Stopping drinking for a while - part 2

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Hi all, a new thread as requested. Hope to see you all here shortly x

I'm still lurking around and not getting very far. I am finding all of the uncertainty around Covid difficult to deal with and constantly keep coming up with the rubbish excuse to myself that as everything is shit you might as well have a drink to cheer yourself up/ make yourself feel worse/ get yourself off to sleep etc.

I am the kind of person who likes to have something in the middle distance to look forward to - like a holiday or a night out or something but at the moment it seems impossible to plan anything with certainty. Also we have been trying out being vegan which I am not enjoying at all - we are normally veggie with the odd roast dinner but its much easier to plan menus when you can eat cheese/ eggs/ dairy.

So anyway I am back on Day 1 - like a horrible kind of groundhog day.

@fluckityfluckfluck, @AlCalavicci, @HotelRoomforOne, @ErinBrockovich - go all of you ! Keep on with the good work and be an inspiration to me

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time @Cherrymix, get into the middle of the huddle I will try to keep you safe.
I know what you mean by wanting something to aim for . , when we did this together last year I knew I could aim to spending the weekend in one of my & DHs fave spots on the east coast , I wanted to do it again this year ( No intention of staying sober ! ) but that's not to be.
I have tried to create other things to look forward to but I feel like I am making things up to keep me on target but my heart isn't in it as much .

I'm sorry @Cherrymix, the while covid thing sucks, I've just stopped listening/reading about it now, it changes so much anyway. But it does make it harder.

Sorry too to @AlCalavicci that things aren't so rosy and @fluckityfluckfluck, hope this week brings some happier stuff for you guys.
@fluckity Sid is gorgeous! Remember puppy teeth too, still get them when I get home from school!

Sorry I've missed some of you, mental few weeks and few days, sending strength and we can do this vibes to all! xx

@HotelRoomforOne, I'm sorry you are struggling with anxiety; its rubbish. It does take time for the brain to rebalance after quitting, I think 3 months? I also read the other day that adrenaline, from day to day stress, stays in our body and causes anxiety; the only way to get rid is cardio and they recommend 30 mins a day for anxiety. Did not know that! But explains why lots of newly sober peeps take up running. I hope you find time helps and glad you see a way through xx

Thanks all for kind words. Really I have been lucky to be in a good position during all of this. So think I need to focus on the old one day at a time thing instead of worrying about what's happening in a month or two.

@fluckityfluckfluck - we need more puppy pics. I have started looking at pet videos on social media to cheer up

Hey @NeedAUserNameAllTaken hope everything calms down for you soon. And thanks for your msg. I do need to add some more vigorous exercise to counteract the anxiety..I got a bike light today and will be adding cycling for an hour each night.

I've been doing the one hour walk each night but it's not enough to make an impact.

My anxiety is so high these days I won't go out in daylight. Its sad and I only have two weeks until I have to start doing the walking to school and engaging with the world again..albeit from behind a mask.

I am so ashamed of how I look. I used to be happy with my appearance..overweight, so tired, so old

Still off the drink, 38 days or something. Now I feel that if I was to drink i would be making my problems even worse, alcohol has lost all appeal, for now. Strangely I have gone from drowning my sorrows daily to convincing myself I don't deserve a drink. A fked up way to get off the booze but at least I'm still of it and am giving my body some chance of repair.

Pour out all your frustrations here @Cherrymix and everyone! Makes me feel better about my negativity lol

@HotelRoomforOne , I bought a bike last year and went out on it a lot but it has sat gathering cobwebs for months now , I really should get out on it but I just cba.
Could you go out early in the morning while it is still dark but stay out until it starts to get light , then alter your times slightly every couple of days so you are spending a bit less time in the dark and more time in day light ?
I know you say you have bought a light ( hopefully you mean a set , front and back ) but please go carful out there in the dark there are a lot of loons on the roads and in the parks .
Well done on getting to 38 days !

For anyone that wants to watch something peaceful have a look at this , it meant to be entertainment for cats but I find it a nice distraction from work while WFH , otherwise I come on here for a few minuets a hour later I get back to work . I also like having it on in the background so I can listen to the bird song

Hi everyone. Was time for a name change. You know me as Erin

Just catching up. @Cherrymix i’m also struggling with the constant uncertainty re restrictions. I honestly can’t do another strict lockdown. I just can’t.

Im still AF. Day 10 I think. Did a zumba class last night and really went for it. I put on 3 pounds at my weigh in but i think thats time of the month rather then true weight gain.
Got a swim booked this week and will be eating sensibly. No plans to drink anything.
@fluckityfluckfluck thanks for the Sid pic, always make me smile.

@HotelRoomforOne i can so relate to your comment about appearance. I think the alcohol kept my weight down because i wouldn’t snack when i drank and i’d be too hungover the next day to eat much.
I finally found a chance to go through my wardrobe and it was so depressing. Threw out two big bags of clothes that either I won’t get into again or just look so awful.
I’m going to slowly build my wardrobe back up once i’m in a better place mentally. Can’t face clothes shopping right now.
Almost looking forward to the colder weather here so i can go back to my comfortable jumpers.

Sounds like a lot of us struggling one way or another. I went to the city nearest to us for the first time in months on an unexpected day off from work. It’s normally got a good vibe to it, but it felt bizarre and rather dystopian.

The sense of no end in sight virus wise is really not helpful, I agree.

Still off the sauce 36 days, so pleased about that, but struggling with ‘the cringe’ of all the years of drinking. Does this pass? I’ve got spots too...

I have found looking at awkward family photos website good if you need a bit of ‘chewing gum for the brain’ and a laugh!

Hi everyone sorry for radio silence. I lost this thread for a while like others have experienced.
Sorry to hear people are struggling. I am still getting on no better with my weight despite going back to slimming world. I just can't stop eating. This wfh lifestyle really isn't helping.
Booze wise I had 4 days AF last week. Won't manage the same this week.
Feeling pretty disheartened with everything to be honest. Life is just uncertain and boring and shite right now. My big plans for a new, healthy start in September seem to have failed.
Hope everyone else is feeling a bit more positive!!!!!

@Patbutcherismyhero
I wonder why so many of us keep losing this thread its all very odd , i tjink there is a conspiracy someone at MNHQ us worried we will sll go sober and stop posting
I have decided to odred some stuff from from the link that @Goingdooolally posted up thread just so I can have a change.

I really need to get out at weekend and do something

A little Sid love

Aww a little sid love makes everything better

Sid is still looking like a pup!
Made cakes with the DC today. We haven’t baked in ages because they eat half the ingredients and I get stressed by the mess but I actually rather enjoyed it today.
I’m pleased with the announcement today. Schools remain open and the new restrictions don’t impact my business plans so I can re-focus on that for the time being. Could have been worse. Hope the same is true for everyone else.

I'm awake two hours already. Feeling low. I think it's a very difficult time at the moment. I feel the loneliness stretching out ahead of me with no change or possibility of change. If I'm not with my kids or at work I'm alone. I would have said I had good friends pre covid but I'm no ones person - it's just a bit shite.

I miss my sister in Ireland so much. I'm worried about my dads health over there. The ex has announced he is moving the 22 year old in for local lockdown and the woman who had a baby from him last year is moving from Australia with the baby to move in with them the start of December for a few months. You actually couldn't write it....

I'm trying to be positive. I love my job and colleagues. I have Sid now. I have a lovely home and some security. And I'm 100 days on Friday and so so so grateful I stopped poisoning myself. All I know is this would be much worse if I was drinking

@fluckityfluckfluck Sounds like such a stressful situation. I didn’t realise there was a baby in the mix too.

Loneliness is so hard. Covid was also a wake up call for me regarding friendships. I thought I had 2 or 3 really strong ones and then when those people flouted the guidelines and stopped including me because I wasn’t, it made me realise we were never that close in the first place.
My relationships just felt so fake and I don’t have any motivation to attempt new ones right now.

100 days is an amazing achievement. Your body will have changed for the better in so many ways. You do have Sid and your DC and hopefully that will keep you going through these tough times.

Could be time for a hobby? Maybe something you can do at home if the early wakings and evenings alone are getting to you. I know it sounds geeky but I picked up a sudoku book this week. I used to enjoy doing them but then never found the time. I’ve done some in the evenings this week and I’ve actually enjoyed it.

Thanks sleeping, it's not affecting me thank goodness but I do worry about the kids. It's so much for them. Today is my big day at work and the end a crazy week so fingers crossed I will regroup over the weekend and feel stronger next week.

Sending hugs to everyone. Be kind to yourselves. This shit show doesn't look even close to ending

Crikey @fluckityfluckfluck your exes life sounds like a soap opera that you're better off out of. But I can see how unsettling it must be knowing your kids have to be around it. You've done so well not to turn to drink with all you have going out. I wish I had an ounce of your willpower.
I've tried to change tact a bit with drinking. Before I was planning ahead too much, deciding in advance which days would be AF and now I'm just taking it as and when. For example I fancied a drink Monday which is almost always an AF day for me. So I had one but then found I haven't fancied anything since. Just going to listen to my body and not drink out of habit.
Another disappointing week at Slimming world. I've put on over a stone and a half during lockdown. I can't quite believe it. I really do need to get moving more. WFH means that I'm getting in hardly any steps at all daily and as someone who detests exercise I'm really struggling to find the motivation.
The new restrictions and this never ending shit show from the government just further depress me. Especially now the weather is turning.

@ImSleepingBeauty yes progress is slow/ non existent here. At least you made some space in your wardrobe! You could go for some soft warm stretchy lockdown clothes. I've been in tracksuit pants everyday since March of course.

I bought into the idea that quitting booze would make me lose weight. You always hear it. Like you I often replaced food with alcohol, I didn't want both at the same time.
I drank for the dopamine hit, and to give me energy. I used to be extremely active while drinking, cleaning non stop for 5 or 6 hours at a time while drinking. Drinking then going for long walks. Drinking and then doing most things. I loved the feeling while it lasted.

Now when I feel bad, I eat something. The food doesn't give me a dopamine hit or make me feel euphoric. It just makes me feel like crap and like I'll never fit into my clothes ever again. That I'm going to have to get rid of clothes that I've wasted many many hundreds of dollars on. That I don't know who I am or who I'm meant to be.

I know it's not a major deal with the virus going on and everything. Thinking of you all over there, you are going into what we in Melbourne are slowly emerging from..maybe.

I guess I'm also worried about being overweight and contracting the virus. At least our immune systems are not being wiped out by alcohol now though, so there's that!

@HotelRoomforOne Stopping the cycle of drinking every weekend has made me realise how closely linked my moods are to my cycle.
I spend one week a month doing everything. I exercise, I eat right, I’m productive, I’m positive. I’m high.
I then have 2 weeks of existing. I’m not high and I’m not low. I get stuff done in my own time. I don’t binge on food or exercise.
I then have the week from hell. I hate everyone. The world is against me. I eat to excess. I do no exercise. I beat myself up.
Last week I put on weight, I did very little exercise. I felt very low. Guilty. Nothing I do is enough. I’m constantly letting everyone down.

I guess the alcohol used to exaggerate those feelings. I would blame my moods on hangovers. I would reward myself with a drink.

I thought that a AF period would make life ‘easier’ but without it I have to face the reality of my emotions. It’s really hard not to run from it.

Hi All! Sorry for the radio silence, I’ve just been so mega busy that this thread slipped my mind. So just to update, I had a drink on our anniversary and a tipple on holiday but didn’t get drunk so no hangovers. No drinking since. I’m fully engrossed in the healthy eating and exercise and have lost over a stone and am starting to feel pleased with my results. Am loving feel fab every morning and dropping off to sleep easily. Still wake up on the middle of the night though - but that’s just to go for a wee! Bloody constant drinking of water, mint tea - and camomile before bed - I’m like a constantly opening sluice gate! Speaking of which...

Just wanted to say hi and I’ve not forgotten about you all! Xx

I’m on day 13 (again). I’m going out for a meal tonight but I won’t drink anything. Will be nice to enjoy the meal without constantly wondering if it’s too soon to order another glass of wine

Hi everyone , bloody works shifts are screwing me up at the minuet , they are all over the place while we try to help get business reopen No sir we can not get you 60 cover restaurant and kitchen cleaned and ready to reopen with less than 48 hrs notice FFS !
I know I should be grateful that we are busy and a lot of people don't have work or are uncertain about if / when they will return but I wish people would realise that the cleaning we do takes a long time and is bloody hard graft .

ok rant over . . . . . .
@fluckityfluckfluck
Have I got this right , your ex is moving his 22 yr old girlfriend and his other lover and child in with him in the same house ? if that is right then the two women are either besotted and deluded or slightly mad !
either way you are def better out of it all together .

@Patbutcherismyhero
I think listing to our bodies is something we have all forgotten about esp over the past few months , we ( or at least I ) eat and drink (AF or A ) when it is the normal time to do so , regardless as to whether it is right for us . So if drinking when you fancy on works for you then that is fine , just take care that you dont start just fancying one or three everyday
@RandomGirl , it sounds like you have the whole thing nailed , well done , it is hard to get to that state of mind . 😎
@Cherrymix I hope you are felling a bit more positive and things are going well for you
@Ihatebreakfast , how are you doing ?

I could of drank a lake dry when I got home but I have had a pizza and a couple of bottles of Ghost ship and I am amazed as my kitten has decided to come and cuddle up next to me for a doze , I have had him about 10 months and i think he has only done this about a dozen times.
My overlord likes me ! 😺

He's only dating the young one - the baby mother was a one night stand. But yep - it's all very Jeremy Kyle