Lockdown sober up...

[LockdownSoberup]

Day 1 for me. I have been drinking too much wine during lockdown and want to stop - it’s just boring now instead of alleviating the boredom I don’t drink every day but when I do I drink a lot and it’s not healthy. Just a thread for me to be accountable but anyone else feeling the same is obviously welcome

Every evening before bed I am telling myself that I wont drink tomorrow. Back from work and always so much to do and then I pour a glass of wine. Most of the time it is more than half a bottle, 2/3rds. Started taking now Eudeamon Anticraving Assist - has anyone tried it before? I do not think it is working, have been taking it for the last 10 days.

So, day 1. I started buying wine at home when I felt guilty that I didn't go to my home country when my dad was diagnosed with heart disease. One glass of wine is today a bottle on Saturday.
None of us thought it is serious and 3 years after my dad passed after severe numerous complications.

This is one of the reasons I started drinking regularly. Second is not being to perform as working mum, so I would say it is guilt all the time.

I physically do not crave wine, it is the chores, that instead of just enjoying time off I have always so much to do around the house! Wine helps me motivate myself, numbs the feelings and I just get more done. It scares me that I wake up next day early and go to work like nothing has happened.

I would like to join you all, the first day-ers please.

Have been denying that I have a problem and hubby does not say anything, but this should not be good for us.

I am glad I am not alone here, most of the women in my circle do not drink during the week.

Hi all
Back on day 1 again 🙄

mummy no worries get straight back on the af. Just been searching for some good af ciders so might order a few.

Being a mum either working or not does make life tough,it seems that women just get lumbered with all the extra things that come along to. My DH is fab but I do much more than him I work full-time but have the mental load to deal with too, all the meal planning, school stuff everyone's birthday. I really do enjoy time to myself but since march kids and DH are at home so always someone asking or wanting something. I work 13 hour days so on my days off I don't want to get up at 7 so dh can work in the bedroom . Nomorewine sorry if the name is wrong I totally get your post wine used to accelerate my ability and interest in dinner and housework, I think I saw it as my reward. I opened the bottle whilst cooking dinner made it more enjoyable.

@Rupertpenrysmistress

mummy no worries get straight back on the af. Just been searching for some good af ciders so might order a few.

Being a mum either working or not does make life tough,it seems that women just get lumbered with all the extra things that come along to. My DH is fab but I do much more than him I work full-time but have the mental load to deal with too, all the meal planning, school stuff everyone's birthday. I really do enjoy time to myself but since march kids and DH are at home so always someone asking or wanting something. I work 13 hour days so on my days off I don't want to get up at 7 so dh can work in the bedroom . Nomorewine sorry if the name is wrong I totally get your post wine used to accelerate my ability and interest in dinner and housework, I think I saw it as my reward. I opened the bottle whilst cooking dinner made it more enjoyable.

That's what I do. I have to cook dinner, make sandwiches etc. clean, wash etc. after 6 pm. A glass of wine makes it not as bad, but just the thought that I have at least 2 hours of work puts me off.

DH is very helpful as well and does a lot, but I just find everything never ending. Time for half yearly reviews at work as well (we actually go to work, not from home).

Good luck to everyone!

Welcome @NoWine and re-set buttons pressed for @mummyof4kids come on ladies we can and WILL do this.

I have using wine to block out a whole host of awful stuff I've lost the past 2.5 years if I'm really honest. It totally distracts me from the harsh reality and numbs stuff if you see what I mean. I have no off switch and can't stop at one glass .. I can remember back when one bottle a week delivered with my weekly shopping was a treat. I need to be brave and face up to life without the wine. Sadly my husband is not helpful and has been the root cause I started in the first place. I've also got worse in lockdown because I've had zero help from him when I needed it most. He's gone out the door everyday regardless and I've not had a single day to myself since Mid March.. no wonder the drinking increased really!

Anyway, I'm staying strong and focused and most important AF 🙌

If he comes home early enough I'm off to the gym swimming.

Some great post (and welcome to those who are new to the thread). Inspirational reading ... and much needed by yours truly today.

Long story short, I met a friend - who was also once a bit of a boozer but gave up at the start of lockdown and has done incredibly well.

We tried to go for a coffee, but due to inability to park, lousy service, roaring traffic and a very windy day (we live on the coast) it was a disaster. Ended up back in my kitchen drinking tea.

The irony is that we passed loads of pubs with ample outdoor seating, umbrellas, wind shelter, and once upon a time it would have been perfect - me a large glass or two of red, and him a couple of pints of real ale. But today the thought of going into a pub and ordering mineral water (me) or a pint of lime and soda (him), just didn't cut it.

The reality is that life without booze can sometimes be very flat, and that's how it feels today. I'm very close to one of my 'fuck it' moments, not helped by the fact that the Annie Grace video for today (Day 4) was useless! The so-called expert who had written a book about cravings and addiction, seemed distracted and unable to vocalise her opinions. It was very weak to be honest, and the first day that I have been disappointed with the site. Up until now it has been inspirational and really got me thinking about the reasons why we drink, but today it just didn't hit the mark.

So I'm kind of thinking what difference does it make? Sometimes you just need a bit of something to get you through life, and if it's a few glasses of wine so what? We're all gonna die anyway!!!

Sorry to be on such a downer. Do what's best for you and ignore me. I know I'm better off not drinking than drinking, but it's not always the easiest of paths to follow.

Fanny
x

Hi @FannyFernackerpan
I completely understand what you're saying about life feeling flatter. The positive that I'm trying to take is that when I'm sober, I'm in control. The highs might not be as high when you're AF but the lows are nowhere near as low.
Having one too many leaves me feeling ill, embarrassed and depressed. I hate the regret that comes the day after drinking and when you drink everyday like l was doing during lockdown, everyday becomes shit! Despite this, even knowing what the result would be, when it got to the evening the cycle of drinking began again. Something had to change.

Day 5. Dh is enjoying a nice dead pony club beer. I’m enjoying a fevertree clementine tonic and ice.

Lots of water today too.

I’m doing ok.

Hi everyone, I'd love to join this thread if you'll have me! So much of all your stories resonates with me.. Ive always enjoyed the odd glass of wine, however the last few months during lockdown its just spiralled slightly. I now am probably drinking 3-4 bottles a week and don't seem to have a stop button once I start. I know its not good for me and I feel so much better on those days that I'm AF. I also feel like I'm a much better mum. My weakness is when I start cooking dinner as I generally tend have ny first glass. I've gone 2 nights or so without drinking but then the next day I will have a bottle again. So today is day 1 and I'm really motivated to do the 30 days - I just signed up to annie graces content. Hope youve all had a great AF evening so far.

spottyspottyladybird love the name. A lot of us can totally relate which I think says alot about women and habits. I am the same can go a couple of days if not more but then I start, usually in the evening whilst cooking and usually just keep going.

You know how much better life is af. We can do this.

fanny how are you feeling now? I think what you describe is normal, we all feel like that at times, that is what gets us repeating day 1 over and over.

I hope tomorrow you are feeling a bit more positive with another at day under your belt.

@FannyFernackerpan totally get it and I've had that conversation with myself in the past.. I guess it's Ok if you can take or leave it or just have the one. I can't so have to go AF 😆

I've been to the gym for a lovely swim, came home H on his second bottle so I've made myself a cuppa and gone to bed. Day two complete!

@lockdownlush
I hope you're ok - it sounds like you've got a lot of other stuff to deal with. I'm sorry your OH isn't giving you the support you need.

I've had a day of really not doing very much. I'm still really struggling with my sleep. Having seriously weird dreams and I'm thrashing around, lashing out and having weird rambling conversations with myself! My OH is seeing the funny side but I'm shattered! So today I mostly watched telly, ate beige freezer food and napped.

I have mostly been drinking lemonade!

@FannyFernackerpan - your post really resonated with me. I've had those moments and they have been especially bad during lock down because so many of the things that I could look forward to in the past are not likely to be available any time soon so the only "treat" in my armoury is a good old glass of wine.

I also agree about Annie G being a bit hit and miss - some of the days videos are really good. Others not so good or just have nothing that resonates with me.

All I can say is stick with it - I gave up for a year a while ago and I know that in that year I found ways to overcome those fuck it moments and the reward was the next morning, waking up feeling good about myself and being able to enjoy the day so much more for it.

One thing I've done during this latest effort to cut down has been to use a mood tracker app. It's so obvious after a few weeks of using it that the weeks that I have drunk my mood has been all over the place but for the last 8 days its just been bubbling along on contented - no ridiculous highs and lows. What with that and drink tracker, covid tracker etc etc - I've become an "App-a-holic"

sorrry should say "when I have drunk" not I have drunk.

Morning all.! Up as fresh as a daisy this morning. How you all doing?
@KobeWan its been a rollercoaster for sure but I'm fine. Thanks for your concern 💖

Day 2 yey! Went home and thought I am prepared and cooking will not take me that long, but spent 1:30 hrs before I start doing the important stuff! I am due to go and pick up my kids from abroad on Sunday and would like to leave the house in a decent condition before that ... Dh poured a glass of wine, I refused by saying I have a lot to do and will fall asleep ... Had a redbull isntead (another bad thing for us), but it kept me going and then I continued with sparkling water.
I was tired but managed to do a lot and could have done more, but went to bed as we are in the middle of 6-monthly reviews at work.
I also bought an eye cream to fight puffiness and dark circles.
Not too sure about you, ladies, but the glasses of wine from the evening show in my eyes on the next day ...

I am really surprised how many of us actually struggle. On couple of moments I was about to open a beer or pour a glass of wine yesterday, but did not!

Will be away for two weeks and although holiday it will be a change of the scenery and a nice place to go!

Your posts are really motivating, thank you!

Well donenowine redbull is not something to worry about just now. I agree my eyes look awful after a night on the wine. I mentioned recently how many of us are in the same boat, it is sad really it shows that something is going on.

Just checking by in.. AF night for me on the cards again 🙌 sitting here with an ice cold Pepsi Max and a bowl of plums from the garden. Rock n roll Wednesday here 😆

I almost caved tonight. OH volunteered to do a food shop and he has literally only been to the meal deal section of M&S. There's puddings and bottles of wine galore. Untouched by me so far. Might be a good idea for me to take myself off to bed.

kobewan I would have a pudding. I have to say I would struggle if I had wine in the house this early on.

Maybe head to bed and wake up.to another fab sober day.

I've had some chocolate and I'm heading up to bed. Might watch that Michael Moseley thing about losing a stone in 21 days - I'm sure they'll be no room for wine calories on that regime!

Wrestling with a few cravings this evening. We have exam results coming up for our DC and the waiting is unbearable. Especially where there is so much riding on it (DC1 needs grades to get on uni course) and seemingly it is so out of our hands. Drinking is a way of distracting myself from this but I'm managing to remind myself that it is also a way of sleeping badly, waking up with a headache and finding work a struggle tomorrow.

Off to do my sober reading. Night all.

Kobe - wine in house is always tricky. Well done on the choc substitute.

Good morning all, into day 4 AF. This morning however I'm up early for my boot camp session but feel like I've been run over by a bus 😩 the swimming on Tuesday night hasn't helped either.. my body is feeling it this morning! That said I've woken with no regrets from the night before.. anyone get those when drinking? Often I'd say a whole heap of crap but not remember too much the next day. Often spending the morning trying to piece together the night before and regretting it terribly. Husband no help again last night, straight on the wine when he came in from work. I reminded him politely we had agreed to go AF but it fell on deaf ears. I refuse to be swayed by him so if he chooses to drink that's his lookout. This mission is about and my boys, our future and my sober life.

Anyway.. it's Thursday, the sun is rising and it's going to be another beautiful day! Embrace it with a clear head and drink plenty of water.