Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration

I've had a shower but got back into bed.

I've downloaded the Annie grace book so I'll listen to it on audible.

God I can't wait till tomorrow for this hangover to be gone.

furble what a beautiful inspiring post.

coldwatertherapy goodness! Reading your post. You have been through so much.i can't imagine. So much respect for you making tgis decision after all that. I wish you well. The good thing about this thread is it is based on being AF and all the benefits and support around that decision but I have also found it a great support thread for life in general. So i hope you get that support from being here.

ncsad welcome. Well done on getting on here and making that decision. Keep posting. You're in one of the hardest parts but you CAN do this. And we are all here to help you.

@ColdWaterTherapy I’m so sorry for your loss, I really hope you find that space you’re looking for and being sober brings you a limitless more peace.

Welcome @ncsad, those hangovers are so horrible, hope the day goes quick - my last horrendous one brought me so low, I said to myself this is the last time i will ever feel like this, I don’t ever have to feel like this again. Quit lit and podcasts are really helpful.

ncsad well done for getting up and having a shower. A day in bed sounds fine. Be kind to yourself. And think...this is the last time you will ever have a hangover!! Isn't that a great feeling?
Take each day as it comes and throw everything you can at it. Lots of nourishing nurturing things. Like showers, baths, walks when you feel up to it and bed, movies, sofa days when you can't. Healthy food when you can face it and your favourite comfort food to help you through the more witching hours if it helps.

And keep posting. We've all been where you are and know how you feel. You're only going to keep feeling better from now on. Small steps.

Hi @ncsad.
Those hangovers are a killer aren't they? It was a huge part of the reason I decided to give up.
I'm day 52 now and have to say the first few weeks I did suffer 'muzzy' types of headache and my sleep pattern was difficult (for me I think working years of shifts and night duty contributed to that).
HOWEVER -- it was worth putting up with to feel so much better now.
I guess each and every one of us on here have said/done something we regret whilst under the influence. You are not alone with any negative feelings.
Stay hydrated and eat as healthily as possible. Keep posting here for support.
Well done to so many on here on reaching milestones.

Welcome @ncsad!

Hi @ncsad just to say welcome and also that the last time I ever drank, I also got stupidly drunk and ordered too much Chinese and then passed out on the sofa! I know you’re feeling horrible right now but it will pass and for me now that memory is not shameful or painful, it’s just when I knew that enough was enough. Sending you strength.

Thank you everyone, you're all so kind.

I don't know what to do with myself today. I'm too hungover to do anything productive, I'm basically lying in bed whingeing.

What do people drink in the evening that is nice and feels like a treat?

AF alternatives that I enjoy are...
Nosecco with fentimans pink lemonade
Tonic and lime
Pentire AF gin and tonic
Kopperburg fruit cider
Heineken AF beer.

I used these a lot more to begin with to help break the habit. I know some people find them too triggering to drink.

We also had a #reclaimthewineglass on the last thread which was interesting with ideas.

I have sparkling water in my wine glass now. It feels like it's a sparkling water glass now.

I also enjoy bundeburg ginger beers out of the bottle.
Sometimes a fizzy drink but put it in a nice glass with ice and lime.

I tend to only use the AF alternatives at the weekend now and often find I don't finish them. Just one or two glasses or bottles of something nice then I'm done.

I also had over Christmas a home made ginger wine that my friend made with an AF liquer I got fron M&S.

I think it's just trial and error. Try a few out. You may find that you need them less and less in time. But definitely if it helps then find AF alternatives especially at the beginning.

There's also hot drinks. Tea, green teas. Hot chocolate. I even had a few times of having a decaf coffee.

There's also fresh juice mixed with sparkling water.

I like sugar free drinks - sparkling water with lemon, or cream soda. Also like alcohol free beer and cider occasionally. Lots of tea 😁

Hey @ncsad happy to see you here!

I like drinking non-alcoholic beers, ginger beer and lemony sparkling water, but recently, I just drink nice tea at home.

If I was to go to a pub today, I'd probably order a pint of sparkling water with elderflower cordial.

I love AF beers and really relied on them for the first few months. Now I only have them occasionally, I like herbal teas and Diet Coke otherwise!

All this talk of wasted take aways makes me feel saaad😂😂😂 I can’t believe I used to doubt whether I would enjoy food without booze, I enjoy it so much more now!!!

I loved the af mulled wine in new years eve, I really had a lovely night and don't look back at Christmas as in any way less because of alcohol not being a feature ... but I do know lockdown helped. Its just if ever something showed me needing alcohol is mostly a myth, Christmas did. And because I can moderate if I want, it was even more surprising to me that I didn't really consider a hardship or taking away from Christmas

I quite like nanny state, I'll have to get some of that in. I drank that a lot when I was waiting for an operation and medically not allowed to drink.

You guys all sound so happy and chilled out, I'm jealous. I want to feel like that too!

I know that I hate drinking and alcohol. The only part I love is the anticipation of it and maybe the first 2 drinks. After that its game over until I pass out. I just have no off button

@ncsad I love nanny state too! And some of the other brewdog AF ones too.

I’m not sure I would describe myself as “chilled out”😂 I am definitely A LOT happier and calmer than I was though!!! (I’m nearly 10 months in now). January especially used to be a real struggle for me, feeling anxious and low. This January has been so so different. Obviously I still have ups and down (especially with home schooling/working etc) but it is like I’m a different person compared to this time last year.

I am sure you will start to feel better soon too.

@ColdWaterTherapy so sorry for your loss. You really have had an horrific time. Huge well done sharing that here. Hope you’re able to access support in RL. But we are all here too... for anything & everything.
Furble your Sunday sounded magical - we also had snow for the first time in years. I was so pleased it was a Sunday and the girls could make the most of building snowmen etc. and not be doing online schooling. They’ve not had much fun for a while so seeing them laugh and joke in the snow was fabulous.
Welcome @NC249 I’d second GalOopNorth’s suggestion of the free online ‘Alcohol Experiment’ with Annie Grace. It’s helped me enormously. Some of her speakers have been really interesting. It’s made me realise so much about alcohol that I’d been oblivious to previously. The memes, the adverts, the drinking in every TV programme, the absolute normalisation of it. I’ve had lots of ‘aha’ moments. It’s quite introspective and I went on a bit of a guilt trip for a few weeks, but I think that was a required part of the process for me. I’ve only a couple of days left of it and will miss it.
I’m unfortunately drinking quite sugary drinks - Fentimans Rose Lemonade right this minute. Soooo sweet. I need to get off the sugar now. Be AF and SF.

@ColdWaterTherapy hi, how are you? I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine how hard life must be. Thinking of you. This thread is such a good place for support.

Hope you’re feeling a bit better @ncsad , well done for posting here. The thing that always feels like a treat to me in the evenings is a cup of tea in a bubble Bath.... it’s obviously more about the me time than the drink! I like Seedlip and also Wilfred’s. I want to save money for a new bike though, should have enough by the time they come back into stock, so will switch to nice squashes etc during the week so that the money that I’m saving can actually be saved rather than going on AF substitutes. That said, AF beers (Punk AF) were really helpful in the first few weeks. I’m starting to realise how much my drinking was just habit, and I can always build a different habit.
Day 78 here. Just over 3 weeks to 100 days!

I’ve just realised my spiel to NC249 was actually meant to be to @ncsad. Apologies!

Only just managed to catch up on the thread properly (it moves fast these days😅).

@ColdWaterTherapy what a lot you have been through. I bet not drinking will make it more manageable to deal with some of the trauma. It must still be so hard though.
I like your name by the way, I’m also partial to a cold water swim though I haven’t been for a while.

I like cold water swimming too, @BunniesBunniesBunnies and @ColdWaterTherapy but there is nothing that would induce me to get in during the colder months. The last time I went was the Autumn equinox and I probably won't again until May. But I am quite far north and have also developed what I think is reynauds condition which is an added barrier to enjoying cold activities.

How are you doing today, @ncsad? The worst physical effects of the hangover should have passed but you'll still be feeling the emotional aftershocks. It's a good idea to do as someone suggested upthread and write down how you felt yesterday and the reasons for wanting to quit. It will be useful to read again if you have a wobble and need reminding of why you are doing it. And in a few months it will be a positive reminder of how far you have come!

Have a good day, everyone. I'm off to work, it's tough at the moment. But I often imagine how much tougher it would be if I was still drinking.

I LOVE not drinking!!

The ‘I am sober’ app is quite good for making pledges, emoji your mood and noting down a few thoughts. It’s free. I don’t join the community bit as I find thus thread much more helpful but it’s another option.

You guys are so kind. I'm feeling better today thanks. Hangovers are the worst aren't they? The full blown anxiety I was experiencing yesterday was so horrible. I am definitely going to write down how I was feeling.

I love how positive you guys are about being sober. I really want to do this.