Hi everyone - great to see the thread is growing!
I woke up early this morning (unheard of on a Saturday) and have already stripped the beds, done two machine loads, and lovely washed bedding out on the line in the sunshine, billowing in the breeze.
Thank you @KobeWan for that link last night. I've signed up and already it's making me think in a way I never have before.
As mentioned in previous posts - I've gone for long periods of time - 9 months on one occasion - not drinking, but I ALWAYS go back it. No idea why, because I'm not dependant on it, I don't miss it when I'm not drinking, but I just get these 'fuck it' moments and start up again. And as soon as I do, I'm back to drinking the same levels I was before.
My drinking comprises - two or three nights a week, drinking a bottle and a half - so up to 4.5 bottles a week - at home. I always drink to the point of being pissed - merry, giddy, but not blotto. So I know what I'm doing but I've got the booze buzz. Then I do this whole remedial action thing before bed. Loads of water / herbal tea. Lots of tooth brushing, mouthwash, pre-bed shower maybe, deodorant, perfume, bottles disposed of, glasses washed up - anything to erase the evidence of my drinking. I do this even though I'm single and my grown up kids are often staying over at their partner's places, so I'm not hiding it from anyone else, just myself really. Obviously the water drinking etc. is an attempt to minimise the hangover and although it does to some extent (stops the dehydration mouth and headache) I still feel out of sorts all the next day. So it's two or three days alcohol free and then I do it all again. Rinse, cycle, repeat.
I guess I've never really changed my mindset properly but already, just watching a couple of the Annie Grace videos, a lot of what she is saying is getting through. Maybe this time is really the time I can give up for good?
Anyway, I signed up - 1st August and it's a 30 day challenge so I thought the timing couldn't be better. New month, new start. A month long experiment and see how I feel at the end of it. Ok so I've already got a week AF under my belt, but I'm kind of seeing today as my Day I as far as the 'experiment' is concerned.
Right now, the very last thing I want to do is drink, but I've been here before so many times. I really hope this time can be different.
Apologies for length of post - it turned into a kind of blog, but I guess that's therapeutic. Keep going everyone and have a great day!
Fanny
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