hope everyone’s doing ok 👌. Bed now - g’night!

Night @SeaStatePhenomenal!

I'm just watching some TV with DH and will also hit the hay .

Well done on another day! Have you got the ‘stay sober’ app seastate? It’s quite nice to see the days rack up.
Night all

Welcome @SeaStatePhenomenal, it's such a good idea to post and check in. I found it kept me on track and if I had a wobble it helped that I was in the habit of posting here.

I am still having the odd dream about drinking! Always wake up drenched in sweat and panicky. Then it's almost worth it for the surge of relief that follows.

Morning Ladies, thank you @Drybird2020 for your welcome, encouragement and advice - it’s very much appreciated. I have been using the dry January app since January @Stayingvigilant - epic fails everywhere! I’ve only missed recording about 1 week’s alcohol consumption all year. The calories are scary, never mind the units! Wave to @ItsActuallyWasabi. Thank you all for replying to me - it’s so nice and welcoming as a newbie. I had such a busy day yesterday that I totally forgot to check in - doh. I successfully completed day 5 yesterday although felt a little grumpier than usual at work - but that could been down to coming back after a slightly extended Easter break. Have a good day ladies - I will check in again later 😀

Hello, checking in. I don't follow these threads as much these days, as I have nothing to report usually. But it's good to see posters old and new are keeping @Drybird2020 company. I'm so glad you started your threads OP, they came at exactly the right time for me. Thank you.

Apropos of nothing, it's my Day 533 today (17 months and counting).

Alcohol means nothing to me now. I can be around alcohol and drinkers no problem.
If I can do it, anyone can. Any pleasure it did bring doesn't appeal. I prefer the calm and control that I enjoy now. And being on these threads has been a great support. So thanks again.

elsacragg 17 months is amazing! And so great to hear that it has just become a way of life for you. Very inspiring

Hello @Breathmiller, good so see you are still here.

Nowadays, I look back and can't believe how much my life revolved around alcohol. Planning for the days when I would be having a drink, counting down the hours until wine o'clock. Wondering whether I would be sober enough to drive the next day. Making excuses to start drinking earlier and earlier in the day. Hoping I wouldn't embarrass myself on a night out. Remembering stupid or dangerous things I'd done the night before. Or even worse, not remembering.

I wasn't like that all the time, not a rolling in the gutter alcoholic, but I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, and I had seen it ruin the lives of two close family members.

And it took several false starts, over several months, for things to finally click. But I'm free of it now. The feeling of liberation is so much better than any glass of wine.

Yes elsacragg so much of what you have said resonates. It is just so freeing.

I've realised as well that with the 18 months I did a few years ago, the dry januarys and Novembers and other various stops and starts and now this 8 month run (today actually), that I have probably now not been drinking for more of the last few years than I've spent drinking. So, it does just feel like a way of life now. I've obviously wanted this enough to keep at it. That really spurs me on.

Hi hope you don't mind me joining this thread. Today is my first day of not drinking and so far all I feel is that I'm inevitably going to fail again so I'm writing this here to try and keep myself accountable.
A bit of background, I come from a family of fairly big drinkers, no occasion ever went ahead without almost everybody being roaring drunk. So much so that we were often given drinks at these events as young teens and everyone just thought that was the norm. I then went to university and started drinking most nights like most students do. Met my now husband and as we were both students this lifestyle carried on. Had my three DC's and obviously didn't drink during pregnancies or when dcs were very young but it's started up again. Me and hubby both drink every night, it's become a habit more than anything. But what started as a couple of glasses each night has now become a bottle of wine.
I have tried giving up before and it normally lasts a day or so before I give in. I reallllly want to make it work this time, not just for my own health (and definitely my ever growing waistline!) but for the sake of my children as I don't want them having the same fate.
Sorry for the long post!

That's all very familiar, @wantingtostop, and I could have written your post at the start. If you really are ready to stop, you will be able to make it stick. At the beginning it is hard not to feel like you are sacrificing something but in reality that's booze trying to keep its claws in you. Once you're past the first, tricky bit, it becomes easier and easier to see what you are gaining. I'm so glad I did it -it sounds melodramatic but I really feel that I got my life back.

@Drybird2020

That's all very familiar, *@wantingtostop*, and I could have written your post at the start. If you really are ready to stop, you will be able to make it stick. At the beginning it is hard not to feel like you are sacrificing something but in reality that's booze trying to keep its claws in you. Once you're past the first, tricky bit, it becomes easier and easier to see what you are gaining. I'm so glad I did it -it sounds melodramatic but I really feel that I got my life back.

Thank you. I'm looking forward to getting past this first bit. I joined my first AA meeting tonight as well so I'm hoping that will help me too

Just checking in again - Day 6 done. Welcome @wantingtostop - fellow newbie here. I have just skimmed over the recent posts - will read them properly tomorrow - at first glance there are lots of things I can identify with! Busy day, tired and off to bed now. Thoughts of alcohol have been popping into my head here and there, I’ve noticed them more today than previous days. It’s just a thought, not so much a craving. ITs been a good day - productive, constructive and enjoyable. So good that my head tells me to have a drink to make it even better! Madness. Night ladies 😴

P.s. congratulations on your 8 month milestone @Breathmiller - that’s brilliant! Hope you have a reward planned 🥳👌

Hi everyone

Can I join please?

I am on day 30 after giving up alcohol after one too many nights completely embarrassing myself and almost ruining my life.

I was close to suicide in my hungover state. I haven’t felt so low and it took 3 days to feel slightly better.

The past 30 days have been ok. I think I’ll struggle when lockdown lifts and socialising can begin again but after a few sober nights I think I’ll see the positives. I hope I can do it.

Welcome @Longjohn33 - great to have you here! I can completely relate to everything you’ve said! Well done on your 30 days - that’s amazing - don’t go back! I have been recording all my booze intake since an epically unsuccessful Dry January, using the DJ app. I have set myself yet another goal, this time of 28 days (as that’s the typical rehab length time) - On day 7 now - I am determined to get there! My longest dry streak this year, till now, has been 3 days, normally it’s 2. Dreadful habit. Ugh. Stay strong, don’t be deluded into drinking - I firmly believe it’s an illusion - promises much, delivers misery. We can do this! 💪 Happy Friday ladies X

And I’ll be checking in again later to keep on the straight and narrow