Welcome!
I don't know how others feel about this and it's quite hard to write down what I mean but hopefully you will get the gist.
To stop drinking it's almost as if the stars need to be aligned somehow. It's not just a case of willpower and determination but other factors and circumstances have to click into place.
So as I've written previously, I was dry for 55 days at the start of lockdown. Then my birthday in May, daughter's boyfriend sent me a bottle of red and that was it. A birthday drink kicked off a return to my old drinking habits which lasted until the end of September.
Throughout that period I tried numerous times to stop again. But just couldn't. All the good intentions were there, but it made no difference, I kept falling off the wagon. I even joined a support thread on her but only lasted a few days.
Then on 27th September I tried stopping again. Wasn't hopeful I could do it but decided to give it another try. Saw the Sober October thread but was too scared to join it as I was sure I would fuck up again.
It was only later in the month when I'd got some sober time under my belt that I tentatively signed up. And here I am into my sixth week without wine and not missing it at all.
It's so weird how sometimes it's like things click into place and how other times you just can't do it no matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try?
Is it like this for you? Have others had a similar experience to me?
I suppose the lesson to learn here is never give up trying. That no matter how many times you fail eventually things will 'click' into place and you'll find yourself with several booze free weeks behind you.
What are your thoughts on this? How has it been for you in your battles with the booze. If 'battles' sounds a bit dramatic, I use it because that's how it sometimes feels for me. I know wine is my enemy and not my friend. It's not out to help me that's for sure. And I do feel like I'm fighting it and so far in my life it's always beaten me.
Hope you can make sense of that ramble and I'd love to hear if you can identify with any of that, and how it's been for you?