Stopping drinking for a while - part 2

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Hi all, a new thread as requested. Hope to see you all here shortly x

@HotelRoomforOne good to hear from you! I think your story hit home most closely with me.
How old is your baby? I had my DC less then 3yrs apart and over the course of that time put on 6 stone
I didn’t drink whilst I was pregnant or bf but since I stopped about a year ago my wine intake slowly crept up.
I thought it was helping me to lose weight but now I think it actually made me lose nutrients and bloated my stomach.
I’ve cut out the alcohol, stopped propping myself up during the day with coffee. I’m drinking more water and exercising so much more. I’m also eating much more fruit and veg. I think the change that’s had the biggest impact on my weight has been stopping binging on junk in the evenings.
As soon as the DC were in bed I’d open crisps, chocolate, biscuits, sweets. A bit like with the wine I’d find it hard to feel satisfied and hard to stop.
It’s only really the past couple of weeks that I’ve had time to reflect on my sober self. Identify how my moods are connected to my cycle. The most important thing I’ve realised is that I have a choice.
A choice to drink or not. A choice to eat junk or nutritious food. A choice to exercise or hide in bed. It’s been a bit of a revelation but now when I feel a craving I ask myself whether I really want it.

The night out is tonight. I’ve told my friend that I’m doing sober October to prepare her that I’m not drinking but I’ll be honest tonight. I’m going to drive so I can’t cave to temptation. Hopefully it’ll be ok.

A choice! Exactly @ImSleepingBeauty. So often I've acted like the victim of my own exhaustion, giving myself an excuse to do things like eating badly and drinking/ being lethargic, all of which makes me more exhausted and perpetuates the cycle. But it is all just a series of choices, I can make better ones now.
Have a good night out tonight!

Yes I also managed to abstain while pregnant and breastfeeding, prob what has saved my liver. Wheels came off round his first birthday. He's 18 months now. Elder two are 7 and 5!

Oh my goodness, move over Sid you’ve got competition

He is gorgeous. Since becoming a parent I’ve become so anxious. I used to be so carefree but now I worry about something happening to me or them.
One of the things keeping me awake was the fact I never did my youngest’s baby journal. I used to worry that something would happen to me and my eldest would have this complete baby journal with photos and clips of hair and hospital bracelet and my youngest would have nothing.
I made so many excuses. It seemed like such a big job. Getting the photos. Sorting through all his baby things. Writing all the stuff down. I just didn’t have time. But now I’m now doing 2 pages a day. Just doing those 2 pages every day and helped me feel like I can do it and it will get done. It might take me a month but then I can stop worrying about it.

My friend has just cancelled. Said she has a headache.
Am I being paranoid to think it’s actually because I’m not drinking and it just isn’t any fun to drink wine on your own with someone who is sober?

Don't let your mind even go there @ImSleepingBeauty - and if it is it reflects on her not you. Your little one is a beaut! And I bet he doesn't bite

Sorry! I'm passing ownership of the gorgeous baby now - oops! Sorry @HotelRoomforOne

I used to drink a bottle of wine every single night. For years and years. Never more than one but still a whole bottle of wine.

I'm now on a bottle of wine a week. I much prefer my life now.

I'm not sick and tired anymore.

Thanks @fluckityfluckfluck.
Thing is she made a comment along the lines of ‘I hope you’ll be drinking again when we go to xyz’. Which is why my mind jumped straight to ‘she’s cancelled because I’m not drinking’.

Tbh I don’t have a large friendship group and if people stop wanting to see me because I’m not drinking anymore I’m pretty fucked!!!
Plus I had been psyching myself up to be in that environment for the first time AF.

Oh well. Onwards and upwards. I choose not to dwell on the what ifs and I choose to have a good evening doing something else.

@ImSleepingBeauty it's great that you are getting the chance to do the book for your third. I definitely do not even parent my third as much has my first two, I am sort of letting him be raised by the whole group here, which is ok I think, as I am worn out and did everything so (over) intensively with the elder two. Its great how you are breaking up tasks that seemed overwhelming into manageable parts that you can find the time for.

Just wondering if you suggested to your friend to meet you earlier in the day, say at brunch, when it's less socially acepptable to down too many drinks, would she go for that? I know it's hard to get away at that time of day with small children at home. But it might make the whole drinking/ not drinking thing less of an issue on the day. I know some people do get trollied at brunch ( like me in the past) but prob not if they have to go home to children etc!

Sorry your second baby I mean! I think🙂

Just found this thread again. I have no idea why it disappears on me, I can't even search for it?!

So just catching up on what's been going on.

@ImSleepingBeauty I'm not going to lie, jf I were in your position with your friend, I would be over thinking and thinking the same as you, she made an excuse because you weren't conforming to the night she wanted.

@fluckityfluckfluck sometimes everything just gets too much and you just need to accept it. I don't know if that makes sense. You've been through a lot with the ex etc.

@Patbutcherismyhero how are things with you? I think I saw you on another post (not swinging this time haha) and you're on the SW wagon too?

I've been naughty this week if I'm honest, too much wine and not entirely on plan with my diet. I found that for the past month or so I have been so overly controlling of my eating that actually it's made me really stressed. I've lost half a stone which isn't much but then I'm only 4lbs away from my pre-baby weight which I know I should be pleased with.

I've had a very stressful time with my ExH, father of my 2 sons. The kids have decided they don't want to make the 400 mile round trip to see him every other weekend and it's basically meant I have no choice but to begin court proceedings to arrange a more practical solution for the boys. Stage 1 tomorrow and I'm just anxious. That's probably a bit outing but hopefully no one is that interested

@cherrybakewelllll I saw a post about 2 children having to travel that far to see the NR parent. I voted YANBU to ask him to do it EOW. It is a lot to expect them to spend so long travelling twice a month.

Wrt to my friend. I’m actually wondering if she went out without me. Just because she rarely gets a break from her DC and I just can’t see her cancelling for a headache.

I keep reminding myself of why I’m doing this and the benefits for me. I’ve had a nice lie in this morning and then a Costa breakfast with the DC. Not head over a toilet bowl racking my brains to try and remember what I did or how I got home.

@HotelRoomforOne when I last went out AF with a different friend earlier in the journey we went for lunch and it was fine, but then she’s not a big drinker anyway so didn’t make much difference to her. I guess it comes down to the type of friendship and what we get from it.
In fairness it might have been a bit awkward for her to be drinking with someone who was sober.

@fluckityfluckfluck yes that was me trying to be incognito but it doesn't matter because whichever username I have, what I've posted is true.
Kids come back this afternoon, I dread having to see ExH but I promised the kids we would try and talk so that everyone knows what the plans are going forward.

I think with your friend you have to take what she said on face value and believe that she didn't go out but like I say, I'm with you in that ive known friends to fib.

@cherrybakewelllll I don’t see why your exH can’t stay over one of the weekends each month. He’s doing the journey anyway and surely it would actually be less hassle for him to do half the travelling himself.
I can understand the DC not wanting to spend all that time in the car both weekends he has them.
Doesn’t feel like a big ask to me given it’s only once a month.

I’m thinking about my goals for the week ahead. No alcohol. Lots of water, fruit and veg. Lots of exercise. I’m going to go for a walk by myself when the DC are at school, rather then just ploughing through jobs.

Maybe also a bit less coffee this week.

@ImSleepingBeauty that's precisely my thinking. He turned up yesterday when the kids came back and said he agrees he will stay here somewhere local once a month. So I think that's good. If he actually continues to agree to that.

Last night we indulged as it was our anniversary. Prosecco, red wine and a cheese board. Omg I feel rough this morning. I'm out to see friends tonight for dinner so it'll be Diet Coke and something light food wise.

Aiming to be alcohol free this week.

Hi all, it's been quiet here for a bit. Hope everyone is still doing well. It's been a boozy few weeks for me. Had a couple of birthdays and a few days away with family. But I have found that I'm managing Sunday to Wednesday with very little trouble now and 4 AF days a week is a big improvement for me.
I've always known the dangers of drinking on an empty stomach but last week I realised I'd had very little in the way of normal fluids before drinking and I felt so bad the next day. Really poor sleep, headaches, weakness and I put that down to dehydration so won't be making that mistake again!
I've a few social things over the weekend (still seem ridiculously busy even in a pandemic) but after that I'll be cutting right back again. I do feel noticeably better after a few AF days but the weekends never quite feel the same without a glass of something.
Anyone managed sober October so far?

After another dry weekend I hit my 30 days.

Didn’t make it the first attempt so feeling chuffed. How is everyone else doing? Was a quiet week on here last week. I’ll be watching the announcement later keeping everything crossed my area doesn’t go into tougher restrictions.

I have only just seen this. How do I get started on this challenge?

Just dropping in to place mark.

Without being majorly dramatic, we witnessed a serious crime at the beginning of last week and while it shouldn't be an excuse, we've drunk most nights just because we are in a bit of a shocked daze. And worrying.

Time to knock that excuse on the head and back to moderating from today. No alcohol here until Friday.

Hope you're okay @cherrybakewelllll xx
Hi @MrsHookey! Welcome, just dive in! We have a mix of moderators, 30 dayers, 100 dayers and lifers on here! Just pick whichever suits, usually worth a 30 day reset first tho, or certainly I found that. And then just keep posting x

Hi all , I have been off here for a while , partly down to my laptop still isnt fixed so I cant see what is displayed / wrote , though it is sort of behaving ATM and it was the 3rd aniversary of my DHs death early this month , I was very busy at work on the actual day training new recruits but coming home to a empty house was hard ( i live alone so youd think I would be use to it by now , but nope )
I did not get out of bed the following saturday except to pee and cook a pizza which I took back to bed , Spent most of the weekend feeling very sorry for myself and crying a lot .
I ate a lot of crap and felt like shit but I did not drink .

I hope everyone else is doing ok , Welcome to the thread @MrsHookey