Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

Morning from Aus, today is day 100 for me.
I’ve been here twice before, two 5 month stints in the last two years but I feel like this is going to be my last time, I hope it is.

I’m feeling lots of benefits but the best is the clarity and distance I’m getting about my anxiety. It’s still there, the ‘what if’ and catastrophising is a part of me, but I can seperate from it now and am much better at disengaging now.

The other best benefit is the huge reduction in bags under my eyes - so much wasted money on serums and potions, being alcohol free is the most effective.

Thanks to all who post here, its so helpful, welcome to those on their first few days

Congrats @DileenODoubts!!!🤩🤩🤩

Hey all, Just wanted to share a non-drinking related (though kind of drinking related because when I drink I smoke!) milestone on here: I haven’t had a cigarette in a whole month!😱

I wasn’t a daily smoker but over the last year I’ve often resorted to smoking when stressed. It really puzzled me that I was able to give up booze but struggled so much to let go of cigarettes as a coping mechanism.

I’m now 10 months sober and the benefits of not drinking keep on coming. I’m feeling so much more like more old self, I am so much less anxious and so much more calm. It hasn’t always been easy (I still crave nicotine and chew nicotine gum when I do) but I’ve persevered and here I am now. My lungs feel nice and clean and my running is really benefiting☺️

Thanks to giving up drinking I am finally able to address some of my other dysfunctional coping mechanisms. Feeling really proud today but can’t share with anyone in real life as I was a secret smoker😂😂😂

Well done DileenODoubts that’s a great achievement.

BunniesBunniesBunnies congratulations on 10 months and the smoking. One of my sisters is a secret smoker too, funny you can’t be praised in real life . I never let her know I know in case in ruins the thrill for her!

Day 7 for me. Thanks DryBird2020 for comments and starting the thread.

Hahahaha @Pepper54 yeah I say “secret smoker” but I bet my loved ones could smell
me a mile off😂😂😂 It’s kind of you to pretend to your sister you have no clue of her secret habit😂😂😂

Well done on Day 7, that first stretch is the hardest and you are doing super well.

Well done @BunniesBunniesBunnies, smoking is supposed to be so hard to give up, one more thing to feel proud of yourself for. You too @Pepper54, a week is brilliant, keep hitting those milestones, next one is 10 days I think.

Hi. I’m going to take an hour and read through all your posts. Day 2 of not drinking after reading Allan Carr. I feel really positive..except. I’m not sleeping. I’m so tired today after two nights of dipping in and out of light sleep. Any advice and is this normal?

Harrykanesrightsock I’m a newbie too, it’s definitely normal. Takes me 3 hrs to get to sleep and I wake a couple of times. No advice really, sometimes I sit up with my kindle or I just lie there thinking of my liver repairing.

Thanks @Pepper54. I’m hoping it’s just early days. I’m doing kettlebells and walking today so hopefully I’ll be tired enough to get a few hours tonight. Hope things get better for you too

Barely slept at all last night....does seem to be normal. Really hope everyone gets a better night tonight.....I certainly will...have been so incredibly worried about my liver I booked a private scan (booked last night online at 11:30pm and just had it done)... my liver appears fine which is a huge relief. So to anyone putting off getting help or stopping because it’s ‘probably too late’ it really isn’t always the case. Off home to try and persuade DH that this doesn’t mean he/we can carry on with drinking alcohol and relax with the kids with a cuppa in front of the tv. Joined soberistas last night and have checked out aa.org - there’s so much helpful stuff out there which is great.

That’s really great news Blimeyoreilly2020. I am planning to have mine tested after 12 months sobriety, giving my liver some time to heal, I think I am a few years older than you.

@Harrykanesrightsock don't worry about the not sleeping, you'll get over that, everyone is different with regards to how long it takes. I think average is a few weeks - a month. I am on day 55 and would now class myself as a normal sleeper (sometimes sleep really well other times not), but what I know now is that it isn't alcohol related! Also, the nights I don't sleep well I still wake up feeling better in the morning than when I had a hangover.

When I originally gave up I felt this inner peace and calm. It was glorious. I was thinking this morning how this has now gone but then when I really thought about it I found it was still there just that it had become pretty normal. It is all good!

Yeah well done to the non smokers and AF milestones! And newbies!
Not too sure if it was @Harrykanesrightsock or @Blimeyoreilly2020 who mentioned AA meetings but there’s another online meeting group, which annoyingly can’t recall what it’s called. I think I’ve heard @Hangingover mention it. I think you can have camera off & just sit in and listen.

Thanks @cameocat. Another very restless night but I do feel a real relief not having had a drink and knowing I’m not going to. It’s a weird feeling. I’m off to work shattered but without an alcohol foggy head just a tired foggy head today.

@Harrykanesrightsock the sleep does improve. I’m a nightmare for staying up too late but I sleep right through. Haven’t woken at 3/4am for over a month now. Makes a huge difference. I do need to get to bed earlier though.

@Pepper54 @Harrykanesrightsock I'm on day 56 (yes still checking off the days in amazement).
My sleep has not been good at all, only had a few nights when I have slept for a few continuos hours, mostly it's broken. I think it could be partly due to the water that I am drinking throughout the day too.

Still have days where I wake with a headache but not every day like it was in first month.

That said the other benefits massively out weight the sleep issue, weight loss for one - I can fit into clothes that I haven't wore for a while, people are noticing which is a massive boost. Mentally I don't hate myself anymore, have stopped mentally beating myself up for being fat, bloated and mostly hungover. No need to plaster the make-up on quite as much to cover the red blotches, skin has improved.

I don't want to go back there, I like this version of myself much better. KOKO.

I am 11 days sober and feeling stronger everyday. It makes me sad that I have wasted 10 years drinking.

Welcome @Jamesmouse!!! I know what it’s like to feel sad about wasted time but try to think of the future, not the past!!! I love thinking about everything I gained since stopping drinking and try not to focus on what I’ve lost. Congrats and keep going!

@Stayingvigilant was it SMART meetings?

That’s the one drybird thank you. It was for a poster considering AA but wanting proper anonymity as from a small town.

I have enormous respect and admiration for OP in what she has encouraged so many of us to try. The absence of judgement, the humility , the humour and above all, the support of all you wonderful posters are so uplifting. My consumption is probably worse than any I have read here and some of my alcohol-related horror stories absolutely cringeworthy!

Day 8 for me, last night was the first time I felt I might crack, I dislike cooking and missed the blurring effects of alcohol. Felt pretty flat too. Drank my AF beer and had a chocolate bar which helped. I never eat chocolate but I needed some sugar I guess. I always say I don’t have a sweet tooth (crisps are/were my thing) but of course the white wine was packed with sugar! Pleased I stuck with it and slept better.

Well done @Pepper54 and don’t sweat it @tangowiththetrafficpolice - I’m sure we all have our horrific cringe alcohol stories!!! I try not to dwell on them too much. I’ve made amends with people I’ve hurt and now I am moving on and looking forwards. Are you new to the thread Tango I don’t recognise your username? If so welcome🤩

Oh goodness first weekend AF and it’s warm and sunny. I need to focus on the positives and not feel deprived. I’ve bought expensive shampoo abs a hair treatment. My hair is crap and hoping no booze will help. One thing I’ve found strange is my evenings have flown by and I thought the opposite would happen.

I'm actually struggling tonight. On day 20...its a Friday night...

I can do this. Its just another day.